Desired and Dominated (23 page)

“I’m glad you sorted things out with Si.”

“I thought you were asleep. Did I wake you?”

“No. I’m just resting. A devil of a man wore me out.” She keeps her eyes closed; a mischievous grin spreading across her face.

“A devil you say?” My hand trails down her neck, edging beneath the sheet that covers her sweet, sexy curves.

“I do.”

“You have no idea just how devilish I can be, Nyx. Just you wait.”

“Why do you call me Nyx? You never did get around to telling me.”

I prop my head up on my hand. “Nyx was the goddess of the night; of darkness. She was the mother of creation; said to be so powerful and her beauty so exquisite, that even Zeus himself feared her. She was only ever seen in glimpses; found in the shadows.”

“Am I the darkness?” She looks pained.

“No, Sofia. You are
not
the darkness. Why would you think that?”

“Because I’m not good enough for you. I’m damaged goods. The things you don’t know about me – a darkness inside me that eats away at any good there is.”

I take her face in my hand. “I wish you would trust me. I wish you would tell me why you feel this way about yourself.” Her gaze drops to the bed. She can’t even look at me. “The truth is, that I call you Nyx because you are the most enchanting beauty I have ever seen in my life. A goddess sent to torment my tarnished soul. You have so much power over me. Can’t you see that? The way I feel about you terrifies me. I feel like I’m at war with myself on a daily basis, fighting to control the urge to make you mine no matter what the consequences are.” She finally meets my gaze. “Don’t you see? I’m a man that controls everything in my life. You throw that into chaos, while at the same time, craving that control. You need it, and I need to be sure that I can provide it. That I can be the Master you so desperately need. I don’t know if I’m what’s best for you, but the thought of another man being your Dominant…” I fist my hand in the sheets, “it makes my blood boil. I see bloody, murderous red at the very thought of it.”

She silences me with a gentle kiss. “
You
are the only man that I want. It’s your dominance that I crave, no one else’s. I’m so in love with you that I can’t even see straight. The reason I’ve never said anything to you over the years, is because I didn’t want to bring my darkness into your life. You’re a good man, and I don’t want to taint that.”

“Don’t ever think that.” I sit up, pulling her into my arms. “From now on, when we are in a scene, or when I am referring to you as my submissive, I will call you Nyx. This will remind you that you are beautiful to me, inside and out. It will remind you that you hold all the power in our Master/submissive relationship. It will serve to remind you that you are a goddess in my eyes, and that my sole purpose is to see that your needs are met, emotionally, physically, and sexually. Do you understand me…Nyx?”

“Yes, Master Callaghan.”

“Good. Then as of now, you are my 24/7 submissive. You will meet me on our agreed date in a week’s time, at the club. I will send you details of which room, and how I want you to present yourself when I arrive. After I claim your body as my own for the first time, you will be mine, body, mind and soul. There is no going back from that.”

“I know.”

“I need to be certain that you do. Tomorrow I’m going to go back to my apartment, and I’m going to give you this week to think it over. If you change your mind, I won’t hold it against you, and I will let you walk away without any reprisal from me.”

“I don’t want to be away from you for the whole week.”

“Neither do I, but things between us are so intense. I want to give you time to think, to breathe, to consider the line we are about to cross together. I don’t want you to worry, baby. We’ll talk this week, and before you know it, we’ll be together again…if that’s what you choose.” I slide us both down the bed and under the covers. “I don’t want you worrying about this. You need your rest, and tonight, I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here, where I want to be. Now get some sleep.”

I wrap my arms around her, and pull her body flush against my own. A perfect fit. I listen as her breathing evens out, and her body relaxes in slumber. I on the other hand, find myself restless, wondering if time apart is a good idea. It will be so hard to be away from her. I’ve gotten so used to having her around; even if it’s just knowing that she’s in the apartment; sharing the same space. I’ve never done that before. I’ve always kept the club and my home life separate. She’s already changing me in ways that can never be undone.

If she does change her mind, and I need to let her walk away, it will destroy me. But in the end, it’s not about me or what I want. As a Dominant, my priority will always be her needs over my own. Her desires ahead of mine. Her pleasure in all things.

It’s 4am by the time I finally fall asleep, but even then, I’m plagued by my own nightmares.

“Your new submissive is waiting, Master Callaghan. The room as been set up as per your requests.”

It’s been a long time since I was last here. The familiar sounds, the energy vibrating off the walls, the music pulsing through everything, and everyone in the building. Rihanna blares through the sound system, singing of chains and whips. It’s an obvious choice for a club like this, but it sets the mood perfectly. I’ve missed this.

“Thank you.” Every nerve ending in my body is alive tonight, adrenaline pumping hard in my veins. I’m too distracted to even bother with the usual small talk on the way up to my room.

“Is everything ok? If she’s not to your liking I can have someone else train her.” My fists tighten at my sides. Rage clouding my vision.

“Listen carefully. NO ONE will ever touch her. Do you understand me? If anyone lays so much as a finger on her, I will make sure that they leave this place on a gurney. NO ONE but me even
speaks
to her. Got it?”

“Understood, Master Callaghan. I’ll make sure of it.”

“Good.” I run my hand over my face, scratching my palm over the scruff that is covering my jaw these days. This last week has been slow, and tedious without Sofia. Work has been crazy, and the few hours that I wasn’t working, I wanted to be with her, but I gave her the space I promised her, and thankfully, she has decided to meet me here tonight.

