Authors: Delsheree Gladden
Tags: #Romance, #Contemporary, #New Adult & College, #Sports, #Literature & Fiction, #Contemporary Fiction
The thoughts forming in his head brought a more profound smile to Eli’s mouth. “I know my mother never intended me to actually find someone and have a real life, but for so long, that was what I believed. I would see her wearing the pearls and know that one day I would be walking into the symphony with my wife wearing them. When I put the pearls on Leila, I felt like that innocent childhood dream I clung to for so long had life again. The pearls weren’t about my mother and her past. They were about my future.”
“How did it feel seeing the pearls on Leila?”
The tension he had been holding mellowed. Eli finally felt himself relaxing. “It felt great. She looked beautiful in them, didn’t she?”
“Yes, she did,” Vance agreed, smiling at his friend.
Leila looked beautiful without the pearls. She looked beautiful even when she was grumpy with bed hair at seven in the morning when they ran together. But with the pearls, she was a treasured vision, because in that moment, she erased so much of his pain and replaced it with her warmth without even knowing.
“So, back to my earlier question,” Vance said, “is Leila becoming an unhealthy fixation, or are you in love with her.”
With the question posed again, Eli couldn’t refuse to answer. His head fell back into his hands as he groaned. “I’m definitely in love with her.” He shook his head then looked back up at Vance. “What am I going to do?”
“Tell her, you idiot!” Vance stared at him like he had just said the most obvious thing in the world.
“Are you kidding me? Ana would kill me, for one. She’s in a relationship with Luke, for two. And three, I can’t tell her until I’ve helped her,” Eli argued.
Vance threw a pen at Eli’s head. Eli dodged the missile easily enough, but his friend’s insistence annoyed him. Vance was pretty annoyed himself. “You have got to be the stupidest person I have ever met.”
“Do you throw things at all your patients and call them stupid?” Eli shot at him.
“Only the ones that deserve it.”
Eli shook his head. “There’s no way.”
“Why not? All Ana wants is for Leila to be happy. Can you make Leila happy?”
That was all he wanted out of life lately. “Yes, but … ”
“This Luke character, they’ve been one what, three dates?”
“Four,” Eli grudgingly admitted.
Vance rolled his eyes. “Wow, that definitely means they’re on the road to spending the rest of their lives together. You’re the one who told me you didn’t see the relationship lasting because you thought Luke’s adventure enthusiasm was going to push the limit too far at some point and cause problems.”
“Well, yeah, but look how much Leila has already tried because of him!” Eli argued. “She’s been excited to try new things. Maybe their relationship will work out fine. I don’t know! How can I step in and ruin something that may be a good thing for her?”
“Because you love her,” Vance said frankly.
“She wants to be with Luke right now.”
Sitting back into his leather arm chair, Vance pressed his lips together. Eli knew that meant he had something to say, but didn’t know if he should, didn’t know what effect his words would have. Eli had seen that look dozens of times on his friend while working with patients. Eli squared his shoulders. He wasn’t letting Vance get out of telling him now. Having recognized that, Vance relented.
“If Leila knew you were interested, Luke would only be a memory.”
“What?” Eli demanded.
Vance frowned. Apparently that was the reaction he had been hoping to avoid, but he continued anyway. “Leila obviously won’t let herself believe you would ever be interested in her. You’ve already established she has confidence issues. She sees you as a friend because you’ve told her that’s what you are, but I can guarantee you she wishes it were different.”
“No, she sees me as a mentor or something.”
“That’s all she’ll let herself see you as.” Vance leaned forward, elbows on his knees, fingers laced together. “Don’t you see the way her eyes follow you? She smiles every time you’re near her. Sometimes her fingers twitch because she wants to touch you, but she thinks she shouldn’t. When she looks at you there’s a calmness that settles over her. She wants you …”
“… but she doesn’t see a future with me as a reality so she dismisses it as soon as the idea forms,” Eli finished. He wasn’t admitting Vance was right—he still had his doubts—but if he was, he knew Leila was doing exactly as they guessed.
While Vance looked eager that his assessment would inspire his friend to take his advice, Eli rubbed a hand across his forehead. “And that only backs up my third reason. I can’t tell her, not until she sees herself as someone who is good enough to land any guy she wants. She’s such an amazing person. I don’t want to have to convince her she should be with me.”
