Death Becomes Me (Call Me Grim Book 2) (17 page)

Ruth’s gaze slips to the floor then shoots back up and meets mine.

“All right,” she says. “Kyle said strange things are happening in Carroll Falls. Nightmares. Sleeplessness. Depression. He even thinks his sister might be going crazy.” She touches Nicholas’s temple like she’s trying to remember. “Oh. And I’m not sure what this means exactly, but he said if Aaron doesn’t bring you back, Abaddon promised to make someone into something called a Shadow.” Ruth shrugs Nicholas’s shoulders under my quivering hands. “Whatever a Shadow is.”

“It’s a zombie,” I say, never more certain in my life. “Like the zombies Abaddon had follow you after Sam disappeared.”

“Oh,” she says.

“But who?” I shake her shoulders and the brown eyes clear to hazel as Nicholas winces, then return to brown. “Who’s he making into a Shadow?”

“Kyle didn’t say, exactly. Someone ‘emotionally vulnerable’? A kid, maybe? The zombies were always kids.”

Max. Oh God, Max.

“Anyway, Kyle said he can’t keep doing this anymore,” Ruth continues. “He wants Aaron to go back to Carroll Falls, by any means possible, so he can end it.”

Ruth’s brown eyes flicker like a bad connection on TV. Irritation tightens Nicholas’s lips into a thin line. “Shit. I’m almost out of power. If I don’t leave now, I’ll sleep through my next reaping.”

Nicholas snaps his eyes closed. When he opens them again Ruth’s brown irises have disappeared and Nicholas’s troubled, hazel eyes look back at me.

19

“Ouch.” Nicholas glances down at my talons imbedded in his triceps. “Ease up a bit,” he says, but my fingers won’t loosen. My shoes are glued to the floor and I’m frozen in place.

I want to shake him, force him to make Ruth come back. Then demand she tell me what she meant when she said Abaddon would make someone into a Shadow. When she said it’d be someone who’s emotionally vulnerable.

I was right. All along, I was right. It’s not only Kyle who has to deal with Abaddon’s wrath. The people we love do, too. And they don’t even know what’s going on.

Maybe Aaron can call Max or Haley and warn them. Well, if he doesn’t sleep for a month, that is. But what would calling and warning them do? Ruth said Haley’s going crazy. A phone call won’t stop that.

No. I can’t rely on a phone call to fix this. “I need to go back to Carroll Falls.” I’m only half aware I’ve said it out loud.

“No way.” Aaron says behind me.

Finally, my grip on Nicholas loosens and he sighs with relief. I spin around and find Aaron, pale, slick with sweat, and leaning against the wall like he can’t stand without it. Maybe he can’t. I go to him.

“Feeling better?” Nicholas says, a little too cheerfully as he rubs his arms where I gripped him moments ago.

“It’s a bluff, Libbi,” Aaron says breathlessly, ignoring Nicholas completely.

I shake my head. As much as I want to believe what he says is true, I can’t. Believing him could be the biggest mistake I’ve made in my life.

“Listen.” Aaron grabs me by the shoulders. His grip is weak, but solid enough to make his point. He leans down in my face, forcing me to look him in the eyes. “You saw that little girl. The one Bobby called a Shadow. She was dead. A corpse that Abaddon used like a puppet. Max isn’t dead. And he’s not scheduled to die anytime soon. He’s safe. They’re all safe.”

“We don’t know that.” My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth. “We’re not in Carroll Falls. We don’t have the Carroll Falls Scythe. We don’t have access to the Death Plan.”

“But Max’s soul was bright. Kyle and I looked forward into the Death Plan before we left. Max has lots of time.”

I cross my arms over my chest and shake my head again. I know he means well, but Aaron has been wrong before. I’m not about to risk Max on Aaron’s hunch.

“Maybe you’re wrong. Maybe they don’t need to be dead for him to use them.” I grab his hands and throw them off of my shoulders. They fly down to his sides with more force than I intended and he tips back into the wall. Sometimes I forget how strong I am.

“I’m not wrong about this—” he says as he shakes his hands at his side like he’s shaking off pain. I hope I didn’t hurt him too badly.

