Authors: L.M. McCleary
I cast my eyes warily at Nathaniel but he showed no emotion at my father’s
admittance. I took a moment to respond, biting my lip and tapping my foot in
irritation. “It wasn’t yours to take, dad. The Mediator was right; we
were
lucky
to have a Provider. They offered to help us at no cost and you got greedy.” I
shook my head and looked away. I never thought a day would come where I could
actually be ashamed of my father. How could he?
My father looked at me with big eyes. Could he possibly be embarrassed by it,
too? Only time will tell, I suppose. “I’m not the one you need to be talking
to, here.” I mumbled the reply to him.
With a sigh, Chester turned back towards the Pirate. “I’m sorry, Nathaniel.
I’ve come here to atone. Will you help me?”
“…your problem lies in more than just blackmail, Chester.” Nathaniel had moved
closer and narrowed his eyes, his huge shadow engulfing my father. The three of
us looked at the Pirate in confusion. “When you found yourself out in the
wasteland, on your own…what did you do?” Nathaniel’s voice bellowed throughout
the small tent.
“I…I searched for a way home.” My father shrunk away from the Pirate’s booming
voice, a sight I was not used to seeing. Since when did my dad ever shy away
from…well, anything?
“And what happened when you could not find your way?” Nathaniel’s eyes bored
into Chester.
“I…I stumbled upon Dr.
Krastanov
. I asked him for
help.”
“No, you asked him for the easy way out. To just forget all the
responsibilities you left at home,” the Pirate glanced quickly at me before
returning his focus to my father, “You should never have forgotten where you
came from, Chester. You should never have given up the fight; your daughter
didn’t.” The room was quiet as Nathaniel’s words hung on the air. My father
looked down at the soft sand below us and said nothing. “Have you come to the
realization that you can’t just run from your problems anymore? You can’t just
wipe away your fears and start over?”
My father nodded. “Yes…”
“You can’t cheat life or you’ll learn nothing.” Nathaniel stood tall above my
father as he scolded him, while my father shrunk away and averted his gaze as
though a young child might.
Finally
the Pirate looked over to Kay.
“And what about you?
What have you learned?” Kay flinched at the mention of his name but refused to
acknowledge the Pirate that called out to him. “Huh,” Nathaniel said, “nothing,
apparently. He is not ready for forgiveness yet, Chester.”
“But
maybe home will change his mind.” Chester interjected hastily.
“Home?”
Nathaniel arched his brow as he turned back
towards his seat.
“That’s what we’ve come here to ask for; help in getting back home.”
“Ah, so that’s how you hope to atone.” The Pirate of the Sands nodded and
smiled as he sank himself back down into his chair. “We’ve been waiting a long
time for the people here to ask us that. Everyone here is running from
something or another; instead of facing responsibility they decide to forget
and wash their hands of whatever it is they started, choosing instead to live
the easy life by leeching off the supplies that my own men and women provide.
Supplies, mind
you, that
we offer from the kindness of
our heart; no one should starve in the desert.”
There was a moment of silence before my father spoke. “I’m trying to make
things right.”
Nathaniel
suddenly looked past Chester and gazed at me. “I wonder; do you know what she
had to go through to find you? She has risked her own life several times to
save both of yours, of that I have no doubt. She didn’t take the easy way out;
she continued on until she found you. And when that wasn’t enough, she braved
the wasteland yet again to retrieve what she thought would fix things. I am
impressed.” Nathaniel’s eyes darted from one man to the next. “Funny. She is
more man than either of you.” The tension was thick in the air but Nathaniel’s
face softened and he grinned at me. “It is good to see you again.”
I
hesitated in responding; what was he talking about? Did he know that I was at
the school that day? “I’m…sorry, but I don’t remember you.”
The Pirate
laughed.
“And honest, too!
You’ve done well for
yourself; it takes a strong heart to brave the wasteland. But don’t worry; I
don’t expect you to know who I am. I have seen you many times but you have
never met me.” I
squinted
my eyes in thought; just
what exactly did he mean by that? “It is good to see you nonetheless. Tell me,
how is your horse,
Ponika
?”
I
gasped; how did he know about
Ponika
? “I…I have lost
him.” I sputtered the words out, clenching my hands against my jeans as they trembled
in Nathaniel’s steady gaze.
“Again?!”
He raised an eyebrow at me.
“A…again, sir?”
I swallowed hard. “I don’t know what you
mean.”
“This
isn’t the first time he’s wandered the desert alone, is it?” He chortled.
“Never mind, then. How did you lose him?”
I
glanced around at the eyes staring into me and I cast a downwards gaze to the
floor. What will they think when they realize I’ve made the same mistake? “I…I
erased my mind as well.” My fingers wrapped around a stray thread on my jeans
and I twirled it incessantly in my sweaty palms. “Dr.
Krastanov
had to dispose of anything that could trigger a memory and that included
Ponika
…I was an idiot.” The thought caused me to flush red
in embarrassment and tug at my heart at the same time. I coughed quickly, trying
to cover the emotion that was billowing up at the thought of my horse. How
could I possibly be going home without him? “…I’m no better than the rest of
your inhabitants.”
Nathaniel paused and he attempted to study my downcast face. He put a hand to
his chin before speaking again, “…that is a shame to hear he is gone. That
doesn’t mean you’re the same as everyone else here, though.”
Chester and Kay were giving me sideways glances but I could barely raise my
head to look at the Pirate; his imposing stature intimidated me. “What do you
mean?” I finally eked out a response.
“Well,
you are here now, are you not?” Nathaniel gestured around the tent. “You seem
to remember everything and even fixed the problems that these two men wrought
upon themselves. Do you know why that is?”
