Authors: Martha Bourke
Ana pulled on her other boot. She could hear SE’s electric shaver in the bathroom.
“SE, are you almost ready?”
“I’m coming. Just give me two seconds,
ihkweea
.”
Ihkweea.
Every time he called her by his Kikapu nickname for her she still got goose bumps. She picked her Coke up off SE’s nightstand and took a swig. For no real reason, she leaned over and pulled open the drawer of his nightstand. At first she thought it was empty and then she noticed a framed photo lying at the bottom. She took it out and looked at it. It was an old picture of SE with his first mate, Gabriela. They were with Richard and Adriana on the beach somewhere.
Ana paused, and then put it back and closed the drawer.
SE walked out of the bathroom. “All set?”
“Yeah. Let’s go.”
She followed SE down the back of the upstairs hallway, into the small sitting room, and down the hidden staircase to the compound. She waited while her mate knocked on the wall next to the entrance of the recovery room.
After a few moments, Richard poked his head out. “Hey, there you two are. We thought you had gotten lost in that new car of yours, Ana.”
They followed the brother into the room and over to the bed where his mate lay recuperating.
Adriana laughed. “Hey, it’s a hot car, Ana. You’d have every excuse in the world.”
Richard took baby Maya out of her bassinette and handed her to SE.
He took her in his arms and carefully supported her head. “She’s gorgeous, Adriana. She looks just like you.”
Richard smiled. “She does look like Adri, doesn’t she? Anyway, we asked you two to come down alone for a reason. SE, twenty years ago, you and Gabi asked Adriana and me to be legal guardians for Cesar if anything ever happened to you. Adriana and I were hoping you guys would return the favor.”
SE shook his head. “Are you sure, Richard? I don’t have the best track record as a parent.”
Ana winced. She could hear the pain in her mate’s voice.
“Adriana and I both believe there was nothing you could have done, SE. No one knows why some shifters
permaphase
after the loss of a mate, but you sure as hell didn’t do it on purpose. Anyway, we totally understand if you don’t want to do it. But we wanted to ask.”
SE handed the offspring to his mate. “Of course. Ana and I will definitely talk about it. Right now, you and I are going to be late meeting Reyn.”
“Shit. Totally forgot.”
Adriana grinned. “Bye, my male.”
Richard kissed her forehead. “We shouldn’t be too long.”
Ana smiled at her friend. “She is so cute, Adriana.”
“Thanks, sweetie. Hey, are you okay?”
Damn it.
Ana gently placed baby Maya back in the bassinette and leaned on the edge of the bed.
Adriana put her hand on hers. “What’s wrong? Hey…are you having a cycle?”
Ana looked up at her and nodded.
“Is it your first one?”
“Yes.”
“It doesn’t surprise me. You’re the right age and with everything that’s been going on around here.”
Ana sighed. “I feel like I’m losing my mind.”
Adriana laughed. “Emotional?”
“I didn’t think so, but then I found this picture of Gabriela in SE’s nightstand. At first, I was going to ask him if he wanted to put it up, you know? And then I was like, wait, why does he have this and—”
“Ana, what picture of Gabi? I’m the one who helped him go through all his stuff in storage. He didn’t bring down any photos.”
“It’s a photo of SE and Gabriela on a beach with you and Richard.”
“Oh, no, honey. He saw that picture on the bookshelf in our living room. Later on I told him he could keep it. We didn’t know about your mating then or I wouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. If he wants it, he should have it. I don’t know what came over me.”
“I do. You got territorial. Males don’t have the monopoly on that, you know.”
Ana shook her head. “But she’s dead.”
“Doesn’t matter.” Adriana patted the bed beside her. “Here, scoot closer. I wanna tell you something.”
Ana got up on the bed and sat down next to her.
“Do you know why SE wanted to go through his things in the attic?”
She shook her head.
“He was determined to find his mother’s ring for you in time for the ceremony yesterday.”
“Really?”
“Really. He was thrilled when we found it. And I’ll tell you something else. Your relationship with SE is nothing like the one he had with Gabi. They were very different shifters. She was from a wealthy family in Argentina, not from Mexico. He was from the Rez. That was part of the attraction. And he spent a good part of his time trying to please her. He felt like he had to. They never had the kind of partnership you have with him. Look, I loved Gabi. She was my best friend. But he never would have given her his mother’s ring. Not in a million years.”
