Denying Ecstasy (The Guardians of the Realms Series) (18 page)

“Tell me you’re okay? Tell me I haven’t hurt you?” His eyes were filled with pained horror as he looked down at her. His hips continued to thrust deep, and she whimpered, needing to come again, not caring about the bruises she’d have later.

“More,” she moaned as he continued to fill her. His chest came down over her, his hands cradling her head while his hips rocked, slipping his cock over nerves that were deep inside her. Some hidden place that made her pulse around him. He managed to hold her gently while his groans grew more animalistic. The sound mixed with the slick smacking of their bodies connecting. The noises coming from them drowned out the small waterfall and the screeching of the big four-poster bed rocking beneath them. It was so intense and all-consuming she bit his shoulder as she came hard, pulsing around him again.

“Fuck, the way you clamp down—”

She felt the moment he came. It was like an electric current pulsed inside her, igniting those hidden nerves all over again. She shot over the edge, crying out as she came over and over, her body bucking against his as she clawed his back. His cock throbbed as he continued to thrust, his body shuddering above her. They both came in another heated climax that would have shot her out of the bed if he wasn’t on top of her, holding her down with his bulk. She cried out as that current electrified her again. The complete ecstasy of it caused spots to line her vision. She took deep breaths and fought to keep from passing out beneath him. Her ears rang, but she managed to fight back unconsciousness, barely.

She held onto him; she couldn’t let go. She’d buried her face in his warm slick chest, and she thanked the Creators he couldn’t see her emotionally bleeding out. She couldn’t let go of him until she got it together. She realized that he had to be holding his full weight off of her or she’d be suffocating, and she closed her eyes. She felt his hands tunneling in her hair, massaging her scalp. Holding her head against him tenderly. The soft comfort only added to the crazed aftereffects of what they’d done. She’d never felt anything like it, and it left her more exposed and vulnerable than she’d ever been. Now that the frenzy was fed and her mind was free to feel the full impact of what she’d done, she felt splayed wide. Every bit of her, not just her body. It was like her soul was leaking out all over the bed. She couldn’t look into his eyes, self-preservation had her avoiding the truth of their situation. She refused to be ripped apart by reality so soon after feeling something so magical. Her fingers were embedded in his back, and she didn’t care. Knew he could take it.

She opened her eyes, hating her weakness. She was not this person. She was strong and defiant; she didn’t hide. She took a deep breath and pried her stiff fingers from his skin. She hardened her heart and readied herself for whatever shitty thing he planned to say or do next. Now that her mind had some control back, she realized that he would have said anything to screw her. She was a naïve idiot if she thought any of the sweet words were real.

He kissed her hair, throwing her off her game. “Don’t,” was all he said before lifting his body from hers. Pulling from her body, it felt like a limb was being torn from her. He wrapped the blanket around her chest, and a towel flitted into his hand a few seconds later. His Guardian powers at work. His come was all over the inside of her thighs, and she closed her eyes for a split second. “Let me clean you up, Rain.” The words were soft, he was still acting sweet, and she didn’t know what to do with that. She had to get a grip. The blanket was moved, and her thighs spread automatically when the towel touched her mound. She was shocked her body obeyed him so easily. It had to be exhaustion making her weak and easy to manipulate.

She saw his jaw clamp down tight as he gently cleaned up the mess. She didn’t have the energy to sit up, so she didn’t. She just let him cover her back up, and she took another deep breath, bracing for it. She was too strung out to fling insults, but had no doubt they were coming. They’d gone from fighting and hating each other to mind-blowing sex that felt like so much more than it could be.

He blew out a breath and rubbed a hand over his face as he sat on the edge of the bed.

“I’m not going to fight you, Rain, and it was a lot more than mind-blowing.” He inhaled again, and she braced for it. He looked at her, and she saw regret shining back, so strong it gutted her. “I know you’re in pain. I know you hurt.” He swallowed, and the look on his face was more agonized than before. “I’ll have Sirena come check you.”

Her mouth dropped open in shock. “No, you will not. Yes, I’m sore, but I’m not injured and in need of a healer.” How did he even know she was hurting? She hadn’t said anything. Had she flinched when he cleaned her up? No. He’d been answering her thoughts.

