Destroying the Wrong (13 page)

Katherine

I wasn’t sure what was worse — freezing up when Walt had attacked me or having to re-count the story over and over. The nurse at the hospital ran tests and gave me my first “woman” exam, even though I told her he hadn’t gotten that far. Their protocol overruled everything I had to say. It didn't help my mom’s freaking out when they asked to run extra tests. The counselor thought I may have been hiding information or not wanting to share things because I was in denial. Honestly, I think I was the only sane person in that room.

I wanted to call Alissa when I got home, but my mom crawled in bed with me and made sure I fell asleep right away, even though I didn’t. I heard her crying at one point but nothing I could say would make her feel any better.

I didn't dream about the attack like the counselor had warned I would.

The next morning I woke up alone and could finally breathe again. I was a little sore where Walt had tried to force his fingers and along my back where he’d pinned me against the wall. I was lucky nothing else had happened, though it would take a while before I was no longer embarrassed. The stupid classes on what to do if you faced an attacker they offered during P.E. had ended up being completely useless in the face of what had happened last night.

I walked into the kitchen and found my mom staring into her coffee mug.

“Do you need a refill?”

Her head shot up straight and I knew I had startled her. “Actually, I need to make another pot. Do you want a cup?” She looked like she hadn’t slept a wink and I felt guilty for not consoling her when I’d heard her crying.

“Sure. Please.” I sat down at the table and watched her fumble around the kitchen. The smell of coffee perked me up some. My mom stood by the coffee maker watching it trickle down slowly into the pot. “I'm sorry I scared you last night, Mom. I know I shouldn’t have followed him into the back room, but it never crossed my mind that he would end up being a perv,” I smiled a little trying to use humor so I wouldn’t cry.

She looked over at me and I could see the tears forming in her eyes. “Kitty Kat, this was in no way your fault. Why would you apologize? I just can't stop thinking about what
could have happened
.” She shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose fiercely.

“I froze up. I know I'm stronger than that, I could have stopped him from getting as far as he did, but I froze. It was stupid and really, I just don't want to ever talk about it again.” I played with my fingernails to have an excuse to look down, aware that my mom was standing next to me, but I couldn't look at her. She looked like she had been through hell and I couldn't take that back.

She leaned down and hugged me from the side. “If I hear you blame yourself one more time or say how stupid you were, I'll start drawing pictures all over the covers of your beloved books. No one deserves what you went through, Kitty Kat,” she said, pulling me in for a full hug. Mom and I had never been good at expressing feelings out loud, so whenever we had something deep to talk about, we typically wrote each other letters.

I wanted to ask about Walt and find out what had happened to Dillon but by the time she set my coffee down in front of me, I realized the discussion would only upset her more. I made my mom go back to bed and promised not to leave the apartment or even open the door unless I was positive about who was on the other side. Once I was sure she was asleep, I went back into my room and called Alissa.

She answered on the first ring. “Oh my God, Kat! Are you okay? Where are you?”

I smiled at the sound of my best friend's voice. “I'm home. Mom just went back to bed and I need to take a shower, but I wanted to make sure you're okay. Is Dillon okay?”

“Get in the shower. I'm coming over. I need to get out of this house and I need a Kat-hug.”

She didn't even let me answer before she hung up and I figured I would have a good fifteen minutes before she started pounding on the door. I took a quick shower even though my muscles were begging me to stay under the hot water longer with just enough time to put on a robe and throw my hair up into the towel before my text alert went off letting me know Alissa was outside.

“I didn't want to knock because you said your mom was back in bed.” She didn't knock her boots off outside, leaving a trail of snow through the entryway.

“How thoughtful of you.” I closed the door and double-checked the locks. I normally didn’t remember to lock the doors, but I promised my mom. Once I turned back around, Alissa wrapped me up into her arms and we stood there until my towel slid off my head.

Alissa stepped back and looked me up and down a couple of times.

“What are you looking at?” I looked down to make sure my robe hadn’t opened up.

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” Tears started pooling in her eyes. I brought her in for another hug even though my wet hair was probably cold against her cheek.

I whispered in her ear, “I'm fine. Really. I just froze up and now I feel stupid, but physically, I'm totally fine.” I pulled back and wiped away a tear that had fallen down her cheek. She smiled at me, but the creases in her forehead told me she was still worried.

“I should probably get dressed. Why don't you grab a cup of coffee and meet me in my room?”

She nodded and I handed her my empty cup from the table.

I looked at myself in the mirror before getting dressed and didn't notice any marks or bruises, thank goodness.
Walt wasn't even strong enough to bruise me and I still couldn't stop him? Ugh!
I made a mental note to talk to Matt about asking Scott if he could start me on an exercise program. Maybe not a lot of cardio, but I needed to be strong enough to at least throw a guy off me.

My hair was still somewhat damp, so I threw it up in a bun. Some of the layers were too short and fell back around my face. It wasn’t like anyone besides Alissa and my mom were going to see me today.

Alissa strode into my room, set the coffee cups down on my desk, and pitched backward onto my bed to look up at the ceiling.

“Feel free to sleep. I know we didn’t get any around here last night.”

“Yeah, right. I can’t stop thinking about how one night can change things. Everything.”

“Did you see Dillon before you came over or was he still sleeping?”

Alissa lifted her head up and looked at me like I was crazy. “Kat, he's still at the police station. Didn’t anyone tell you what has been happening?”

“No, they just kept asking me questions and checking me for things. It was really embarrassing. Why is he still at the station? I would think Walt would be there, not him.”