“I can’t risk it, Aaron. I can’t have something bad happen to him because of me. I couldn’t live with myself. But I can’t do what you and Kyle want either. I can’t kill either of you.” I turn my back to him and twist the hem of my shirt between my fingers. “So, I’m going back to Carroll Falls. Alone. Maybe I can fix this.”

“I’m not wrong, Libbi. It’s a trap.” Aaron gently touches the small of my back. “He wants you to go back there. He probably tricked Kyle into contacting us. Abaddon doesn’t know where we are now. He doesn’t know we came to Chicago. But if you go back to Carroll Falls, he won’t let you leave. And he won’t allow two Reapers in the same territory. One of you will have to kill the other, or he’ll pick one of you to take over and kill the other himself. And if that happens, I can guarantee it won’t be an easy death.”

“Then I’ll make Kyle kill me.” I try to sound indifferent, but the words catch in my throat and squeak on the way out. I can’t believe I just said that. Do I really mean it?

“But he won’t. You know he won’t.” He stands in front of me and rests his hands on my hips. He takes a deep breath and swallows hard before he says, “Kyle loves you.”

“I know he does.” My cheeks prickle with heat. “That doesn’t mean I can’t be persuasive.”

“I’m going with you.”

“No.” I glance at his hand on my hip and make it glide through me like I’m made of smoke. His empty hand falls. “I move much faster than you now. If we travel together, by the time we get there, it might be too late. If we get there at all.” I shift my weight, wishing I had something better to say, something more optimistic. But I don’t. “Your soul will attract every Reaper in every territory we pass through. If they catch you, they’ll catch me. We’ve been incredibly lucky, so far. I don’t want to press our luck.”

The color drains from Aaron’s cheeks. He runs his hands through his thick hair, pulling the skin at his temples tight for a moment before he lets go.

              “Okay. Okay. You’re right.” His eyes tick back and forth between Nicholas and my determined face. “I
am
a walking Reaper magnet. But that doesn’t change the fact that going back to Carroll Falls is a trap.” He looks down in defeat, then his eyes widen with the surprise of a sudden idea. “I can call them. I can call Haley or Max and warn them, or at least find out what’s going on.”

“Do you think they’ll know or that it will even matter? The only one who will have the slightest idea what’s going on is Kyle.”

“I wouldn’t recommend trying to contact him for a while.” Nicholas pipes up behind us. “He’s probably exhausted his strength relaying his message to Ruth. Scythe traveling to him right now might be dangerous, if not deadly.”

“See?” I point at Nicholas but keep my eyes locked on Aaron. “I have to go back.”

“Don’t.” He reaches for me and I let his fingers curl around my hand. “Please. Just don’t go back.”

“Aaron—” I sigh with frustration. He’s just not getting it. “I can’t let him hurt my family. My friends.”

“They. Are. Fine. He can’t touch them.” He’s close to yelling now, but I know it’s not anger but fear that’s raising his volume.

“We don’t know that,” I say, my soft tone a sharp contrast to his bellow.

“Libbi, listen to me.” He brings his voice back down to my level. “I understand you’re worried. I’m worried too. I really am. But I think if you run headlong into this, it will be a huge mistake.”

“I don’t care.” I start to pull away from him, but he won’t let me go. He holds my hand so tight it would hurt if I wasn’t a Reaper. I almost force him to let me go, but there’s something in his eyes that makes me stop.

“Before you do this,” he says as his hard stare bores into me. “You need to make sure it’s not a bluff. You need to make sure Abaddon can take living people and make them into Shadows. That he’s not just trying to scare you into running blindly into his trap.”

“And how am I supposed to do that, Aaron?” I gesture to the kitchen window. “Walk into a Gateway and yell ‘Hey, Mister Abaddon, sir?’” I wave my hands in front of me like I’m hailing a cab. “‘Would you be so kind as to tell me if you use living people as Shadows? It sure would be helpful to know.’ Because I doubt that would work.”

“No.” He rolls his eyes. “You don’t need to ask Abaddon. There’s someone else you can ask.”

