He grasped her hips and lifted his, but she refused to let him take over. Earlier she’d felt both fettered by the unrelenting passion his touch unleashed and freed by a soaring delight that her feelings for him made true and brilliant. In his arms her problems faded, insignificant beside that star driven moment.
She wanted to give him that—intense, blinding ecstasy and love—she had nothing else to offer. She must keep her heart whole for her daughter’s sake. Tam caught his gaze, wanting to show her love for him. The love she could never speak for fear of losing everything that mattered—even love itself.
“Let me,” She placed her fingers on his lips.
His hands lifted from her hips to cup her breasts. Then she descended and rose, descending and rising, again and again and yet again, until the final worry fled and the world narrowed to the feel of him sliding within her heated core.
He lay silent, obedient to her wishes, soaking in all she gave and more. He had no idea what he took from her in those selfless moments of loving. Caught in that instant, she couldn’t tell him he’d stolen her heart.
His hips stiffened. His fingers tightened on her breasts. His breathing labored, telling her he neared the edge. She leaned forward, kissing his lips and plunging her tongue into his mouth. His restraint broke. He thrust, deep and solid, shoving them both over the precipice to infinite swirling pleasure.
She collapsed against his chest. Had she been capable, she would have wept for pleasure and for grief. Distantly aware of Con pulling blankets over them, she slept.
Hours later, they woke and made long, slow, gentle love to one another within the cocoon of blankets, but morning came too soon. Tam woke alone. She looked around the shack, but her clothes, boots included, had disappeared. Con’s missing clothes she could understand. He was probably wearing them. But why take hers? Did he think that such a medieval tactic would make her stay?
She stretched before braving the cold air, and her foot encountered something hard. Burrowing beneath the blankets, she found the object and pulled it out of the blankets with her. Her boot. But what was it… Oh. Con, that lovely, thoughtful man, had put her boots and clothes inside the blankets with her, so they would be warm when she woke and dressed. She could almost forgive him for his insane behavior yesterday. Who was she kidding? She’d forgiven him before she found him in trouble, or she wouldn’t have made love with him. Would he forgive her when he finally learned the truth? She would tell him about Susa, without question. First she had to figure out how.
Quickly, she burrowed under the blankets again, dressing within their scanty warmth. Finally, she stood. The air was still cold, but thanks to Con’s thoughtfulness, the temperature was tolerable, especially once she put on her coat, hat, and gloves.
She headed to the door to locate Con when the door opened and he swung through. Bracing himself on the crutches, he looped his arms around her shoulders. “I found a power switch while I was outside taking care of, er, business. The phone should work now. We’ll be rescued within the hour.”
“Hmm.” She stretched up and smacked a kiss on his lips. “Then, I’d better take care of business too. I don’t think I can wait an hour.”
She ducked around him and dashed outside.
Con hesitated to have anyone intrude on his time with Tam, but his ankle needed attention, and they really couldn’t spend an eternity—no matter how often they made love—in this freezing cold shack. So he moved to the phone and picked up the handset, gratified to hear a dial tone.
Minutes later, Buddswell answered the phone with the booming voice of command. “Con!”
“Hi, Mike. Could you send the tram car up the mountain? Tamsin and I got left behind yesterday.” As he spoke the words that would place the world and reality between him and Tam, Con’s doubts re-surfaced. Making love with her gave him hope, but she hadn’t promised anything. In all fairness, neither had he. How could he when she limited them to one night. He wanted more, but he refused to hurt Tam to get it.
“If this is a joke, it’s not very funny.”
Con rolled his eyes. “This is not a joke. We’re cold and hungry and frankly expected better attention from a first class resort like Buddswell’s Rock Candy Mountain.”
“And you’ll get it. Hold on.”
Con waited.
“The tram should be on its way now. Where are you exactly, and why didn’t you call last night? We would have gotten you then.”
Con positioned himself near a window where he could see the approaching tram car. “We’re in the tram terminal shack. We tried to break into the restaurant complex, but it was locked tight. Couldn’t even break a window.”
