The corner of his mouth curved upward. “I’d hoped you’d change your mind.”
But instead of placing the fudge bar on the palm I held out, he broke off a piece and held it to my mouth. I couldn’t resist anymore. Locking my gaze on his, I parted my lips, then drew the sugary fudge into my mouth.
Indescribable sweetness exploded against my tongue, reminding me of everything I’d loved in my youth. Running through the park. Thowing the tennis ball to my loveable pooch, Checkers. Jumping into my dad’s arms. Kissing Nate on the swing.
Our gaze held as he pushed the last of the fudge bite into my mouth. My tongue swiped the edge of his finger, causing more-than-friendly zings to zap my belly. Suddenly, my déjà vu turned into my déjà date, and I was ready to taste more than fudge.
“We can’t do this.” I whispered, but I couldn’t make my legs retreat.
“Sure we can.” Without taking his eyes off mine, he took my wine glass from me, setting it next to his on the edge of a planter box. Then he slipped his arms around me, pulled me close to him, and held me there. “Do you have any idea how many times I’ve wanted to hold you since I left? Since
before
I left?”
A shiver ran through me. I couldn’t believe he’d had feelings for me when we were young. I’d been
so
in love with him. But that was I was fourteen, carefree, and never thought about the future. “This is not a good idea.”
“You’re right.” He bent toward me, brushing his mouth over mine, back and forth, until a small sound escaped me. “It’s a
great
idea.”
I couldn’t argue with that logic when his mouth captured mine, leaving me completely breathless but wanting more. He kissed me over and over, sending me spinning somewhere between the past and the present—in a déjà dream I couldn’t escape from even if I wanted to, which I didn’t.
My hands glided across his firm chest, over his shoulders, then I laced them through the back of his thick hair, pulling him closer. His tongue claimed mine repeatedly. He tasted of fudge and Nate, which was a perfect combination. I savored each kiss, never wanting them to end.
Then a light breeze blew my hair back, snapping me out of my decadent haze.
I tasted him one more time before I pulled back, then fought to catch my breath as I stepped away. His hands immediately found mine, and he pulled me back to him. “Where do you think you’re going? I just found you again. I’m not going to let you escape.”
How was it possible that I was even more attracted to Nate after all of these years? Had to be hormones or something, because I wanted to
carpe diem
with Nate right here on the terrace. This was so
not
the distance I was supposed to be keeping.
“Thank you for dinner. But I really need to go home and work on my list.”
The corner of his mouth rose and he pressed his mouth to mine. “I thought we were working on number three.”
I took a deep breath to gather my strength, then I wriggled out of his arms. “I can’t date you, Nate.”
“Why not?” He frowned when I picked up my wine glass and strode toward the table, but he quickly caught up to me. “If I didn’t leave you breathless, I’m happy to try again.”
I tossed him a “don’t even think about it” look. “You plied me with marshmallow fudge bar, which is so not fair. I lost my head for a moment. That’s all that happened.”
“Your dad knew what was good for you. That’s why he put number three on that list.”
I set my empty glass on the table a little too hard. “My dad should’ve been more detailed with number three. Attraction is all well and good. But I need to date someone who’s stable. Not someone who’s going to fall off a cliff or get eaten by a shark while he’s at work.”
He grinned, lifting my jacket from the back of my chair. “You saw the Bali photos on my website? I just uploaded them this afternoon.”
My cheeks heated as I slipped my arms into my jacket and chastised myself for not having more self-control when it came to my cell phone’s Internet service. “I’m glad you have a job you love. That’s what I’m going for, too. But I can’t cross something off the
Carpe Diem
list if I haven’t truly completed it.” I grabbed my purse from the ground and slipped it over my shoulder. “And you and I are not dating.”
“You’ll change your mind.” He grinned, holding out my dad’s letter. “Just like the fudge.”
“Don’t count on it.” I snatched the letter from his hand, then slipped through the hatch, feeling completely flustered as I hurried down the stairs.
I didn’t care what number three on my dad’s
Carpe Diem
list said, dating someone who left me breathless was
not
enough. I needed someone who would be around in fifty years, not a wanderlust like Nate who might get eaten by a grizzly bear while hiking in the Rocky Mountains.
