Deranged Marriage (42 page)

What was it like when you saw each other again?

Wonderful
,
brilliant
,
perfect!
All
the
old
feelings
came
flooding
back
immediately
,
which
led
me
to
uproot
from
New
York
to
be
with
Holly
for
good
.

You didn’t want to leave New York?

It
was
nothing
to
do
with
wanting
to
leave
or
not
wanting
to
leave
.
I
came
back
to
London
for
Holly
,
nothing
else
.

You’re known in the press as the ‘Marriage-Pact Couple’. Tell us about that.

We
were
very
young
when
we
got
together
,
well
we
grew
up
together
really
,
so
we
knew
that
we
would
have
to
spend
some
time
apart
,
to
each
explore
our
own
careers
.
But
we
knew
we
would
end
up
together
so
we
signed
a
pact
to
that
effect
.
We
said
that
we
would
get
married
when
we
were
thirty
.

But you have never published a copy of the pact. Why is that?

Because
it’s
too
personal
.
The
world
may
know
the
whole
story
but
that
pact
was
signed
in
love
and
I
wouldn’t
want
to
tarnish
that
love
by
letting
anyone
see
it
.

Were you shocked when Holly turned you down?

Totally
.
She
had
slept
with
me
before
I
knew
she
had
a
boyfriend
.
I
was
devastated
as
you
can
imagine
.

So you tried to take her to court...?

Yes
,
it
wasn’t
a
sensible
move
,
I
realise
that
now
,
but
I
wasn’t
thinking
straight
.
I
love
her
and
I
was
heartbroken
.

Were you shocked by the news of the pregnancy and the fact you might be the father?

I
was
overjoyed
when
I
found
out
.
I
know
there
is
a
possibility
that
it’s
not
mine
but
in
my
heart
I
feel
it
is
.
It
reinforces
my
belief
that
we’re
meant
to
be
together
.

So how do you cope with the situation?

Well
,
I
don’t
ever
lose
sight
of
the
love
I
feel
for
her
.
And
I
never
give
up
hope
.
It’s
all
I
have
left
.
But
I
have
to
put
myself
second
and
Holly
and
the
baby
first
.
I
have
made
it
clear
that
I
am
here
for
her
...
always
.

How do you feel about being in the public eye?

It
is
strange
,
but
the
support
I’ve
received
from
the
public
has
been
overwhelming
.
I
really
want
to
thank
everyone
for
that
.

So what does the future hold?

I
can
only
take
one
day
at
a
time
.
I
hope
Holly
will
remember
our
love
and
accept
our
future
is
together
.
I
hope
that
we
will
have
a
healthy
baby
and
become
a
family
.
There
is
nothing
else
I
can
ask
for
,
is
there
?

I finished reading and laughed.

‘What’s funny?’ Imogen asked, she had finished reading at the same time.

‘He is so fucking earnest, isn’t he? All that shit about love and putting me first it’s all such crap. I can’t believe it. And the photos, they are amazing.’ Photos of George in this wonderful hotel, looking upset, serious and appealing. It was so staged it made me feel sick.

‘We better start praying that this baby is Joe’s. And talking of Joe, I think I should phone and get him back into my life.’

‘Holly, do you think you’ll be all right if I go home? It’s not that I don’t love being here, I do, but I think that Jack and I need to spend some time together.’ She looked so worried as she asked, I felt a huge surge of gratitude for what she had done.

‘Of course you must go home, I’ll get Lisa and Max to stay.’ I tried to sound more confident than I felt. I was a child in an adult body, with another child on the way. If I was going to be a good mother I’d have to be much stronger than I was. I had to cope.

‘You can’t be on your own near the birth.’

‘Immi that’s months away and anyway you think Mum would miss that?’

‘No, I guess not. Not the birth of her first grandchild.’

‘I bet no one would have ever imagined that I’d be the provider,’ I laughed.

‘I know. They probably think that Jack and I have problems. But I think I might prove them wrong, I think maybe we will give them their second grandchild.’

