Deliver Me (9 page)

They
stood together for a couple of minutes. When she stepped back, she asked,
“You’re really gonna quit the band? You are one of the biggest names in the
business.”

“I’m
also one of the unhappiest. I love music, don’t get me wrong. But the years
have taken their toll. I’ve had a great life up to this point, but I want
something else. I need something different in my life.” Tag pointed at his
niece, asleep in her seat. “I have someone else besides myself to look after
now. I can’t ask Erik to keep her indefinitely. Cade’s right about one thing,
she’ll eventually forget who I am, and I can’t have that. I might not have
expected her, or even wanted her at first, but now she’s mine. I want to be
there when she says her first word, when she takes her first step, when she
cuts her first tooth. Well, maybe not then.

“Spending
these past couple of days with her and Erik made me realize what it is I’ve
been missing. A family. I can see myself giving Delilah her bath while Erik
cooks dinner. Helping her with her homework after she comes home from school
while we wait on Erik to get home from work. I can see the two of us adopting
another child so Delilah can have a brother or sister. Call me a sap, but fuck
if I don’t want it all.”

Most
Mondays were slammed, and today was no exception. With Jeannie’s help, Erik did
his best to stay on schedule. He had called an agency that specialized in nannies
and had four candidates lined up to interview – two today and two later in the
week. Between those and the walk-ins, Erik didn’t have time to take a break.
Now that Laura had had time to get adjusted to Erik’s way of doing things, the
office was running smoothly. He missed Bethany, his regular receptionist, but
she had four more weeks of being home with her own baby. Maybe Erik should turn
one of the empty rooms into a daycare. That way he and Bethany could have their
children close during the day.

He
sighed when he realized what he’d thought. Delilah was not his child.
Regardless, for the next three months he would rather have her there with him
so he could keep an eye on her than to have a nanny stay at his home. Between
patients, Erik walked to the back of the building and took stock of the empty
rooms. Being the only doctor in his practice, he only needed a few rooms in
which to see patients. When he originally bought the building, he’d planned on
adding another doctor to the staff. He just never got around to it. Business
was good, and he made enough money by himself to live a comfortable life. If he
hadn’t torn up Lee’s check he could retire.
Fucking million dollars.

There
were two empty offices beside the kitchen. One was quite large, the perfect
size to fit two cribs and anything else they might need. The more he thought
about it, the more he liked the idea. He would call Bethany and get her
opinion. When Jeannie found him in the back, he told her his idea. The older
woman was a great asset. She knew he was gay. She didn’t like it, but she loved
him, and did her job well. She agreed the nursery was a great idea. With his
mind made up, he got back to his patients.

When
five o’clock rolled around, Erik was typing up the last of his notes, ready to
be home. The phone on his desk rang, but he ignored it. Laura had already left
for the day, and he didn’t want to get stuck talking to a new mom whose baby
had the sniffles. If it was an emergency, whoever it was would be directed to
the E.R. at the hospital. He was turning off the lights when his cell phone
rang. He looked at the caller I.D. Sarah. Shit. She was probably going to ream
him a new one for putting her off all weekend. Erik’s ass clenched at the memory
of being reamed good the night before. Lee Holloway was not only a god on the
stage, but he was a god in bed.

Biting
the bullet, he answered on his way out the door. “Hello, Sarah.”

“Hey,
you. I was wondering if you’d like to come over for dinner since I didn’t get
to see you all weekend.”

Erik
knew something was going on with his friend, because she had never been this
needy before. He felt really bad about putting her off, so he offered, “Why
don’t you come to my place? I will grill you a steak, and you can get to know
Delilah.”

Sarah
didn’t respond immediately. He didn’t think she was opposed to babies, but, in
all their years as friends, the topic of children had never come up. “Sarah?”

“Will
Taggart be there?”

“At
some point, yes. The band is practicing, but he’ll be coming by later.” He
didn’t want Sarah to fan girl all over Lee, and he really didn’t want her to
flirt with the man. He couldn’t tell her Lee was gay either, because for all
Erik knew the man went both ways. But Lee would be gone in twelve days, and
Sarah would be all he had. He couldn’t alienate her now.

“Yeah,
sure. Let me go home and change clothes, and I’ll be over. Do you need
anything?”

“No
thanks, I have everything. I’ll see you in a bit.” Erik hung up and prayed he
wasn’t making a mistake.