“Who?” I say. Then my jaw goes slack. I think I know who he’s talking about, but I can’t believe he’d even suggest him. “Bobby?”

Aaron nods. If my jaw wasn’t attached to my head, I’d have to pick it up off the floor.

“No way.” I shake my head vehemently.

“You need to know what you’re getting yourself into, Libbi,” he says. “Bobby knows.”

“I don’t care what Bobby knows. He’s a traitor and a scumbag.”

“Yes and yes.” Aaron tilts his head in agreement. “But he’s a traitor who also happens to have a Shadow for a niece, and a scumbag who would know if his niece was dead when Abaddon took her.”

I don’t have a comeback for that. Aaron’s right. And Aaron is also right about something else: it’d be stupid to rush back to Carroll Falls without knowing if it’s worth it. Especially if I have a fairly easy, though vomit-inducing, way to find out.

But there are still a few problems with the plan.

“Suppose I go along with this.” I cross my arms over my chest. “What happens if Bobby turns me in again?”

A smile touches his lips. He knows he’s close to winning this argument. And that’s no small feat, given my stubborn nature. “I don’t know, but it can’t be much worse than if you went straight back to Carroll Falls and turned yourself in.”

“Maybe.” I nod. I’ll give him that. “But how do I get there? I don’t know where Millersville is. It looked like it was in the middle of Nowheresville and you ran so fast I couldn’t see where we were going.”

“Who said you have to physically go there?” Aaron tucks his thumbs in the waistband of his jeans and nods to Nicholas. Nicholas holds up his right hand. The Scythe circling his thumb twinkles in the sunlight spilling through the curtains. I mentally facepalm myself.

“The only problem is, keeping Ruth here for so long drained most of my soul’s power.” Nicholas tucks his hands into his pockets. “It’s just as hard on the soul of the receiver as it is on the traveler. I’m afraid if I lose any more, it might get me closer than I’ve been to death in a very long time. So if you want to use my Scythe, I can’t be a part of it. At all.”

“And how are we supposed to manage that?” I ask. “You can’t take the Scythe off, can you?” I wouldn’t be surprised if he built a contraption that does just that.

“No.” He spins the Scythe around his thumb and gives it a gentle tug. “See? But we can get around that. Sam discovered a long time ago that if you knock me unconscious, you can take complete control of the Scythe.”

“How did Sam—”

Nicholas gives Aaron a pointed glare, then his gaze drops to his hands. “Don’t ask.”

Aaron opens his mouth to say something more, but I interrupt him. “But, I don’t know how,” I protest as panic bubbles in my gut. “I’ve never relaxed someone by myself before. What if I screw up, Nicholas? What if I kill you?”

“You won’t kill me.” Nicholas’s kind eyes meet mine, but it doesn’t help me feel any better. “I’m a Reaper. I can’t die.”

“But I could hurt you.”

“You won’t,” Aaron says. “You relaxed someone once before, you can do it again. I’ll walk you through.”

“But I’ve also never used a Scythe to travel.”

“I have.” Aaron touches the back of my hand. It’s meant to be reassuring, but I almost pull away. “Only once, with Bobby, but I’m a quick learner. I can teach you that, too.”

“I’m not a quick learner, Aaron,” I say, defeated. “I never have been. You should know that by now.”

“That’s not true at all, Libbi. You’re a very quick learner.” He grasps my shoulders and leans down so his eyes are at my level. “Why would you even think that?”

“Have you seen my grades?” I plant my hands on my hips.

“Not everyone is cut out for school learning,” Nicholas says. “Even I did poorly with my tutor, the old witch. Do you think I’m slow?”

“No,” I say.

“Right.” Aaron claps his hands together. “So, it’s settled.”

“Fine,” I say. Everyone has more faith in my abilities than I do, but I guess I have to at least give it a try. What do I have to lose? I mean, other than my best friend, his sister, my brother, or my boyfriend.

20

Aaron’s knees touch mine as he kneels in front of me on the dingy linoleum floor beside Nicholas’s supine body. He leans forward to take my hand and his hair grazes his forehead, framing his face with black waves. Under the curtain of his hair, his deep blue eyes stare into me, and behind those eyes I see fear. It pours from him like poison and courses through me.

