Depression: Looking Up from the Stubborn Darkness (10 page)

Be
patient,
then, brothers, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. (James 5:7)

God could have ushered in the end times immediately after Jesus ascended into heaven, but, for various reasons, he has chosen to wait patiently.

Although opportunities to grow in perseverance are available every day, suffering is what makes perseverance a necessary skill.

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces
perseverance.
(Rom. 5:3)

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses [who have gone through suffering] let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with
perseverance
the race marked out for us. (Heb. 12:1)

The testing of your faith develops
perseverance.
(James 1:3)

As you know,
we consider blessed those who have persevered.
You have heard of Job’s
perseverance
and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy. (James 5:11)

Make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control,
perseverance;
and to
perseverance,
godliness. (2 Pet. 1:5–6)

If Jesus Christ learned obedience and endurance through what he suffered, why would we expect our lives to be different? Through our struggles and pain, we are being offered perseverance, the character of God. Hardships are intended to give us a spiritual makeover, “that we may share in his holiness” (Heb. 12:10). Therefore, when God encourages us to persevere, he is not stumbling for encouraging words. He is teaching us how to look like him.

Given this connection to the character of God, perseverance is not ordinary but glorious. Think about it for a moment. Let’s say you just heard a testimony from someone who said she had been depressed until God completely delivered her. She is, of course, ecstatic. But could it be that she was putting her trust in being healed rather than in the God who loves, forgives, perseveres, and heals?

Now consider another woman who has experienced deep depression. Her testimony is that she believes God is good, whether depression leaves or returns. She has learned to persevere in troubles and find contentment in God in the midst of them.
That
is a glorious testimony.

Perseverance isn’t flashy. It doesn’t call attention to itself. It looks like putting one foot in front of another. But beneath the surface, where few can see the glory, is something very profound (Rev. 2:2, 19). You are becoming more like God. God sees it, and he is pleased by it.

Perseverance is more than just making it through life until you die from natural causes. It is perseverance in faith and obedience. It is perseverance in our God-given purpose, even when life is very hard. Perseverance asks the question, “Today, how will I represent
God? How will I trust him and follow him in obedience?” Then it asks for help from others, cries out to the Lord, and looks for an opportunity to love. It may seem feeble, but our confidence is in the God who is strong. The essence of persevering is trusting or obeying
because of Jesus.

What you thought was a
path
of life now looks more like a battlefield. Satan’s strategy is to wear you down. You remember the cross one day, and Satan is content to wait for tomorrow. If he can’t outfight you (because God fights for you), he tries to outwait you. Perseverance is what you need in prolonged wars.

Paul says to Timothy, “Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus” (2 Tim. 2:3). Martin Luther called depression
anfechtungen,
which means “to be fought at.” What a perfect name! Instead of being translated as “something to surrender to,” it is a call to arms. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, the British pastor-physician who thought deeply about depression, addresses the topic in a Pattonesque speech. Hear him, however, as a physician of the soul who wants the very best for those who listen.

You have to take yourself in hand ... . You must turn on yourself, upbraid yourself, condemn yourself, exhort yourself, and say to yourself, “Hope thou in God”— instead of muttering in this depressed, unhappy way.
²

Wise counsel tells us that we must talk to depression—fight it— rather than merely listen to it. What we often hear from depression is, “God doesn’t care”—if, indeed, we hear God’s name at all. What we say to it is, “Put your hope in God.”

Why are you downcast, O my soul?

Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God,

for I will yet praise him,

my Savior and my God. (Ps. 42:5–6, 11)

“Hope.” There it is again. Hope is the constant companion of perseverance.

In the midst of prolonged battles, commanders offer words of encouragement and hope, words like:

You are the best fighting unit in the world. The battle in front of us will be difficult, and there will be casualties, but you will win. And don’t forget why you are here. You have a purpose—a duty. You are fighting for democracy and freedom. You are fighting for your country.

By giving them hope, the goal is to rouse the troops to persevere. God’s Word gives you daily encouragement. In fact, all Scripture is his means of sustaining you in the battle.

For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through
endurance
and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. (Rom. 15:4)

Your hope is that God hears, that he finds great worth in perseverance, that he rewards those who seek him (Heb. 11:6), that he blesses those who persevere (James 1:12), that he is faithful to all his promises. Your hope comes when you begin to fix your eyes on Jesus, the One who is invisible (Heb. 11:27).