An
hour later, Erik was wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil, and Sarah was sitting
at the table watching him. Echo had left as soon as he arrived, assuring him
she’d be back the next morning. When Duke came down the hall and barked once,
Erik said, “Delilah’s awake. Will you please go get her for me? Duke will show
you to her room.”

Sarah
nodded and did as he asked. They had made small talk ever since she arrived,
but hadn’t solved the world’s problems. Erik couldn’t get her to open up about
what was bothering her, so he stopped trying. The side door opened, and Lee
strode into the kitchen without knocking. He dropped an overnight bag by the
door before coming to stand next to Erik. Lee grabbed his hips and pushed him
against the counter, threading one hand through his hair as he said, “I missed
you.” Before Erik could tell him they had company, Lee slanted his mouth over
Erik’s and licked the seam. Erik automatically opened for him, kissing him back
with everything he had.

Behind
them, Sarah cleared her throat. Lee froze, and Erik said, “We have company.”

Lee
turned, and Erik held his breath. Lee gave Sarah his rock star smile and walked
to where she was standing. “Hello, Sarah. How was your day?” he asked as if she
was someone he saw every day. He took Delilah from her and cuddled the baby.
“Hey there, Delilah. How was
your
day?” he asked the baby. Erik had to
laugh at Lee using his line from the song.

“Hey,
you stole my line. You can write your own lyrics for our girl.” Erik’s laugh
faded when he saw the way Sarah was looking at him. If he didn’t know better,
he would say she was mad. “Lee, Delilah just woke up. Will you please change
her diaper?”

“Sure
thing. Let’s go, Princess. Gotta keep those buns dry.” Lee took off down the
hall with his niece.

“Before
you say anything…” 

Sarah
cut him off. “Why would I say anything, Erik? Instead of telling me the truth
about what you were doing, you’ve been here all this time playing Susie Homemaker
with
him
. Truth be told, I’d probably keep him to myself, too. Then
again, I think I read somewhere he likes to share. Want to have a threesome?”

Erik
stared at his best friend. He couldn’t tell if she was being serious or petty. Sarah
finally rolled her eyes and sat back down at the table. Erik placed the
potatoes in the oven to cook while he grilled the steaks outside. Lee returned
with a fresh baby and buckled her in her seat. He went to the fridge and pulled
out a beer for himself. “Sarah, would you like something to drink? We have
beer, wine and really good sweet tea.”

Sarah
looked like a fish out of water. Erik knew what she was thinking. She’d been to
his house many times, but never had she made herself at home. He also knew what
Lee was doing: marking his territory. This could get interesting, but it could
also turn nasty. When Sarah didn’t answer, Erik told Lee, “She’ll have wine,
and I’ll take a beer, please.”  The wine was a new bottle with a cork in it.
Erik wanted to see how Lee handled that. Lee sat both beers on the counter
alongside the wine. He opened the correct cabinet to grab a wine glass. Next, he
opened the drawer that not only contained the bottle opener, but also the
corkscrew. He opened the wine like a professional and poured Sarah a glass. He
handed it to her, saying, “Here you go.” He popped the top on both beers and
handed Erik his with a smile. “Here you go, babe.”

Oh,
he was good. Lee sat next to Sarah at the table and took a long pull from his
bottle. “You shouldn’t believe everything you read on the internet, Sarah. For
the record, I don’t share, especially not him.” Lee pointed at Erik with his
beer bottle. “Erik’s told me a little about your job. Why don’t you fill me in?
I think what you do is fascinating.”

Erik
shook his head. Just like that, Lee had proved his dick was bigger all while
winning Sarah over with his superstar persona. With the exception of the kiss,
this was the Lee the world got to see - the larger than life, confident, cocky
rock star, not the insecure, wanting man. There was no way Erik would ever call
him out on it. If he needed to be Taggart Lee while in Sarah’s presence, he’d
allow it. For now. If by some small miracle they pursued a relationship once
Lee was off the road, he would have to be able to show his true self to Sarah.
She was part of Erik’s life, and she wasn’t going anywhere.

Erik
grilled steaks, Sarah talked about her job, and Lee fed Delilah her bottle
before it was time for them to eat. Erik told them about his idea to turn one
of the rooms at his clinic into a daycare. “I’ll need to check with the city
and make sure I won’t need a separate type of license, but it’ll make me feel
so much better having the princess with me during the day.”

“I’ll
call Gerard and have him check on that tomorrow. Get my money’s worth out of
him,” Lee said. Erik had an attorney he’d used previously, but Gerard was on
retainer, and this was something to benefit Delilah, so Erik didn’t feel bad
about allowing Lee to call him.