“Walt is still in the hospital, unresponsive as of this morning, and they're holding Dillon,” she said, her face turning flushed in anger.

I wasn't quite sure what to say to that, having a hard time processing all of this new information. “How badly did Dillon hurt him?” My muscles trembled as I thought about how much trouble Dillon could be in.

Alissa shrugged. “I don't know,” she sighed.

“Should I go down to the station and talk to them again? Maybe if I explain what happened, they'll let Dillon go?” I was standing in the middle of the room and Alissa jumped off the bed to give me a hug.

“I don't think that would do any good, Kat. We just have to wait for Walt to wake up. Trust me, I asked my parents about a million times what I could do and they didn't have any suggestions either. Besides, shouldn't you be concentrating on yourself right now?”

“Unless you have a way to make me feel less stupid or any less guilty about Dillon, I really don't know where to even start.” We both plopped down on my bed, lying side-by-side. I reached for Alissa's hand and we both held on in silence.

~*~

We had fallen asleep but woke up when my mom came in to tell us Alissa's mom was looking for her.

“It’d better be good news.” Alissa rolled off my bed and onto the floor, stretching.

“Mom, what time is it?” I asked, too lazy to look at my phone.

“A little after one. Alissa, make sure you call your mom. She sounded anxious.” Mom walked over to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek before she left the room.

Alissa called her mom and I tried to listen in but couldn't really make out what was being said. She kept a straight face throughout the conversation and I couldn’t tell if that was good or bad.

“Okay, I'll be home soon. Love you, too.” She hung up and tucked her phone into her back pocket.

“Well?” I tried to keep my rising anxiety in check.

“Dillon is being released. Walt woke up and they're keeping him at the hospital for observation. Something about his brain swelling? Walt's family wants to press charges, but I don't understand all the legal crap, so I'll let my parents worry about that part.” She sounded annoyed, but I felt relieved Dillon was being released.

“I'm so glad Dillon gets to go home now, and I'm glad Walt isn't dead, but…” I could only shrug. What nice things could I possibly say about Walt? “Wait, you haven't even mentioned Matt. How's he doing with all of this?”

“Who cares? He actually went to the hospital to see Walt and then didn't call me, blaming Scott for what happened.”

“What does Scott have to do with any of this?” I didn't remember much after I ran into Alissa's arms. I was too embarrassed to hang around and make sure everyone else was okay.

“I'm not sure, but I think Matt just used him as an excuse for his actions and also Walt's. I was too mad at him when he tried to talk to me earlier to care what he had to say. I really am sick of his shit.” Alissa tugged hard on her bootlaces, her shoulders going tight.

“Sometime soon you're going to have to explain to me what is going on with Matt. You don't seem into him at all anymore.”

“He's changed. I need space and he can't seem to give it to me.”

“Are you sure it isn't you that's changed?” I said that with my soothing voice so she wouldn't think I was attacking her.

“Maybe I have, but that doesn't mean he should be smothering me!” She walked out of my room to the front door, obviously angry. I followed and grabbed her arm before she could leave.

“I didn't mean to upset you. I love you, don't forget that. But is there something going on between you and Scott?”

Alissa put on her jacket and reached for the door. “There’s nothing going on. I'll call you when Dillon gets home and I know more. Okay?”

“Give me a hug before you go!” I demanded. She rolled her eyes but gave me what I asked for. “Please tell Dillon I'm so sorry for what happened.”

“I will. Love you too, Kat.”

~
*~

“Are you ready to go to your appointment?” My mom peeked her head in my bedroom, showing me the time on her cell phone.

“Why do I have to do this again?”

“Because it’ll make your mother very happy. And because it’ll be good for you,” she replied.

After the Walt incident, my mom let me have some time before insisting I go to a therapist. She thought it would be good for me to have someone to talk to about life and what I’d gone through. I was skeptical.

The therapist’s office was on my bus route but mom insisted she go with me to the first appointment.

“I’m sorry, Ms. Horne, you can’t be in the room during her session,” the therapist told her as I was directed into the room.

I looked back at her, shrugging because I didn’t really want her in the room anyway.

“Please, have a seat, Katherine.”

I sat down across from her. Her office had a desk and two oversized chairs. There was some scent that I couldn’t identify but it was pleasant.

“For our first session, I would like to invite you to speak about whatever is on your mind,” she said, crossing her left leg over her right.

She seemed very professional but I couldn’t take her seriously. I didn’t want to talk to a stranger about anything. “What would you like to know?”

“Whatever is on your mind, Katherine.”

“My best friend, Alissa, is seeing this guy, Matt.
But then there’s this other guy, Scott, that she talks to on the side. He owns the gym she goes to and I’m convinced there’s something going on between them but she won’t admit to it.”

“Why do you think she won’t open up about it to you?” she asked.

“I don’t know. We used to tell each other everything.”

“Have you shared with her how you feel regarding Walt?”

Just his name made me cringe. “No. I don’t like to talk about it.”

She jotted something down on her notepad. “Why?”

“Because it’s my problem, no one else’s. I just want to forget about it.”

“Maybe she feels like you have a lot already on your plate and doesn’t want to give you something else to concern yourself with?” she asked, writing on her notepad.

“It’s different.”

“Different how, Katherine?”

“My experience was physical. I felt sore after it happened but once that went away, there’s nothing else to deal with. What she’s going through is emotion, I assume.”

“You don’t feel like you have anything emotional to deal with?”