Read Depression: Looking Up from the Stubborn Darkness Online
Authors: Edward T. Welch
I’m going to stop you for a second. Can you hear what’s happening? The more you talk, the more you despair. I can see it in you. In fact, I can feel it in myself. Here is a plan. From now on, when I see the wave of depressive and, actually, unbiblical interpretations of life crashing down on you, I am going to point it out and try to run from it with you.R
There is more to persevering than you thought. It is not simply a word that appears briefly in Scripture. It is a powerful, deeply spiritual response to struggles that don’t quickly disappear. When we persevere with one another, we are imitating one of the glorious facets of the character of God.
It is here, in persevering with someone who struggles with depression, where you have the advantage over the experts. Experts consult; then move on. Friends and family keep at it.
Yes, depression can eat at the heart of a relationship, but you also might notice God’s blessing as you persevere. “Looking back, I would say that sticking with the person you love through the stressful dramas of mood disorder can eventually be incredibly rewarding.”
3
The word “ordinary” has come up often. This is not to diminish in any way the beauty and power of Spirit-driven ministry because God’s work is always extraordinary. It is, however, to emphasize that God has determined that we will best encourage one another through means that don’t demand technical expertise. Scripture’s wisdom is public domain. If we start to say things that draw attention to our own insights and wisdom, we are probably missing the normal means God uses to change us.
Each person is different. A story that clicked for one person might be incomprehensible to the next. A strategy that seemed essential for you might be meaningless for someone else. Therefore, the following lists of ideas are intended to prime the pump rather than serve as an endless to-do list. They are specific ideas that have helped other depressed people.
The first list comes from people who were once depressed. They were asked to finish this sentence: “I felt like things began to change when ... .”
This second list consists of things that
were not
helpful. “It was not helpful when ... .”
The following list contains homework assignments and specific strategies that have been helpful for some people.
Now, with the pump primed, what would you add to these lists?
Rochelle had gone through depression often enough to detect some patterns. Not everyone can do that, but the older you get the more you can identify depression’s unique signature in your life. Rochelle knew that the window from November 15 to January 5 was a dangerous one. Maybe it was, in part, the cold weather, the shorter days, and fewer opportunities to be physically active, but it was definitely the holidays with their reminders of loss, broken relationships, and painful pasts. So on September 1st of every year she would call the church office and make an appointment with the pastor of congregational care. She would ask for an hour each week, starting as close to November 15 as possible.
She expects that God will feed her and teach her, in very practical ways, what it means to trust him during those fragile times, and he does.
Depression waxes and wanes. It can be ferocious for a short time and then recede into the background. It can be persistent for longer periods and then lose its grip, never to return. When it loses its intensity, the possibility that it is lying in wait can strike fear in the hearts of those who have been through it.
Like other human suffering, depression is difficult to predict. But even with its tendency to show up unannounced, there are still certain things you can expect.
One reason to listen to depression is that you will realize that it has a history. It usually emerges for a reason. If you think of your own history of depression, you can find early warnings. For example, physical warnings could include fatigue and sleep changes. You lost interest in food. Colors were not quite as vibrant, and you didn’t feel your usual responses to people and activities you once enjoyed. Spiritually, you might notice anger, loneliness, or a lack of comfort in remembering that the sovereign, loving God is in control.
Etch this in stone: if depression gives you an early warning—and it usually does—bring everything you have to the fight. Take your soul to task. Ask for help. Force-feed yourself Scripture and words of hope. Be on guard against self-pity, grumbling, and complaining. And keep the cross close at hand. If you let depression run its course, you will soon lose your vitality; you’ll surrender. But with practice, you will notice that you have more resources than you thought to ward off the worst of the depression.
A forty-year-old man who was prone to depressive swings wondered, as he noticed his deepening depression, “What will God teach me this time?” He was actually looking forward to what he would learn in God’s schoolroom.
If you are willing to be trained by it, expect depression to be a good teacher. That doesn’t mean that you should seek it out, and it certainly doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try to alleviate it. But most people who are willing to be taught by suffering look back and are grateful.
Those with chronic illnesses can testify.
Health is the best thing in the world except sickness. Indeed, knowing what God has done for me through physical weakness, and being persuaded that certain blessings could never have been given in any other way than through such an experience, I feel that it would have been nothing short of calamity to have missed the physical suffering through which I have passed.
1
After three years in a Japanese prisoner of war camp, a British officer who found Christ in that camp said something that only a follower of Christ could say.
“Well,” he said, “it’s all over. I wouldn’t have missed it for anything. True, it was rough. But I have learned an awful lot that I couldn’t have learned at university or anywhere else. For one, I’ve learned about the things of life that are real; and for another, I’ve learned that it is great to be alive.” ... Suffering no longer locked us up in the prison house of self-pity, but brought us into what Albert Schweitzer called the “fellowship of those who wear the mark of pain.” We looked at the cross and took strength from the knowledge that it gave us, the knowledge that God was in our midst.
2