Ana suddenly smiled and then felt bad, so she tried to stop herself.
“That’s okay, you can smile. That male is totally insane for you. I’ve never seen him so happy. Now, do me a favor. Stop down and see Helen, and get an exam today, okay?”
“I will. I promise.”
Adriana looked around and lowered her voice. “Speaking of Helen, is she a freaking goddess or is it the post-partum crap talking?”
Ana laughed. “She totally is. That head of hair should be against the law. And her lips are like—you know that chick from the Maybelline commercials?”
“I know. Don’t even get me started on her body. Oh, my God, Ana. You know what? I know it doesn’t work this way, but how much you wanna bet she ends up mated to one of the brothers? Don’t ask me how she made it to thirty unmated, looking like that, but here? Surrounded by all these males?”
“Wouldn’t surprise me. Actually, I guess I’d better stop in and see her now. Thanks, Adriana. I’ll be back later.”
“You’re welcome sweetie.”
Then the female reached over and put her arm around her in half an embrace. It gave Ana a warm feeling inside she wasn’t quite used to.
But she was getting there.
“Oh!” Diesel yelled as he watched Pax barely catch a piece of popcorn in his mouth, and only by diving sideways and landing in an arm chair. He hit it so hard he almost broke the damn thing. What had started out as a perfectly innocent movie marathon had gone downhill very quickly. At this point, they weren’t even paying attention to the flick.
Diesel turned to Helen who was lying on the bed holding onto her stomach. She was laughing so hard she couldn’t sit up. He cracked up all over again.
“Alright, I’m out before we get any more depraved. I need some serious sleep.”
“G’night, Pax,” Helen said through giggles. “Oh, my God. I am so tired. I don’t remember getting this slap-happy at the hospital.”
“We aren’t exactly great influences.”
Diesel grabbed another beer for each of them out of the mini fridge and they both attempted to get back into viewing mode.
“You know, Diesel, you’re really good at assisting me. Did you have any other medical training, other than the army?”
“Nope. But you’re forced to learn fast in the field. Actually, I hadn’t really planned on being a medic. I always kinda’ had my heart set on flying.”
She sipped her beer. “Really? What changed your mind?”
“One of my buddies was telling us about how his younger brother had just been shipped home from Iraq with just unbelievable wounds. And I remember, he told us that’s where you find the guys with the most stones. The medics. They’re the biggest targets in the field and the shit they deal with is insane. They change jobs a lot from the stress. He laughed and said none of us pussies could handle it. And then I remember he said, ‘Actually, Diesel, you’d make a great medic.’ So, here I am.”
Suddenly, Helen reached up and rubbed his scruffy face. “Don’t you ever shave?”
“You ask a shitload of questions, you know that?”
She smiled. “Yeah, sorry. I’m the nosy type.”
“I shave every day, but I use the clippers to maintain it at this length. I think I’m still rebelling against the whole army thing. Same with the hair.”
As they finished their beers, they hunkered back down on the bed to watch more of their marathon, but Diesel could feel himself fading fast.
…They were out on patrol with three other vehicles. The Humvee slowly moved forward through the night as their driver carefully kept a good distance behind the vehicle ahead of them. Seconds later, a powerful blast ripped through their Humvee. He lay helplessly on the ground in his gear.
What the hell?
He’d been thrown out.
Had he used the combat lock on the door?
He couldn’t remember. The vehicle was on fire
,
the flames lighting up the night and igniting the Humvee’s ammunition, setting it off all around him. Where the fuck was everyone? Oh, God, he was the only one who’d made it out! He tried to get closer to the mangled vehicle, but the heat of the fire made it impossible. But he had to—Will was still in there. He needed his help. Suddenly, there were arms at his shoulders pulling him toward a nearby ditch. It was the driver from the truck in front of theirs. All he could do was scream his buddy’s name, the sounds of Apache attack helicopters above them drowning out his voice.
Diesel sat straight up in bed, covered in sweat, his chest heaving. He looked over next to him. Helen lay sound asleep on her stomach. He quietly got off the bed and walked into the bathroom. He shut the door partway and turned on the light. As he looked at his reflection in the mirror, haunted pale green eyes stared back.
Son of a bitch.
He turned on the sink and threw cold water on his face.
