Daughter of Light (25 page)

Was I still thinking more of Daddy than of myself?

As we continued on into the darkness, I knew that the answer was lying out there, like some predatory animal waiting to pounce.

“I know it probably sounds silly,” Liam said when we pulled in front of the Winston House, “but I had a really good time tonight.”

“Why silly?”

“We didn’t do that much, and you didn’t start out with me. It wasn’t my date.”

“I think it’s safe to say that you made it your date,” I said.

He smiled. “Hope you weren’t disappointed.”

“Are you fishing for a compliment?” I teased.

“Absolutely.”

“I enjoyed myself. Thank you,” I said.

He leaned over to kiss me good night.

“How about I do it right and pick you up tomorrow late in the morning and we go for a ride on our boat? We’ll stop along the coast to have lunch and then just cruise for a while afterward. Pack a change of clothes, and we’ll go back to my house and freshen up, and then I’ll take you out to dinner. Very casual. We’ll make it an early night. Promise,” he quickly added. “I’ve got to go
to Boston early in the morning for a job Dad’s won the bid on anyway.”

I could feel the struggle inside myself. The arguments against a yes were so clear and so strong. I really wanted to get settled before starting a relationship. That wasn’t just a quickly thought-up excuse I had used to avoid relationships. I should be more worried. And what about the fact that I had been seriously considering sneaking off into the night and fleeing this place just a short time ago? There was much to worry me. This could end up as badly as it had with Buddy, and I could leave another young man brokenhearted just to save his life. I might leave a string of them as I continued my flight from one place to another. Was there any point?

But the other side of me, a side that had come to life with Buddy, was coming alive again, and if I ever hoped to escape what and who I was, I had to nurture it. I had to see if there was a way to escape from one world into another. I did like Liam. I was very attracted to him. I liked his sister and his father. I loved the idea of the neighborhood, the community. I wanted all of it desperately. I was sure none of my sisters ever wanted anything similar. I was different, and if I didn’t nourish the difference, I would not have an inkling of hope.

“Okay,” I said. “What time?”

“Ten-thirty okay?”

“Yes.”

Elated, he practically leaped out of his car to go around and open my door. He gave me an exaggerated stage bow. “Madam Patio.”

“Thank you, good Sir Dolan,” I said.

Laughing, we walked to the door. He started to speak loudly, and I put my fingers on his lips.

“Got to be quiet. You don’t want to wake up one of your great-aunt’s ghosts.”

“Right,” he whispered. He kissed me again. I expected it to be a second short good-night kiss, but his lips were so demanding and mine were so responsive that our kiss lasted as long as it had in his tree house.

“ ’Night, Lorelei,” he said so softly it was almost mouthed.

I opened the door and entered. He stood there looking in at me as if he couldn’t turn away until I closed it. I smiled at him, but when my eyes lifted just a little, I was sure I saw someone standing across the street in the shadow cast by a large maple tree. The silhouette was darker, maybe formed out of the shadows themselves. It looked like the man in the Underground dance club. I was tempted to step out again and approach him, confront him and show him defiance. As if he sensed it, he pulled back into the darkness and was gone.

Liam looked a little confused at the way I had been staring past him. He turned to look. When he turned back, I shook my head and closed the door. I certainly wouldn’t say anything to him about it, but I didn’t go to the stairway. I went to one of the front windows instead and watched until he got into his car, backed up, and drove safely away.

I shouldn’t have agreed to the date, I thought almost immediately. It was too soon. I wasn’t sure. I walked up, thinking that I might call him first thing in the morning
and come up with an excuse to cancel. However, when I got into my room, calmed down, and prepared for bed, I had second thoughts about my second thoughts. Was that man really out there? Was I imagining it? Perhaps it was just the shape of branches that suggested someone, but no one was there. Maybe the man who approached Julia at the bar was really someone whose mother Julia had helped in the ER. Was my paranoia running rampant? I had to control it. How could I hope to have any sort of life if I didn’t try?

