Demon Day (8 page)

I needed to
feed.

Hand poised to pick another
berry she paused, stiffened.

I stood still and silent.
She would not hear me, I did not breathe, nor did I sweat. I
carried no scent apart from an earthy-mineral fragrance she would
attribute to a plant in the forest.

She sniffed deeply then
shrugged, and went back to her gathering.

Slinking forward, I made no
sound. I clasped a hand over her mouth to cover her scream and spun
her round. I held her terrified gaze with my own. She stilled. I
felt her relax under my grip and I let her go. “You are safe,” I
thought into her head. Her body trembled and her mind shifted,
fought to break from my hold. I controlled it and pushed away her
free will. “You are safe,” I thought again and pulled her closer. I
did not waste time in lulling her into a deeper calm. Fairies were
strong and compulsion never held their minds for long.

She went willingly into my
arms and sighed as I bit into her.

The blood was wet, thick
and tasted rich with earthy undertones. I drank it greedily,
already feeling warmth spread through my entire body. I fed from
her and gently moved down with her as her body went limp. Her
heartbeat stared to fail. I held on, wanting to savor every
drop.

She was pure-blooded
fairy.

Delicious.

Lost in the peace of the
moment, I felt something, someone. A familiar presence I would know
for the rest of my days. Rae? Was she here, with me? No. I pushed
the feeling away. She had left me, gone with the fairy male. I did
not want her, and I did not care if I would die. Just being with
her had nearly cost me my life.

She was supposed to be
salvation.

And that was what made my
heart bleed. So pure a girl would turn her back on everything to
save me. A murderer, a true demon bound to his bloodlust, a slave
to pain and desire. How could she want a thing like me was not
something I understood … yet I did understand the incomprehensible
need to have her near me, as I was sure she felt it too. I needed
to see her, feel her beneath me. I wanted to own her, to take her,
and reveal the beauty of the darkness we could share.

I would go to her. I would
take her away and make her mine. I could still make it work; it
need not be the end of her if she came with me.

The girl went still beneath
my hands.

Her heart stopped
beating.

*

My eyes opened, and I stared into
Breandan’s face. From my position, I could see his jaw, clenched,
his lips pressed together in concentration. He shifted and looked
down at me, aware I was now awake.

“
You left your body,” he
said, voice strained. “I tried to wake you, but you would not
return. Where did you go?”

“
I– I’m not sure,” I
lied.

I had to swallow hard, for my tongue
seemed to thicken as I said the words. I know exactly where I had
been and what I had seen, but surely, a lie to soothe is better
than hurting with the truth.

“
For a time, I couldn’t
even feel you. Our bond was smothered by darkness.”

The words tore at my heart and I
clutched him to me. “You’ll n–n….” I struggled with the lie. “Never
lose me, Breandan.”

He stiffened. “Your find it harder to
lie now.”

I buried my head in his shoulder. “I
don’t want to hurt you,” I said. “I want you to feel like you can
trust me.”

“
It’ll take time for you to
get used to being truthful.” He paused. “Of course soon you will
have no choice. It would be better for you if you tried to speak
only the truth. Alright?” I nodded. “Besides,” he continued in a
light voice. “You are older than me. You should be setting a good
example.”

I snorted. “Yeah, two hundred years
senior. How does that work again?”

His brows mashed together. “This
upsets you.”

Hell yes. I slid off his lap onto the
soft grass. “You don’t have to declare my mood to the world each
time you figure me out.”

His head cocked. “Now you’re mad.” I
gritted my teeth. Breandan ran a finger down the bridge of my nose,
over my pressed lips and tense jaw. “So angry,” he
murmured.

He let his touch wander down the side
my neck, brush lightly over my collarbone. A brief hesitation
before his hand stoked the swell of my breast. I gasped. He
chuckled and clamped his big hands over my upper arms to pull me
closer. His eyes – two pools of iridescent light – flicked over my
features as if he could not chose which to settle upon. My heart
thumped in my chest as his head lowered and his tongue shot out to
lick my bottom lip. He made a humming noise at the back of his
throat, like the one I made, but his was almost questioning. Before
I could dwell on how odd it was he pressed his lips to mine. Most
might have been gentle or had tried to go in softly so not to scare
me, but Breandan was a force of all his own, and he had decided he
wanted to kiss me. His mouth latched onto mine tongue entwined
around my own with enough skill and finesse to have me groaning
into his mouth. Instinct. The more it guided me the more I gave it
free reign – especially if the pay off was going to feel so damn
good each time.

I tried to move closer but his hands
clamped down on my arms kept me still. He pulled away to kiss the
side of my neck. His attention had diverted from passion to
something else.

He said, “You seem tense.”

I held still and waited and when no
further explanation was forth coming I replied, “It doesn’t matter,
please, don’t stop.”

“
Tell the truth. Of whom
did you dream?” His eyes sparked, daring me to lie.

Flushing, I shifted and my head
drooped, but he did not release his hold. Instead of feeling
protected, I felt smothered, but I explained my dream in a
reluctant mutter as truthfully as I could. As I spoke, he became
increasingly tense. His grip on my arms hurt, but I did not want
him to let go of me, so I kept that to myself. When I told him of
the last thought – that Tomas wanted me and intended to claim me –
his entire body quaked and his grip became so painful I could not
hide it. When he realized he relaxed, rubbed my arms, and there was
an apology in the touch.

“
That thing will never have
you,” he grated. “His time grows short.”

The thought of these two boys clashing
had my heart shrinking to the size of a raisin – all shriveled up
and black. I still disliked the idea of Tomas being closed off to
me forever. It seemed wrong, final.

