DECEPTION - A Family Affair (27 page)

“Nate, I guess you wouldn’t mind if I have this dance with Marisol?”  He asked at the same time yanking Marisol up to join him.  She followed him to the dance floor where there were five other couples already dancing.  They were playing some slow piano music and Marisol just followed the flow of his feet.  Between the tingle sensations of being held tightly in his arms; the fear of what is about to be spoken and the wine she felt dizzy and overpowered. 

“Please don’t let me fall, I feel the walls spinning a little and I don’t want a lecture either.”  She said into his ear where she wanted to nibble.

He guided his hand to the small of her back and tightened his hold.  “Just hold on to me and you will be alright.  Once the song is over we’ll go out to the balcony and get you some fresh air.”  He said through tight lips.  He brought his head down into her neck to inhale her beautiful scent.  He wasn’t going to allow her to marry Nate; he will do everything in his power that was for damn sure.  She belongs to him and it’s about time she acknowledges it. 

They both danced in silence despite the fact they felt the sexual tension between them.  “How could you plan to marry someone while wanting another so bad that you are probably all wet right now?”  He asked with agitation while he glided his hand along her back.

  “Don’t Marco.  I can’t help the fact I enjoy having mind blowing sex with you.  I do thank you for making me feel a live again.  Awakening my libido when I thought it was dead forever.  I didn’t know it could be that good.  I know I won’t have that with Nate but at least I’ll have the memories of how good it was with you.”  Shaking his head to clear his mind she confused the hell out of him and it was not the response he anticipated.

“What do you mean I awakened you?  Hasn’t there been anyone else?”

She will not allow herself to be ashamed of who she is therefore she answered him truthfully while placing her head on his chest.  “No.  There has never been anyone else of significance.”  Hearing her confession brought a strong emotion that caused him to shudder as he held her even tighter.  He felt more possessive of her than ever before with the knowledge that she was truly his and
only his
all this time even while they were apart.

“Then why are you agreeing to marry him?  You just admitted you are not sexually attracted to him.”  The music stopped and he looked at her trying to seek answers within her eyes.  Her fear between collapsing and straying from her plan sobered her up quickly.  He grabbed her hand and hauled her to follow him out to the balcony.  Finding a dark corner he turned to secure her.  Facing her he waited patiently for her to respond. 

“We love each other and sex isn’t everything in a marriage?” 

“Are you that foolish?  Sex in a marriage is vital.  I’m hearing you but I’m not getting it.”

“There is nothing for you to understand or get as you so put it.  The truth is we are not good for each other.  I want closure from my past I’ve been clinging on to it for far too long.  I want to be liberated from ALL of it. Selling the house and unlocking secrets enables me to finally move forward.  I want to be happy free from pain and the type of love Nate and I share guarantees me that.  I will never be vulnerable again.”

“So what you are saying to me is I’m part of your closure from the past?  You honestly think I would hurt you again?”  His eyes showed the agony he was feeling.

She swallowed the lump in her throat so she can speak.  Her heart was aching for him.  “Since your visit here; it’s been wonderful and you inspired me to make changes in my life that I was too scared to make.  Now it is about me paving the road for myself so I can move on.”

“You can easily cut me out just like that?” 

“We never made promises to each other; let’s see it for what it really was.  Being together all we do is cause each other pain and I don’t want that for you.  You couldn’t even look at me the same once I told you about our baby.  I’m damaged goods and Nate understands that.” 

“Stop saying you are damaged, dammit.  I want us to try. I couldn’t look at you   because I was ashamed for having you face the pregnancy and loss of our baby alone.  It was the guilt and humiliation within me because of ME; that is what you witnessed that day. I know we have a lot to deal with and lost time to make up but I want us to try to make it work.”

Nodding her head no while her eyes glistened from the tears they carried.  “I can’t and please don’t make this any harder than it already is.  I have to go.”  He grabbed her by the arms to stop her.

“Look me in my eyes and tell me you don’t feel for me what I feel for you.  Tell me?”

Holding her breathe she knew the moment had arrived where she had to be strong for him.  She refused to poison him by staying with him, so for his sake she had to lie.  “It was all about the sex Marco nothing more.”  She answered with her poker face. 
It’s for his benefit I’m doing this for
.  She had to keep reminding herself so she can stay on course. 