Nathaniel’s voice sounded much softer when he spoke to me, relieving some of
the tension that had once lay stagnant in the air. I raised my head and stared
into the Pirate’s eyes. “…I found my journal hidden under my bed. The operation
was fresh and it forced my memories back when I read it.”
“Hmm…” Nathaniel scratched the stubble on his chin. “Dr.
Krastanov
removes everything that was once familiar to someone. Why do you think your
journal was tucked away under the bed, then?”
I looked at him a moment before I shrugged. “I don’t know, sir.”
“I think
you do.” The Pirate leaned back in his chair as he waited for my answer. When
he saw that none was coming, he continued, “I think you hid your journal before
the operation because in the end, you didn’t really want to forget. It was a
subconscious move and you knew it wasn’t right
..
You
hid your journal under the mattress so Dr.
Krastanov
would not find it and dispose of it.” He continued to beam at me. “You had a
moment of weakness and made a mistake that you’ve already rectified. You have
owned up to your mistakes and continued on your journey regardless; that is
much more than can be said for anyone else here.”
I was at a loss for words at first. “But…but I lost my horse because of it…”
Nathaniel nodded slowly. “Mistakes, unfortunately, do have consequences. It is
a learning experience that we all must go through.”
“Wait a minute here,” Kay suddenly spoke up, “you preach to her about mistakes
and experiences yet you berate us for making a mistake ourselves? How does that
work?” He scoffed at the Pirate.
“Well, for one, I’m not all that convinced that you feel you’ve made a mistake,
Kay.” Nathaniel stared at him with a blank expression. “Besides that, she has
owned up to the problem and remedied it herself; do you really think either of
you can say the same?”
“We
are
trying to make things right, Nathaniel.” My father quietly interjected.
“
Which is all well and good.
But you are doing so at
the spurring of your daughter. If she hadn’t arrived then nothing would have
changed. She fixes her own mistakes; you, however, do not.” Nathaniel’s eyes
darted from Chester and Kay as he spoke and I shifted on my feet. Kay was
already at the end of his rope with me; this would not bode well with him at
all.
“How am I supposed to own up to a mistake when I’ve forgotten it? The stupid
vial even clouds over every time I think on it.” Kay replied.
“Maybe you shouldn’t have given up to begin with?” Nathaniel retorted. “But
even still, you both knew you could not remember certain things, yet somehow
you were okay with that. You didn’t bother trying to figure out why. Either one
of you could have done what she did at the Facility, and had many years to do
so.” The Pirate awaited a response but the room was entirely still. “As for
those clouding vials…I can tell you what happened, if you like, seeing as how I
was there.” Kay scowled at Nate’s offer but said nothing.
Nathaniel remained calm and collected in his seat as he watched Kay writhe in
anger. “You followed in Chester’s footsteps. You saw him escape into the night
and return with his own supplies fairly often; at least, that’s what you told
me when you found me in the desert, anyway. What happened to you, well, I’m not
at liberty to say, which would explain why your vials refuse to show it as
well. All I
can
tell you is that you attempted to blackmail us all the
same. The only difference is that you actually received your request before you
ended up in the desert; Chester didn’t.” Another silence fell over us as we all
digested Nathaniel’s words. “Your mistakes were made out of greed and instead
of finding a way to correct it you enlisted Dr.
Krastanov’s
help to wipe your hands of it all. Sorry if I have a hard time forgiving that.”
“Like she’s some saint.” Kay grumbled under his breath.
“Enough!” My father stared Kay down before he turned to the Pirate, “Nathaniel,
please…I know we don’t deserve your help after what we’ve done and we don’t
expect it, either; we merely ask. Will you help us get home and fix our
mistakes or will we have to find our own way home?”
Nathaniel
sighed. “He clearly does not want this, Chester,” the Pirate nodded towards
Kay, who had his arms folded again and he refused to look at anyone, “Are you
sure you want to bring him along?”
My father nodded. “His parents need to know, if nothing else…”
Nathaniel looked my father over, scrutinizing him. The Pirate seemed to lose
himself in his thoughts for a moment until finally he spoke. “I’ll need to
discuss this with a few others and make the necessary preparations. Rest for
the night and come see me in the morning; I’ll have your answer then.”
“I understand,” my father nodded curtly, “thank you for the opportunity,
Nathaniel.”
The Pirate continued to study my father with skeptical eyes as we all turned to
go. “Wait,” Nathaniel said suddenly, “I’d like to speak to your daughter.”
I felt the hair on my arms stand up at his tone. What could he possibly want
with me? My father and Kay glanced at me, their furrowed brows showing the same
confusion on their face that I felt myself.
“Well…you’d have to ask her,” my father replied without turning to face the
Pirate, “I’m not her keeper.” With that the two men left the tent as I stood
frozen to the spot, still watching the slit of the tent blow fiercely in the
breeze.
“May I speak with you?” Nathaniel asked, his voice sounding softer than he had
earlier.
I turned to face him slowly, clutching the belt on my jeans with my one free
hand to steady them. “I’m not sure what you could possibly want with-
“ I
started but Nathaniel waved my worries away.
“I want to know about you; your adventures. You’ve come a long way on your own
and I’d love to hear what you’ve seen along the way.” Nathaniel stood once again,
bathing me in his shadow yet he smiled warmly, “walk with me.” He strode past
me then turned slightly at the entrance, “if you’d like to, of course; I’m sure
you must have some questions yourself.” His smile softened his face entirely
and as he waited for my answer I gazed into his now bright and cheerful eyes.