Desolate Souls (Forgotten Souls MC, #1) (35 page)

The sound of Trix’s voice grates on my nerves. I’ve always hated her, but now I completely despise her. “Yeah,” I mutter, not bothering to turn my head.

“How is he?” Trix asks, her voice increasing in volume as she approaches.

“He may not make it,” I say, contradicting what I know is fact. Jax will make it, of that I have no doubt.

“No,” Trix whispers, her voice barely audible. “How did this happen?”

“I was hoping you would tell me,” I say, training my glare on Trix.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Trix says, lowering her eyes. She’s lying.

“You can stop with the fuckin’ games Trix, because I know you’re behind this. Did you think Jax would come running to you if Alana wasn’t in the picture? Because if that’s the case, you’re even dumber than I thought.” My words are direct and brash, but not unwarranted. She is as heartless as they come, only concerned with herself, or at least that’s what she wants everyone to believe.

“I...”

“Before you say another word, let me lay it on the line for you. I want Alana home safely, no matter the cost. You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.” Trix says nothing for several moments, letting my words sink in.

“Are you trying to negotiate with me?” she smirks, looking far too confident.

“I think you got it backwards. You’re gonna negotiate with me.” I’m not gonna spell it out for her, at least not just yet. Uncovering Trix’s affiliation with Paul came too late, but the intel I discovered may give me the pull I need to bring Alana home again.

“I think I’m the one holding the upper hand here, not you.”

Keep telling yourself that.
“Is that so? Because the way I see it, there’s no way your four of a kind can beat my royal flush. Now that I’ve raised the ante, you have a choice to make. You can either fold or call. What’s it gonna be?” Once I have her admission, only then will I offer my assistance.

Letting out an exasperated sigh, Trix narrows her eyes at me. “I don’t have time for your games. I came to see Jax.”

“You’re not even curious enough to want to see my hand? And here I thought you were a high roller. Guess I was wrong.”
Come on, Trix. Don’t let me down now.

“I don’t know where Paul is and I definitely don’t know where he took Alana,” Trix says, shaking her head.

Turning towards her, I can’t help but smile. “Is that so?”

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One Week Later

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D
owning the last of my scotch, I slam the empty glass on the bar top before rising to my feet. Biding my time has been hard, but in order to gain Trix’s cooperation, I had to put the fear of God in her. I have to hand it to her, she’s a lot tougher than I gave her credit for, but in the end she did cave.

Methodically, I make my way towards the basement, pausing at the bottom of the stairs when I see Red seated on an empty crate staring in my direction. His arms are crossed, the look on his face one of pure disgust.

“Got a problem, old man?” I ask, closing the distance between us.

He says nothing for several minutes, but his posture speaks volumes. “You think your ol’ man would be proud of what you’re doin’ in there? ‘Cause I’m here to tell you you’re wrong,” he says, breaking the silence.

“And why’s that, old man?”

“You know better than anyone why Ace created this club. Just because he’s not here doesn’t give you the right to disrespect everything he stood for.”

As I shake my head, I can’t help the chuckle that erupts from within. Red thinks he knows what’s going on, believes I am a monster, but he couldn’t be farther from the truth. My methods may be somewhat unorthodox, but they work. “Glad to see you still think so highly of me.” Red has never hidden the fact that he doesn’t think I deserve my newfound role within the club. In fact, he was the only member to oppose me.

“I was there the night Ace brought you in,” Red speaks as he rises from his seat. “I know why he did what he did, but I warned him he was making a mistake. The weak don’t have what it takes to survive.”

“And you fault me for giving up.” It’s not a question, but a factual statement, one he vocalized to my father on more than one occasion. “Because I had accepted my fate, you believed I didn’t belong here.”

“You never did belong here. The Forgotten Souls was created for the strong. For people like me who never gave up hope, who fought to stay alive. But Ace didn’t agree with me, so he dismissed my concerns. If he could see you now, he’d realize what a mistake he made. We help people, not hurt them!”

“But some people aren’t worth helping,” I retort. He has all but said that my father should’ve abandoned me, never saved my life and allowed me to die alone and afraid.

“You’re right,” he says, his words full of venom and aimed directly at me.

I say nothing, pushing past him. Reaching for the handle, I pull the door open and stalk inside, knowing Red is following close behind. As I enter the room, Trix lifts her tear filled eyes to meet mine, giving me a pleading look.

“Now that you know the truth, what are you gonna do with me?” she whispers.

“What I promised I’d do,” I say as I close the distance between us. “I’ve got Spyder looking into it. We’ll find her.”

She nods her head, accepting my words as gospel. I never make a promise I don’t intend to keep and even Trix knows that. “I want to help,” she says abruptly. “I need to help. I think I know where they could be.”