“Nice to know my security measures worked.”
“We didn’t call because the power was off in the terminal shack. I twisted my ankle. By the time we got back here, it was too dark to go looking for anything like a power switch or a circuit breaker. I found it a few minutes ago, then called for help. I didn’t expect to get you.”
“My tram services supervisor couldn’t believe anyone had been left behind and referred your call to security. I’m notified immediately of all security issues, and since the call supposedly came from you, I wanted to handle this personally, especially since a lady’s involved. By the way, Tamsin’s first class and completely stuck on you. I did everything I knew how to seduce her. She wasn’t having it. She told me off in no uncertain terms but managed to leave as a friend. I envy you.”
Mike’s confession was gratifying, but Con was less certain that Tam was
stuck on him
. She was pretty clear last night that she wanted nothing permanent. His shoulders slumped and unaccustomed confusion tore at him. She said one thing, then made such sweet love with him he had to wonder if she really meant what she said. He’d have to sort it out later, after they dealt with the practicalities.
“I appreciate your discretion, Mike. I see the tram on its way now, and Tam just walked back in. I need to update her.”
“We’ll have a medical team standing by to check out your ankle. Any other injuries I should be aware of?”
Con glanced at Tam busy folding blankets and stowing flashlights.
Only my wounded heart
. “No, but you should have your staff restock the supply closet up here. We drained the batteries on several flashlights, used all the blankets and consumed several bottles of water as well as a number of protein bars.”
“Good enough. I’ll see you at the resort side terminal soon.”
He hung up the handset and watched Tam stow the last of the used supplies back in the locker. Her hair was a mess, her clothing rumpled, and her make-up a lot less than perfect. She was beyond beautiful. Why couldn’t she see the benefits of marriage, of being life partners?
After last night, he was more determined than ever not to let her slip away again. Short of chains and handcuffs, he had no means of forcing her to stay. He could say he loved her, and he did love her. But he’d loved her when they lived together, and it hadn’t been enough. He needed to be certain he understood the reasons for her silence, needed to show her he wanted to understand. Maybe then they could work out their problems.
Chapter Nine
“Why did you stay away?” Con rested against the shack’s inner wall waiting for the tram to arrive, waiting for his chance with Tamsin to end.
The quiet question startled her like a gunshot. She closed the supply closet doors, turned and leaned back against them for support.
“We went over this already. I had a long illness. When I discovered that engagement announcement I was certain you didn’t care, so why go back?”
“That doesn’t add up for me. You were never a coward. I can’t help thinking that, barring some other problem, you would have found a way to fight for what you wanted. Perhaps you didn’t want me.”
What could she say?
I loved you too much, and that scared me. I was afraid of becoming my mother. I was afraid I might love you so much the rest of me would fade away and die. Then I got pregnant and sick. I nearly died while a woman you trusted too much destroyed our trust in each other. Then too, we’d never talked about children, and still being afraid of my feelings for you, I decided you would be the same kind of father as my dad. I refused to allow my child to suffer a father’s neglect as I did? Yeah, that will go over real well, and knowing Con’s territorial tendencies, he’d want to be a large part of Susa’s life. Or worse, he’d sue for custody and win because his resources are greater than mine.
“I can’t tell you.”
“Can’t or won’t.”
His quietly sharp tone clawed at her heart. Something like sadness shone in his eyes. Surely that was a trick of the light. Con would never reveal such a weakness.
Noise from the arriving tram intruded.
She shrugged. “Does it matter? Either way, I’m done talking about a past that’s dead and gone.”
But it isn’t. Last night proved it. She loved Con but didn’t dare stay with him, which made her love a living, breathing wound that would never heal
The tram slid into place and the doors opened. “All aboard!” called the man sent to escort them.
“This conversation isn’t over.” With the aid of his crutches Con maneuvered into the car and sat at the far end.
Tam followed without protest. Why bother? She’d said all she intended to say. Choosing to stand, she braced herself against one of the floor to ceiling poles spaced throughout the vehicle.