“
I would rather you didn’t
say things like that,” I said quietly. “Can’t you see that as much
as our bonding was unplanned so is this connection Tomas and I
share?”

Gaze locked on the middle distance
Breandan was hung up on something else. “I only have myself to
blame,” he murmured. He was frowning again, and I sighed as I used
the pad of my forefinger to smooth the furrows. A tingle from the
contact ran down my body and my eyes closed briefly as I savored
the feeling. “I was so anxious to get away from you I didn’t pay
attention.” He looked at me, apologetic. “Had I simply waited a
moment more and focused on you rather than how inconvenient my
feelings were I would have known he was there. Had I taken you back
to Temple he never would have had his chance to….” His eyes drifted
closed and he whispered, “Sometimes I wish he had been overcome and
bitten you from the first moment he saw you. Had he spilt your
blood I would have known it and returned. Instead of seeking him
out you would now be afraid. But our bond was still so new, and my
head was in turmoil–”

I cut in, waved my hand to bat away
his words. “You were guarding the amulet of protection. I
understand. No harm done.”

The despair in his eyes was
heartbreaking. How could he blame himself for something that was
not even an issue? I understood there was bad blood between the
vampires and the fairies, but Tomas had helped us – helped him. I
leaned forward. “I know you think you failed me.” I placed my palm
to his cheek and made sure I held his gaze. “You didn’t. You never
have and I fear you never will. That’s what makes your feelings for
me so unbelievable, y’know. I don’t deserve you and I’m worried no
matter how hard I try that I never will.”

“
Every day I like what and
who I am less and less,” he whispered more quietly than before,
“because I know you wish for a different life. And I cannot give it
to you.”

“
You can’t change our
destiny. I know that.”

His hand covered mine and he leaned
into my palm. His silvery lashes gleamed against his creamy skin.
“But you also know that I cannot run from it. It is not in my
nature though I know it is in yours.”

I swallowed. No, I could not run from
it, my destiny was a sphere of knowing I could never outrun. I was
the Priestess and had to bring my kind back from the abyss lest the
rest of demonkind spiral out of control. Always did I panic and
tell anyone who would listen that I could not, would not do it.
Never did I sit up and take the control offered to me from all
those who would pledge to follow me. My fear was a blanket I hid
behind to mask the truth. I had no motivation to help anyone unless
it directly meant it would make Breandan happy. How sick was that?
The only reason I did anything was to impress him … to make him
proud of me.

How could I be this legendary being if
I thought solely about my own happiness, and that of my
mate?

Breandan was strong. He faced all
challenges with grim determination and did not stop until he was
victorious. He went into every confrontation on his own terms,
certain that he would succeed. I was dragged into situations
kicking and screaming like a child. Lochlann himself had said I
bawled like one. I flushed at the memory. Why had I not been ready
to fight and avenge my friend? It should not have been Conall
exacting payment for Lex’s life it should have been me. So now, to
make myself feel better I was attaching myself to Conall’s heels as
he chased Devlin across the region, using the Tribe’s need for the
grimoire as an excuse to out run my real responsibilities. How
shameful and self absorbed. Worse, I still could not find it in my
heart to feel bad about feeling and thinking in such a
way.

“
Is that is why you saved
him?”

“
Say-say?” I asked trying
to pick up the conversational thread I’d dropped.

Breandan watched me with a curios
expression. “You saved the vampire because you think his destiny is
entwined with yours?” He no longer sounded angry or disgusted,
merely confused, suspicious even.

I titled my head slightly, my hair
falling over my shoulder and into my eyes. “I saved him because I
care about him.” I thought hard on how I felt, what I felt. “He
feels different to you.” I faint shudder rippled through me. “I
won’t lie, he does scare me. He is … dangerous, I think. But there
is something that I can’t help but like about him. Even if my
nature shivers at what he is, who he is appeals to me in a way you
can’t.” I looked guiltily down at my lap. The honesty was good, but
it was embarrassing.

“
The darkness,” Breandan
said matter of fact. “Compulsion.”

I pushed at my hair and blew out a
short breath through my nose. “It doesn’t work on us.” I was firm
in this conviction. “He can’t manipulate me that way.”

“
The blood tie makes you
vulnerable to him in a way none of our kind has been to one of his.
I cannot assure you what you feel is genuine. Only the gods know
how he can bend or invade your mind.” His lips twisted. “Even if I
could lie to make you feel better I wouldn’t.”

“
Does feeling drawn to his
darkness make me bad,” I asked quietly, terrified of his answer. “I
mean, Devlin is evil, but I’m not evil just for wanting to be close
to the dark. I’m not evil.” There was that heavy silence again. “Am
I?”

Breandan said nothing.

I jerked up out of his hold, and
marched away from him. Pacing a small circle, I yanked at my hair a
few times. What? Had I expected him to cuddle me, and tell me I was
perfect, and as innocent as newborn babe? Of course, he would not
say anything. He could not lie. And why should he comfort or give
confidence for me to explore the blood tie. What self-respecting
male would?

I stopped my pacing and stood over
him. He shifted up and crossed his legs, resting his arms loosely
on his knees.

Instead of conceding that he was
within his right to fight for me I said, “I wish you could
lie.”

“
No,” he replied. “You wish
you could lie to yourself.”

“
Can’t you say something to
make me feel better?” I brushed my hands over my arms, as if wiping
dirt. “Cleaner?”

“
It is my purpose to keep
order. I won’t encourage a delusion, even if it pains me not to do
so.”

“
I’m not a bad person,” I
said crossly. “I deserve to have you make me feel better when I’m
feeling insecure. I’ve lost my best friend. Can’t you bend a
little?”

He sighed. “What could I possibly say
that would make you feel better after what happened to your
friend?”