Maybe I shouldn’t try this.

“Put me under deep and long, Libbi,” Nicholas speaks up from the floor. “I can’t afford to wake up in the middle.”

“How long?” Aaron asks.

“Two hours, perhaps,” Nicholas replies. “Just to be safe.”

“Two hours? Are you sure?” I look up at Aaron. “Can’t that hurt him?”

“No.” Aaron shakes his head. “I’ve relaxed people for an entire day, if they were in a lot of pain or something, and never had a problem.”

“An entire day? As in a twenty-four-hour entire day?”

My face must be contorted in a comical mask of surprise and disbelief because, despite the heavy feeling in the room, Aaron chortles and then nods.

“With one blow?” I say.

“Yeah.” He shrugs.

“How do you do it?” Curiosity, it seems, is a hard thing for me to control. Plus, knowing how to relax someone for a whole day seems like a valuable skill to learn, even if I don’t intend to use it.

“It’s easy.” Aaron pulls the hand he had covering mine back into his lap.

“Of course, it is.” I give him a little smirk, in spite of my nervousness. Sarcasm is apparently a hard thing to kill in me. “Everything about reaping is easy for you.”

“Close your eyes, Libbi.” He sighs. “I’ll show you.”

I hold back the snarky comments, nod, and close my eyes. Aaron takes my hand and places it on Nicholas’s shoulder.

“I can’t be asleep for an entire day, though,” Nicholas says. “I have souls to collect.”

“I know,” Aaron says to Nicholas. Then his tone changes, gets softer, more teacher-like, and he says, “Now gather your strength into your middle.” He touches my middle briefly, right above my bellybutton, and then his hand falls away. “Concentrate on the clock in your head. Now, make it an alarm clock. When you have that firmly in your mind, set the alarm for two hours from now. The steps are the same, whether you set it for two or twenty-four hours.”

It doesn’t take me long to picture the clock and do what he says. My clock has always been an alarm clock, so that’s one step done from the start. Once I’ve set my psychic alarm clock to two hours from now, I say, “Okay.”

“Now, you do what you normally do when you relax someone.” He says it like it’s the easiest thing in the world. If my eyes were open, I’d roll them at him. “Think about how much you want Nicholas to rest and how you don’t want him to wake up until that specific time. Then let it build. Wait until the pressure of the power gets to be so much you can’t take it anymore and then let it go. Push it out and into him.”

I nod again and focus inward. Once the power swelling in my chest feels like it’s about to crack my ribs, I push it down to the hand resting on Nicholas’s shoulder.

“Relax,” I say. As the tingling warmth gathers in my palm, a jolt of fear zaps through me. What if I do it wrong? What if I hurt him?

The tingling gathers in my palm. And there it stops. I try to push it out, but it’s like a dam has been built between my hand and Nicholas’s shoulder. The feeling dissipates before I can push through the block.

“Ugh.” I pull my hands away. “I lost it.”

“It’s okay, Libbi.” Aaron, the picture of patience. “Try again.”

“You’re sure I won’t hurt him?”

“You won’t, my dear,” Nicholas twists his head enough to meet my eyes. “You’d have to have intention to hurt me, which you don’t possess.”

Okay. I can do this. I’m a Reaper. Even though I swore I’d never knock someone out using the relaxing power, this is different. I can do it.

I rest my hand on Nicholas’s shoulder, close my eyes, and let the power build in my chest again. It swells to the point of pain and I push it out. Down my arm and into his body.

“Relax,” I say.

Nicholas doesn’t move. With all of that power shooting out of me, I expected him to jump or something. But no. I know it worked, though. Each breath has become longer and deeper. His muscles loosen under my hand, and his face slackens with sleep.

I pull back and inspect my palm. I don’t know what I expect to see there. A half empty hypodermic needle, maybe? I don’t know, but it was loads easier to use the relaxing power the second time. I shouldn’t be surprised. It seems that’s how the Reaper powers work. The more I use them, the easier they become.

