Death Ride (Blue Bandits MC Book 5) (19 page)

Death didn’t know what to do to help her come back to him other than talk to her and try to keep her fighting because losing her wasn’t an option. He reached down to lift her hand again, holding it in his as he watched her.

Sarah reached out and laid her hand on his shoulder, her fingers gentle. “I’m going to go find Reaper but if you need us, just send one of the prospects outside to get us. We’ll be here.”

He felt her stand and he nodded but didn’t look away from Jamie’s pale face.

When she was gone he leaned forward and kissed Jamie’s forehead, his eyes starting to sting again as he pulled away.
Damn it, why wasn’t she waking up?
Death felt guilt assault him over leaving her here thinking she’d be safe until he got back. He should have taken her with him because then he would have kept her and the babies safe, unlike her brother. A silent tear slipped down his face and he wiped it away quickly. He thought about their babies and knew that losing them was going to be a hard pill for her to swallow when she did wake up. It was hard for him and he didn’t know if his heart could take the added blow of knowing she would likely hate him when she woke up. She’d lost them in that wreck and it was all his fault for leaving her in the first place.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I wouldn’t have left you here if I’d known your brother was an idiot. You should have told me about the—babies.” His voice cracked when he muttered the last word as he rubbed another tear off his cheek and stiffened his back trying to get his emotions under control.

“Just stay with me because I need you. Just please don’t leave me, Jamie,” he begged.    

He fell asleep with her hand gripped in his and his head resting on her arm because if she moved, he wanted to wake up.

Jamie could hear the sounds of Death and her brother arguing again and it was making her head hurt this morning. Evert was telling Death to let her go and Death was roaring that it wasn’t going to happen and she just wanted them to shut the hell up.

“Shu—shut up,” Jamie managed to croak, and suddenly the room was filled with blissful silence for about fifteen seconds before it exploded again.

“Jamie baby, did you say something?” Death demanded loudly. She almost cringed at the loud question. She could feel someone grabbing her hand in both of theirs and someone else’s hand was rubbing over her forehead brushing her hair to the side. She tried to speak again but her throat was so dry all that came out was an unintelligible moan.

“I don’t fucking believe it! She’s awake,” Evert crowed and then he was grabbing her shoulders to hug her. She tried ineffectively to push him away but all she managed to do was hit his shoulder with her hand.

“Let her go, you moron, and shut the fuck up with that loud shit. She wanted quiet, not more yelling,” Death growled, his hands still gripping hers tightly.

Jamie wanted to kiss him because her head felt like it was going to explode at any second and she just wanted it to stop. If they stopped yelling it wouldn’t be hurting because when they were silent it wasn’t so bad. She peeked out from beneath her lids seeing her brother shoot Death the bird before he kissed her forehead and released her to move towards the door.

“You had us worried, Jam-Jam. Don’t do that again, my heart can’t take it,” her brother said as he headed out the door leaving the room.  Jamie felt a little awkward being alone with Death even though she vaguely remembered him talking to her while she was asleep. Okay, so she remembered him begging her to stay with him and telling her he loved her but she wasn’t sure that wasn’t just him feeling guilty because he’d found out about the babies. Her hands went to her stomach and she felt sadness burst through her. Tears sprang to her eyes as she held her hands there remembering that they were no longer resting there safely.

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Death whispered, his hands having let hers go when they moved to cover her stomach. “We will have other babies.”

Jamie’s eyes jumped to his and she saw the sadness that shadowed his soft look. She didn’t know what that look meant but she felt soothed by it. With her hands still cupping her stomach and Death looking down at her softly like he was, she felt her breath catch inside her and she couldn’t seem to find her voice to respond.

“Please don’t hate me for what happened. If I’d known your brother was an idiot I never would have allowed you to stay here with him,” Death whispered, his voice low and urgent as he spoke to her, his face crumpling in despair as if he thought she would blame him for what happened.

“I don’t hate you. It’s not your fault any more than it’s my brother’s,” Jamie whispered through her dry throat and her hand moved to cover it as she swallowed.