He hadn’t slept in so long, he’d lost track. When he did, the same nightmare always came back to him, forcing him to relive that night, over and over. He didn’t know which was worse, the exhaustion that was slowly turning his waking life into a zombie’s existence, or the dream that gave him the shakes even while he was awake.
“Diesel? Are you okay?”
Fuck.
“Yeah, Doc, I’m fine. Listen, Pax just texted. He wants me to meet him out for a bit.” Lies. Always lies. He was just so tired. So afraid they would find out who he really was. A coward. A male not worthy of the Order. A male not worthy of anything. “I won’t be long. Couple of hours. Is that okay? You can crash here.”
“No worries. I should get up and check on Adriana anyway. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Diesel waited until he heard the door to his room close. He walked out of the bathroom and hit a number on his speed dial. “Pax, it’s me. I gotta get outta here.”
Reyn rubbed his eyes and sipped his morning coffee. He stared down at the civilian reports on his desk and tried to find some pattern to them. Victrixa was so goddamn slippery. She obviously wanted those
naguals
, but he was damned if he could figure out how she was sending her
hellions
and shifter soldiers out in the field to get them.
He looked up as he heard boots on the hardwood. “Hey, Diesel. What’s up?”
“I just wanted to stop in and volunteer to work the duty you were planning on taking for Ana and SE.”
“I don’t know. That’s a lot. Are you sure you’re up for it? There’s a reason I was planning on taking it myself. You guys need to stay rested to be effective.”
Diesel shrugged his shoulders. “I’ll be fine. Besides, it’ll help you out, now that Richard won’t be here as much to work on the bureaucratic crap with you.”
Reyn hesitated to agree, but he had to assume the brother knew his own capabilities. And he was ex-military, so he was more in tune with that kind of shit than most. “Okay. If you want to try it, then let’s give it a whirl. But keep me posted on how it’s going, you get me?”
“No problem.”
SE walked down the compound’s stark white corridor and turned in to the gym. He threw his coffee cup in the trash and started on a bottle of water. As he headed toward the workout room, he could already hear the familiar clacking of another treadmill. Looks like he wasn’t the only one getting an early start. He turned the corner and almost dropped his water bottle when his female came into view.
Perfect.
His mate was in a tank top and tiny running shorts. Like that was conducive to a decent workout.
“How the hell are you down here this early? Easy duty last night?”
Ana shook her head as she ran. “Not particularly.”
Jesus, he was getting old.
His mate held out her hand and his water bottle appeared in her palm. She slowed her pace to a walk, took a swig, and then held it out to him. “Sorry. Forgot mine.”
“Did you have any issues last night?” It was out of his mouth before he even thought about it. Goddamn protective instinct. He rolled his eyes.
What a douche.
“It was duty, SE. I had about nine or ten issues. They’re all dead now though.”
He hopped on a treadmill to warm up. “Sorry,
ihkweea
.”
She shrugged. “It’s fine. This duty thing is gonna take some getting used to.”
He moved into a light run. “I don’t seem to recall you flipping out when I’ve been on duty.”
“Yeah, but I hadn’t been through my second transition yet. You’re not scheduled for twelve hours and I’m already nervous, believe me.”
SE watched as his mate jumped up to the New Breed height, pull-up bar and started a round of chin-ups.
“You know, you can lower that.”
“Bite me,” she said as her chin rose above the bar. “Hey, didn’t someone tell me you blew out one of those treadmills a few weeks ago?”
“Maybe.”
“Huh. I didn’t even know that was possible. Wonder what you were thinking about.”
In one swift motion, SE was off the treadmill and reaching up to take his female off the bar. She slid down into his arms, took his face in her hands, and kissed him. Hard.
He carried her out into the gym.
“SE, where are we going?” she hissed. “No, not in here.”
Whatever.
After that hiss from her
nagual
, she was lucky they even made it out of the workout room. He kicked the door to one of the extra offices closed behind them and laid his mate out on the desk. He leaned back and locked the door as an afterthought.
Ana giggled.
His mouth found her neck. “Now, what were you saying about what I was thinking?”
She found the tie on his shorts and wrenched them down. He was inside her before they even got the rest of their clothes off.
Not that he cared.
Xavier rolled over and listened. Who the fuck was knocking on the door? Jesus Christ. Nobody ever came down here and bugged him unless he was asleep. Typical bullshit. Wait a second. Was that his door? No. It was coming from the office next door. Sounded like someone was banging the shit out of the furniture. He smiled and rubbed his goatee. Furniture sure as hell didn’t sound like that when it was being hit.