‘Are you sure? You seemed so unsure.’ I was struck by the idea that I was turning everyone around me broody. Imogen and Lisa were already voicing thoughts about motherhood. I wondered how Francesca felt about it. If she declared that she was going to try for a baby then I would know I was the instigator.

‘Well I’ve been thinking, and if Jack and I are rock solid then I think we’d make wonderful parents, but I won’t rush into anything.’

‘There is no doubt of that.’

Imogen went to check the train times while I phoned Joe.

‘It’s Holly,’ I said as he picked up the phone.

‘How are you?’ his voice was always so gentle when he said that.

‘The baby kicked today.’

‘It did? That’s brilliant, what did it feel like?’ His rush of emotion was touching.

‘It took me by surprise, it didn’t really hurt but it felt strange. I thought about it then, because it’s real now Joe, and if you are the father, if it turns out to be yours then you will have missed out on all this, all the pregnancy. And I don’t want that. Do you?’

‘I’m scared Holly.’

‘I’m terrified.’

‘I don’t know what I’ll do if it’s not mine.’

‘Will you at least come with me to my next scan?’

‘Yes. Give me the address of the hospital and I’ll meet you there.’

I cried when I put down the phone because he sounded so lost, but I wasn’t as lost as him because it was happening to me. If that sounds stupid or doesn’t make sense that’s because life doesn’t make sense a lot of the time.

Chapter Thirty-six

Climax

We’d been tipped off that there were going to be photos of Holly in the papers so we took our usual trip to get the early editions. Sure enough, there she was in all her pregnant glory. Pregnancy suited her, her eyes were shining but she was definitely fat. The journalists all attacked her; she’d been rude to them. As she had been rude to me on a number of occasions, that wasn’t hard to believe. Still, the sympathy lay with me, which was all that mattered:

‘
She
leaves
for
the
hospital
without
a
thought
for
the
father
of
her
child
.
’

‘
Holly
shows
no
remorse
for
what
she
is
doing
.
’

‘
She
sticks
two
fingers
up
to
the
press
as
she
flounces
out
.
’

There was no evidence of her sticking up two fingers to anyone, it was a good story, and good coverage for us. The story was outlasting our expectations.

‘I can’t believe how well we’re doing,’ Cordelia said, as we read the papers from cover to cover.

‘I’m very pleased,’ I agreed. ‘I’m pleased with you.’ I had appeared on several television shows, in a major glossy magazine and had become a celebrity in my own right.
This
Afternoon
were close to giving me a regular slot, there had been discussions and outlines, although nothing was set in stone. Cordelia was confident that we’d be signing a contract soon.

‘But George it isn’t going to last for ever. You might and your career might but this story will soon lose its appeal. When paternity is determined there’s not much left. Although if the baby is yours we can get some more coverage.
Aloha!
have said they will pay handsomely for the first pictures of the marriage-pact baby.’

‘Holly won’t let that happen.’ I could imagine her reaction to that suggestion. I felt bad at times about Holly and the baby. I hoped that the stress she accused me of putting her under was just her way of trying to warn me off. That was what Cordelia said. But I couldn’t stop pursuing my goal. Holly was trying to make me feel guilty and that wasn’t fair. After all I wasn’t the one who had no idea who the father of her baby was. This wasn’t my fault.

‘Let’s worry about that nearer the time. People love you, that’s what you need to remember and we can use that.’ Her usual exuberance was notably absent.

‘I am not going to let things slip away, we have to keep going.’ Fear of losing what I had was foremost in my thoughts.

‘George, relax, we will. I’m doing my best and so far have I let you down?’

I looked at her, sitting crossed-legged on the floor with all the papers laid out in front of her. She was sexy even when she was doing something as mundane as reading the paper. She hadn’t let me down; she had been responsible for where I was now. But I had to ensure I stayed there. I had kick-started my TV career but it needed developing. I needed more.