Sound impossible? If you cannot be aroused to hope, you are in good company. There was a point in Job’s life when he said, “What strength do I have, that I should still hope? What prospects, that I
should be patient?” (Job 6:11). But even in his despair, Job continued to seek his God. So, at least, seek him.

If even that seems too much, ride on someone else’s hope for as long as you need. Consider Abraham, Moses, Joseph, and many others who knew that God had something better planned (Heb. 11). Let your friends or family read Scripture to you. Let them tell you about their hope and confidence in Christ.

There are many different ways of doing battle. Call out to the persevering God who gives endurance (Rom. 15:5). He will answer you.

Here is a map that assembles some of the pieces of perseverance (fig. 10.1). It starts with you reciting, “You, O God, are strong, and ... you, O Lord, are loving” (Ps. 62:11–12). Or, you listen as God says to you, “I love you, and I am the Mighty God.” From there it travels to hope and purpose, which lead us to perseverance. It doesn’t stop, however, at perseverance. Perseverance and patient endurance find grace from God, which gives us deeper knowledge of his love and sovereign strength. This in turn leads to a greater sense of purpose and greater confidence in God, which sends us toward a new place of perseverance.

Figure 10.1. A Map for Perseverance.

If you feel unable to persevere, you may be skipping some of the steps needed to get there. So review who God is, and be able to articulate your purpose and your hope. If perseverance still seems elusive, you might want to consider how you already have received it. For example, are you in any way open to what has been written so far? That is evidence of perseverance, and it is more beautiful than you think. God is greatly pleased by it. If you need more evidence, ask a friend if he or she sees any evidence of perseverance in you.

Still can’t fight? Remember that God gives you other people so that you do not fight alone. When you feel thoroughly exhausted, call for help. The church functions like a tag-team wrestling match. Just get to the ropes and touch the other person’s hand. Their perseverance can carry you.

Dan was depressed, had been for years, and was tired of hiding it, so when other guys asked how he was doing, he would say, “really crappy,” or something like that. In response guys did what guys normally do—they felt awkward, changed the subject, and stopped asking him how he was doing.

Dan would admit that his response was, in part, a test. “Who will really listen to me?” His answer: “no one,” though there were a couple exceptions, which Dan didn’t count. Out of desperation he ended up making an appointment with a biblical counselor.

With a little more time to think out loud, and some help along the way, Dan began to map out depression’s complicated trail. At the beginning of the trail was depression—mental pain, hopelessness, finding no pleasure in anything. Go a little further and you found anger. Life was not the way Dan imagined it would be. He had complaints about most everything. Was that the end of the trail? Maybe. When in doubt, ask.

“Dan, you are angry. Probably more angry than you realize because it is easy to be blind to our own anger. But is this where we should stop and really consider how God speaks to you, or is there somewhere else that is even more important?”

Dan understood the question.

“I am
a
failure. A complete failure. That’s the problem.”

He was depressed, and anger was certainly a contributor, but failure was probably the place to begin.

Now listen more carefully to depression. Like all feelings, it is a kind of language.

Guilt says, “I am wrong.”

Anger says, “You are wrong.”

Fear says, “I am in danger.”

Depression, too, has a message, but the message is usually not that simple. “Whereas some emotions are clear and unambiguous, depression’s language is more heavily encrypted. It might take some decoding before it is understandable, but it is worth the effort.

Emotions have a history. To put a complex process as simply as possible, their history consists of two parts: (1) events outside of us, which include physical problems, and (2) beliefs, spiritual allegiances, and interpretations within us. The interaction of these two, over time, is what causes depression (fig. 11.1).

Figure 11.1. The Development of Depression.

Keeping this interaction in mind challenges us to investigate. Depression doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. It has its reasons. And although we have already found that it isn’t essential to know the reasons, we still keep an eye out for them. For example, if your car stopped in the middle of nowhere and there was no phone available, God would certainly give you grace to live by faith in the midst of that hardship. This does not mean, however, that you wouldn’t look under the hood. Even if you knew nothing about cars, you would do the standard wire-wiggling and engine-staring.

With depression, God gives grace to live in the midst of hardships. He also gives grace to investigate it more carefully.

Just listen, follow the markers until they lead to what seems to be especially important. Watch your actions too. Sometimes our actions are more accurate reflections of what’s really happening. For example, if you say you love someone but you never talk to them, your behavior might be speaking more clearly than your words.