Debra Webb - In His Touch Box Set (Here To Stay, Up Close, Tempting Trace, Basic Instincts) (7 page)

“Why did you do that?” Paige held her breath. Every particle of her being wanted to believe that it had something to do with her.

“I don’t know. It just didn’t feel right. I couldn’t stop thinking about the way you’d looked at me last night and what you must have thought,” he said softly.

He looked vulnerable, needy. Paige’s nurturing instinct surged. A lifelong bond, though deeply buried, still made her want to protect his feelings. She could see the confused little boy in his dark eyes. The one she had grown to love so very much.

“I really have to go,” she urged, afraid to say anything else or linger a moment longer for fear she would truly gather him into her arms to comfort the hurt. She didn’t want to feel the strange sensation she felt in the vicinity of her heart right now. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

Nathan nodded and followed her out into the corridor. “I’ll call you tonight,” he told her before walking away.

Paige watched Nathan disappear around the corner toward the stairwell. Why did just being near the man make her ache with need?

Chapter Five

Paige stretched one last time and then dragged herself out of bed. She had turned off the telephone last night to avoid Nathan’s call. She had to think some more before they talked. Lucky for her he hadn’t come pounding on the door in the middle of the night.

Today she needed to be far away from everything and everyone. To think long and hard about the future. Hers and Jesse’s. Paige pulled on a pair of navy blue stirrup pants and matching sweater. With James back today, she didn’t have the barn chores to worry about. Maybe she’d take a long ride and then an even longer walk on the far side of the Weston property.

Hair brushed and riding boots pulled on, Paige bounded down the stairs and into the kitchen. The sound of chatter registered in her brain as she came to a screeching halt just inside the kitchen door. A woman about Paige’s age stood on a stepladder, while another, older woman stood on the floor next to her. A long, damp length of flowery paper hung between them. The large oak table held the sundry items necessary to perform the task of hanging paper, including roll after roll of colorful wallpaper. Wallpaper that had been meticulously coordinated with the paint now gleaming on the kitchen’s wood molding.

“Hi, I’m Jenn,” the older woman said. “And this is Carol. You must be Paige, Robert’s niece.” She beamed a pleasant smile.

“Yes. Good morning,” Paige replied somewhat hesitantly before returning the smile.

“I hope we didn’t wake you. We were scheduled to start at seven. We have a—”

“I know,” Paige interrupted. “You have a key.” This was unreal. People just shouldn’t pass the keys to their house as casually as if they were lending a cup of sugar to a neighbor. Especially when their favorite niece—their only niece—stayed there all alone. Paige intended to have a serious discussion about security with Robert. Just how many keys did the man have, anyway?

“We’ll be through in no time,” Jenn assured her.

“Don’t mind me. I’m on my way out.” She smiled, grabbed a cola from the fridge, then headed out of the house and to the barn. She popped the top and took a long drink. It wasn’t coffee but it was caffeine—and today she needed it.

“Good morning, James,” she called out as she entered the stables. “I’m sure glad you’re back.” She rubbed her still aching back.

“Morning, Paige,” James drawled. He set down his feed buckets, then pushed his hat up on his forehead. “You look like a lady who’s hankering for a ride.”

“Yes, sir.” Paige trashed her cola can and surveyed the stalls. “What about that pretty Appaloosa down there?”

“That’s Ariel and I believe she’d be tickled pink to be your mount today.”

James expertly saddled up Ariel, while Paige visited Windborne’s new foal.

“Gotcha fixed up, little lady,” James announced when he’d tightened the cinch.

Paige thanked James and slipped into the saddle atop Ariel. The squeak of smooth leather brought a smile to her lips. The mare felt good between her thighs. It had been a long time since Paige had ridden. She felt almost giddy sitting astride the powerful animal.

“Making a day of it?” he asked.

“I’ll be back around lunch. I’m going down to the river to check out Robert’s favorite fishing spot.”

“You need a pole and some bait?”

“I don’t want to fish, I just want to relax. See you later.” Paige nudged Ariel, who pranced out of the barn. She headed across the wide, green pasture at a steady pace.

