Desired and Dominated (26 page)

It was hard when we first tried to stay in touch long distance, only talking via text and calls. FaceTime is great, but it doesn’t even come close to being in the same room together. Something happens when we share the same space; the air around us becomes charged with lust, desire, love and passion. It’s an emotional and physical reaction that sparks inside of me.

I have a copy of her schedule over the next few months, and have been trying to find days when I could visit her or have her flown out to see me, but it’s not looking good. On paper, it looks like we’re going to be missing each other by a day or so whenever I’m within travelling distance of her. I haven’t told her yet, because I think it would be harder for her to say goodbye today if she knew that it might be months before we see each other again.

The airport is alive with the peaks and troughs of travel. People running into each other’s arms as they’re reunited after days, weeks, or months apart; family, friends, and lovers. The other side of that coin, the one that I’m on, are the people who cling to each other, taking one last embrace, one last kiss, remembering how it feels, and holding onto it as their bodies part, their fingers touching until the space between them is too great. The airport is a melting pot of emotion, and for me, it’s becoming synonymous with Sofia.

I wait as she checks her bags, drinking in every detail of the way she looks, her hair, her lips, her eyes that are fighting back tears as she walks over to me with her boarding pass in hand.

“I don’t want to leave you.” She wraps her arms around my neck, burying her head against my chest.

“I know. I don’t want you to leave either, but this is what you’ve been working towards, what you’ve been desperate for. You need to dance, it’s who you are, and I would never try to stop you, or hold you back.”

She lifts her head, looking up into my eyes with so much love. “And that’s why I love you so much, Master Callaghan.” A mischievous grin spreads across her face, and I know she’s remembering what it felt like to scream my name in ecstasy before we left for the airport. Hogtied and spanked, and loving every minute of it as she begged her Master for more. I can still taste her on my lips as we stand here, in a sea of people, no one suspecting that her ass is a pretty shade of pink right now, and her nipples puckered with little plastic clamps I placed on them in the elevator of my building on the way here. I told her not to remove them until she gets to her hotel, and only when she has me on FaceTime to watch. It’s a twisted kind of torture, for her and for me, but I wanted her to have a reminder as she travels so far away from me today; that I am her Master, and no matter where she is, or how many miles are between us, I control her pleasure, and her pain.

“Enjoying being a tease, Miss Mantovani? Two can play at that game, remember that as you sit on the plane today, the engines vibrating through your body, sending sensual shocks to your beautiful, pert…clamped, nipples. Remember it as your panties become wet with your own arousal, and I’m not there to alleviate the discomfort.” The groan that my words elicit, causes my pants to tighten and I thrust my groin against her thigh, letting her know exactly what her little noises do to me; that I’ll be dealing with my own discomfort while she’s gone. “We better get you to where you need to be. As much as I would love for you to miss your flight and come home with me to my bed, I need to do what’s best for you. Come on…” I grab her hand and navigate through the crowds, slowly making my way towards the security gate, the point of no return, the moment when I have to watch her leave…again. At least this time, I know she’s coming back to me, and that she is mine.

When the sign comes into view, I tighten my grip, my body reacting to our imminent separation, making me feel physically sick at the thought of it. My steps slow almost to a standstill, stalling for more time. I can’t look at her, because if I do, I know what I’ll see – tears, fears, and more emotion than I can handle, so I continue to walk, repeating the words over and over in my head, ‘I am in control, I am her Master. Show no weakness, only strength.’ I must have said it to myself twenty times when we find ourselves at the entrance to security, the board beside us mocking me, ‘PASSENGERS ONLY BEYOND THIS POINT.’

She turns in my arms, a quiet sob breaking free, causing my heart to fall into my stomach. I cup her face in my hands, wiping her tears as I lower my lips to hers. It’s not a frantic kiss, but a gentle one, filled with passion and understanding. I savor the feel of her tongue caressing mine, and the softness of her lips as they press against my own.

When I finally pull back, I’m fighting to keep my composure, forcing myself to remain strong for her. “Don’t cry. We’ll be together again soon. I promise. And, in the meantime, I want you to take it easy, and do as the physio says, don’t push yourself too hard.” I rain tiny kisses all over her face in my attempts to calm her. “Let yourself enjoy every minute. Don’t be sad, and remember, no matter where you are. You. Are. My. Nyx. My goddess above all others. I am your Master, and I expect you to behave as such. You will obey my commands and know that you are always my priority.” I hold her gaze, entreating her to understand the gravity of what I’m saying. “Do you understand?”

“Yes, Master Callaghan.”

“I love you, Sofia. More than life itself. I always have and I always will.”

She holds me as tight as her arms will let her, leaving no space between us. “I love you too. So much it hurts.”

“No more tears. This is a good day. You’re healed and ready to get back to what you love; what you were born to do. I’ll see you soon. Now go, before I change my mind and take you home.”

We share one last kiss, before she turns and walks through the gate, getting further and further away from me. I stand for a moment, watching her disappear from sight, feeling almost winded by her departure, like a part of me has gone with her, and it has…my heart.