Unfortunately, reminding myself about that didn’t make leaving Nate any easier.
Chapter Five
The next day I spent over thirteen hours straight working at Bernie’s Bakery, making everything from chocolate croissants to custard pies. I took inventory, placed supply orders, and even served customers while Avery was on her lunch break. But instead of being worn out by such a long day, I felt invigorated.
Managing the bakery felt completely different from my customer service job in the software industry, which would have wiped me out after such a full day. I
loved
baking in the early hours, helping the customers, and organizing the business side. Today just reinforced that buying Bernie’s Bakery was essential to my future happiness.
I’d almost cried when Bernie’s Realtor, Wendy Watts, put up the “for sale” sign outside the bakery this morning, and it was all I could do not to rip it down and yell, “It’s
mine
.”
At least, it would be mine as soon as I got my inheritance money, which was why I was attacking the first task on my dad’s
Carpe Diem
list tonight.
Ginger had given me two thumbs up this morning for getting a dog as long as it was less than twenty-five pounds, which was the homeowners association’s rule. She’d also mentioned that her friend, Sarah Carlton, ran a dog rescue service out of her house. So I made a six o’clock appointment with Sarah to adopt one of her rescues. I’d give the dog a nice home, but I’d keep my feelings tucked safely away from him.
No creature could ever replace Checkers.
I arrived home from the bakery after five o’clock, which didn’t give me much time to eat before heading over to Sarah’s house, let alone time to wash the flour out of my hair. Nate had appeared in the bakery’s kitchen at five a.m., insisting that friends help friends bake. When I’d protested, he’d merely flicked flour in my direction, and we’d ended up having a bit of showdown involving multiple spices.
Nate had won, so I ended up letting him help me bake—customers were arriving soon after all. But I’d held my own in the spice fight and he’d left that afternoon smelling of cinnamon, nutmeg, and sugar. Yum. His scent had been even more delicious, but I managed to resist him, which hadn’t been easy. The man looked
hot
wearing an apron, and despite my need to distance myself from him, he’d made me laugh over and over like old times.
Now, at home, I practically inhaled my dinner so I wouldn’t be late. Then I set my plate in the dishwasher, grabbed my keys off the counter, and was heading for the door when Mary Ann arrived unexpectedly. She insisted on coming with me to Sarah’s house, and I took her up on her offer to drive since my hands were shaking.
The drive was only a few miles, but I couldn’t remember any of it. I’d chewed on my thumbnail the entire ride, knowing I’d never be able to open my heart up to another dog like I had with my beloved Checkers. If only my dad had given me some other task since this one just reminded me of the sweet companion I’d lost, causing stabbing pain through my chest.
“What’s going on, Melinda?” Mary Ann pulled into the right side of Sarah’s driveway, and pushed her gearshift into park. “Spill, so I don’t have to start guessing.”
“What makes you think anything’s going on?” I opened the door, gave her my most innocent look, then jumped out of the car before she could respond.
Mary Ann’s blond head popped out of the driver’s side. “I asked about the hot guy from the bakery several times, but you’ve totally ignored me.” She pushed her driver’s side door shut. “Plus, you’re suddenly adopting a dog? Animal hair drives you
nuts
. I mean, really. You flinch any time Gilligan or The Professor rub against your ankle.”
I normally smiled at the mention of my roommate Ginger’s cats’ names. It was hilarious how she and Mary Ann totally had the
Gilligan’s Island
thing going on. But my nerves were too raw right now. I was about to adopt a dog, and all I could think about was the ripping pain I’d felt when Checkers had died. I’d need to keep emotional distance from this new dog. That’s all there was to it.
“See? You’re doing it again, ignoring me. And you’re wearing the same expression I had when my facialist moved to Tahiti with her boyfriend. Not exactly the look of someone excited to bring home a pooch. Am I wrong?” She raised her brow as we traipsed up Sarah’s front walkway.
At the doorstep, I turned to Mary Ann, whose eyes grew large with concern. I sighed. Here she was, once again, reaching out to me. Part of me wanted to tell her how my dog died when I was fourteen and how that had crushed me. That my dad had died soon after and the idea of losing someone else I loved gave me this deep dark sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
But I’d learned to keep a heavily guarded wall around my heart, and it forced me to hold back. Although I longed to open up to the bubbly blonde who spoke everything on her mind, and to the adventurous rebel who rode a motorcycle (oops—I promised myself I wouldn’t think of Nate tonight), the thought made me feel entirely too vulnerable.