“Damn, sorry, I should have realized you’d be thirsty. Here,” he said, lifting a glass of water to her lips after helping her sit up to drink it. When she’d taken a few long refreshing sips he helped her lay back again, gently rubbing her hair off her face, his hands tender as they rubbed against her skin and Jamie looked up, her eyes meeting his.

“Thanks,” she murmured.

“Anytime,” Death whispered back, still looking down at her with an odd expression of tenderness and pain as he leaned down and kissed her forehead. “I’m so sorry I left you, baby.”

Jamie didn’t answer because a lump had formed in her throat and her heart began to speed up racing inside her chest as she felt the love she had for him burst through her. She couldn’t contain the tears that sprang to her eyes or the need for him that was like a physical ache inside her. Death moved to rest his forehead on hers, his eyes boring into hers as he spoke.

“I’ve loved you from almost the moment I laid eyes on you. I lost someone very dear to me a long time ago and after that I never thought I would feel again until I met you. When you walked into my life that night I had no idea I would never be able to let you go but here we are. I can’t live without you, Jamie. You’re my whole world.” Death kissed the tip of her nose after his little speech and Jamie felt like he’d handed her the key to his heart. She didn’t know what to say. Her mind circled around who he had lost that meant so much to him. Was it another woman? Would she always be his second choice because that woman was dead? Jamie knew wanting to know that was selfish but she loved him so much she had to know.

“Who did you lose?” Jamie asked quietly. Death sighed heavily and closed his eyes and Jamie wondered if he would tell her in the long silence that followed her question.

“My baby sister,” Death said just as softly, his eyes clouded with pain. “Her name was Lily and the Headhunters murdered her when she was sixteen.” Jamie couldn’t help feeling a slight sense of relief that the woman he’d lost was his sister rather than a lover but sadness for his pain also spread through her.

“I’m sorry,” she managed to say as a tear escaped her eye running down her left cheek. It made her realize that Death had a very good reason not to help her brother or trust him. She was actually surprised he’d been able to let go of the prejudice he’d had against their club so easily. Death caught the tear with his tongue and kissed her eyelids.

“It was never your fault so you have nothing to be sorry about.”

“I called you names when you said all Headhunters should be dead and I was very rude.” Jamie felt a little bad about that now as she realized the pain behind that was still deeply rooted inside him.

“You weren’t wrong, babe. It took me falling in love with you to see it but I can’t judge everyone in this club by what a few bad apples did to my sister. Nor can I crucify them for what the bad parts of the club have done. Everything those men did or do is going to make it hard enough for Blade and his men to clean this mess up without adding my anger to the mix. Blade isn’t a monster and neither are the men he’s claimed. He has the right idea making the club back into the once good club it was. The Headhunter name used to mean something and it will again. It’s already starting. We’ve got them on the run now and they’ve already started joining the Jackals by the dozens. War’s coming though and it won’t be pretty or easy.” Death finished his speech with a frown and another kiss to her nose.

Jamie couldn’t help the joy that sung through her at his words because he’d said he was in love with her. She gazed up at him, her heart beating a thousand miles an hour, and she licked her lips before she spoke because she needed a minute to collect her thoughts.

“You love me?” she heard herself ask and wanted to smack her own forehead because she knew that asking that made her sound like a needy idiot.

“Of course I love you, Jamie. Every moment I was away from you was hell but I wanted you to be safe. I couldn’t tell you that I loved you because I knew you would follow me home and I didn’t want anything to happen to you. I couldn’t bear the thought of it.” Death looked ruefully down at her, his hands smoothing over her face as he shook his head and whispered, “Lot of good that did me, huh? You got hurt anyway and I wasn’t here to stop it from happening.”

“You couldn’t have stopped it, Death, even if you’d been here.” Jamie reached up to cup his cheek when she finally managed to catch what was left of the breath he’d stolen with his confession of love.

“The hell I couldn’t have. You never would have left this compound if I’d been here,” Death growled looking seriously pissed off.

“I don’t care how much I love you, Death, I would have gone to that doctor to make sure our ba—babies were safe,” Jamie said, her voice cracking a little as pain burned in her chest at the loss of her babies—no, their babies.

