Authors: Penelope Fletcher
A finger tapped my chin up. I tried
not to cry, and looked away from Breandan’s knowing gaze. I did not
want to feel comforted.
“
We will be with you,” he
said softly.
“
To the end,” Conall
added.
Their words held so much love yet they
gave little comfort.
“
Tell me what to do.
Please. Point me on the right direction because I’m lost, Conall.
I’m sinking and I can’t pull myself out. Something inside me is
dead, festering. I can’t reach that place where everything is okay.
I see darkness and it kills me.” I closed my eyes. “Lex is dead;
she is dead because of me. Maeve nearly died because of me.
Breandan nearly died because of me. Why aren’t you seeing a pattern
yet?” My voice became angry at the end. “I’m no good at this. I’ll
fail.”
Breandan said something in a low voice
to my brother. He replied curtly and stood, patted me twice on the
head lightly. The gesture was so joyous you would think I’d told
him a storm was blowing in.
“
All will be well,” he
said. He seemed to consider something for a long time then his
muscled chest heaved with a sigh. “Rae, the trail has gone
cold.”
The abrupt switch in conversation
topic had me scrambling around for a moment before my anger bubbled
and churned. “You’re lying.” Even as I said the words I flushed,
but kept my stare defiant.
Fairies could not lie – except for me,
and I had been told eventually even I would be bound to speak
nothing but the truth. A fairy’s word once given was law. So my
previous statement had been churlish at best.
Conall ignored the comment, flicking
his hand through the air as if brushing his hurt aside. “Give me
time.” He speared Breandan with a warning glare. “She needs sleep.”
Then he was gone.
Chapter Two
I stared after Conall and pressed my
lips together.
“
He will find the trail if
it is to be found,” Breandan said after a terse pause. “We have had
so little time to talk and to be together … will you not look at
me?”
I exhaled through my nose and fisted
my hands on my knees. Turning so I faced him I nodded once. This
was true. We had had no time to get to know one another, and surely
it would do no harm to forget about Devlin and focus solely on the
boy in front of me.
With a hot flush creeping up my neck,
and a too hard thump of my heart, I realized this might be harder
than I first thought. I was … shy. He was intimidating, and though
I should feel comfortable with him when I tried to meet his gaze my
eyes fell to his lap. I got uncomfortable because I stared at his
crotch, but then I started to think about staring at him so
blatantly, and it made me curious as to what his reaction would be,
so then I did stare on purpose.
Breandan said and did nothing. He
watched me quietly, and was seemingly content to just sit with
me.
I could not fathom why I wanted to rub
myself all over him. The urge was starkly primitive and astounded
me even as I acknowledged how absurd such a thought was. Wasn’t I
supposed to want him to kiss and caress me tenderly? What I wanted
could in no way be considered tender.
I was not brave enough to stroke him
so boldly – yet – still gripped in the vice of my own
embarrassment. Scooting close, jerkily, I placed my fisted my hands
on his shoulders and waited for him to take the lead.
He noted my silence and hesitation
with the briefest of smiles. He trailed his fingers over the base
of my wing pinion making me gasp and arch into him. I trembled. My
face hovered in front of his, so close his eyelashes brushed the
curve of my cheek. I trembled again.
He blinked and asked, “Are you
frightened?”
I gulped and found myself unable to
hold his gaze, liquid silver and shimmering with amusement. I was a
whole lot of things, but frightened was not one of them.
“
You’re going to have to
work for me,” I said breathless, and backed up until I was half
crouched. My lungs filled properly and I felt light headed. I
lifted my chin. “You want me? Come get me.”
There was a beat where he withdrew
from me completely. My awareness of him winked into nothing and his
face clouded over. I felt a split second of panic that swiftly
became wariness. Breandan stood, uncoiling from his seat oh so
slowly, and paced forward. His nature exploded in a gush of heat
and fierce possession to suffocate my own into obedience. Still not
willing to bend, panting, I stepped back and held up a hand in
warning. He took another measured step and grabbed my
hand.
“
Are you sure you want to
play this game?” he asked in a rough voice that had my eyes
widening and my stomach clenching tight.
He had a feral way about him I’d not
seen before and I felt his nature caress mine in such a way it
would have been indecent if he decided to mirror in the touch as a
physical manifestation. He brought my hand to his mouth and kissed
each of my fingertips before bringing my baby finger into his mouth
and biting it gently.
“
You are most beautiful to
me Rae,” he murmured and did it again, harder this time.
Dazed, I tried to catch his eye.
“Say-say?” The high chime of my voice had taken on a new quality.
It was throaty, husky even.
His expression was intense and he
cupped my face in his hands like I was delicate, but he did not
repeat himself, and I was more interested in touching than taking.
I moved forward, pushed him back down so I could straddle his lap.
My face felt hot but I was determined to see this through. Leaning
into him, I rubbed my cheek against his and made a soft hum at the
back of my throat. The sensation of his firmer skin stroking
against mine felt good. I shuddered and leaned forward further to
rub my entire torso against him, aware of the soft curves of my
body as they glided against the rigidity of his. He pushed back and
I made a noise – my thigh muscles tightening around his – and
acting purely on instinct, enthralled by the sight of his skin
pulsing faintly the tip of my tongue flicked out to slide over his
earlobe.
His body froze and he choked on his
own air mid breath. And I swear even his heart skipped a beat under
my palm.
Pulling back slightly so I could look
down on his rigid profile, I waited; worried I had pushed it too
far.