****
Buddswell hadn’t been kidding when he said a medical team would be waiting. Before Tam could say goodbye, Con was placed on a gurney and whisked away to the resort’s on-site infirmary. Mike was at the terminal to apologize in person and escorted her back to the suite.
“You’re certain I can’t do anything to make up for this?” He stood in the doorway looking sad and repentant.
Tam shook her head. “It could have happened to anyone.”
Mike frowned. “It shouldn’t have happened at all. My staff is meeting this afternoon to establish procedures to ensure that no one ever gets left behind.”
“That’s all I would ask.”
“Surely there’s something?”
“Honestly, Mike. I need privacy most. I have some personal calls to make, and I desperately need a shower.”
His expression brightened. “I know. How about an in-room massage and spa treatment? The full works, on the house.”
Shaking her head again, she waved him toward the hallway. “No. Thank you very much, but no.”
He yielded and stepped back into the corridor. “Fine, but whether you want it or not, I’m picking up the tab for your expenses and Con’s. Anything you want, you just call the front desk and tell them your name. You’ll get service on the spot.”
“Thank you.” Tam shut the door and slumped against the wood surface. Mike was obviously determined to make unnecessary gestures, so who was she to deny him the privilege? She wasn’t staying. She walked to the closet, pulled out her suitcase, and started to pack. Con would be finished at the infirmary soon, so she didn’t have much time.
Packing completed, she stopped to write him a short note, then made one last sweep of the suite to check for missed belongings. That was when she noticed the blinking message light on the phone. How had she failed to see that? She’d check the message, then call home to let her aunt know to expect her early.
The message turned out to be a voice mail from home. “Mommy, I’m calling to say goodnight.” Susa’s recorded voice wobbled from the speaker. “Aunt Sarah says you prob’ly got delayed in a meeting, and I shouldn’t worry. But I can’t help it. You always call, no matter what you’re doing. I made Aunt Sarah promise to wake me up if you call late. I miss you, Mommy. I’m gonna go say my prayers now. Love you. G’night. Here’s Aunt Sarah.”
Her aunt’s voice took over. “Tamsin, I’m sorry Susa’s so upset. Every child goes through something like this when growing up. You’ll come home, and Susa will know that missing a phone call doesn’t mean you don’t love her. Don’t worry, she’ll be fine. Love you. Talk to you later.”
Tears welled and guilt clutched at Tam as she deleted the message. Through most of last night, she hadn’t spared a thought for her aunt or Susa. Too caught up making love to Con, she’d neglected her family—all the more reason to leave before she could do something truly foolish…like changing her mind. Yes, she’d give up any chance of securing a distribution contract with Buddswell. She’d miss the extra money, but TLC Distribution was doing okay. She and her family wouldn’t starve, but they could have used a cushion against emergencies. She dialed her home number and got the voice mail, then left a message telling her aunt when to expect her. Next she called the front desk to request early check out. The clerk told her that she had no balance owed. They were sorry to hear she was going and wished her a safe journey. Moments later she was in the elevator headed for the parking garage and her car.
****
Wearing a brace designed to keep weight off his ankle, Con hobbled down the corridor to the suite. He’d been away from Tam for a scant hour. Through every ageless minute, an uncomfortable mix of anxious anticipation and empty longing churned in his gut.
He walked into their suite, calling her name. “Tam.”
No one answered. Could she have gone down to the conference already? She was as tired as he. Perhaps she was sleeping. He moved into her bedroom. She wasn’t there. The space felt cold and empty. Anxiety rose like bile. In the bathroom, one glance told him all her cosmetics were gone. He didn’t bother looking for her clothes or chastising himself for failing to notice that her laptop and papers no longer decorated the desk. The only item she’d left was an envelope with his name scrawled across the blank surface. He didn’t have to read the note to know what it said. He pocketed the envelope for later reading, punched the speaker button on the room phone and dialed the front desk. “This is Connor O’Neal. How long ago did Ms. Tamsin Carter Donal check out?”
“She called down to the desk about fifteen minutes ago. We told her Mr. Buddswell took care of her invoices and there was no charge.”