Deep Green: Color Me Jealous with Bonus Content (15 page)

“Yeah, that’s a great comfort coming from you. Your idea of fashion is to put on a clean pair of socks.”

Kara frowned.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “It just feels like years since I had a shower, and my foot itches, and the mere suggestion of going to school tomorrow just totally freaks me.”

“Want me to help you with a shower?” she offered.

I was tempted, but then glanced over at Edgar. “Does
he
have to help too?”

He laughed. “I’m not even going to respond to
that
. I’ll be downstairs if you ladies need me.”

“Thanks.”

So, Kara actually helped me to wrap my foot up in plastic and take a nice long shower. She patiently helped me shampoo and condition my hair and then even shaved my legs!

“I think you got almost as wet as I did,” I said as I sat on the stool and toweled off.

“Next time I’ll bring my swimsuit.”

“Or just go in the buff,” I teased, although I know Kara’s one of those prim girls who doesn’t like undressing in front of anyone.

Before long, I was dressed and we were back in my bedroom. “You want to invite Edgar back up?” I asked as I combed out my hair.

“Do you really want him to come back up?” she asked. “I mean, he mostly just comes along to give me a ride. You don’t have to—”

“I happen to like him, Kara,” I said in a voice that sounded like, “Duh!”

“Well
okay
.” She smiled and then went out in the hallway and yelled for Edgar to come up.

“Feeling better?” asked Edgar.

“Yeah. Kara’s great in the shower.”

She rolled her eyes.

“So, how’s it going otherwise?” asked Edgar as he pulled up a chair.

I just shrugged.

“Have you given any more thought to the whole God thing?” asked Kara.

“Did you know that Amber Elliot is a Christian?” I asked them. I was still slightly stunned by this news.

“No,” said Kara. “I always thought she was kind of mouthy and rude.”

“She’s definitely outspoken and sort of bossy,” I said. “But out of all the cheerleaders, she always seemed to have the highest standards, although I know she’s not perfect.”

“That’s cool,” said Edgar. “Just because a person is a Christian doesn’t mean they’re perfect. I can attest to that.”

“Me too,” said Kara. “You should’ve heard what I said to Bree last night when I found out she’d borrowed my favorite Gap sweater.”

“That cool one that I picked out for you last summer?”

“Yeah. She came into my room while I was gone and just took it.”

“Man, I would’ve let her have it.”

“That’s just what I did.” Then Kara frowned. “But I felt lousy afterward. I had to apologize. In fact, I told her if she liked the sweater that much, she could keep it.”

“No way!” I shook my head in total disbelief. “You gave her that sweater? That was one of your coolest pieces of clothing, Kara.” I wanted to say, “And you don’t have many,” but I managed to control myself.

“Yeah, I know. But it’s just a sweater, Jordan. Bree is my sister.”

“Wow.” I knew I wouldn’t be so nice if Leah did that to me.

“My point is,” said Kara, “I still blow it. Over and over and over, I blow it.”

“And Jesus forgives us,” added Edgar, “over and over and over.”

“You guys really should take this act on the road,” I said.

“It’s
not
an act,” said Kara indignantly.

“Yeah, I know. I was trying to be funny. Sorry.”

“I was thinking about what you said Monday,” said Edgar suddenly, “and it occurred to me that Jesus really
is
kind of like Little Cat Z.”

“Huh?”

“It’s like he was inside of God’s hat, and his purpose was to clean up messes.”

“I don’t get it.”

“Well, we manage to turn life into a complete mess without him, right?”

“I guess.”

“And in a way, it’s a good thing. I mean, if you were all squeaky clean and perfect, you wouldn’t need Little Cat Z, right?”

“I guess not.”

“But the fact that you’re a mess means you do.”

“So you like my Little Cat Z analogy?”

Edgar scratched his head. “Well, I’m not really a theologian, Jordan. But I suppose I believe that God is more like the big cat—not that he makes the messes exactly, because he doesn’t. But maybe he allows them to happen just so we’ll know that we need Little Cat Z.”

And suddenly, right there in my bedroom between Edgar Peebles and Dr. Seuss, it all began to fall into place. It actually started to make sense.

“I think I get it,” I said.

“You’re kidding!” Kara looked astonished. “I don’t even get it. But then I never did read Dr. Seuss.”