With maddening slowness, he placed a
hand on my waist and another on the nape of my neck. He pulled my
head down and my lips met his. I moaned, a sound that reflected the
ache I had heard about – but never felt before – spreading across
my hips. We kissed softly – lips barely touching – almost as if he
was sampling. Then it changed and Breandan pushed me down on the
yellowed grass and grazed his teeth along my neck, shoulders,
running his hands all over me. I arched into him, loving his weight
over me. He was hot, skin ablaze, and when he touched me the fire
licked from his fingertips. I pulled him closer, wanting not the
slightest space between us. It was natural for my legs to lock
around his back by the ankles, hands tugging at the waistband of
his trousers. Breandan’s hand pushed my dress up and he stroked my
navel, lower. I made a noise and bit his lip. It was inexperienced
and my caresses were more of an enthusiastic fumble, but I did not
care. Gods, I did not care.
Then he was gone and I was groping the
air, legs cocked skyward. I must have looked like an upturned
beetle. He was sitting up face a dull shade of red and body strung
tight like a bowstring.
“
I apologize,” he said
quietly. “I should not have let things get so out of
hand.”
Annoyed, I rolled onto my stomach and
snatched up a twig. I scratched sharp, jagged shapes into the dirt.
Stabbing and prodding the earth in front of me with my hand balled
into a fist.
“
Rae….”
“
Just don’t,
Breandan.”
The ache was still there. Was there an
off switch? Why did I still feel all squirmy and warm?
Sighing, I threw the twig away and
twisted into my back so I could see the sky. A few birds zipped
past and I saw something small and furry clambering its way up a
tree trunk. I closed my eyes and rubbed my face on the grass,
wishing it were something else … rather someone else. The grass
prickled my skin making me itchy and released a nutty fragrance as
they did so. I stretched, enjoying the feeling of the muscles in my
lower back and arms popping. I had been scrunched up so tight
against him, locked in a bubble of breathy moans and hushed
whispers, that lying there felt ungainly.
Already the niggle I felt whenever he
was not touching me became uncomfortable. Ana the white witch had
warned what could happen if we were separated for too long. I was
not sure I was ready to put her words to the test. That and the
story of the couple that had bonded before us had scared the crap
out of me. The last time the nexus had opened between Breandan and
I, there had been intense light. We had only been apart a matter of
minutes. Only the gods knew what would happen if it was to open
when we had been apart for hours. Surely we needed to practice
being apart to gain some kind of control over this connection
between us.
I inhaled through my nose and exhaled
through my mouth. I remained still and focused on being calm. This
was a new feeling – the want – but I had spent years controlling my
nature without knowing what I was doing – that I was repressing the
fairy in me. This was just another urge to control.
Breandan touched my ankle lightly. The
ache lessened and the annoying niggles telling me to seek him out
faded. Gritting my teeth I ignored him.
It was true what Conall said. I did
feel stronger, healthier when I was near woods. Here was my natural
habitat. Here, I could let my senses roam and relax the constant
hold on my fairy nature. I could be as feral and strange as I
wanted.
I blinked slowly and my lids took a
long time to lift back up. The second time my lids closed and
stayed closed. I blinked them open slowly. I was tired and with
this admission, I felt disgruntled. Breandan did not look tired at
all and I was sure he’d been up much longer than I had. And he’d
expended more energy. My eyes felt heavy and I pinched my leg but
it did nothing but to leave a pain dulled by sleepiness. Then I
noticed that the sun was winking out of sight, and that my sudden
sleepiness may not be entirely natural. Was the dark was calling to
me? I shot up and swayed when my body fought for me to lie my heavy
head back down. I did not want to sleep. I wanted to stay awake,
but the dark called, I was certain of it. With a small sense of
shock, I realized I was frightened. I immediately reached to place
my hands on Breandan’s shoulders and held on tightly, my past
resolve to not touch him forgotten.
With a soft sigh of relief, he pulled
me onto his lap and held me close. “Let your body rest,” he
murmured.
“
I don’t want to. The last
time I slept I dreamed of,” I paused briefly, “I dreamed of Tomas
then when I woke he was there.” I was not afraid of my vampire, but
of what happened to me whenever he was near. He confused me, spun
me about, and it was easier if he was elsewhere.
“
That will not happen
again. I have you, rest.”
Pressing a kiss to my temple Breandan
gathered me closer in his arms, happy to openly show his affection
now we were alone. I noticed that he did not like to be all over me
in the company of others. I wondered if that was a fairy thing or a
Breandan thing.
Resting my head of his warm, bare
shoulder my eyes fluttered closed. I listened to his steady
breathing, felt the solid pounding of his heart under my palm.
Weariness wrapped round my limbs and tugged. The tentacles of sleep
slithered into my mind and a wave of fatigued pulled me under,
tumbling, tumbling into the inky depths of darkness.
Then I raced through the
forest. I did not the wind on my face or the earth beneath my feet.
That was the trouble with being dead; you could not feel anything
anymore. How had she managed to warm my heart when it had been cold
for over a century?
My stomach clenched
painfully. I was hungry, starving. My throat burned and my mouth
was dry as ash. Without thinking, I honed in on a heartbeat,
strong, pumping thick hot blood through veins.
I breathed in deeply and
scented the trail.
Then I saw her, picking
some berries. I laughed darkly to myself. One so young and pretty
should not be left to gather food by herself.
I quickly and quietly tread
closer, so careful. She was not human and would be able to hear or
smell me if I made too sudden a movement.
Closer still, I
moved.
Her heartbeat sounded like
thunder.
She smelled delicious and
my mouth watered. My stomach cramped, squeezing tighter. The hunger
was so acute I thought it would drive me mad.
My fangs ran out and I
licked the sharp points. I hummed with anticipation of burying my
teeth into her neck and ripping away the flesh. Drinking, slurping,
and licking until the burning ache was satisfied. My hands
shook.