Anger seeped through his face.  “What Nate isn’t enough man for you to try so you used me?  You had to seek it elsewhere?  Wow the true colors finally come out.”

He pissed her off so bad she blurted without thinking.  “Nate is gay you asshole.” Then the realization of revealing Nate’s secret she covered her mouth with her hands and her eyes filled with astonishment of what she just exposed.  The shock was written all over his face as he released her arms.  “Please don’t say anything; it wasn’t my place to share his secret.”  And she escaped before he could register her words and decipher how it all fit in the grand scheme of things.  By the time Marco joined their table Nate had taken Marisol home.

Chapter Nineteen

The past week was a whirlwind of activities between work and moving forward with the house sale.  Nate already had the contracts signed and ready to close and they agreed to close within sixty days.  Marisol was content with her decision to sell to Mr. Jackson who also owned her late grandfather’s tobacco farm.  He offered the full asking price in cash no less.
 
She would have been crazy not to accept. 

Marisol spent most of Saturday rummaging through items in the house.  Her father still had tools and personal items that she never had the heart to dispose of since he moved out.  She had three piles one for garbage one for donation and one for undecided.  Keeping herself busy kept her mind occupied avoiding thoughts of Marco or her debacle she had with him last week.  Nate took her confession quite well of her blunder to Marco about his sexuality which only proved he was one step closer to freeing himself from the truth. If only he could just open up with his family.  She knew he was a work in progress one step at a time.  Thinking of Nate, she realized she hasn’t heard from him in a few days or anyone else for that matter.  Marco seemed to accept her decisions since he hasn’t tried to communicate with her at all.  She should feel pleased about it but she would only lie to herself if she tried.  She actually felt disappointed and an overwhelming sadness plagued her heart. Will she ever feel a moment of blissful peace in her life?

Satisfied with all that she accomplished she decided to go out for a run to help relieve the restlessness she couldn’t seem to shake off.   Looking down at her feet she noticed her running shoes have seen better days.  Well another change she needed to make like the saying goes
out with the old and in with the new
.  She couldn’t help but snicker bitterly to herself since it symbolized her heavy heart.  She ran with no destination in mind and found her feet taking her to the cemetery.  Standing in front of Marissa and her mother’s graves she bent over with her hands on her knees and tried to catch her breathe.  Glaring at her Mom’s tombstone she shook her head. 
Oh mom what to make out of the tangled mess you created, I am sadly disappointed.  I wish I was enough to fill the void you felt in your heart.  How life could have been so different for all of us.  You affected so many lives on choices you made.  How could you leave me behind to face all the agonies in my life? I feel so alone.  I need you and even through all this I somehow am still able to feel comfort when I feel your presence.  Mom, I’m here to tell you I forgive you and I will always love you. 

The sounds of footsteps startled Marisol from her deep thoughts turning around only to find Mrs. Prescott standing there.  “Hello Ms. Braxton, I hope I haven’t frightened you.”

“No of course not, just surprised to see you here.”  Marisol replied wondering why Mrs. Prescott would approach her.

“Is this where your daughter is buried?”  She asked meekly.

“Yes, my daughter Marissa and my mom are both buried here.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize you also lost your mother.  I’m so sorry.”

Waving her hand Marisol said, “Please, no need to apologize it was a very long time ago.  I was about twelve when it happened, it was a car accident.”

“That is quite young for a girl to lose her mother.”  Shifting her stance she seemed uncomfortable.  “I’ve been meaning to speak to you.  First I want to apologize for our unfairness towards you and secondly to thank you for not giving up and seeking the truth about Savannah’s death.”

She was stunned and not expecting to hear her confess those very words.  “I don’t know what to say.  In all honesty I am happy you have closure not that it takes away your pain but at least you know she didn’t take her life on purpose.  Her death doesn’t have to be in vain you can save so many other lives by sharing Savannah’s story. It will bring awareness to so many.”

