Destined (Vampire Awakenings) (39 page)

   Finally, she lifted her head and met her mother’s troubled gaze. “I just... I feel... awful,” she breathed.

   Her mother smiled knowingly and nodded as she dropped her roller down. “He’ll be back soon.”

   “I know it’s just that I don’t know what he’s doing, where he is,
or
who he’s with!”

   Her mother’s
forehead
furrowed as the jealousy in her sizzled to fierce life
, clawing at her, ripping her insides apart
. “Isabelle, he’s not with anyone else.”

   “How do I know that?” she snapped. “You heard Vicky and Abby! He could have his choice of women!
He could have anyone and I don’t know what he’s doing with them!
”

   “He doesn’t want anyone but you, Isabelle. You are it, for eternity. I doubted it at first. I thought your father would grow tired of me, or find someone else, or want someone else, but it’s impossible Isabelle. As unbelievable as that may sound, it
is
impossible.”

   Isabelle almost slumped against the wall, but managed to catch herself in time. “Why?”

   Her mother smiled softly and shrugged. “I don’t know, but if you don’t believe me, ask yourself if you would ever want anyone else?”

   The answer to that question was instantaneous. “No.”

   “Trust me when I tell you that it is the same for him.” Isabelle nodded wearily as she glanced around the empty living room. She was far from mollified. Her mother and father were different.
Isabelle
wasn’t even sure how Stefan felt about her, beside
s
thinking that she belonged to him, and that they were soul mates, but she wanted more. She wanted his love, and she wasn’t sure that she had it. “There’s more, isn’t there?”

   “D
oes
it hurt when dad bit
es
you?”

   Her mother frowned as her eyes darkened worriedly. “At first
it did
, but
now
it d
oes
n’t hurt at all, why?”

   Isabelle wrapped her arms around herself as she turned her gaze back to the window. “I was just wondering,” she mumbled.

   “Isabelle...”

   The opening of the door cut off whatever her mother was going to say. Isabelle’s heart picked up with anticipation as her arms fell back to her sides. Acute disappointment crashed over her as Ethan came strolling in with Jack, and Ian. Boxes were balanced haphazardly in their arms as they paused in the doorway to take in the half painted living room. “Looking good,” Jack
commented
.

   “Us, or the walls?” her mom asked happily.

   “Both,” Jack replied with a bright grin. “Although, I’m not sure what has more paint on it, you guys, or the walls.”

   Isabelle smiled as she glanced down at her paint splattered clothing, and arms. She was usually meticulous when she painted, but tonight she had been unable to keep her mind focused on what she was doing. “I’m going to go take a shower,” she muttered.

   She left the room
quickly;
ignoring the curious stares cast her way. She rushed up the stairs, suddenly needing the sanctuary of her room, and the comfort of a shower. She lingered beneath the pounding stream of water, hoping that it would ease some of the torment rolling through her body. Ease some of the tension in her muscles, and cramped chest. When it became obvious that the water wasn’t going to ease her pain, she shut it off and climbed tiredly out.

   Everything in her hurt. Everything ached. She
slid
her nightgown over her head, brushed her hair, and moved back into the bedroom. Stefan’s scent lingered everywhere, only serving to reinforce the tearing loneliness ripping at her heart and stomach. She sat miserably on the bed, drew her knees up to her chest, and wrapped her arms around them in an attempt to ward off the desolation that was beginning to consume her. Tears slid silently down her cheeks as she watched time slip slowly by.

   It was after eleven when the door finally swung open. Isabelle lifted her head, a cry of delight escaping her as she jumped off the bed and raced over to him. He grunted slightly from the force of her impact as she wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her head in his chest, clinging tightly to him as she cried. He kicked the door shut before wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close against him.

   The feel of him instantly caused the ache inside of her to ease, but her fear lingered as she tried desperately to get closer to him, to bury herself in him. It wasn’t enough, she couldn’t get close enough.

  
He lifted her chin gently with his finger, forcing her head up to meet his worried gaze. “What’s the matter love?”

   She shuddered as the endearment slipped from him, wrapp
ed
into her, and caus
ed
her insides to melt. “It hurts,” she whispered. “It hurts when you go away.” He smiled tenderly as his finger stroked her bruised cheek. “I was scared that you wouldn’t come back.”

   His eyes darkened as his hand stilled on her cheek. “I’m not going anywhere Isabelle, ever.” His tone was much harsher than he had intended, but her words had instantly angered him. How could she doubt how he felt about her?

   “You left once.”

   He gr
ound
his teeth as frustration seized him. “I’m not going anywhere without you Isabelle. The way that you feel when we’re apart, is the way that I feel.”

   She stared doubtfully up at him, her lower lip trembling slightly as tears coursed down her cheeks. “You can have anyone you want.”

   His eyes flashed as exasperation rolled through him. He was tired of constantly fighting her. She needed to know how he felt, needed to know that she was
his
, and that there would be no separating them. There was only one way that he knew how to do that for sure. Sharing blood would seal their
bond;
allow her to see into him, and for him to see into her. He couldn’t be entirely sure of how she felt either, until he was in her mind. Until he could open up
the
pathway of communication between them.

   He sighed wearily as he seized hold of her waist, lifted her up, and carried her swiftly over to the bed. He sat on the edge of it, gently settling her onto his lap. Her lashes fell to veil her eyes and shadow her cheeks. He nudged her chin gently, forcing her to look at him. The
vulnerabi
lity
in her gaze tore at his heart. “Isabelle, we’re soul mates. You belong to me, you’re a part of me, and I
am
a part of you.”