“No, it really makes sense to me,” I said. “I think I want this thing, you guys. I think I really want for Jesus to clean me up. What do I do?”

So they told me how to ask Jesus into my heart, and right there in my bedroom with Kara and Edgar by my side, I followed Edgar’s prayer and invited Jesus to come into my life.

“Amen,” said Edgar.

“Amen,” I repeated and then opened my eyes.

“Wow,” said Kara.

“Should I feel different?” I asked.

“Not necessarily,” said Edgar. “Some people do, some don’t.”

“I did,” said Kara. “It was really amazing.”

“I didn’t,” said Edgar. “Not at first anyway. But after a while I did.”

“What do I do now?” I asked.

“Lots of things,” said Kara. “Mostly I just started talking to Jesus all the time.”

“That’s good,” said Edgar. “And you’ll want to read the Bible to get to know God better.”

“You mean Dr. Seuss won’t cut it?” I teased.

He smiled. “And you’ll want to get involved in some kind of fellowship.”

“Fellowship?”

“A church.”

I was suddenly excited. “We have a church,” I said. “We go sometimes, but not regularly. I guess I could start going regularly.”

Edgar nodded. “God will help to show you what to do, Jordan. Mostly, you should do like Kara says and just talk to him.”

I smiled. “Okay. I think I like this already.” And to my surprise I really
was
feeling better. Oh, I suppose it could’ve been the shower or just having friends who cared, but I think it was something more too. “I feel pretty good,” I told them.

“Cool,” said Edgar. “But even if you wake up feeling rotten tomorrow, you need to trust God and talk to him about it.”

“That’s right,” agreed Kara. “That’s what I do.”

We talked some more, but it was getting close to dinnertime and I knew they needed to get going.

“Thanks so much, you guys!” I told them. “Really! This is so unbelievable!”

Then we all hugged and I could see that Kara had tears in her eyes.

“I’m so happy for you!” she said. “This is so awesome!”

And it is. Totally awesome. I am as amazed as anyone. And I don’t feel quite so freaked about going to school tomorrow. Okay, I’m not like all excited, but at least I’m willing.

twenty-one

G
OING TO SCHOOL ON
T
HURSDAY WAS ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS
I’
VE
ever done. My mom drove me and even helped me get situated with my bag and crutches, but I felt like a total klutz as I made my way toward the main entrance.

And yet it really did help to imagine that God was going with me. I’d taken Kara’s advice and started talking to him about
everything
. And it made me feel better, almost as if my life really was falling back into place again. Still, I was worried about facing my so-called friends.

“Jordan,” said Amber as soon as she saw me hobbling through the front door on my crutches. “Want some help with your bag?”

“Thanks.” I smiled at her. I wanted to tell her what I’d done yesterday, about inviting God into my life, but I decided to wait for the right moment. After all, it had taken her months to tell me.

“Jordan,” said Jenny, “how’s it going?”

“Okay,” I said.

“The word’s out,” said Amber in a hushed tone.

“Huh?”

“About what Shawna did to you,” said Jenny. “What a total witch!”

I nodded, feeling slightly uncomfortable, though I wasn’t sure why.

“Everyone’s talking about it,” said Jenny, glancing over her shoulder. “Some of us think she should get kicked off the squad.”

“Jordan!” called a familiar voice.

I shifted my weight on my crutches in order to look the other direction. There was Ashley coming my way. I didn’t know whether to say “hey” or try to run for my life, which wouldn’t be easy in my case.

“It’s okay,” she said when she got closer. “Amber set me straight on what
really
happened last weekend.”

“I’m so sorry,” I told her. “I got caught so totally unaware and I was about to set Brett straight and then you guys showed up. And—”

“I know.” Ashley nodded. “Brett tried to explain it to me that night, but I was so furious with him that I wouldn’t even listen. Then after Amber explained everything to me yesterday, I went to Brett and he totally confirmed it.” She put her arms around me and gave me a gentle squeeze. “I’m sorry, Jordan. I should’ve known you wouldn’t have pulled that kind of stunt.”

I just nodded, though I was honestly thinking,
How do you
know
I wouldn’t?
But I wasn’t about to rock the boat.

“That’s right,” agreed Jenny. “We need to remember that Shawna’s the Crud Queen.”