“Her death has been a great loss and I don’t wish this upon any family.  It has been a great relief that it wasn’t suicide but it saddens me of her bad decision. I have done research and have connected with several of organizations already.  You are right I will not let my daughter’s death be in vain.”  They both smiled at each other.  “You know you are an inspiration and these children don’t know how lucky they are to have you.  You are an honorable young lady.  Thank you for giving a part of myself back to me.  I have a reason now to wake up in the morning.”  Tears just rolled off her face and Marisol no longer could contain herself and opened up her arms wide and hugged her as they finally reconciled. 

****♥****

After another week of just going to work and packing up the house, Marisol was losing her mind.  She still hasn’t found somewhere to live; Nate keeps giving her the run around and has been avoiding her.  She knew something was up but had no energy to explore it any further.  She missed Marco and the ache he left behind was unbearable.  Nate told her Marco went back to Texas right after Charley’s flight the Sunday after the banquet.  Marisol must have lost at least five to ten pounds and was constantly tired.  Packing up the house played a major role in her tiredness besides the fact she couldn’t sleep an entire night without waking up a few times.  She finally decided to gather the gifts she wrapped up and pay a visit to Angelo and Layla.  She received the announcement almost two weeks ago of the arrival of their beautiful baby girl named Liz Beth Ortiz. She had intentionally avoided her visit and realized she couldn’t avoid the unavoidable.  

When she arrived she stood in her jeep for a few minutes to gather her courage.  It’s been over eleven years since Marissa, she should be able to visit a baby and not have a meltdown and completely embarrass herself.   Taking a deep breathe she gathered her gifts and headed to the house.  The door opened up before she made it to the last step of the porch so backing down was clearly out of the question now.  She was greeted with a shy smile from Alex as he welcomed her inside his home.  She still remembers the day he came to her office with his apologies layered in remorse and tears. Her forgiveness was happily given to him.  There was a whole new light in his eyes and appearance, all the fear and wariness had vanished and created a beautiful vision right before her eyes.  “Hello Alex, how is the big brother managing?”  She asked with a warm smile.

“I am fine although she does cry a lot.  Everyone is in the family room follow me my mom will be happy to see you.”   He said as he led the way and she was relieved to only find Layla and her mom Doña Lupe sitting there. The proud grandmother was coddling her new granddaughter.

Layla jumped up once she noticed Marisol enter the room. “Hi Marisol, come - come and meet the new princess of terror.”  She said laughing as Marisol handed her the gifts and presented one to Alex.  He looked puzzled at receiving a gift.  

“You can never leave out the big brother.  It’s just a little something I hope you like it.”  He opened it up quickly to find a set of Boise headphones.  He laughed so hard and gave her a big thank you.  “I figured you may need those.  It’s a great coping device.” And they all joined in the laughter. 

“What is so funny?”  As soon as the words were spoken she froze hearing the familiar voice, the very same voice that haunts her sleep at night.  Everyone else turned around simultaneously but Marco’s eyes were aimed for her only.  She slowly turned and caught his piercing stare.  He looked so damn sexy standing by the entrance with his hands in his jeans leaning his shoulder against the archway.  He could do a spread for any girly magazine and every woman from every continent would be on line just to buy a copy to get their sights on him.  He is like a sensual sex god in the flesh, shaking her head to remove her erotic thoughts.  Alex took the opportunity to flee so he can test his new headphones out.

“Hey Marco, Marisol was kind enough to buy Alex headphones to avoid his sister’s screaming.  The perfect gift don’t you agree?”  Layla responded and headed over to her mom so she can pick up Liz Beth from her.   She nodded towards the empty chair while telling Marisol to come sit.   Anxiety kicked in as she observed the love between Layla with her mother and Layla with her daughter.  It was beautiful to see even though it reminded her of all she lost and the loneliness she felt.  She obliged her request to sit down and gathered the bundle of joy in her arms and she was mesmerized by her. The smell of baby powder mixed with lotion filled her heart.  It was intoxicating.  Marco watched the scene before him and swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat.  He could see the longing in her eyes, for a mother to call her own and for the child she longed for.  It tore his heart into pieces if only he can shield her from anymore agony and just bring sunshine to her eyes each day so he can wipe away all her dark dreams.  If only…..