Ah, the newly mated.
X looked over at the clock.
Fuck.
He was supposed to meet Troy in forty-five minutes anyway. Besides, sounded like they were headed for a bonus round. Maybe the shower would drown them out.
Half an hour later, he was dressed and on his way up to grab a bagel and coffee before gleaming to the Boston Public Library. Strictly speaking, you weren’t supposed to have food in there except in the café, but whatever. He materialized in the back of the Social Sciences section and walked under the clock archway. Man, his boy was gonna have a major problem on his hands if he showed up late. He picked up on the brother as he came in the front door of the building, one floor down. X leaned against a table and popped the rest of his bagel into his mouth.
Troy approached him, hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans. “Hey, bro.”
“You are so lucky you’re on time, you dig?”
“I know. I wasn’t gonna leave ya hangin’. It’s not like I don’t get you’re doin’ me a favah.”
When the brother dropped the ‘r’ in favor, X just smiled. The only reason he’d wanted to leave Brooklyn to come to Boston was to attend MIT. Period. That was thirteen years ago. He was the last shifter on the planet he would have suspected to become a permanent Boston transplant. He was thirty when he went through his transition, and he was still living there when it hit.
“Do we need to go over how completely stupid this whole thing is again? If you were a shifter civilian, it’d still be dumb. But a human, Troy? You’re a New Breed.”
“Look, I get you think this whole thing is mental. We’ve been through this a hundred times. I just want to make sure she’s okay.”
X started to follow Troy out of the library. “I get it, Romeo. You’re in love with her. But this won’t end well. At some point, she’s gonna settle down. Dig?”
“Then she’ll have somebody else watching out for her. Right now, she doesn’t.”
“You really think you’re gonna feel that way about it?”
Troy lit a cig as he walked. “I have no idea, but I’m bankin’ on it.”
“Alright. Let’s just get this done. How much cash do you need?”
“I’ve got five grand. I just need you to spot me the other half for a couple weeks.”
“It’s a good thing Dimitri gives us cash.” He glanced at his boy’s cig. “Although, quittin’ those things would help fund your little hobby, too.”
“Fuck you. Listen, thanks for doin’ this, X. I know you don’t exactly approve.”
X barked a laugh. “It’s not your work with the youth center I have the problem with. It’s the reason. And that’s only because I don’t want to see you get hurt. Or her.”
“Her? How’s Evy gonna get hurt by this? You know I would never do anything to put her in danger. Ever.”
“Not on purpose. But, dude, things are different now. You’ve already seen what happened with Helen. Don’t keep pushing your luck.”
X startled himself by stopping dead on the sidewalk. He didn’t usually ride Troy’s ass about Evelyn. He knew better by now. But things really had changed. They’d seen it for themselves. Associating with shifters and humans outside the Order could lead to a shitstorm of nasty consequences. For everyone.
Troy stopped in front of him and looked him in the eye. “I want you to know, I hear what you’re sayin’. But she and I have no direct contact, and all the money donated to the center is in cash. You and I and Chris are the only ones who even know about it. There’s no trail. Trust me. That’s why I’m doin’ this the way I am.”
“I know that’s what you’re telling yourself, bro, but that’s not the part that worries me. You’re still spending time around her. Even if it’s without her knowledge, what happens if someone else finds out?”
Troy started moving forward again and X took up an easy stride next to him. “Like who? Them?”
“Who else?”
He ran his hand through his light brown hair. “Jesus, X, I’m not even in public when I’m around her. Now you’re worryin’ too much.”
Xavier looked across at the Old South Church. If he were the praying kind, he would have said one right then. But he had the uneasy feeling his boy was going to need more than a Hail Mary before this was over.
“Are you too cold on the desk?”
Ana laughed. The only light in the room came from the gold reflection of their eyes. “I’m not on the desk, my male. I’m on you. You’re on the desk.”
“Good point. Here, put my T-shirt on anyway.”
She slid on his huge shirt and then lay back down along his body, chest to chest. She let her long legs intertwine with his. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“Do you want to be Maya’s legal guardians in case something happens to Richard and Adriana?”
“Do you?”
She shook her head. “I asked you first.”