“Damn it, Dorian! Are you in my head?” Had he heard everything? She was mortified, couldn’t even breathe.

“Yes, you’re broadcasting. I couldn’t help but hear.” He at least sounded contrite.

Her heartbeat faltered, and she choked out, “The whole time?”

“Yes.” He sounded like he would have denied it if he could, and she wished he had. Her thoughts had been so vulnerable, raw. She looked away.

He leaned over her, looking worried and uncertain. His forehead touched hers. “You have every right to be angry with me.”

Hell yeah, she had every right! His lips tilted, obviously hearing her thoughts, and she frowned, gearing up to rip into him.

“Rain, I’m so much stronger than you. I’ll help you with a shield, but knowing what you were thinking was all that kept me sane while I claimed you. I couldn’t do it sooner, I was too out of control, and at the end I was too worried about your pain. I wanted to hear it all. I’m so sorry.”

He kissed her lips gently, but she was out of sorts, split open again. It was an invasion. How would he have felt if she was in his head?

“You’re right. I’m sorry, and I’ll find a way to make it up to you.”

Her heart clenched in her chest, and then his hands went to her head, and she felt him in there. It felt like a screen sliding up, and her thoughts echoed for a split second. Safe. Her thoughts were safe.

“When did it start?”

“The minute I picked you up in Paradeisos.” Okay, so not every time he was in her head spying on her through the last two weeks.

“If you won’t let me have Sirena look at you, I’ll take you to the hot spring. You can yell at me and make me beg for forgiveness while it helps ease the pain.” He still looked so damned concerned, and he cringed while giving her permission to rail at him. Not that she needed it.

Who was this male? Was it a trick? She blew out a breath, realizing just how paranoid she sounded.

He lifted her into his arms, blanket and all.

“I’m perfectly capable of walking.” Maybe. She was sore.

“I’d rather carry you.” Those words, mixed with the sound of his voice, shouldn’t have made her soften, but they kind of did. She hardened her heart. He’d done and said some horrible things, too much to just let go. And even though she understood his reasons for listening to her thoughts, it was still a huge invasion that hit when she was at her most vulnerable. She firmed her jaw, but she was slowly losing the fight against exhaustion. Her eyes felt heavy; the hot springs sounded good. She’d rip into him once they were settled in the water.

“Fine.” If he wanted to carry her, she just didn’t care. The idea of walking seemed too daunting anyway.

He carried her through a hidden part of the rock wall into a dark tunnel. She couldn’t see much but the iridescent rock lining the walls. She nearly snorted. She couldn’t have walked down the tunnel if she wanted to. Not without feeling for each step with her toes and probably eating it hard. Would it have really killed him to put in a damn light? She got so irritated when her mortal limitations were thrown in her face lately. It never bothered her before, but now it did.

Chapter 14

Dorian’s Island, Tetartos Realm

Dorian was grateful the manor staff cleaned his place occasionally. He’d built the place well over a century and a half ago and hadn’t been there since Cahal’s death. Instead, he’d constructed a home that was similar on Earth. He’d refused to live in a Realm he hated. Since taking Rain to his Earth home hadn’t been an option, he’d brought her there. He’d had no desire to claim her in his suite at the manor, or even in her tiny cottage.

What did he do now? The hidden tunnel was dark as he walked her down to the cavern below. He hated himself, he’d hurt her, yet he was bastard enough to want her again. His dick bobbed against her back as he took each step.

“How far is it? You’re not thinking of leaving me there, right?” Suspicion and irritation laced her tone.

He blew out a breath. He’d pushed her away, said shitty things so that she’d hate him. She might not actually hate him, but he managed to make his life a hell of a lot more difficult. Shaking his head, he followed the tunnel, offended that she thought he’d leave her in a cavern.

It looked as if he’d just begun groveling. He couldn’t stop the growl infused in the words. “I’m not leaving you anywhere.”

She was wrapped up in the soft blanket, yet he still felt her heat through the material. She smelled of his come; it mixed with her own sexy scent that had been rocking him from the beginning.