“I’d
appreciate that. I didn’t have time for lunch today, I was so busy. Tomorrow’s
looking much the same, especially since I have a couple of nannies to
interview.”

When
they were through eating, Lee said, “You two go visit, I’ll get the kitchen.”
He stood and began clearing the table. Erik took Delilah from her seat and told
Sarah to follow him. He led her to the deck where they could enjoy the sun
going down. After sitting on the swing with Lee, he didn’t want to share it
with anyone else. He asked Sarah if she wanted to hold the baby, but she
declined.

“Nothing
against her, really. I’m just better with animals, I guess.” Erik tried one
more time to get her to open up while they had the opportunity to speak
privately.

“Sarah,
please. I know something’s on your mind. Why won’t you tell me what it is?”

She
shook her head. “I lost someone, and it hit a little close to home. It’s just
one of those things that takes time. Now, what about you? He’s leaving, going
on tour. How are you going to handle him being around all those naked women
throwing themselves at him?”

“Sarah,
you have this all wrong. He and I are spending time together, that’s it. I
don’t have any misconception that it’s more than that. Yes, he’ll go back on
the road, but we aren’t in a relationship. He hasn’t promised me fidelity or
even a future. I’m doing him a favor by watching Delilah. He’s doing me a favor
by allowing me to be part of her life. Simple as that.”

“Nothing’s
ever that simple. And what do you mean, doing you a favor? You’re so busy
already. Now you’ve turned your own life upside down for a man you don’t even
know. Why?”

Erik
wanted to tell her the truth. Wanted to share his hopes for the future, but she
was already acting funny. She had lost patients before, and never had she let
one get to her this way. She wasn’t being entirely truthful with him. So, he
told her some of it. “I want a family. I never thought I’d have it, being gay.
And, being a doctor, I spend so much time away from home that I put off my
dream of children indefinitely. Watching after Delilah is going to either show
me I’ve wasted too much time already, or I was right and don’t have the time to
commit to raising a child. Granted, having her at the clinic with me will be
easier, but I’ll still know if I can be a good father or not.”

Lee
stepped onto the deck and leaned a hip against the rail. Staring at the sun as
it disappeared over the trees, he said, “You’re going to be a great fucking
father.”

Tag’s
day started with a smile on his face and a warm body wrapped around his, until
Duke licked his arm and woke him up. The dog sat there until he got up and
followed him to Delilah’s room. Seeing his niece awake but not crying put another
smile on his face. He had no idea if it was her being in a different
environment, the dog, or just the fact she was getting older, but she was
getting happier every day. He would bet it was all of the above, but mostly she
was in a home with a loving parent instead a house full of bitching, moaning,
whiney ass motherfuckers. Make that motherfucker. Singular. Cade was being a
rat bastard, and Tag was getting tired of it. Gus tried to get him to ride home
in the SUV, but Tag wanted to drive his own car so he could think.

Before
they got to his house, Carl, one of the other bodyguards, had to run
interference as a decoy so Tag could get in his driveway unseen. All of this
was necessary, because Cade was acting like a spoiled child. When Tag walked in
the house, he didn’t bother speaking to his best friend. If this kept up, there
would be no best to it. They wouldn’t even be friends. The only reason Tag put
up with his attitude was because they had been friends for so long. He was
figuring out that friendship needed to go both ways for it to work. Just
because he’d known Tag over fifteen years, that didn’t give Cade the right to
treat him like shit.

“I’ll
be downstairs,” he told Sloane and Pauly. They followed him, no questions
asked. He didn’t wait on Cade before starting practice. “So, do you have
anything to add to the new song?” The three of them worked together for a
couple of hours. Pauly didn’t have his part written down. Instead, he plugged in
his Les Paul and played the additional notes. Kids in school had ribbed Pauly
about being named after a guitar until he started playing. He quickly shut them
up with his talent. He never ceased to amaze Tag with the riffs he came up
with. Sloane came in behind Pauly, strumming the bass line. It was obvious
they’d gotten together at some point and worked on it. Probably while fucking
Cade was off causing trouble.

Sloane
told Tag, “Sing your part. I think I have the harmonies down.” Tag rarely
played guitar on stage. The two men in the room with him had enough talent
between them to allow him to focus on singing.  When Tag nodded, Pauly played
the new intro, and Tag tapped out the beat on his seat. Sloane came in with the
bass, and Tag started with the lyrics. Sloane’s voice floated underneath Tag’s
bringing the song to a new level of greatness. Before they were halfway
through, Cade slid behind his drum kit and joined in. Tag nodded at him and
continued singing.

