"Huh?"
"Roane can't reproduce. None of us can except for the Mori or humans. She got with one of them to have a kid. You don't need to worry that Roane will take off to find the child. Guaranteed. And if you're worried that he'll pine over her, it won't happen." His eyes were cold as he watched me. Then he lifted his hand and took a drag off the cigarette. "Want my advice?"
I clasped my eyes shut. I readied myself.
"Go back to him. You're the best friend, not me. Trust me on that." Ice clinked in his glass as he took another sip.
There was a haunted look in his brown eyes, a sadness that resonated deep within me. I didn't want it. It wasn't mine to carry and I wanted it gone, but I knew that the pain in him would lessen if I took it into me. After a moment, he lifted his glass. "I can see why my best mate loves you. Not get back there before I do something I'm going to regret."
I grinned. "If I can find my way back."
"You'll be fine, Davy. Trust your gut. It knows where to go."
As I left, something made me pause. Was there something more to his words or—I closed my eyes and told myself to stop. He was right. I knew before I left, but I needed to go back and face Roane no matter the end result. And so, with a deep breath, I smiled goodbye and then tried to trace my way back. It wasn't hard. Every time I took a wrong turn, I opened myself and felt Roane. He was around this corner, then the left in the hallway, and finally after a few more walkways, I found myself at his office.
He sat behind his desk and had turned to watch the club's chaos beneath his feet. The office was dark, but the dance floor's strobe lights flashed through. All sorts of colors illuminated his face.
I didn't know what he was thinking or feeling and I didn't feel into him. He wouldn't like that.
"You came back." His voice was quiet, too quiet.
"Yeah." My own was raspy. "A little birdie told me I should."
A snort escaped him. "I've never heard someone call Gavin a little birdie. Don't think he'd find that complimentary."
"Yeah, well. " And I had no idea what to say. Again.
Roane stood in a fluid motion. His body was tense. "Do you think that I'll never be over her?" As his head lifted up, his eyes caught mine. Piercing. "You think so little of me? That I'll never be able to move past Talia? Is that what you think of me?"
Oh hell. This was not what I expected. "I think that she was a big part of you. I think that…" What did I think? "I think you still love her and that you always will."
"Talia was a part of my life. A big part of my life, but she wasn't my entire life. She wasn't the reason I woke up. I didn't think of ways every morning to protect her, ways to help her live a better life, ways to make sure that she never felt the pain that so many others would in our world. I didn't start a war to protect her. I didn't make myself ache every day because I missed her so much when I knew that she needed to live a normal life. I didn't kill vampires or humans without a second thought for her. I never did those things for Talia."
My eyes couldn't leave his.
Roane started to come to me. "The elders thought I was growing too close to her so they sent me away. I went. I never argued. I never considered it. I didn't fight for her and I was gone for over a year before I felt her death. And when I felt it, Davy, it didn't hurt. She was where she wanted to be. She was at peace. I loved her, but not like I love you. I love you to the point of starting a war for you. I love you to the point where I want you to be in college. I want you to have as normal of a life as you possibly can. Because one day I know that you'll have to leave all of that. You're going to have to stop being a normal human and come by my side to be the Immortal. I know that you don't want that. I know that you want me, but you want to be normal more. And I'm trying to help you. I am, but it's so goddamn hard when you disappear for three months and I can't do one thing to bring you back to me. And then, suddenly, you're here. You've come back to me and I had nothing to do with it. You brought yourself back. You saved yourself. You did it. Not me. It's a hard pill to swallow when I'm able to protect anybody, but I can't protect you, the one person that I would do anything to save. I can't. And then you tell me about Talia's daughter. I'm reminded that it's another thing I can't give you. I can't have a child with you. And I want to. I want so much to do that. I want to have a normal life with you, but I can't. We can't, but you can have parts that are normal. You can still have a child. I didn't think Immortals could, but she did so you can—"
I stopped him and placed a finger over his lips. They were so tender. And then I replaced my finger with my lips.
It felt right to kiss him again.
Roane picked me up and kicked his door shut at the same time. He sat me down on his desk and his mouth opened. He took control and his tongue swept inside. He demanded entrance and I let him. I felt him rub against me, teasing, capturing. I grabbed onto the back of his head and held myself against him. He groaned as he sucked on my bottom lip.
A knock sounded at the door and Roane growled, "Leave!"
They didn't. They knocked again.
"No." I held him tighter.
"Who is it?"
"It's Gregory." We could hear his hesitation. "There's a guest asking for you. She wishes to enter the premises."
"A guest?" Roane pulled away now.
"No," I whimpered. Our time was here. I wasn't going to let someone stop us.
"I'm sorry." He kissed my forehead and stood back. "I should go. Gregory wouldn't interrupt unless it was important."
"But—" My mouth fell open and I watched him walk towards the door. "This is important!"
Roane flashed me a grin. "Don't worry. I'll be coming right back, quicker than you think and you'd better be naked."
I perked up at that thought.
He was gone then, but it wasn't long before he was back. When he came through the door, a pained look was on his face. I had a brief second to ponder why before the guest poked her head around Roane.
"Kates." My mouth hung open. I knew I should've said something more welcoming, but holy moly.
With a squeal and a skip, she threw her arms around me and hugged me tight. "Davy! It's so good to see you again."
I patted her back. "You left to find someone? Who was it?"
Not to mention, what was with the happy note? When she left, she'd been morose and depressed. She'd gone to search for someone. Now she was back. With a simple white tee shirt and jeans, her hair gleamed bright blonde instead of the dirty locks she'd had before. She looked nothing like the mischievous bad girl from before.