Naturally, I didn’t get much sleep. So many visions from my youth recurred and interchanged with what I had seen or imagined now. Twice I woke up because I thought someone was standing in the shadows looking down at me. I could feel my body harden, my muscles tense up. In moments, like a ghostly shadow, it disappeared. I fell into a deep sleep just before morning and slept much later than I had until then. I was sleeping so late, in fact, that Jim took it upon himself to knock gently on my door to ask if I was all right. He woke me. When I looked at the clock, I sat up quickly.

“What?” I called.

“Are you okay? Everyone was just wondering. We all had breakfast and—”

“I’m fine. I’m not hungry. Tell them not to worry about me,” I called. I could feel him continuing to stand there, probably trying to think of something else to say. A wave of impatience and intolerance washed over me. I rose, threw the coverlet around myself, and jerked open the door. “What?” I asked. He stepped back, surprised.

“Nothing, I . . . just . . . worried.”

“I’m fine, Jim. Thank you for your concern. I’ll be down soon.”

He nodded, looked shyly at me again, and then hurried away. I showered, dressed, and went downstairs. Mrs. Winston and Mrs. McGruder were still in the dining room. Both looked up when I stepped in.

“Everything all right, dear?” Mrs. Winston asked.

“Yes, thank you.”

“We kept some hot oatmeal on the stove for you,” Mrs. McGruder said.

“I just need some coffee, if that’s still available.”

“Oh, of course it is, but you should put something in your stomach,” she said, and went into the kitchen.

Mrs. Winston looked at me askance when I sat at the table. “I happened to be up late last night and glanced out my window when I heard a car pull into my driveway. I couldn’t help but notice that it wasn’t my great-niece, Julia, who brought you home. Wasn’t that Liam?”

“Yes,” I said.

She nodded, grimacing as though she had figured out the entire plan. “Did Julia take you out in order to . . . what do you young people say . . . set you up with Liam?”

“No,” I said, smiling. “We happened to meet him where we were.”

“Happened?” she said, still skeptical.

“Julia assured me that wasn’t her intention.”

She said “um” with closed lips and skeptical eyes. Mrs. McGruder brought in my coffee and a small bowl of oatmeal.

“Just in case,” she said.

“It’s true, Amelia. We just happened to meet, and he offered to take me home,” I said. I thought it was best not to mention Julia’s drinking too much.

The two women looked at each other.

“I don’t mean to be discouraging, dear,” Mrs. Winston said, “and I hate talking down my own flesh and blood, but my great-nephew doesn’t have an admirable track record with young women.”

“Yes, I know about all that.”

“You do?” Mrs. McGruder said, her eyebrows looking as if they had just woken up on her face.

“What is that old-fashioned expression, ‘His reputation preceded him’?”

“Exactly,” Mrs. Winston said.

“Don’t worry. The minute he steps out of line, I’ll drop him like a hot potato.”

Both laughed.

“Well, he would be a real fool to drive someone as sweet as you away,” Mrs. Winston said.

They looked up, and I turned to see Jim Lamb in the doorway.

“Ah, you’re up and okay. I got my car back. It looks like new,” he said.

“I’m glad, Jim. You’re feeling better, too?”

“Oh, yes.” He looked at Mrs. McGruder and Mrs. Winston. “Thanks to all the tender loving care I received.”

“Good.”

I tasted the oatmeal just to make Mrs. McGruder happy. It was very good, not like some of the gruel Mrs. Fennel used to make us eat, so I ate a little. Jim
didn’t move from the doorway. Everyone’s eyes went to him.

“I was wondering if you were free this afternoon. I could show you around the area a bit. You might like to see the John F. Kennedy National Historic Site, his birthplace. I’m sure you would enjoy the House of the Seven Gables. And if there’s time—”

“I’m sorry, Jim. I’ve already made previous arrangements for today.”

“Oh. Sure,” he said, his whole face sinking in disappointment. “Well, maybe some other time,” he added, and was gone.

I looked at the two women to see their reactions. I was sure that in the back of her mind, at least, Mrs. Winston was thinking that Jim would be a safer beau. I said nothing and ate a little more oatmeal during the silence.

“We’re getting a new tenant later today,” Mrs. Winston said when I looked up.

“Oh?”