“You don’t have to say ‘relax’ every time, you know.” Aaron’s chuckle breaks the quiet in the room.

“Yeah?” I glare at him, even as my cheeks flush with heat. “Well, maybe if I’d had proper training, I would know these things.”

He raises his eyebrows. “You would’ve had proper training if you hadn’t been so stubborn and just agreed to kill me. I had no choice but to cut your training short.”

I jut out my chin in defiance. “Well, if you had told me from the beginning you needed me to kill you, I wouldn’t have been so stubborn about it.”

“Really?” His eyes widen in surprise. “You would have killed me?” A shadow of hurt drifts across his face and I wish I could take it back.

“I don’t know. Probably.” I run my hands over my thighs. “I didn’t know you then, Aaron. And I would have done almost anything to save Kyle from his mark. If I knew from the beginning that killing you was part of the deal, I wouldn’t have let myself fall in love—” I stop mid-sentence and shake my head. Shit. I didn’t mean to say that. Did I? I swallow my foot whole and try again. “I wouldn’t have let myself fall for you.”

My heartbeat pounds in my ears. I count each breath while Aaron silently watches me. Emotions flicker across his face too fast for me to read. I wish he’d just say something, already. That’s the closest I’ve come to admitting how I feel about him and he won’t even give me one word?

Instead of speaking, his hand drifts up and he caresses my cheek. Shivers pass through me as his fingertips skim my cheekbone, my jaw, my neck, and twine in my hair. He leans over our touching knees and gently pulls our faces closer, bridging the gap between us. His lips press against mine, so soft, so sweet. I can’t imagine kissing anyone else. Or that anyone else’s kisses would make me feel the way his do—like I’m tilting, flying, dizzy, free.

The last puzzle piece falls into place inside my brain and suddenly I know. I meant what I said. I’ve done more than fall for Aaron Shepherd; I’ve fallen head over heels in love with him.

“Me too,” he says in a short break between kisses, and I half wonder if he read my thoughts. “I’ve wanted to say it for so long, but I didn’t want to move too fast or scare you away.” His mouth is so close to mine the vibrations of his words bounce against my lips. “I love you, Libbi Piper. I love you more than I ever thought possible.” Then he pulls away, just enough that I can see the sincerity on his face. “And every day, I love you more and more. Is that crazy?”

“No.” I grasp the back of his neck and pull him in. Our lips meet. It’s not our first kiss, or even our hundredth, but it’s hard to believe this one kiss could brim with so many emotions. Emotions I didn’t realize were there until right now. They simmer inside of me and overflow. Tears spill onto my cheeks, but I don’t care. I let them fall. He swipes them away with his thumb, but he doesn’t stop kissing me. And I press my mouth closer to his, breathing him in, tasting him. The spell only breaks when an obnoxious snore emanates from Nicholas’s gaping mouth.

“Umm ….” I pull back and tilt my head in Nicholas’s direction. “We should probably do this.”

“Yeah. You’re right.” Aaron sighs and nods. He lets go of my waist and sits up, all business. “Okay. If you want to use his Scythe, you have to touch it.”

“Like this?” I touch the tip of my index finger to the silver ring circling Nicholas’s thumb.

“Sort of.” Aaron takes my hand and lays it over Nicholas’s. “But I think you’ll have a better connection if you hold his hand.”

Nicholas’s hand is a limp slab of boney meat as I lift it off the floor. The ice-cold metal of his Scythe stings against my palm even as light catches in the curve of the ring.

Something shifts deep inside the metal. I jump. Nicholas’s hand slips out of mine and thumps to the floor.

“Abaddon can’t see me with that thing, right?” I shudder and point to the Scythe. “It’s not like that ring in
The Lord of the Rings
, is it?”

“I guess it’s possible, but I highly doubt it.”

“What makes you say that?” I focus on the ring, watching for the shadow inside of it to shift again, but it doesn’t.

“If he could see Reapers traveling, I’m sure Nicholas’s whole operation would be shut down by now, including Nicholas.” He nods toward Nicholas’s hand and the hateful Scythe. “But if you want to talk to Bobby, you’ll have to take the chance and use it.”

