“And you still don’t,” said Arabella. “This conversation has not taken place.”
The sky was turning lavender now, and a couple of bats flittered across what promised to be a magnificent summer evening.
“Bunny,” said Arabella, “how would you like to sleep in the pergola tonight, and watch the moonrise from the moon window?”
“That sounds heavenly,” Belinda replied. “Pun very much intended! But I shouldn’t like to be inconsiderate of the servants. It will take hours to set up beds for us in the dark.”
“Yes,” said Arabella. “I suppose you’re right. That’s why I took the precaution of ordering the pergola beds this morning. . . ”
Belinda gave a squeal of delight.
“. . . And seeing that we are already in our night things, I suggest we repair to the garden forthwith.”
A short time later, the sisters were snuggled into their cots and gazing, with the dreamy introspection that comes only from still summer nights and too much wine, at the cosmos.
“Wouldn’t it be wonderful to remain awake all night, and watch the stars wink out, one after another, when dawn steals across the heavens?”
“Yes! Let’s do that,” said Belinda.
“Oh, no; I didn’t mean tonight. I have a very busy day tomorrow.”
“Really? Now that you’re assured of your money, I should think you would want to amuse yourself!”
“That is exactly what I intend to do,” said Arabella. “I am having breakfast with Garth. Elliot is coming for dinner in the afternoon and then I’m going out to a late supper with the duke, just like the sphinx.”
Realizing that her sister was indulging in artistic metaphor again, Belinda decided to needle her a little.
“You’re so learned, Bell,” she said. “I never knew that the sphinx had even met those gentlemen.”
Arabella was unperturbed.
“I shall begin my day with the fiery passion of youth, then progress, in the afternoon, to experience and finesse, and finally end with comfort and security,” she said. “Thus, I shall experience all the phases of adult life in a single day!”
“Four legs, two legs, three legs? But, surely . . .”
“I wasn’t being literal, Bunny. Garth is somewhat younger than I, Mr. Elliot is roughly my own age, and the duke is somewhat older. Three generations, more or less; each with its own advantages. That is all I meant.”
“I see,” Belinda said, smiling in the darkness. “The sphinx metaphor doesn’t quite apply, then, does it? Because they’ve
all
got three legs.”
“Yes, indeed!” said Arabella happily. “Especially Garth.”
GLOSSARY
A–E
arsy-varsey:
arse over ears. To tumble backward.
chuffed:
flattered
cove:
a man
crack salesman:
a pimp, or brothel keeper
dolly shop:
pawnbroker’s
F–J
fart catcher:
a footman
four-legged frolic:
sexual intercourse
gasser:
a humorous situation
give the crows a pudding:
to have crows feasting on one’s corpse
gnarler:
a snarling lap dog
goggles:
eyes
hide the bone:
sexual intercourse
K–O
Marshalsea, the:
a private prison, run for profit, containing mostly debtors
mattress jig:
sexual intercourse
moon-eyed hen:
a woman with a squint
morris off:
leave
mort:
a woman
muffin man:
a pimp
nanny house:
a brothel
P–T
peckish:
hungry
pugilist:
boxer
rhino:
money
round heels:
one who is easily tipped over onto her back
row:
fight
shit sack:
a dastardly fellow
sprats:
children
stale:
a prostitute
tinsel weeks:
the first few weeks of a honeymoon
THE CYPRIAN SOCIETY CLUB ROSTER
The twenty-nine members include
:
1.
Almond, Idina—
A small, pointed chin, unruly curls, and enormous eyes. A regular kitten.
2.
Beaumont, Arabella—
You already know her, of course, but what you don’t know is that, since there are so many members by that name,
our
Arabella is going to elect, for club purposes, to be known as “Thetis.”
3.
Beaumont, Belinda
—When she hears that her sister will be taking a more exotic name, Belinda will decide to have one, too. Because two siblings named Thetis and Belinda seems ridiculous. Belinda’s club name will be “Semele.”