“The decision is really up to them. I would never deny them something like that, as long as you’re okay with it.”
“I’m fine with it, but…” She took her hands and laid them on the sides of her male’s face. “What happened with Cesar is not your fault, SE.”
He took her hands from his face and held them in one of his. “You’re sweet to say that,
ihkweea
. And so are they. But I’m the one who did it, and that makes it my fault.”
“When someone is depressed, do you say it’s that person’s fault? Because you were, SE.”
“There’s no way you could possibly know that
—
”
“I was there, remember?”
“You were just a kid. You were ten years old. How could you?”
Ana got up, pulled on her shorts, and gleamed upstairs. SE was ten seconds behind her.
“You don’t remember it, because you weren’t well. Don’t you think you tried to be okay? Every day you spent time with him, no matter how much it drained you. I saw it. We all did. After a while, you just couldn’t do it anymore. You were so depressed you couldn’t get out of bed, much less take care of a child. They didn’t want to tell you not to go flying. It was the only relief you had.”
SE shook his head. “How could you remember all this?”
“I was a spy, SE. I was trained to see and hear everything.
Everything.
”
He sat down on the edge of the bed and his eyes took on a faraway look. “After a while I…I don’t know, it just got harder and harder to phase back. I remember I used to come back in the morning after flying all night and land on the windowsill. There’d be these flowers, sometimes white, sometimes pink. They’d be there waiting, every day.”
“Plumeria.”
“What?”
“They were from the plumeria trees. Adriana had them in her garden. They were my favorites.”
“
Ihkweea,
you? But, why?”
Ana walked over and kneeled in front of him. “Because you were sick, SE. And that’s what you do when someone’s sick. I was just a kid, but I knew that much.” She put her hand on his cheek. “You have to forgive yourself, my male. You have to let it go.”
He crumpled forward into her arms and cried. As she held her mate while he wept, she suddenly understood that only together were they strong enough to leave their pasts behind. She would need him, too, when it came time to rip her mother from the world forever.
Helen paced back and forth in her room. God, she felt like she was going insane. It wasn’t just that she felt so damned cooped up in the mansion, although she did. Everyone was making a tremendous effort to help her feel at home—Diesel especially, but the females, too. Adriana and Ana had invited her upstairs to lunch that afternoon, in fact. Of course she missed surgery, the hustle and bustle of the hospital, her…life. It was like her whole identity had been taken away from her after so many years. But there was something else brewing in her head that wanted to come out. She just couldn’t seem to get ahold of it. It was driving her nuts.
The lights flickered and she smiled. Richard was working with James again. What a remarkable kid. Thank God Ana had found him when she had or he surely would have been given the serum. The serum…
“That’s it!” she said to the walls.
She flew out of her room, ran two doors down the compound hallway and stopped at Diesel’s door. It was slightly ajar. As she stood there, she heard an acoustic guitar being played. Then she heard Diesel begin to sing in such a crisp tone, it totally took her aback. She put her hand on the door, nudged it a little, and poked her head in. What was he singing about?
Something to do with panic or paranoia? My God, he could sing.
The music stopped abruptly and startled her out of her own head. “Oh, Diesel, I’m sorry. The door was open and…” she fumbled. “You play really well.”
He chuckled. “If you can call it that. What’s up, Doc?”
“Okay. This may sound totally crazy. I have no idea if I can pull this off. I mean, we may not even be able to get what I’d need to do it. If this is ridiculous, promise you’ll just tell me.”
Diesel pivoted the desk chair and sat down on it backward. “I promise to tell you if you’re losing your mind. Sit down before you fall down, Doc.”
Helen sat down on the bed across from the male. She took a deep breath and let it out. “I want to start work on a cure for the mutant serum. What if it’s possible to make these kids well, to give them their lives back?”
She could practically see the wheels turning in Diesel’s head, but was he thinking about the viability of her idea or the state of her mental health?
“It’s a fucking awesome idea. Hey, you’ll never believe this. I think we have a sample of the actual serum and the scientist’s notes that were used to create it.”
Helen’s heart started to pound. “What?”
“Yeah, the guy’s actually the father of the shifter who brought about the Transition last December. That’s gotta be useful, right?”
“Useful? That’s incredible, Diesel!” The energy surging through her was something she hadn’t felt since she’d been away from her work. “Oh, God, but the cost of setting up a lab.”