“Another young man. He’ll be here for a few weeks. He’s from Boston University and has very good references. He’s doing some historical research for a doctorate in history and just happens to be specializing in John Adams. He was very excited to learn about the Winston House. Perhaps he’ll be good company for Mr. Lamb.”

I knew she meant to take his attention away from me.

I nodded. “Thank you for this,” I told Mrs. McGruder.

“So, you are going somewhere today?” Mrs. Winston inquired. “With my great-nephew?”

“Yes.”

“Forewarned is forearmed,” she said with a small smile.

I nodded and left them.
Poor Liam,
I thought.
Or maybe poor me.
I wondered if I should feel sorry for him or be wary for myself.

He arrived a little early. Diplomatically, he brought his great-aunt a gift, a bouquet of fresh lilacs.

“Thank you,” Mrs. Winston said, standing beside me. She was eyeing my larger bag, which contained my clothes to change into for dinner. “I’m lucky Lorelei came to stay with us, or I might not have seen you for another four months, Liam,” she added, her face as chiding as that of a grade-school teacher bawling out an errant little boy.

Liam blushed, surely because it was happening in front of me. “Now, Great-auntie Amelia,” he said. “You know I’m always thinking about you.”

“Mind reading is hard enough when the person is in the same room, but across town? Not easy,” she said. Nevertheless, she gave him a kiss on the cheek and nodded at me. “You had better treat this young lady with respect, or you’ll hear more from me than you ever have,” she warned.

“No need to worry,” he said.

“We’ll see,” she countered. “Have a good time,” she told me, and went off to put her flowers in a vase.

Liam hurried me out. “She’s a tiger,” he said, opening his car door for me.

“I think she’s very fond of you and just wants the best for you,” I told him.

He looked surprised, and when he got in, he just sat there for a moment. “Do you really think that about her?” he asked, still looking forward.

“Yes, why?”

“She’s never given me that feeling. Sometimes I felt it was because she saw more of my mother in me than my father, and I know how she felt about my mother. She rarely misses an opportunity to tell me.”

“Sometimes people want to feel differently and look for ways to do just that if you give them the chance,” I said.

He turned quickly and smiled. “You know, if you keep this up, I’m going to believe I’m with a sixty-year-old wise old lady in a beautiful eighteen-year-old’s body.”

“And?”

“Nothing. I’ll take you any way I can,” he said, and started his engine.

Would you?
I wondered.
I doubt it.

“How is Julia this morning?”

“She didn’t come down to breakfast. Mrs. Wakefield brought it up to her, and you can be sure she wasn’t happy about that.”

“Who? Julia or Mrs. Wakefield?”

“Both,” he said. “Mrs. Wakefield is a tough old bird, but she has a genuine fondness for us, as close to the love a mother would have for her children as possible, I suppose. My father was lucky to have found her at the right time. Her husband had been killed in a boating accident when she was in her late thirties. She never remarried, and they didn’t have any children of their own.
We were a good fit, I guess, but she’s what you might call overprotective. Any woman my father might bring into that house is scanned better than by the scanners they have at the airports.”

I laughed. “I guess that will be true for me, too,” I thought aloud.

“Don’t worry. I’ll protect you.”

“Will you?” I asked, but it was meant to be almost rhetorical, a question that would be carried off like a leaf in a breeze.

“Damn right. Every chance I get,” he said. To punctuate his determination, he took my hand and squeezed it gently. “Let’s have a helluva good time and not dwell on the past,” he added, just as Julia had said. We drove on.

I really had nothing to compare to this day I spent with Liam. My times with Buddy were always in secret and confined. By necessity, my sisters and I had been closed in, our lives cloistered. Even on the brightest days, I had felt as if I were moving in shadows. We had worn them like second skins. The instructions were clear. Unless my sisters and I were involved in a hunt, we were to avoid spotlights and not draw too much attention to ourselves. How different this day was. It was as if I had been reborn in the sunshine. Automobile tops down, hair blowing in the wind, voices excited and loud, no hiding of faces, no smothering of smiles and laughter—all of it was part of a world I had dreamed of being in but never thought I would.