“Whenever Dad went anywhere, he brought home a doll or two for her,” Liam explained, seeing where I was looking.
There was even a doll on her bed, between her oversized pillows.
Julia smiled and stepped forward to embrace her doll. “Someone I can depend on,” she said.
“Why don’t you help her to bed?” Liam whispered. “I’ll wait for you downstairs.”
“Okay.”
He left, and Julia sat on her bed, looking a little stunned.
“How did we get here?” she asked, and laughed. Then she closed her eyes and wobbled.
“How about you get to sleep?” I said, and knelt down to take off her shoes. She laughed and then moaned and fell back onto the bed.
“Look at me. The one who should have known better,” she muttered to her doll.
I helped her undress and searched a dresser drawer for a nightgown. She was practically in a dead sleep before I was able to get her to put it on. I don’t think she realized what was happening, but moments after I had folded her things and placed them on the dresser, she was dead away, still clinging to her doll.
“I wish I could tell you that you’ll feel better in the morning, Julia,” I whispered. I really liked her. If I had a sister in the normal world, she would be whom I’d choose, I thought, and leaned down to kiss her cheek, brush back her hair, and fix her blanket. Then I turned off the light and closed her bedroom door softly as I backed out.
The enormity of the mansion struck me as I stood there and contemplated the wide hallway and how far it went to the right and then to the left. Looking down from the top of the stairway, I could appreciate the size of the entryway. There were beautiful paintings on the walls, scenes of the sea, sailboats, and some rural settings. As I descended, Liam stepped out of a doorway and looked up at me.
“That stairway fits you,” he said.
“How can a stairway fit you?”
“You just look like you belong in a house like this, like you’re used to it. Most people who come here for the first time are a little intimidated.”
I nodded and looked around after I reached the bottom. “I’ve been to many mansions and castles, but I haven’t lived in one. I’m sure there are maids, housekeepers?”
“The maids come and go, but our house manager, as Dad likes to call her now, is and always has been Mrs. Wakefield. She oversees all of the housework. She served as our nanny after my mother left. She’s a widow with no children of her own. Tonight happens to be her night off. She’s probably here but asleep. Otherwise, she would be out here, X-raying you,” he joked. “Can I give you some coffee, something cold, anything?”
“I’m fine.”
“You look like you can hold a drink. My sister isn’t really the partygoer. You want to see the rest of the place?”
“Sure,” I said.
He led me into the living room. I thought it had one of the most beautifully designed fireplaces I had ever seen. The stones continued to the ceiling but arched out in both directions. All of the furniture was oversized, but considering the vastness of the room, I thought it had to be. Liam showed me the den, where they had a very large-screen television, a pool table, and dark brown leather furniture. After that came the dining room, with a table that could seat twenty.
“You eat here every night?”
“Not really. We have a kitchenette we use most of the time. With Julia’s crazy schedule and my comings and goings, we rarely eat together these days anyway.”
The kitchen looked as if it could service a small hotel.
Just off of that was the kitchenette he had mentioned. All of the rooms in the house, even the kitchen, had enough windows to make them bright.
“You can’t see it well now because it’s dark, but we have a pool out back and a tennis court we rarely use. We own about eighty acres around the house. Sure you don’t want anything to drink?” He opened the refrigerator. “We have all sorts of juice, sodas, and mineral waters.”
“Okay, I’ll have a mineral water, thanks,” I said.
He took out a bottle, opened it, and poured us each a glass. We sat on stools at the kitchen island.
“I don’t know how much Julia’s told you about us,” he said, looking down at his glass. “She was ten and I was four when our mother took off. Neither of us suspected that was about to happen. I’m pretty sure Dad did. I can’t say how much he tried to prevent it. He was devastated for a long time.”
It occurred to me that both he and I had been brought up by women other than our mothers. He had his for at least four years, although by the sound of it, she wasn’t there for him much.
“Why did your mother leave?”
