Destroying the Wrong (9 page)

Alissa: What makes you think I won't tell him?

Scott: If you were going to tell him, you would have stopped coming to the gym and told him about our last conversation.

I knew he was testing me, but why was he still flirting with me, and why was I smiling? I was supposed to love Matt, but Scott was right. It was fun flirting, knowing Matt wouldn’t have a clue. It was just harmless flirting, anyway.

Alissa: I'll send you one if you send me one.

Scott: I'm at a meeting and you're teasing me.

I knew how bad it would be to send him a picture, but I walked into the bathroom and took one anyway. I left my head out of the picture just in case someone else saw. I took my shirt off, leaving me in only my black bra. When I hit the send button, I giggled to myself. He hadn’t specified what type of picture and I liked that he thought I was a tease.

Scott: You have no idea what you do to me. Make sure you erase these texts. Goodnight beautiful.

He thinks I'm beautiful?

I laid in bed for hours before I finally fell asleep, thinking about how badly I wanted to talk to him. Scott, not Matt, was in my dreams that night.

Katherine

“Did you like the movie?” Jamison asked me on our way back to my apartment. He’d taken me on our first movie date. We held hands towards the end of the movie after I’d shamelessly kept my palm up on the arm-rest separating our seats, hoping he would get the hint.

“It was okay. Not the type of movie I usually watch.” I tried not to sound disappointed, but I swore to myself that I would never watch another movie with the word “die” in the title.

He laughed. We didn’t have any trouble talking on the phone but in person, it seemed a little awkward. We pulled up to the apartments and I was glad my mom was home. I didn’t want the pressure of inviting him in. I really liked him, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was hiding something.

“Can I walk you to the door?” He turned the car off and looked over to me for a response.

“No, it’s fine. It’s only a couple of feet away.” I smiled at him as he was looking down at his phone. “I know this sounds weird, but do you have a girlfriend?”

His head snapped up with surprise. “What makes you think that?” He shut his phone off and gave me his full attention.

I waved it off, embarrassed that I’d even asked him. He leaned over and before I knew it, his lips were covering mine. He tasted like buttered popcorn. The kiss started with a couple of pecks, but then he parted my lips with his tongue. I tried not to laugh, but I giggled softly. I had never kissed a boy before with my tongue and it felt a little weird.

“Is something wrong?” he asked in response to my little giggle.

I knew I was turning all shades of red and felt mortified. “No, nothing’s wrong. I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting a kiss.”

He shook his head and smiled at me. “You’re so cute when you blush.” He lifted my hand up to his lips and kissed my knuckles.

“Thank you for the movie,” I whispered.

“My pleasure.”

I got out and walked up to my door. Turning around, I waved goodbye. I watched him pull away before going inside.

He never actually gave me a straight answer about a girlfriend
.

~
*~

Winter break was a month away and the snow was beginning to fall more often. I’d actually written out a Christmas list for my mom this year, not having needed to before because all I’d wanted were books. I was trying to put more effort into my appearance, so I added clothes and some other girly things to my list. My mom seemed surprised and did a little dance because she now had an excuse to go shopping for scarves, shoes, and even hair clips.

I heard the front door open and Alissa yelled, “I'm here!”

“Can you make a pot of coffee before you come back here?” It was Saturday and my mom had to work, so I’d invited Alissa over to watch a movie to pass the time before I went to dinner with Jamison.

Alissa walked into my room carrying two cups of coffee. Her dark hair was pulled up into a bun on top of her head and it looked beautiful. My best friend really was a knock out. “Thank you,” I said taking my cup.

“Do you ever wear anything other than pajamas?”

I looked down and shrugged. “Not when I'm home. It’s not like there's anyone around to care.”

“I can't believe you don't dress up for me,” she said sticking out her tongue.

“Oh baby, you know I look sexy in this old t-shirt.” I used my sultry voice while batting my eyelashes, but I’m sure I sounded more like an elephant. “Where's Matt? He’s been sticking to your side lately. Are you really that good in bed?”

“Yes, yes, I am. He's at his house studying, thank goodness. The guy is driving me crazy! Every time I turn around, there he is! I'm shocked he isn't coming by the school to try and eat lunch with us.”