“That
was good. Let’s try it again from the beginning.” Now that Cade was in the
zone, the song should be perfect. And it was, so they added it to their set
list. With Echo at Erik’s watching Delilah, they sent Gus out for lunch. The
mood was thick when they weren’t practicing, but Tag refused to bring up Cade’s
indiscretion from the night before. If he wanted to be a dick, Tag wasn’t going
to stop him. While he was eating, he called Echo and checked on both her and
the baby. When they hung up, Tag texted Erik, instead of calling, not wanting
to bother him at work. He wanted the doctor to know he was thinking about him.
A few minutes later, Erik responded.
Between patients. Are you coming over
tonight?

Tag
replied:
If that’s okay. Want to see you and the princess

Erik
pinged back quickly:
Sounds good. I’ll grill steaks. Got a patient now

Tag
slid his phone in the back pocket of his jeans. He had a feeling he was being
watched so he wiped the stupid grin off his face. On the inside, he was banging
his head at the happiness he felt. Outside, he appeared to be his normal,
uncaring self. He went back inside where Cade was sitting alone at the island.
He didn’t want to start a fight, so he walked on past without speaking. It
really hurt his heart that their relationship had come down to the silent
treatment.

“So
that’s how it’s going to be from now on?” Cade asked.

Tag
stopped and faced him. “I don’t want to fight with you, or argue with you, or
have to explain myself every fucking minute of every day, Cade. I want my
friend back. I want the Cade who I could count on to have my back, not stick a
knife in it. I’ve explained my feelings, and that’s all I can do. But let me
tell you this… I will not bow down to you, and I won’t get on my knees for you.
Ever again. Those days are over. I have loved you since we were teens, and I
will always love you. But right now? Right now I don’t like you. Not even a
little. You are putting a wedge between us with your jealousy. It’s up to you,
Cade. You can get over this obsession of yours and pull the wedge out. When we
get back on the road, we’ll go back to hanging out and playing great music
together for a few months. Or, you can continue with your petty bullshit and
drive that wedge so far between us, the log splinters in two. We will travel
together for three months and afterwards, go our separate ways. I can count my
friends on one hand. I can’t afford to lose one. But if losing one who doesn’t
have my best interest at heart makes room for someone else who does? That’s
exactly what I’ll do.

“Now,
I am going to pack a bag. I will be spending the rest of my nights with Delilah
and Erik. I will be home every morning in time to practice. You and I have been
separated for much longer than two weeks at a time. I’m asking you, if you love
me, please give me this. Give me the time with Delilah both she and I need.”
Tag passed Sloane and Pauly on his way to his bedroom. The two of them smiled
sad smiles as he walked by. The front door closed soon after. He looked out his
bedroom window to see who was leaving. Instead of getting in his car, Cade
walked toward the back of the house. He kept walking until Tag could no longer
see him.

Tag
felt like shit. He never wanted to hurt Cade. Hell, he didn’t even know he had
hurt him. How could someone go five years without mentioning the fact they
wanted a relationship? If that’s even what this was about. He figured it was
Cade wanting what Cade couldn’t have. Tag was ready to go see his girl and
forget about the last hour. Ready to go see Erik and have him help him forget
everything.

Instead
of taking the Vette, he opted for his beat up Jeep. He drove toward the back of
the property, traveling over an old wagon trail. There was a break in the trees
between his land and that next to his. His neighbor had no problem with Tag
sneaking down the fence row to avoid anyone who might be staking out his gate.
He bumped along the ruts and was soon free and clear.

When
he arrived at Erik’s, there was a strange car in the driveway. Tag honestly
didn’t care who it belonged to. Erik was expecting him, so he grabbed his
overnight bag and went in the side door. There was no one in the kitchen with
Erik, so he didn’t hesitate. He needed Erik, needed to touch him, to kiss him.
Breathe in the glorious scent that was all doctor. He pushed Erik against the
counter and took his mouth. Someone clearing their throat had Tag ready to
scream. He didn’t care if it was the fucking pope, he needed more of Erik. When
he saw who it was, he was ready to fight. Sarah might be Erik’s best friend,
but she had once had her eye on the man. Had she really let go of the hope of
one day turning him to the other team? He realized he was judging her before he
knew her, but her smile didn’t reach her eyes. Tag wasn’t a psychiatrist, but
he was a pretty good judge of character, and this woman had a screw loose where
Erik was concerned.