“Despite what you see, how much we have, I don’t think she was comfortable and happy here. I get bits and pieces. At first, we were told she had some kind of a nervous breakdown, and then it went to her just being a self-centered woman who really didn’t want to be bothered with children and a husband. She was seeing someone on the side, someone who I guess promised her more excitement.” He paused. It
was painful for him to talk about it, but it obviously helped him.
“Did you . . . were you and your sister . . .”
“Sent to therapy? Yeah, some. I hated it, and although Julia claims it helped her, I know she hated it, too. It never really helped me understand. I mean, I think it’s just natural to ask why she married my father in the first place. She must have known what she was in for, right? Then I think, maybe he promised her a different sort of life. Dad’s always been anal about his work. I’m sure she was left here many times while he was out carving new territories, bringing in more lucrative business projects. She had plenty of household help. We had a nanny for years. She didn’t have to do any of the things ordinary housewives do. She had her own sports car, a limousine driver whenever she wanted to go to Boston, but . . . it wasn’t enough.”
“The house didn’t fit her,” I said. “What I mean is, the life she was leading. I imagine she had a lot of high-society events?”
“Yes, but I don’t remember my father talking about her having any close friends. Julia says all she had was her gang of phonies.”
“She didn’t feel she belonged, I suppose. It happens. You ever see the movie
Citizen Kane
?”
“I don’t think so.”
“You’d remember if you did. A very wealthy and powerful man brings his new wife to a mansion ten times as large as this, surrounds her with guests, gives her any material thing she wants, but she ends up very lonely and leaves him and all that.”
“She had a prenup agreement. But for a mother to desert her own children?”
“It sounds like she pawned you off as much as she could anyway. I know that’s not pleasant to hear.”
He nodded. “Dad withdrew from us, too, during those first years. I’m not trying to blame anyone else for my own failures, but . . .”
“But you couldn’t help feeling that if your mother could leave you, there had to be something wrong with you.”
“Right. The therapist tried to help me deal with that, but the feeling never goes away. You grow up going to ball games at school, being on teams, and seeing parents dote on their children, and you look at the stands and see no one there for you. Dad was always working, and Mom was gone with the wind. I did see that movie.”
“And Julia?”
“Much the same but better at being stable. She stuck it out through nursing school. She’s probably told you about Clifford, and maybe that will work out. She hasn’t been able to hold on to any relationship yet, however. She has the same self-doubts. She just isn’t as bitter about it as I am. I only worry that she’ll stay with Clifford not because she wants to but because she’s afraid to lose him. Understand?”
“Yes, I do. I think it’s too early to say.”
“I love talking to you. I have trouble talking to girls. The ones I’ve been with, that is. They seem to have brains made of jelly beans.”
I smiled. “Don’t shop for a girl in a candy store, then,” I said.
He sat back with a frozen smile on his face. “Where are you really from, Lorelei Patio?”
“Planet Earth.”
He laughed, twirled his glass in his hands, and took a sip. “I know you’ve had your own family problems. You don’t need to hear about mine.”
“I don’t mind. Really.”
He nodded and smiled. “I believe you. Maybe I got off on the wrong foot with you,” he said.
“I think, if I could give you some advice, you should stop blaming yourself for things.”
He actually blushed. “Wow. Thank you, Dr. Patio,” he said.
“I don’t mean to sound condescending, Liam. It’s just something I see clearly, that’s all.”
“You know what I see?”
I felt my body tighten in anticipation. Was he going to attack me for being too arrogant?
“I see one of the most beautiful girls who ever set foot in Quincy. And from what I can tell, one of the nicest and brightest, too.”
I felt myself relax again. “Lots of times we see what we want to see, Liam.”
“Then what’s the difference?” he said, smiling. He thought for a moment. “If it’s not too late, you want to take a short walk outside? I have a favorite spot I’d love to show you.”
“Okay,” I said.
At so many moments during the night, I could have stopped this from becoming something, but every time I thought of it, I backed down. There was something
stronger than my caution, stronger than my fears. Was that good? Daddy always said, “We don’t fear, but if you should feel like you do fear something, don’t be afraid of that. Most of the time, it’s a warning.”