At that, Vance sat back in his chair. His eagerness backed off. “You’re a better man than me, Eli,” he said. “I’d just tell her and hope for the best. I couldn’t take the torture you’re putting yourself through.”
It was a compliment, but his words made Eli wonder. Talking about his mother had brought up memories he had kept tucked away for a long time. Part of him wondered if his unwillingness to tell Leila how he felt about her had more to do with his mother than chivalry.
“Hey,” Vance said later when the session was over and they were walking to the door, “are we still on for poker tonight? Steph’s going out with friends, and I’ve got Castelli’s pizza on speed dial.”
“I’ll be there. Leila has a date with Luke anyway.”
Vance shook his head. “You’re messed up, man.”
“I know. See you tonight.”
Eli walked away, sullen after remembering he wouldn’t see Leila that night. His gloominess only lasted until he got into the car and noticed the time. It wasn’t even noon yet. His next patient wasn’t due until one-thirty. What really lifted his sour attitude was realizing he was only a few minutes from St. Claire’s. There would be no chance of finding an excuse to see Leila later, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t pick her up for lunch on his way back to the office.
When he pulled up to the boutique, the realization hit him that he would have to make it past Ana in order to invite Leila to lunch. Fear of facing her was nearly a good enough deterrent to make him drive away. Vance’s words lingering in his mind and a powerful sense of curiosity won out in the end. He cut the engine of the Audi and left the safety of his car behind.
“Welcome to St. Claire’s Boutique,” a cheerful voice said as soon as he walked in. “If you need help finding anything, please don’t hesitate to ask.”
Eli smiled at the chipper young woman. “Actually, I was hoping to speak with Ana. Is she in?”
“Yes she is. May I ask your name?”
“Eli Walsh.”
The young woman went from overly perky to rather unsure, her smile going lopsided. “Um … just a minute.”
She scurried off to the offices as fast as her ridiculously tall heels would allow. Eli closed his eyes and tried to breathe deeply. Apparently, even the sales girls new Ana was angry with him. That truly surprised him, as well as annoyed him. Ana was a very private person, and respected her friends enough to keep an argument between her and whoever she was angry with. He had to wonder if word had gotten out some other way. She had never been one to gossip. Leila certainly seemed to have no idea of the real reason Eli had been uninvited to the recent fashion show.
The sound of heels on the hardwood floor opened Eli’s eyes once again. The sales girl rushed back into the room. Her mouth opened to say something, but clamped shut when Ana nearly barreled her over. One look at her boss’s face and she beat it back to the sales counter.
“Eli, what brings you here?” Ana asked politely. The frosty undertone was plainly obvious despite her words.
“Can we speak in your office?”
Ana seemed to debate his request before nodding and turning on her heel. Eli followed with a sigh, knowing this was not going to be the most pleasant conversation. Ana walked into her office and sat down behind her desk with her arms and legs crossed in a less than welcoming posture.
“What are you really doing here?” she snapped.
“I wanted to take Leila to lunch.”
“Then why did you ask to see me?” she asked.
Eli sat down in the only available chair. He met her eyes with more confidence than he felt. “Because you deserved to know I was here. I know you don’t approve of me being around Leila. I had no intention of trying to sneak by you.”
Ana softened at his words, but only marginally. “Why are you doing this, Eli? She’s dating Luke. He seems like a great guy. Why are you risking that for her? And I want an honest answer, not any of your psychoanalytical babble.”
“Because I’m in love with her and I can’t stand not to see her,” Eli said.
He laughed when Ana’s mouth actually fell open. Apparently she didn’t expect him to be
that
honest. Or perhaps she didn’t expect him to have that startling of a reason. Eli gained a little more ground when he saw Ana’s mouth begin to curve up in a smile. Maybe Eli being with Leila wasn’t as repulsive of an idea to her as she had first said it was.
Suddenly, Ana shook her head. “She’s still dating Luke. You can’t mess that up for her. It isn’t right.”
“Who said I was here to ruin her relationship with Luke?”
Ana eyed him. Her glare made it clear she didn’t believe him. “What else would you be doing?”