Tag
put on his million dollar smile and greeted the woman. He didn’t care if she
responded or not. As a matter of fact, he didn’t give her a chance to say
anything before he took his niece out of her arms. He did care how the baby
was. The more time he spent around her, the happier it made him. He continued
his charade all through dinner, and now, here they were watching the sun go
down. Tag had eavesdropped as Erik explained their situation from his point of
view. It was going to be hard enough to convince Erik to give him a chance
without his friend shooting them down, too. Tag leaned against the rail and
said, “You’re going to be a great fucking father.” He might have said it with a
little more venom than intended, but Tag wanted Sarah to know he believed in
Erik. When the sun was behind the trees, Tag took Delilah from Erik. He didn’t
say anything, just took her and went into the house.

He
didn’t care if it was rude. He needed to have time alone with her, away from
Sarah’s poison. He knew from experience some friends were harder to take than
others. He should throw her and Cade in a room together. Erik would either heed
her words, or he’d listen to his own heart.

Since
the sun had gone down, the weather was cooling off. Tag grabbed one of
Delilah’s blankets and wrapped her up before going to the front porch. He spent
the better part of an hour talking to the baby, telling her stories of her
mother when she was a little girl. He sang songs to her he had written out of
anger. When he sang the words to her, the songs just sounded silly. Trying to
turn an angst-ridden tune into a lullaby was not as easy as it should be.  

Erik
came out the front door as Sarah drove down the driveway. He was thankful she
hadn’t bothered to say goodbye. Putting on a fake smile got old. Erik sat down
on the swing and looked out into the yard. Duke hiked his leg and took a piss on
the big tree that shaded the front of the house. Tag could picture a swing
hanging from one of the branches. The thought made his smile.

Erik
asked, “Why are you smiling?” The doctor’s normally beautiful face was filled
with stress. Tag had never hit a woman in his life, but he wanted to slap Sarah
for doing this to Erik. He reached over and threaded his fingers through
Erik’s.

“I
was thinking how that’s the perfect tree for a swing.”

Erik
turned and looked at the tree. “Sure is. I don’t think Delilah will be swinging
in three months’ time. She won’t grow that fast.”

“No,
but eventually she’ll be big enough.” He wanted Erik to start thinking about a
future together.

From
out of the blue, Erik asked, “Why joint guardianship? What were you thinking?”

Tag
was tired. He didn’t want to argue or hash out anything else today. “Kiss me.”

“What?”

“Please,
Erik. I’ve had a fucked up miserable day, and I need to feel you.”

Erik
leaned against Tag’s shoulder and pressed their lips together. He didn’t deepen
the kiss. Neither did Tag. When he pulled back, Erik placed his forehead
against Tag’s. Tag closed his eyes, enjoying the moment. “Because you’re the
best person I know. If something were to happen to me, I want the peace of mind
knowing who will take care of her. I meant what I said earlier, you’re going to
make a great father. You already are.” Erik’s eyes widened as if he didn’t
believe Tag. Instead of arguing, Erik changed topics.

“Who
fucked up your day? Let me guess… Cade.”

‘Yeah,
but hopefully I’ve straightened him out. Seems like our best friends don’t
think we know what we’re doing.”

Erik
was silent as they rocked back and forth. Delilah squirmed and cooed. She was
getting more vocal, and Tag couldn’t wait until she was old enough to talk. He
couldn’t imagine conversations with a child.

“What
are
we doing?” Erik asked.

Tag
answered honestly, “I’m trying to get through the next three months of my life
with my sanity in check. Then I’m going to start a new chapter. Hell, I’m going
to start a whole new book, fresh with new characters. I’ve already found my
Prince Charming and the Princess. I guess, though, if she’s the Princess, you’d
be King. Hmmm. I’m not really Queen material. Since this is my story, and I’m
the author, it’s going to be a new age fairy tale. Two Kings it is.”

Erik
didn’t return Lee’s smile. “Seriously. What are you doing? I understand how you
feel right now. Seeing you holding her makes my heart soar. Thinking of her
running around the yard, chasing Duke, swinging in that tree when she’s older?
That’d be a dream come true. But this isn’t a fairy tale, Lee. This is real
life. And real life never turns out like you think it will.” Erik stopped
swinging, took Delilah, and went in the house.