“I don’t think that girl’s going to show her face here today,” said Ashley.

“I don’t blame her,” said Amber. “Even Timothy is mad at her.”

“Timothy?” I felt myself growing weak.

“Yeah,” said Jenny. “Caleb told me that they broke up last night and Timothy said ‘never again.’”

“Wow,” I said. “I’ll bet she’s upset.”

“Well, she deserves it,” said Jenny.

I just nodded. Part of me agreed with Jenny, but a newer part of me wasn’t so sure anymore. Part of me was thinking that I wasn’t much different than Shawna, but I didn’t admit this to anyone. What good would it do anyway?

To my total amazement, that was pretty much how my day went. It was like my old dream had finally come true—like I was the most popular girl in school and everyone loved me. Too weird. Everyone kept coming up and showing their support for me. And yet with each time, I felt more and more miserable. But how could I explain this to anyone? I didn’t even get it myself. And I’m sure that everyone thought they were just being nice. And they were—to
me
anyway. But the nasty things they were saying about Shawna were almost making me feel sick.

Even Brett, with Ashley at his side, came to talk to me during lunch. “Looks like we’ve been cleared, Jordan.”

I smiled up at him. “That was pretty weird, huh?”

“You’re telling me. I thought someone was going to pop out with a camera and say, ‘You’ve been had, Brett Hawkins, you’re on
Gotcha TV
!’”

I laughed. “Yeah, I honestly thought we’d slipped into an old episode of
The Twilight Zone
.”

“I’m just glad it’s over,” said Ashley. “What a nightmare.”

“How’s your foot?” asked Brett.

“Okay, considering.”

“Was your car totaled?”

I nodded.

“Bummer,” said Ashley.

“You could probably sue Shawna,” said Brett. “It’s really her fault that you got into that wreck.”

“Maybe. But it was my choice to go.” I don’t know if it was God or just me, but I felt a need to say something more honest. “And in all fairness, at the time I really did think I was going to see Timothy, even though I knew he was still going with Shawna.”

“Yeah, sure, but considering everything,” said Ashley, “it’s pretty hard to feel sorry for
her
.”

“Yeah, she totally set you up,” said Brett. “And me too. I think that girl deserves whatever she gets.”

“Amber said she might get kicked off the squad,” said Ashley.

“Good,” said Brett. “We don’t need someone like Shawna Frye dragging us all down during basketball season, especially when it looks like we might really have a chance at state.”

Then, to my relief, the subject moved on to basketball. But I was still thinking about Shawna. And to my amazement, I no longer felt like I wanted to make her miserable. It’s not like I wanted to be friends with her or anything, and I had no problem that kids were siding with me instead of her, but that old seething hatred I’d carried all those weeks seemed to be melting away.

At the end of fifth period, I received a memo from Ms. Brookes informing me that my probation period had ended. She wanted me to come talk to her before my next class.

“I’m really sorry about that day in the parking lot,” I told her after I thanked her for the memo. “I don’t usually talk like that.”

“I know.” She smiled. “Amber told me about the stolen car keys and jeans.” She shook her head. “Not exactly the behavior we expect from our girls.”

“Love does strange things to people,” I said and then I wished I hadn’t, since now she was looking at me like I was slightly nuts.

“So, how long will you be in that cast?” she asked.

“Until early January,” I told her. “Almost half of basketball season.”

She shook her head. “We’re going to have to call in the alternate.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I figured you would. If she’s my size, I’d be happy to give her my outfits.”

Ms. Brookes laughed. “First of all, she’s not even close to your size. But second of all, you’re still on the squad, Jordan—unless you’re thinking of quitting.”

“Huh?”

“Pardon me,” she corrected.

“Right. Pardon me?”

“No, Shawna’s the one who’s being dismissed.”

“Oh.”

She peered closely at me. “Do you have a problem with that, Jordan?”

“I guess I feel a little sorry for her.”

“Well, that’s nice and all. But she’s broken too many of the rules to even be considered for a simple probation. We don’t have you girls sign that pledge just for the fun of it, you know.”

“I know.”

“And we expect you to attend practices. You don’t have to work out; just be there. And dress in uniform on game days, and, well, just do whatever you can do to boost morale. They’ll need it.”