“I’m doing what you told me to do. Helping her,” Eli argued. “She needs to gain some confidence, realize what an amazing person she is. I can do that better as a friend.”
Toying with several scraps of fabric, Ana considered what he was saying. “How exactly do you expect this to work?”
Eli shifted under her suddenly intense gaze. This would make or break his relationship with Ana. He knew that without a doubt. They were very good friends, but if she thought he was out to hurt or manipulate Leila he knew she would cut him out of her life, and do her best to cut him out of Leila’s life as well. Eli thought, choosing his words carefully.
“Leila sees herself as this boring, non-special, uninteresting person. She doesn’t think the people around her would find her good enough to be a friend or a girlfriend,” Eli said. “I know that if I told her how I felt right now she would dismiss it and probably run away from me. She doesn’t see herself as someone that would be with someone like me.”
“You’re not that special,” Ana said to him, though her lips were beginning to curve up again.
Eli smirked at her. “Believe me,
I
know that, but Leila sees me as an attractive, successful, wealthy guy that is way above her. It’s ridiculous, of course, because she’s also attractive, successful, and decently well off.”
“I pay Leila very well,” Ana defended.
“I’m sure you do,” Eli said with a smile.
“What does this have to do with you being her friend, and supposedly not screwing things up for her with Luke?” She tossed the fabric swatches down and folded her arms again.
Eli answered her honestly, hoping she wouldn’t misunderstand his methods. “If I can get Leila to see me as a real friend, two people on equal ground, it will not only mean a big change in her confidence level, but it might mean she’d be able to see the possibility of having me, or someone else, as more than a friend.”
Ana was smiling again, but hadn’t uncrossed her arms. “So you admit your motivation is not entirely altruistic.”
“Not entirely, no,” Eli admitted.
They sat in silence for several minutes. Ana picked up a pen, tapped it on the desk as she thought. Every tap spiked Eli’s anxiety. He was sure his heart was going to give up altogether after the first minute, but it managed to hold on and pound away. Eli knew Ana might take his attempt at friendship with Leila as a form of manipulation, something she detested very much.
He had to admit to himself, that in a way, he
was
manipulating Leila. He was inserting himself into her life with the hope of pulling her into situations where she would be forced to see herself as she truly was, a beautiful and fascinating woman any man would be lucky to have. Would a real friend do something like that? Eli argued with himself that any true friend would want to help a friend and see them happy. That was what he was doing for Leila. Right?
As deep in his thoughts as he was, when Ana spoke, it startled Eli.
“I’m still not sure I believe you about Luke,” she said, “but I have to admit that Leila does seem to enjoy having you around. She couldn’t stop talking about the symphony for days.” Ana smiled at Eli, but it was tempered. “But I want a firm promise from you that you will do nothing to interfere with her seeing Luke. You may be in love with her, but that gives you no right to decide who she ends up with.”
Eli let out a deep breath. “Ana, you have my promise. I won’t interfere.”
She seemed to debate whether or not she believed him, but in the end she stood and walked around her desk to him. Eli stood as well. “Go take my marketing director to lunch.”
“Thank you, Ana.”
When Ana reached out for a hug, he gratefully accepted. They stepped back and Ana eyed him once again. “This doesn’t mean you’re invited to the fall show,” she said.
“No?”
Ana shook her head. “Your plan sounds all fine and dandy, but the jury is still out. This could go very badly for Leila. It’s her happiness I’m worried about, not yours. If Leila is happy and progressing by the time the fall show comes around, you can come, but if not …” She smiled, and it wasn’t a friendly one. “Just make sure she’s happy, Eli, regardless of who she’s dating.”
“It’s a deal,” Eli said.
Ana released him from the confines of her office and sent him on his way after that. Eli knew she would be watching him like a hawk, but he was glad of it. She didn’t entirely trust him to make the right decisions, but to be honest, Eli wasn’t sure he trusted himself all that much either. If he got out of line, he knew Ana would be there to slap him back into place and he was grateful for that knowledge.
It was only a short stretch of hall before he was knocking on Leila’s office door. An offhanded “come in” was the reply. Eli imagined there were people in and out of her office all day. When she looked up to see him standing next to her desk, he basked in the delight that shone in her expression.