   She nodded slowly as her eyes slowly searched his face. “But...”

   “There are no buts,” he said forcefully. “That’s the way it is. You may not have wanted it, hell I didn’t want it.” Her eyes darkened as pain flashed through them. He silently cursed himself. He was supposed to be easing her fears, and doubts, not adding to them. “But I wouldn’t change any of it. If I had known that you were here, I would have come for you sooner. I was growing tired of traveling, tired of living alone. When I came here, and saw how happy everyone was, I wanted the same thing. When I first met you, I wanted you with a desire that was so consuming it bordered on obsession. When I left
here
I had no control over myself, or what I was doing. I
have
thought of nothing but
you
since the moment
we
met.”

   “What about Jess?”

   His hands tightened on her as his eyes flashed with rage. “
Shit
Isabelle, why can’t you ever just listen to what I’m saying to you! Must you always fight me?” he hissed.

   Her eyes widened in surprise as she swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. “I don’t mean too, I just... I’m jealous,” she confessed, her lids lowering to shadow her eyes again as a fierce blush crept into her cheeks.

   The confession
shot
a bolt of pure male satisfaction through him. He was glad that she was jealous, even if it did upset her. It helped to assure him that she truly did care for him, and he was happy to realize that he wasn’t the only one in this relationship who became easily jealous. He smiled softly as he brushed her hair off her cheek, gently pushing it behind her ear. “I can’t change my past Isabelle, but the minute that I met you I didn’t want anyone else.”

   Isabelle’s temper flared. He was lying to her, and if he would lie to her about this, than he would lie to her about anything. Her eyes flew back to his, narrowed with fury as
she stiffened. “Don’t lie to me.
I smelled her on you!”

   His eyes flashed with rage as his jaw clenched, and a vein popped out on his forehead. She glared defiantly back at him, refusing to back down. “I am not lying to you,” he grated.

   Isabelle’s eyes flared with fury as she struggled to break free of his grasp. He pulled her tightly back, his hands tighten
ed
upon her, rigid with anger as he clung to her. She ceased struggling as she turned toward him, her eyes burning a brilliant shade of red. It was the first time he had ever seen her completely lose control of the
demon
within her, and it shocked the anger out of him.

   “If you would lie about this, then what else are you lying about?” she yelled. It took him a moment to realize that it was more fear than anger that had her so riled up, and out of control. He sighed softly as he reached up to brush her cheek. She slapped his hand away as tears filled her eyes. “Don’t!”

   He took a deep breath and forced himself to remain calm. She was hurt, and angry, and scared that he didn’t care for her
.
A
nger was not going to help ease any of that. The only thing he could do to ease it, was to tell her the truth. That was the last thing that he wanted to do. She already wielded enough power over him, without handing her another weapon. “I went to bed that night with Jess, but I didn’t finish. Hell, I barely even got started. I couldn’t get you out of my head Isabelle. I got no satisfaction that night, or any afterward, until you. That is the truth.”

   She sat silently, her head bowed as she thought over his words. The burning jealousy in her made her want to lash out at him, but she held her tongue. She didn’t want to argue with him, but hurt, and fear, were eating away at her. There were so many women in his past, how could he possibly be happy to settle down with just he
r for the rest of his existence?
A tear slid down her cheek, he gently wiped it away as he turned her head to face him.

   She lifted her lashes slowly to meet his tender, loving gaze. It melted her to the tips of her toes. He smiled gently as he stroked the tears from her face. “Besides, what about all the men in your past, maybe you’ll run off with one of them?”

   He tried to keep his tone light and teasing, but the thought damn near drove him over the brink of sanity as a fierce surge of possessiveness tore through him. He would kill anyone that ever thought of taking her from him, of touching her. Her eyes widened as all the color drained from her face. He frowned at her in perplexity as she tore her chin from his grasp.

   “There are no m
e
n in my past!” she snapped, her eyes flashing violently. “You are it!”

   He sighed softly as he realized that she had completely misunderstood. “Isabelle, I know you were a virgin, but you’re a beautiful woman I’m sure you had boyfriends in high school,” he soothed. She lowered her lashes, but not before he caught the shimmer of tears in her eyes. “Isabelle...”

   “There was no one else,” she whispered so softly that he barely heard her. The tips of her lashes were wet against her skin as another tear slid free.   

   He frowned as he stared at her. “What are you saying?”

   Her face flooded with color as she shifted uncomfortably in his lap. She was certain that she had never been this humiliated in her life. This whole situation was so unfair! She fervently wished that she had flung herself at every boy in high school, and every guy she had met since then, just so she could be on somewhat of a level playing field with him. Then again,
even
if she had slept with every guy in high school, his side of the field would still be a lot fuller than hers. 

   “Isabelle,” he prompted gently. He hadn’t thought it was possible, but her face turned even redder as she stubbornly refused to meet his gaze.

   “You’re the first
everything
Stefan.”

   Again he had to strain to hear what she was saying, but when the words sank in, they knocked the breath out of him. He stared at her in awe, as supreme conquest flooded him. No one, but him, had ever touched her.
His
satisfaction vanished as another tear slid down her scarlet face. It was then that he truly began to understand what she had been going through, why she was so unsure of herself, and his commitment to her. Where her past was a blank slate, his was a scroll that could cover miles of land. It had to be very
intimidating
and frightening to know that.