“Right,” I say, but my hand refuses to move. It sits in my lap, stubbornly clutching the hem of my tee shirt. The dark, oily shift inside the ring won’t leave my memory and the thought of touching it makes my stomach clench.

“You have to do it, Libbi.” He nudges my hand. “I would if I could, but I can’t.”

“I know, jeez.” I thrust my arm forward and scoop up Nicholas’s Scythe hand. “Tell me what to do.”

“Okay, remember when we connected to the Death Plan that day at Jumpers Bridge? When we saw Jon’s death?” He gently places his hand on my chest, over my heart. “That pull you felt right here?” He taps his fingers and my heart gallops under his palm, but I don’t care if he feels it this time. I want him to know what he does to me.

“I remember.” I close my eyes.

“Do you feel it now?” His voice is low, hypnotic.

A twinge of pain pulses in my chest, dull at first but getting stronger. Throbbing. Pulling.

“Yes,” I say.

“That’s Nicholas’s Scythe. It’s pulling you in.” His hand drops from its place over my heart, leaving the skin there warm. “But today, you’re going to use it to contact Bobby. Now, think of Millersville. Think of the alley where we kissed, the diner where we ate, Bobby’s house, the attic. Is that all in your mind?”

I nod as the pictures circle in my head.

“Now, think of Bobby. Focus on him. The color of his eyes, the way he parts his hair, his annoying voice, those stupid shoes.” Aaron’s voice lilts with disdain with the last two and I sneak a peek at him. His eyes are closed, but his lips curl in disgust. “Can you see him?”

“Hold on a sec.” I snap my eyes closed and focus on Bobby, every bit of him that I can remember, including his two-tone saddle shoes. And suddenly he’s there. It’s like I’m looking at him through the bottom of a glass, but he’s there in front of me. “Yeah. I see him.”

“What’s he doing?”

I pull my focus out a bit. Bobby’s rocking in the chair by the attic window, exactly where he was when we left Millersville months ago. An old cardboard box of pictures sits in his lap, but he’s not digging through them. He’s gazing out the window. The strong scent of mothballs in the attic sneaks into my nostrils and I sneeze.

“Damn mothballs,” I mumble to myself and then tell Aaron, “He’s in the attic looking out the window.”

“Perfect,” Aaron says. “Now, reach for him. Push that feeling out of your chest and toward him. Into him. Become part of him.”

And I do.

Air whirs around me, pummels me, and whistles in my ears. I’m sucked through the twisting vortex that leads to Bobby. At least I remembered to close my eyes this time. If I had left them open I’m sure I’d have puked by now.

The spinning stops and I smack into something. With a heavy grunt, I open my eyes and take in the attic. Sweat instantly drenches my armpits and drips down the middle of my back. Even though it’s well into fall, and there’s an oscillating fan perched on a box in front of me, it still feels like a sauna in here. I forgot how god-awful hot this place is. I don’t know how Bobby can stand it.

“What the—?” Bobby’s voice sounds strange. Maybe because it’s coming from inside of my head. Actually, it’s coming from inside of Bobby’s head, since I’m sharing his body.

“Bobby,” I use his mouth to say. “It’s me, Libbi, Aaron’s apprentice.”

“Ah, Libbi. How could I forget?” Bobby settles back in his rocking chair and crosses his legs. “I guess you got away from Abaddon.” He shrugs. “Sorry about that whole thing, by the way. I’m sure you understand.”

“Yeah, whatever,” I say, trying not to let the little asshat get to me. “Listen—”

“So, you must be a full-fledged Reaper now, if you managed to use a Scythe all by yourself. Good for you.” The sharp memory of pain in his bottom lip where I hit him all of those months ago overwhelms me for a moment. “A little welcome back present,” he says as his mouth curves into a smirk. Something tells me I’m going to want to punch him again before this conversation is over.

“Listen, Bobby. We don’t have a lot of time and I need your help.”

“My help?” He feigns surprise. “What? Did your precious Aaron run off and leave you? Found a prettier model, did he? I’d hate to say I told you so, but…”