He wished to hell that he could hear her thoughts again. They’d been like a physical blow to the gut, but at least he knew what was going on in her head. He hadn’t considered her pain or dreams when he’d run. He assumed she’d be better off without the danger that came with being close to a Guardian. He still smelled Cahal’s blood on his skin. It haunted him, yet now he was taking what his friend would never have. Guilt churned his gut.

Being in her head showed him just how fucking perfect she was in every damn way. She was everything his brothers said, worthy, loyal, strong… His.

Every muscle in his body ached from holding back when he’d claimed her intoxicating little body. She was his to protect and care for, yet it was nearly impossible to temper his strength with her.

“Where are we?”

“My island on Tetartos.”

“I thought you lived on Earth.” She sounded… disappointed? He knew her business was selling Earth items; did she hope he’d taken her to the other Realm?

“I do. I used to live here. When I moved…” He cleared his throat. “I built a home almost like it on the sister island there.”

The passage was steep. The wide steps were carved into the rock, and he was thankful he’d made the space wide enough to carry her down. He wouldn’t want her walking after he’d abused her sweet little pussy. He hadn’t been able to stop; he’d never been so rough with a mortal and was shocked he wasn’t feeling the pain with her. Mageia were technically evolved humans, and a Guardian couldn’t harm one without suffering. Maybe he was overreacting, but he’d feel better getting her into the soothing warm water of the springs. He would make it up to her. He would be fucking gentle with her if it killed him. He’d hold back the wild instincts of his beast.

“You’ve been in my head.” It wasn’t a question. He knew that the next hours, days, maybe even weeks would be filled with her itemizing all the shit he’d screwed up. She had every right to. She didn’t know him or his reasons.

“Yes.” Not something he was proud to admit.

“Why?”

“It just happened.” He cleared his throat. He owed her after being in her head, but sharing wasn’t natural for him. “After I nearly claimed you in the hallway, I knew we’d formed the mental link, but it was barely there.” He paused. “I didn’t realize I’d be able to see through your eyes.”

“Just happened… What did you see?” she asked. Was her voice huskier, or was his dick just hopeful?

“Whatever you saw.”

She let out a little yawn and then rested her head against his shoulder. Was she going to fall asleep in his arms after everything? She felt so small, vulnerable, and something inside him had changed since claiming her. He never wanted to put her down. He felt his life force so close to the skin, pushing to get out. It wanted to combine with hers. They were connected in a way he knew was only going to get stronger. He took a deep breath.

Hearing her thoughts while claiming her was what caused his change. It wasn’t just the sex, though that had been more than the mind-blowing she’d called it. No, it was her. She was special. Guilt slammed him hard from all the pain he’d caused. He’d known how young and innocent she was, yet she had a core of strength that belied that youth. She’d been trying to honor the mating when she thought he hated her and was fucking any female that moved. She was everything a mate should be, loyal, strong, beautiful and so fucking sweet. Inside and out. The things he wanted to do to her, damn. He nearly groaned. Her pussy was a treat he planned to enjoy every day of their lives.

His heart had almost split open hearing just how low he’d made her feel. He would never let that happen again. He may not deserve a mate, and she may not deserve a male that failed those around him, but the choice wasn’t theirs. He was responsible for her, and he would care for her and make up for the things he’d done.

If only he could just spend his days eating her sweet pussy until she forgave him. His lips tilted for a split second. He didn’t think burying his face between her thighs would make her forgive that he’d been in her mind hearing her at her most vulnerable. It had been intense. Her body had trembled in shock, and her fingers had dug into his skin. She’d thought it was magical and forced herself to be strong and ready for him to hurt her again.

“Is something wrong? You just tensed.” He heard the dread in her voice and cursed.

“I’ll make it all up to you, nymph,” he whispered and kissed her hair. Her small intake of breath was all he heard before the cavern opened up in front of them. It was full of rock formations, more brightly lit than the tunnel had been. The ceiling was high, and steam filtered up from the far pool. He walked around the side.

“The big pool below has tunnels that go out to the sea.” He watched as she looked around. “I’ll take you that way one day.” He felt her move and saw her looking up at him. So beautiful. He wanted to taste her lips again. Suck on the pouty lower one.