“You would not have left. I would have made the boys bring him to you because I wouldn’t have risked you for any reason, Jamie. I love you and I will protect you even from yourself if necessary,” he grunted, his look firm as he glared at her.

Inches separated them but she could almost feel the anger that burned him up. He was angry that her brother had let her go to Bracken but she knew as well as he did that nothing could stop her if she chose to do something. He was even admitting it. He’d said he knew she’d follow him home if she thought for even a second he loved her back and he wasn’t wrong, she would have. He understood her enough to realize that so how did he think he would have been able to stop her?

“You know that will never work, right?” Jamie said, glaring at him.

“Of course it will work. I won’t accept anything less because I can’t bear to live without you and that means doing whatever it takes to protect you.” Death pressed his forehead against hers again. “Even if it means you hate me.”

Jamie didn’t bother to argue because it was something he’d have to learn on his own. She wasn’t going to be afraid to live her life even after what had happened. She would show him rather than argue about it. To prevent an argument, she just smiled sweetly at him.

“I mean it, Jamie,” Death growled, his eyes narrowing.

“I know,” Jamie replied, a smile on her lips.

“You’re going to be a handful, aren’t you?” Death growled, his face paling slightly as he stared down at her.

“No, why would you ever think that?” Jamie asked innocently and giggled when he groaned and kissed her hard on the lips.

Four days later Jamie was standing up trying to hook her bra without removing her shirt when she heard the door open and turned to look at who’d entered. Death stepped into the room and frowned darkly.

“What are you doing up? You should be in bed,” he muttered. Coming towards her, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.

“I’m not spending another day in that bed. I’ve already been there for a damned week and it’s time I started getting back to normal,” Jamie informed him as her arms wrapped around his neck and she kissed him on the chin.

“You should rest more.” Death was looking down at her with a hard look as he started ushering her towards the bed.

“I am not getting back in that damned bed, Death,” Jamie growled, her glare hot.

“Stop being stubborn,” Death growled, still trying to move her towards the bed. Jamie pushed against his chest and she wasn’t surprised when he cupped her hips and leaned in to kiss her. She titled her head allowing him access before she used the maneuver she’d been taught to toss him down on the bed. Death stared up at her in shock, his elbows pushing into the bed to hold him up as he watched her.

“I’m not allowing you to seduce me back into that bed either, buster. I am not going to be treated like an invalid and I will be getting out of this room today if I have to chain you to the bed to manage it. We both know I’ve done it before,” Jamie growled as she finished hooking her bra and stepped towards the door. Death watched her, a frown on his brow, but he didn’t try to stop her as he got off the bed and followed her.

“Shouldn’t you talk to the doctor about it first? You’ve been in a coma for weeks and you need time to recover,” Death muttered as he shut the door to their room behind them.

“I did. He said it was fine for short trips around the compound as long as I don’t overdo it,” Jamie stated, rolling her eyes when he hovered next to her like a mother hen. “I’m fine.”

“Yeah, I don’t buy it.”

“Jam-Jam,” Lake crowed when he saw her standing in the hall. “You’re looking mighty fine,” he said coming up to hug her and she grinned at him, allowing him to hold her for a moment but suddenly hard arms were jerking her away from the bear hug and Death was letting out a low growling sound.

“Let her go, you idiot,” Death grumbled, pulling her into his chest while his arms curled around her.

“Why?” Lake demanded, glaring back at him.

“Because she doesn’t need to be jerked around, she’s been in a coma, that’s why,” Death growled, anger evident in the tightness of his body against hers. Jamie almost laughed because she had a feeling that Death was a little jealous and that struck her as funny. She’d never expected him to care but it seemed he not only cared, he was actually jealous of Lake, which was ridiculous because he was like her brother.

“I was hugging her, not jerking her around, asshole. You’re the one who jerked her from my arms,” Lake snarled back, his hands fisted at his sides.

“Jeez, what a testosterone-fest it is in here,” Lissa muttered as she walked into the hall staring between Lake and Death, who stood glaring at each other. Jamie couldn’t help the little laugh that escaped her as Lissa took her arm pulling her away from Death.