She smiled as she thought of James’s interest in her agenda. James had been with Robert for as long as she could remember. He seemed almost as much like family as Robert himself. He’d never let her go off alone without getting particulars. She supposed James hadn’t noticed that she wasn’t a little girl anymore; thirty was far from being a little girl.

Thirty
. Boy, that sounded old. She thought of Jesse’s age as well. Four years old and an only child. Paige didn’t want to have an only child. Being one herself, she understood the loneliness. If her adolescent dreams had come true, she and Nathan would be married and have four children by now. That had been the plan.

That would never happen now. Paige didn’t resist the regret that washed over her with that thought. Getting right with the loss was necessary. Relaxing, she allowed her body to flow with the horse’s graceful movements. At one time, Nathan had been the most loving, considerate man Paige had ever known. Kind and compassionate. He had helped her to believe that anything was possible. So many dreams. None of which would ever be now. The only thing she could hope for was an amiable relationship with Nathan for the sake of their son.

The wide open space around her called to something deep inside Paige. Her childhood days here had been so different from her life in Memphis. On the ranch, life had been slow and easy, horses and Nathan. In the city, it had been fast and stressful, social functions and her father’s expectations. She didn’t have one memory of a family outing that hadn’t carried some hidden agenda or professional motivation of some sort. Her Uncle Robert had allowed Paige to be a child—free and happy. Robert and Elliott had clashed many times over what was best for Paige. Elliott always won.

As she had grown into an adult, she had felt the tremendous pressure not to let her father down. He wanted so much for her to become just like him—a rich and powerful attorney.
Marry the right man, Paige. Live in the right house in the right neighborhood and have the right children.

Paige rubbed Ariel’s neck as the mare trudged onward. Her life so far had been a huge letdown in her father’s eyes. She had borne an illegitimate half-breed child, become a public defender, and had no husband at all. Paige shook her head sadly. Elliott Weston still loved her, she knew that. He just didn’t want anything to do with the things that mattered to her. And Paige could no longer tolerate his indifference to her career choice and those he considered lesser forms of life, most especially her own son. Though he had tried to strong-arm his way back into her life since her cancer diagnosis and treatment, Paige hadn’t allowed him to take over. She took their fledgling relationship one moment at a time.

She shook off the depressing thoughts and focused on the paradise around her. Everything was green or getting that way as far as the eye could see. Gentle, rolling hills. Budding, leafing trees in the distance. And beyond that, she knew, was the little river that cut across her uncle’s ranch. The one she and Nathan had swam in hundreds of times. The place he had first kissed her when she was sixteen years old. A sweet, tender kiss that demanded nothing more than the meeting of lips.

Paige closed her eyes and summoned the image to mind. Nathan’s arms around her, his lean, young body close to hers, the warmth that flowed between them. His silky black hair shimmering down his back like dark, falling water. Bronze skin that glistened in the sun. It had been at that precise moment that Paige had known without a doubt that she would love Nathan Blackrope for the rest of her life.

How had it come to this?

~*~

Nathan dismounted outside Robert’s barn. He smoothed his palm over Midnight’s neck. Paige was avoiding him. She’d ignored his calls all evening and now she’d taken off bright and early to make sure he didn’t catch her today. Her car was in the drive, and she’d apparently taken a horse.

James looked up when Nathan entered the barn. “Hey, buddy, how’s it going?”

Nathan smiled. “Okay. You’re looking better than the last time I saw you.”

“Feeling better, too,” James said with a hand pressed to his stomach. “That bug about got the best of me.”

“I’m glad you’re back on your feet.” Nathan took his hat off and plowed his fingers through his hair. “Did Paige take a ride?” He tried his level best to sound nonchalant, but even he heard the twinge of emotion in his voice.

“Yep, early this morning.” James peered at his watch. “Should’ve been back by now.”

“Did she say where she planned to go?” A feeling of uneasiness slipped over Nathan.

“Said she planned to ride down to the river, somewhere around Robert’s fishing spot.” James scribbled a note on the feed chart.

“Thanks.” Nathan didn’t waste any time getting back astride Midnight. He headed out across the west pasture in a hard gallop. Paige probably hadn’t ridden in a long time. No telling what kind of trouble she could have gotten herself into.
Damn.
The woman could give a guy an ulcer.