I wanted to make love to her for the first time at my apartment, but I know that she needs this setting to solidify our relationship as Master and submissive. Instead, I had the room completely renovated. As a Master, I have had this playroom designated to me for almost five years now. No one is allowed access but me, and my submissives, but I didn’t want to use the same equipment that I did with them, not for Sofia. So, I had them rip everything out, paint the room a darker shade of purple, replace all of the apparatus; I had new toys shipped in and a closet of lingerie just for her.

I messaged her this week to ask what she likes, what she loves, what she isn’t willing to do. I can’t explain the pain I felt, knowing that her answers came from experience. That another Dominant had his hands on her, that someone else trained her; that she submitted to someone that wasn’t me. I did it for her. I needed to know her hard limits, the stuff that she wants to explore, the toys she enjoys, and her safe word.

I’ve been planning this all week, and I know exactly what I want to do with her tonight. I’m eager to see the new playroom…our playroom.

I don’t even remember walking up the stairs, simply finding myself standing in front of the door with ‘Master Callaghan’ emblazoned on it in silver script, and underneath in bold lettering ‘RESTRICTED ROOM. DO NOT ENTER.”

“If you need anything at all this evening, Master Callaghan, just let me know.”

“Thank you, Jacob.”

I take a deep breath. Nerves and adrenaline fueling my every move as I turn the handle and open the door. I’ve never been nervous about my first time with a new sub, but my first time with Sofia…

“Good evening, Nyx.”

Holy Shit!

I take a moment to regroup. The sight of her, in here, in my space – the backdrop to this part of my life that I’ve kept hidden from everyone but her – completely fucking floors me. I want to be inside her more than I’ve ever wanted anything. I have to distract myself, taking in my new surroundings. The room looks phenomenal. There are pictures on the walls, various prints of a ballet dancer with leather restraints around her ankles; one with her arms and legs tied using shibari, but neither picture shows a face. The only woman that I want to see in here is Sofia.

There is a new black St. Andrew’s cross at the far end of the room, with silver shackles, top and bottom. There is a wall of floggers and paddles of various shapes and sizes. Spreader bars hanging from metal hooks, and a king size bed exactly like Sofia’s, and a couch at the foot of it. I requested one with adequate points to attach restraints and I can see lengths of purple rope resting on the arm. There is a cabinet next to the entrance of the room, housing all of the toys and restraints I could ever need, and a table in the center of the room, large enough to lay her out and tie her down, helpless and open to my every whim.

She is exactly where I requested her to be. She’s wearing a black lace Basque and French knickers. She looks absolutely divine; on her knees, her ass touching her heels, her hands gripped behind her back, and her head bowed, eyes to the ground…in a perfect submissive position, facing the wall. I can’t breathe taking in every single stunning detail of the way she looks tonight.

“Good evening, Master Callaghan.”

I walk over to the far wall, perusing the collection of implements and choosing a particularly nice black leather flogger. I run it through my palm. This will do nicely.

I begin to ready myself, leaving Sofia staring at the floor. Letting her anticipation grow and her mind wander, wondering what I’m doing; what I have in store for her. I remove my iPod from my jacket and sync it to the sound system in the room. I haven’t chosen romantic or soft music as the soundtrack to our evening. Instead, ‘Animals’ by Maroon 5, starts pulsing through the speakers, promises of primal pleasure, and I can see that she is affected by it.

I place the flogger down on the hard wood table and pull my t-shirt up and over my head, discarding on the floor. I remove my shoes and socks and kick them under the table.

I watch the rapid rise and fall of her chest as her eagerness for my touch reaches a fever pitch; her eyes still trained on the wall 4ft in front of her.

As I walk towards her, desire coils in every muscle of my body, threatening to spiral out of control. It takes me a moment to calm myself, to be the man I am, the man I hide from those around me. The darkest part of myself.

I stride towards her, stopping only an inch in front of her. I place my thumb and forefinger under her chin, tilting her head up, but she keeps her eyes lowered.

“You may look at me.”

As she lifts her gaze and our eyes meet, the connection between us more intense than it has ever been; a deeper understanding passing between us; a shared need for something more, something…darker. I feel my calm, controlled confidence return. My dick hardening in response to the power I wield over her. I was born to be a Dominant. I was destined to be
her
Dominant. It’s all I know.

“Are you a submissive, Nyx?” The silence after those words leave my lips, seems to go on for an eternity. My entire body vibrating as I finally ask the question I haven’t let her answer until now.

“Yes…Master Callaghan...”

Her voice is like velvet; her words the greatest aphrodisiac. Even though I knew the answer, hearing her say it…out loud…is such a fucking turn on.

“How long have you been a submissive?”

I don’t know if I want to know the answer. To think of another Dom owning her, seeing to her every need…

“Four years, Master Callaghan.”

I am devastated by her revelation. So much time spent avoiding her, shielding her from this side of myself. I clench my fist tighter around the flogger, knowing that I need to let this anger subside before I touch her.

Her eyes lift to mine, filled with a tender vulnerability, and everything else falls away. There is no one but us. Those that have gone before have been erased, and there will never be another.

I want her with a passion so fierce, so all-consuming, but, before I touch her, I need her to spell it out for me. I need complete assurance that we want the same thing.