After a few minutes, I pull myself together and start to weave my way through the crowds and out of the airport, heading home to my empty apartment to get organized for my own departure next week; Flaming Embers’ debut tour.

Two Months Later

We’ve been on the road now for two months, and the boys are killing it, night after night. The crowds love them, and they love the crowds. Word is spreading about how amazing they are live, especially for first timers. It’s exactly what I was hoping for, and the media attention and interview requests are starting to roll in thick and fast. I’ve been preparing for this for months, and I’m ready to take them to the next level, but I’m not sure if all of them are quite ready for that leap. It’s going to change their lives forever. What they have now is new and exciting, but it’s theirs; this next step will take that away from them, and they’ll have to share this success with the world, opening themselves up to scrutiny and judgment, and the pressures that come with it. I know they’re going to be huge, I can feel it, and no one deserves it more than Campbell McCabe.

The show was amazing tonight, and as the backstage aftermath begins to calm, and the groupies leave with various band members, I find a quiet spot to sit with Campbell’s guitar and play for a while. I’m nowhere near the player I used to be, but I’m good enough for my ears only. I’m tired of drunk girls trying to bed me, explaining night after night that I’m not interested because I have a girlfriend. Calling her that seems so trivial, and doesn’t begin to describe what we are, but I’m not about to start explaining it to some slutty college girls. Instead, I politely decline their advances and go in search of somewhere quiet, which I’ve managed to find in this venue.

Since we started the tour, I’ve found myself becoming immersed in the music again, not just the managerial logistics of it all. The last time I picked up a guitar or wrote a song was years ago. I was too bitter back then to find enjoyment in it, but now that I’m in a better place in my life, I’ve started writing again. I can’t play for long periods of time, but when I do, it’s an amazing feeling, and right now I’m working on something I started writing for Sofia.

As I sit with the guitar in my lap and a pencil in my hand, jotting down ideas and chord progressions, singing the lyrics I have so far, I sense movement behind me.

“Holy fuck, Nate! You kept that a secret.”

I turn to see Campbell standing in the doorway with a shit-eating grin on his face. “No secret, just messing around.”

“Bullshit! You’re a talented bastard and you know it. You’ve got a better voice than me.”

“Stop kissing my ass, I already got you a record deal. Are you drunk? Stupid question, of course you are. Great show tonight, you guys killed it.”

He strides towards me with all the rock star swagger of a seasoned pro. “Aye, we were alright. I missed a few riffs here and there; felt like a right bawbag. It was so fuckin’ hot up there on stage, I was sweatin’ like a rapist at confession.”

“What the hell is a ‘bawbag’?” I’m still getting used to his…way with words, but he makes me laugh on a daily basis.

“Sorry, mate. I keep forgettin’ to cut out the slang. A bawbag is yer testicles. Sure, I’m a modern day Shakespeare!” He grabs two beers from the mini fridge in the room and holds one out to me. “I dinnae want to drink alone. Join me?”

“Sure, why not. It’s not like I have anywhere else to be.” I take the bottle, twist off the cap, sending a shooting pain through my hand after only an hour of playing the guitar, which really pisses me off. I take a long swig of my beer before setting the guitar down and slumping back into my seat.

“So, what’s your story, big man? You’ve got a voice any front man would kill for, an’ you’re flexin’ yer hand wae a grimace on yer face. I’m no Sherlock Holmes, but I’m guessin’ an old injury?”

“You’re a perceptive guy, Campbell. Yeah, I injured it over a decade ago, and it ruined my chances of doing what you do.”

“What happened? Tell me tae mind ma ain business if I’m bein’ a nosey bastard, but you look like you could use a friend, and you might be our manager, but I consider us friends too.”

I don’t know if it’s his open personality, or the fact that I’m missing Sofia so badly, but I find myself talking before it dawns on me that he’s the first person I’ve ever told this story to.

“When I was 18, I had it all at my fingertips. I’d just finished school, with no intention of going to college. I had a band – guys I’d grown up with, that knew how much of an escape music was for me. I had an agent, Derek, who was in the process of finalizing the paperwork on a record deal for us, when he started dating my mom.” I take another, long swig before I continue. “My mom never did have great taste in guys. My dad was a deadbeat drug dealer, who skipped out on us when I was 8 years old. We were better off without him, but he left behind some angry associates who came looking for him. Instead of getting rid of them, my mom started dating a long string of losers, each one worse than the last. I thought when she shacked up with Derek, that she’d finally found a decent guy. It wasn’t ideal with him being my manager, but he assured me that it wouldn’t affect my deal.”

My hands begin to shake as I relive what happened that night; the night that changed the course of my life.

“I came home one Friday night from a party at my girlfriend’s house. Her parents were out of town for the weekend, and the drinks were flowing. I was more than a little drunk by the time I stumbled through the front door, into what looked like a warzone. The living room was completely trashed, and at first I thought we’d been robbed, until I heard them in the kitchen. My mom was screaming at Derek to calm down, and he was calling her every name under the sun. I ran through the living room ready for a fight, but nothing could have prepared me for what I found. Her face was black and blue down the right side, her eye almost entirely swollen shut.”