4.
Birdwood, Cecily—
Her miniature portraits would never have brought in much income on their own. But people found it thrilling to have their portraits painted, and be able to say, “It was done by a courtesan,” which resulted in a windfall for the artist.
5.
Carnac, Kitty—
Plump, sweet, and delectable. A kind of blond version of Belinda.
6.
Chandler, Rosabel—
A redhead, famous for her eccentric habit of fashioning jewelry out of food.
7.
Cobb, Victorine—
Possessed of such a lovely face that she might have married a sovereign, had she had a fortune to go with it. As it was, her face earned the fortune for her.
8.
Denbigh, Louisa—
She had a most fetching gap between her front teeth. And you know what they say about gap-toothed women.
9.
Desta, Feben—
Style. My God, she had style! This woman not only knew how to dress, but how to set a table, throw a party, drive through town, behave in public when encountering an enemy. Arabella was quite envious of her.
10.
Entwistle, Isabella—
A terrifying, icy blonde, known in some circles as the Viking Princess, Isabella was born without emotions. But this stood her in good stead when it came to negotiating, passing judgments, or dealing with the suddenly dead.
11.
Farrell, Olympia—
A voice like an angel’s, speaking and singing. An accomplished musician, too. She was one of those people who could pick up any instrument and play as though she’d been practicing for years.
12.
Fortescue, Amber—
First cousin to Arabella and Belinda Beaumont.
13.
Fortescue, Claire—
Amber’s sister.
14.
Fortescue, Ivy—
Amber’s other sister.
The Fortescues must be credited with saving their Beaumont cousins from starvation after Charles lost the house, but they are also responsible for Arabella and Belinda’s entry into a life of shame and ignominy. Judge them how you will. (Perhaps it should be mentioned that Ivy cheated Arabella out of the price of her maidenhead, promising her fifty percent and giving her ten pounds when Ivy had actually charged the customer one hundred pounds. But that is all water under the bridge. Probably.
15. Fox, Arabella—
Like her name, red-haired and sly. Also a fabulous storyteller—could keep a roomful of people enthralled for hours.
16. Golder-Green, Amy—
Dressed, acted, rode, shot, fenced, climbed, threw, and ran like a man, but looked, smelt, and tasted exactly like a woman.
17. Grant, Frances—
Wonderfully observant. Wrote for the newspapers under the initials “F.G.”
18. Hearn, Philomela—
Six feet tall, and fond of fancy dress. But like Thetis, she was always recognized, no matter what disguise she attempted.
19. Imbrey, Arabella—
Unbelievable stamina. When not working, she loved best to walk, and was rumored to have trudged the length of Britain four times.
20. Laithwaite, Dido (aka the Clap Trap)—
Her nickname was undeserved. The man who gave it to her—both the nickname, and the reason for it—had also enjoyed the favors of his wife on the same evening. It was actually
she
who had given him the pox. Dido, fortunately, escaped infection. Nevertheless, the nickname followed her everywhere. Eventually, she got used to it.
21. Le Marchand, Marguerite—
A handsome Jewess. Sharp-tongued, shrewd at business, and extremely amusing company.
22. L’Etoille, Alouette—
From Bigasse, France. And the reader can well imagine the jests that were made of
that.
Her Frenchness was suspect. She frequently forgot to have an accent, and didn’t know the meaning of many French words and phrases. She looked French, though.
23. Moon, Fanny—
Sweet-faced, kindhearted, self-effacing, and loyal. If one didn’t know better, one would have taken her for an upstanding, decent young woman.
24. Savory, Pearl—
Tiny—only four feet, eleven inches! Her hair was so long she could sit upon it, although Marguerite observed that if Philomela had Pearl’s hair, it would barely reach her shoulders.
25. Snow, Polonia—
She had the whitest of white skin, with the blackest of black hair, and red lips. Like the fairy-tale princess, without the dwarf entourage.