When he neared the river, Nathan slowed his mount to as easy gait. He pushed his Stetson back and squinted towards the trees in the distance. The appaloosa grazed near a thicket of trees. Nathan sighed with relief. He urged the horse forward, staying at a slow trot. When Midnight neared the other horse, he dismounted and dropped the reins. He gave the spotted mare a friendly pat as he walked past her.

The occasional call of a bird and the trickling of water sounded in the otherwise total silence around him. He scanned the river bank for Paige.

“Looking for someone in particular, Blackrope?”

Nathan spun toward her voice. She sat under the shade of an old oak. He ignored the sense of longing that surged through him at the mere sight of her.

“James was worried. He thought maybe you’d gotten yourself lost,” Nathan told her with feigned indifference. He dropped to the ground at her feet and propped his hat on one knee.

“If James was so worried, why didn’t he come looking for me?” she asked, unconvinced.

“Too busy to trifle with city girls who get themselves lost,” he teased. Nathan couldn’t restrain the grin that surfaced.

Paige drew in a long breath and set her pretty blue eyes on his. Nathan held her gaze and prayed he would have the strength not to do something foolish, like taking her in his arms and kissing her again.

“I guess it’s time to talk, huh?” Paige dropped her gaze to the grass. She twisted several blades between her fingers, tearing tiny pieces from the ground.

“Can I go first?” he asked.

“Sure.”

“When did you stop working for your daddy?”

Paige shot him a baleful look. “Couldn’t we start with something simpler?”

Nathan shook his head.

She sighed and twisted the grass a little more. “It took me about six months to realize that I wasn’t cut out for his kind of law.” She looked anywhere but at Nathan. “I wanted to help real people who needed me for more than a tax write-off.”

Nathan smiled. That was the Paige he used to know. “Are you happy now?”

She smiled. “Yes. I love my job. I work with juveniles a lot and I really enjoy making a difference.”

“I’m sure Elliott was a little disappointed.” Nathan watched her reaction closely. They hadn’t been able to have a reasonable conversation regarding her father in more than a decade. This might very well end what could have otherwise been a nice chat.

“At first he pretended it hadn’t happened,” she began. “Then he tried to coerce me into coming back to work for him. Finally we just stopped talking.” A sheen of tears glazed her eyes, regret tinged her voice.

“I’m sorry, Paige. As much as I despise your daddy, I would have never wanted this.” He took the hand she’d been using to torture the grass. He squeezed and allowed her warmth to flow through him. His chest ached at the pain in her eyes. How could Elliott Weston do this to his own daughter? The man was scum.

“Nathan, I never meant to hurt you,” she said quickly. “When Mother died, I couldn’t turn my back on my father. He needed me so much. Maybe for the first time in my life. I couldn’t walk away and you refused to understand.” Paige shook her head. “You were so angry and I felt sure there was nothing left between us—that you didn’t want me anymore after that.” She fell silent for a while, then visibly steeled herself before she spoke again. “When Nalin died, I realized what a mistake I’d made. I—”

“We don’t have to talk about that,” Nathan cut in. He didn’t want to discuss the night his mother died. That night had damaged his heart beyond repair. He had loved Paige so much, consummating that love had ruined him for anyone else. And then she had walked away like it never happened. Nathan forced back the anger that wanted to rise. He didn’t want to hate Paige anymore and he didn’t want her to hate him, either.

“I waited,” Paige went on despite his protests. “Just like I promised you I would.” Her eyes begged him to understand. “I never wanted anyone else. You were—”

Nathan sprang to his feet and turned his back to her. “I don’t want to talk about this.” Pictures, words and memories tumbled into his mind. “I thought you wanted to go from here, not rehash the past.” Nathan tried to still the quaking he felt, but it came from deep inside and he couldn’t prevent it.

“I need you to understand,” Paige insisted. She got to her feet and moved around to face him.

Too close. He didn’t want her so close. He almost took a step back, but her eyes held him still.

“I can’t bear all this bitterness any longer.”

The wind shifted her soft hair over her shoulders, tempting his fingers. Paige hesitantly touched his arm and he shrugged away her touch. Nathan didn’t want her to touch him. Her touch made him feel things he didn’t want to feel and long for something he couldn’t have.