So I turned to Mary Ann as I pressed the doorbell, wishing I could be more like her and just say everything that was on my mind. I decided to try the short version for a start. “My dad died when I was fourteen, and my mom just found a letter he’d written to me in his will—”
“I’m so sorry.” She reached out, threw her arms around me, and squeezed. “How awful. I had no idea.”
I froze, momentarily stunned at how easily she was able to let her feelings fly. I patted her back awkwardly. “Thanks, Mary Ann. That’s . . . very sweet of you.”
The front door opened with a squeak. “Are you guys all right?” a female voice asked.
I quickly turned to smile at the pretty woman with silky brown hair who looked about my age, dressed in dog-hair covered sweats and a warm smile.
“Melinda’s dad died when she was fourteen, and her mom
just
found a letter he’d written to her.” Mary Ann sniffed, then dabbed the corners of her eyes. “Melinda, this is Sarah. Sarah, Melinda.”
Sarah’s smile grew even wider. “Nice to meet you, Melinda. I’m very sorry to hear about your dad. How surreal to get a letter from him after all of this time.”
“You don’t know the half of it,” I blurted, unexpectedly.
Mary Ann kept her gaze on me as she stepped inside the entryway, and Sarah closed the door behind us. “Was it hard for you to read it?” Mary Ann asked.
“Yes.” I pressed my lips together and followed her inside, thinking it would’ve been easier if I had asked Nate to stay with me like I’d wanted. Even though it had been years since we’d seen each other, being with him felt comforting—like we were still best friends.
“What did he say in his letter? If you don’t mind my asking . . .” Sarah’s tone was friendly, but cautious.
I gave her a reassuring smile, touched by how genuinely interested she seemed. “He told me good-bye and that he’d always love me.”
“Oh!” Mary Ann’s eyes watered. “Sounds like your dad was really special. Mine wouldn’t write me a letter in a million years, let alone say he loves me. I’m just fortunate he completed rehab. We’re having a celebratory dinner Saturday night and I’m so
not
looking forward to seeing him.”
I gave Mary Ann a sympathetic look. “My dad wasn’t perfect, by any means. In his letter, he also left me a
Carpe Diem
list, which I have to complete.”
“Seize the day?” Sarah asked.
I nodded, following her down the hall. “Task one is to adopt a dog.”
“Oh!” Mary Ann’s hand flew to her mouth as she skipped along beside me. “That makes total sense now. You’re adopting the dog because your dad wanted you to, which is
so
sweet. Was he an animal lover?”
We crossed through the living room, went out the sliding back door, then entered Sarah’s yard. Barking ensued.
“I don’t know,” I mumbled. My dad liked animals well enough, but that’s not why he’d put the task on my list. He knew how much I loved Checkers and he wanted me to seize the day—whatever
that
meant. Sigh.
“These are the rescues available for adoption.” Sarah wore a wistful smile as she leaned on the chain link fence of her dog run. There were eight dogs inside, most of whom were jumping against the fence and barking loudly.
Thinking of Checkers, my heart pinched. I glanced away from the yippers, mentally grumbling to my dad about how he could do this to me. What if my roommate rethought her decision to let me have a dog once she heard the barking in her tranquil condo? I wasn’t really a cat person, but Ginger’s kittens were certainly quiet. And, even more, I’d made sure not to bond with them.
For a moment, I pondered the possibility of my mom letting me modify task number one to a cat. No, that was just wishful thinking. My mom and dad had been sticklers for backing each other up, so I’d have to complete task one as he wrote it if I wanted the inheritance money so I could buy the bakery.
“I rescued that one from the pound.” Sarah interrupted my thoughts by pointing to a yellow lab mix. “He’s sweet, but rambunctious for sure.” Then she waved her finger at a tiny brown fluffy dog. “A woman dropped that one off after she found her wandering the streets.” Her lips pressed together as she faced me. “Is there a certain type of personality you’re looking for in a pet?”