26. Terhune, Arabella—
A keen legal mind. Had she been a man, she would have given legendary barrister Henry Brougham a run for his money. As things stood, she gave him something quite different.
27. Tilden, May—
A buxom brunette whose large, cowlike eyes had a bovine expression, even when closed. Men obsessed with their own mothers found her fatally attractive.
28. Twist, Calypso
—This was not her real name. It
couldn’t
have been!
29. Worthington, Constance—
Should be familiar enough to readers by now to require no introduction. Besides, were I to give her one, it could not help but be uncomplimentary.
KENSINGTON BOOKS are published by
Kensington Publishing Corp.
119 West 40th Street
New York, NY 10018
Copyright © 2015 by Pamela Christie
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the Publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.
Kensington and the K logo Reg. U.S. Pat. & TM Off.
eISBN-13: 978-0-7582-8645-1
eISBN-10: 0-7582-8645-7
First Kensington Electronic Edition: January 2015
ISBN: 978-0-7582-8644-4
ISBN-10: 0-7582-8644-9
First Kensington Trade Paperback Printing: January 2015
Notes
1
This was not the traditional type of registry in which thoroughbred bloodlines are documented, but a catalogue of London’s most attractive men, complete with measurements and other personal details. Such directories pertaining to the city’s
women
had long been available, but, so far as Arabella knew, there had never before been any kind of book for women about the men by whom they were surrounded. Her compendium, nearly finished now, was all-inclusive, and the making of it had afforded the author great personal satisfaction. She had enjoyed the research, particularly.
2
Whenever this young woman spoke more than a single sentence, her words tended to come tumbling out like storm water from a sewer pipe, heedless of punctuation other than full stops, exclamations, and the occasional question mark. It was a style of speaking that found favor in certain masculine circles, where it was fondly and condescendingly referred to as “women’s chatter.”
3
Both Beaumont sisters disliked indecorous language and, after a few early experiments, had dispensed with it nearly altogether, except when “exceeding vexed,” as Arabella now was. But being broad-minded, they were not offended when to coarse invective others had recourse, of course.
4
The pergola did not have walls, of course, but its two benches were elegantly backed with wooden slats, in Japanese patterns. The bench facing away from the stream had a large, round opening cut into its back, so that persons seated opposite might have a frame from which to view the water.
5
Which, in addition to referring to a family of birds of the order Passeriformes, is another term for courtesans.
6
The silver rhino head had been a gift from Mungo Park, sent to Arabella from the Gambia, during the great explorer’s tragic final trip there. She had owned it for some years, but had just lately had the idea to fashion it into a knocker.
“Why a rhinoceros?” the duke had asked her. “Why not a lion?”
“Because I like rhinos,” Arabella had replied. “Besides, their heads make better door knockers. They are heavy, massive, fairly indestructible, and the longer of the horns is a convenient handle.”
It wasn’t until later that the duke remembered “rhino’s”
other
meaning, and his noble heart had recoiled from the commercial sentiment implicit in such a device. But he was also wise enough to see that Arabella was entitled to have her little joke.
7
One of Aesop’s fables tells of a mouse who cleverly talks a lion out of eating her by appealing to his honor, and hinting that she might one day be able to return the favor. The amused lion takes his paw off her tail and sets her free. Some time later, he finds himself ensnared in a net of ropes so cunningly woven that he is unable to move. The mouse gnaws through the ropes to free her lordly friend, proving, once again, that you should never eat any creature with both the ability to speak your language, and the wit to beg for its life.
8
Her decadent style of living had so corrupted Arabella, that she had fallen into the disreputable habit of occasionally sharing meals with her servants. Forgive her, reader, for she was accustomed to living on her own, and had grown a stranger to propriety.
9
Namely, Sippet and Miss Ferguson. The former had been named after a kind of crouton of roughly the same color as its hide; the latter for a horse-faced governess the sisters had shared as children.