“Alright,” I agree hesitantly. Trix is not in the right mindset to truly help, but I’ll give this to her. She needs to make amends and this is the only way she knows how. “We can head out now.”

“No,” she says defiantly. “I have to do this alone. If he sees you, who knows what he’ll do. Besides, I owe Alana this.”

I’m reluctant to agree, but she has a point. Paul is unstable, all about self-preservation. One wrong move could cost Alana her life. Slowly I nod my head in agreement, hoping I’m making the right decision.

“Thank you,” Trix whispers as she stands. “For everything.”

“All you ever had to do was ask.”

“I know that now.” Taking in a deep breath, Trix heads for the door. “Will you tell Jax?” she asks, turning back towards me. “Just in case I don’t make it back.”

“You’ll make it back and then you can tell him yourself.”

She smiles, the first genuine smile I’ve ever seen from her before she turns once again and exits the room.

“What the fuck was that?” Red asks, breaking the silence.

“That was someone coming to terms with their actions. Putting the good of others before themselves. A change of heart you could say.”

Reaching into my pocket, I pull out my buzzing cellphone, smirking when I see the text from Alexis.

Better hurry up or Jax’s breaking out of the joint.

Chuckling aloud, I make my way towards the exit.

“That’s it?” Red asks, stepping in behind me. “After all that, that’s all you got to say?”

“What do you want me to say?” I turn abruptly, my anger-filled gaze falling on him. “Guess my torture techniques far exceeded your expectations,” I snarl.

“I admit when I’m wrong,” he retorts, holding his hands up in defeat.

“It’s not about you being right or wrong, it’s about you making assumptions that are way off base. You want to know what all that was about? It was about uncovering the truth. Did I lock her in this room and make her believe I was gonna harm her? I sure as fuck did and I’d do it all over again if it meant bringing my family home! Did Trix finally admit her involvement with Paul because of that? Fuck yeah! She pleaded with me to hear her out, and then... then I learned the goddamn truth!”

“So you know where Alana is?” Red asks, his tone filled with regret.

“Trix believes she knows where Paul is staying.”

“And you trust that she’s telling you the truth? She could be fuckin’ playing you!”

“She’s not playing me,” I say definitively. “There’s too much at stake.” Her sister’s life hangs in the balance, and Trix is willing to do anything to ensure her return home safely.

Shaking his head, he looks at me with disdain. “You’re a goddamn fool.”

“For once in your life, you’re right. I am a fool, or at least I was, but no more,” I say as I exit the room. Pausing for a moment at the base of the staircase, I look over my shoulder at the man I had hoped to one day gain his respect. “Leave your cut with Spyder on your way out. The Forgotten Souls has no use for you any longer.”

As I climb the stairs, a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I no longer doubt my abilities to lead this club the way my father once did.

Two Days Later

“A
re you hungry?”

Closing my eyes, I turn my head, refusing to look at Paul as he enters the room. Nine very long days have passed since my world crumbled, the future I knew changed forever, and it is all because of him. Biting the inside of my cheek, I force myself not to cry.

“Why do you have to be so stubborn?” he asks, the cot I am seated on dipping as he sits down beside me. “Turning away every time I come into the room and refusing to talk at me accomplishes nothing. You’re only making this harder on yourself.”

“What would you like for me to say?” I ask through clenched teeth, still looking away.

“She speaks!” he chuckles. “At least that’s a start. Maybe we’re finally getting somewhere.”

Opening my eyes, I turn to face him. “Fuck. You.”

“My dear, sweet Alana. What has Jax done to you?”

Just the mention of Jax’s name brings tears to my eyes, ripping at my soul.

“You’re pathetic.” His tone is filled with discontent. “You’ll shed a tear for the man who abandoned you when you needed him most, but turn your back on the only man who stood by you through thick and thin.”

I remain silent, denying him a response. That is what he wants and I refuse to give it to him. 

“Fine,” he says as he stands. “Have it your way, but sooner or later, you’ll come around.”

I say nothing as he storms from the room, jumping at the sound of the door slamming shut behind him. Drawing in a ragged breath, I allow my emotions to surface.

There is nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. I am trapped in this prison. Alone. Afraid. I have only memories of the love I shared with a man who tried to save me and lost his life in the process.

“I never knew what love was until you.”
My mind continues to replay the night Jax asked me to be his wife. The sound of his voice, the feeling of his lips pressed to mine - all of it is gone, only the memory remaining.

“How am I supposed to go on without you?” I look around the abandoned room, half expecting to hear his voice telling me I am not alone, but am greeted with only silence.

Instinctively, my hand goes to my belly, a reminder that I will never be alone. Jax will forever live in my heart and in the eyes of the son we created. As long as I have him, I will get through this.

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