She laughed and pulled away from me. "I lied to you."
Shock. Not.
Kates added, "I made it sound like I needed to deal with my daddy issues and Blue suggested that I should go and find him. I'm not stupid. I knew that she wanted me out of your life. She can't brainwash you when I'm around."
I narrowed my eyes, frowning as I heard more evidence against my old sponsor.
Kates continued, "You're wondering what I was up to, but the truth is that I went on a mission for your boyfriend." She clasped a hand on Roane's shoulder, or she tried to. He moved away at the last moment and Kates' hand fell back to her side. She laughed. "He wanted me to find Lucan and I did!"
Silence met the last bomb she dropped.
I waited a beat. "You what?"
"I found Lucan."
My eyes shot to Roane. "She what?"
He'd been studying me with narrowed eyes and now he moved forward. "Kates, go with Gregory. He'll take you to a room. You can settle down for the night. I'm sure you're tired."
"Not really. I'm amped up. Mind if I hit the club instead?"
"There are vampires down there."
Kates me an incredulous look. "You know they're my forte."
"No killing and no screwing," Roane warned. "They've pledged their allegiance to me. I don't want any of them upset that a slayer is in their midst."
"You know I can't kill. I've followed the decree." Kates didn't seem to mind that she was being hurried out of the room. Just as she disappeared through the door, she looked back and winked at me. I relaxed as I saw the same Kates from before.
When the door shut, the mood wasn't the same. I wanted to smash his bones now, not jump them. "You sent her to find your brother?"
"I did."
"And when were you going to tell me this?"
"I wasn't." He didn't seem guilt-ridden by that answer.
I wanted to hurt him. Bad. "What else should you tell me? Anything else that you had my best friend do for you?"
He hesitated, but then answered emotionless, "Blue. I knew your sponsor wasn't being honest with you and I knew she was only trying to get close to Kates to try and control you. I told Kates about Blue, that she's working for Jacith and was sent by him. Her job was to report back to him when you became the Immortal. Kates was supposed to try and get information from Blue, not the other way around. When it wasn't working and when I knew Lucan had gone to the Mori for protection, I sent her to him. I can't get to him there. They're too strong for me, but she could. She's human and he loves her."
I sucked in my breath. "I thought no one knew I was the Immortal. I didn't think Jacith knew about me."
"There was a prophecy about an empath who would become the Immortal. Jacith doesn't believe in it. He doesn't think the thread-holder can become something more, but he sent her anyways. You know this. You know that Blue worked for him and that she had been picked for you."
I did, but I hadn't realized the extent of her betrayal. Or that Jacith knew about me.
"Davy, you knew when Kates had kidnapped Blue that time. She knew about you then. She knew you were the Immortal. You were in her head. You heard her talk about Jacith. He sent her to you."
"Stop." I held my hands over my ears. I didn't want to hear about another person who had lied to me and betrayed me.
"I'm sorry that I never told you. I didn't want you to get mixed up in all that deceit. I hoped not to involve you and then when I found out Lucan went to the Mori, it seemed like the perfect timing. Kates said that she couldn't get any information from Blue without raising more suspicion. She worried that Blue would start to piece everything together. Blue still thinks you're merely a thread-holder. I want her to keep thinking that. I don't want her to raise Jacith's concerns. He thinks he's only sending an army to find the thread-holder. He doesn't think you're an actual threat. That time will come. It's coming soon. I didn't want to fight Lucan and Jacith at the same time so I moved first. I needed someone to get close to my brother. Kates fit the bill. I knew he'd let her get close."
Jacith, Jacith, Jacith. Everything was about this guy and I was starting to hate him. I gritted my teeth.
"I needed to know what Lucan is planning. He didn't just go away. He went somewhere to wait for his next attempt at you. I'm not stupid. I know my brother and I know he has every intention of getting your power. I needed to know what to expect from him so that I could bring the fight to him. I have to take him out first, at least before Jacith comes to us. You understand, right? Tell me you understand."
Did I? Well, I had to. It made sense. That was the problem. So many lies. So much deception. And Roane acted like none of it was personal. It was all business to him, but it wasn't to me. Kates was my best friend. She had lied to me. Roane had lied to me. Blue had lied to me. And this Jacith person had been manipulating me since I'd been born. Everything about this war was personal to me.
"Davy?"
"Stop!" He reached for my arm, but I backed away. "Just stop. I can't. She's my best friend and you sent her away to a lunatic. She's my best friend, Roane! She could've been killed. Lucan could've killed her."
"She's a slayer."
"She's human. She can die."
"Everyone dies."
"I don't. This is about me. Everyone wants something from me. They want me dead or they want to take what's in me. Blue was like a mother to me. I thought of her like that. She was my mother. My own mom died. Did someone do that? Did Blue do that? Did she really die in a car accident? Is Kates really my best friend? Maybe Lucan sent her to me too. And you? Are you who you say you are? Do you actually love me? Or is this all a strategy too?"
A part of me cringed as I heard the hysteria in my voice, but another part of me shut down. I felt myself growing numb. I couldn't handle any more deception, any more lies. Where was the truth? I couldn't find it anymore. I couldn't feel it.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
"Shut up."
"What?" I turned.
Roane had an annoyed look in his eyes and he shook his head. "Shut up."
Excuse me?"
"You're not that girl anymore. You're not naïve. You're not being sheltered. And you're in no way being fooled by anyone. Yes, I kept some things from you, but did you really want to know any of that? You knew I had to do things to protect you. You knew Lucan got away. What did you think I was going to do? What did you think about Blue? You knew she's been lying to you and you did nothing."