He led me through some glass sliding doors that opened onto a large patio with a fireplace at the center. Reaching to his right, he flipped a switch and lit up the rear of the mansion with lighted paths, landscape lights, and lights in the pool and the whirlpool.
“My father designed every inch of this place,” he said. “After my mother left us, he spent most of his free time working on the estate, as if he wanted to reassure himself that having it, being here, was right.”
“How can something so beautiful be wrong?” I said.
He widened his smile. The outside light made his eyes glitter, but most of the brightness came from inside him, I thought. He took my hand and without speaking led me down the lighted pathways and then off to the right, where there were large maple and oak trees. On one was a ladder that led to a pretty sophisticated-looking tree house. It had four walls and a large window looking toward the ocean.
“It looks good enough to live in,” I said.
“My father provided all of the materials for me, but he didn’t come out here and build it with me. He gave me instructions and occasionally checked out my work, but nothing more.”
“He wanted you to have something solely yours,” I said.
“That’s what Julia says.”
“Listen to the women in your life,” I playfully advised.
“Are you in my life?” he quickly countered.
“I am at this moment,” I said.
He nodded and looked at the tree house. “Want to?”
“Well, it isn’t exactly where I expected to end up tonight, but . . . okay.”
We shot forward like two preteens. He helped me onto the ladder and followed me closely, protectively, as I made my way up to the tree-house floor. I was surprised to find some soft cushions, but the most delightful and surprising thing of all was the view. We here high enough to look out over the trees on the east end of the property.
He scooted in beside me, and we both lay back against the cushions, gazing out at the ocean and the boats lit up against the inky blue.
“Sometimes they look like stars that have fallen out of the sky,” he said. “See that one off to the right, how it twinkles?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. I know you won’t believe me, but you’re the first girl I’ve brought up here.”
“What made you think I would do it?”
“I don’t know. Yes, I do. You don’t seem afraid of anything or anyone. I mean, it had to take a lot of courage to just leave home and start out on your own.”
“Sometimes we do things because we have no choice,” I said.
He was quiet, and then he leaned over and kissed me softly. He held himself over me, gazing down into my eyes. “That was one of those things I had to do. No choice,” he said.
I couldn’t help but smile, and he kissed me again. This time, I kissed him back, and it lasted longer. I could feel my body tightening with passion. It rushed through my veins. He kissed my neck, my chin, and my cheeks before finding my lips again. He started to caress me, moving his hands to my breasts. I stopped him by seizing his wrists.
“I have to go slowly, Liam. This is already more than I had intended.”
“Okay,” he said. “I’m cool. But can I have my wrists back?”
I released him and sat up.
He rubbed his wrists. “Wow. You are sure full of surprises. What a grip. How did you get so strong? Gymnastics or something?”
“Something. I think I had better go,” I said. “It’s late.”
“Right. Be careful going down.”
He backed out and started down the ladder, waiting for me. Together we descended. For a moment, we just stood there looking at each other.
“I don’t know too many girls who would have gone up there,” he said.
“Now, don’t tell me I’m the first girl you kissed in your tree house,” I said.
He laughed. “You are. I said I never brought any up there.”
We started into the house. He flipped off the lights.
“You have to come back here in the daylight to really appreciate it.”
“Okay.”
He was silent until we got into his car and started away.
“I don’t blame you for wanting to be cautious with someone like me.”
“There’s no one like you,” I said. “Besides, it’s not you per se. My father once told me that tasting love is like tasting good wine. You sip. You don’t gulp.”
“Wow. I love that.” He laughed and shook his head as we shot forward into the night. “Thank you, Julia,” he cried, “for drinking too much!”
I smiled to myself.
And then I thought that if there was anyone Ava would target for Daddy, it would be Liam Dolan. He was virile, strong, and sexy, with blood so rich she could taste it yards away from him.
Was that still inside me, still something that drove me to do what I was doing? This need to please my father?