“Well, once you gave the boy some lovin', he couldn’t help but want it all the time.”

“It would be sweet if it weren’t so irritating. I need space.” Alissa got out her phone and typed a quick text. A second later, her text alert went off. I watched her type a reply, smiling like a school girl.

“Am I right to assume that was Matt?” I asked giving her an inquisitive look. I had a feeling it wasn’t. Since Matt had been so clingy, Alissa's reactions to his attention had not been very lovey-dovey.

“No, it's just Scott. You know, my trainer?” she said while walking out of the living room toward my bedroom.

“Scott the trainer is making you smile like you just saw Justin Timberlake?”

“Shut up, that’s not what I look like.” She rolled her eyes at me and walked away, toward my bedroom. At that point, I knew I couldn't push the subject any farther because she wouldn't talk. I followed her instead.

“Oh, hey, I forgot to tell you Dillon is coming home for the holidays! He asked about you the other night and I told him I was sure you couldn't wait to see him.” Alissa started flipping through the clothing magazines I had sprawled out across my bed. I wasn't sure if she realized, but every couple pages she would stick her tongue out, take a deep breath and say “ugh” on the exhale. I really did love her.

“Great! I know how much your parents have missed him.” I tried to hide my smile.

“And I'm sure you haven't thought about him once, eh?” Alissa knew about my crush, but I didn't think she had said anything to Dillon. At least I hoped not because if I knew he knew, I would be mortified. “He promised to go to the L.S.A.B. holiday event. You should come too since you ditched out on Homecoming and I know you’re gonna skip out on the school Winter Formal.”

She was right. I bailed on every school event. We were going to miss our senior prom and walking with our class during graduation, too. I knew how much the group meant to Alissa and it wasn’t like anyone would torment me at an anti-bullying party. “Ok, I'll go, but I don't want to hear one more word about it.” Alissa jumped off the bed, nearly spilling her coffee so she could hug me.

“Thank you so much! It'll be fun, I promise. Bring Jamison if you want. Maybe if Dillon sees you with him, it’ll make him jealous? And, hey, Walt will be there so you'll have to save him a dance.” I pushed her off of me and onto the floor so she landed on her butt.

Needing to change the subject before I over-thought my capitulation and made myself sick, I said, “I'm going out for dinner with Jamison tonight and I still think he's hiding something from me.”

“Okay,” Alissa said, “this is what you need to do. Leave your phone here on purpose and in the middle of dinner, ask to use his phone to call your mom. Step into the ladies room and after you hang up with her, look at his text messages.”

“That's brilliant. Where did you learn that trick?” I sat down on the floor, sipping my coffee.

“Scott says the best way to catch a cheater or liar is to get really good at it yourself.”

I didn't know how to feel about this Scott guy. I'd seen Alissa change over the past few months and originally I’d thought it had to do with her relationship with Matt, but I was starting to think Scott had an even bigger influence on her. I really wanted to spend more time around him. “Okay, any more advice?”

“Yes, if you look at his iPad or computer, make sure you close down all programs that you open and leave the screen looking exactly the way you found it. If you leave a program open that he hasn't used, he'll know someone was snooping.” She said all of this with a straight face, like everyone should know this information.

“Thanks for the advice, creeper. Let’s go watch the movie.”

“You could at least say it like you mean it,” she said, pouting. “And I’m not a creeper.”

“Oh stop, I was kidding. But really, you know so much more than you let on.”

~*~

It was entirely too cold outside to even attempt to dress up, so I threw on my snow boots and a nice sweater with my favorite pair of jeans. I was nervous sitting next to Jamison in his car, not because I was with him but because I would pull off my first detective job tonight. Also, I was afraid my gut instinct would be right and I wouldn't get to hang out with Jamison anymore.

I guess it didn't matter at this point because if he had a girlfriend, I couldn't trust him. He’d never actually asked me to be his girlfriend. I’d just assumed since we had kissed a couple of times that we were becoming official.
Maybe I should ask?

I blurted it out before I lost the nerve, “Do you consider me your girlfriend?”

He took his time answering the question, looking both ways multiple times before making a left into the restaurant parking lot. He parked the car and looked over at me with an expression I couldn't quite read. “I really want to get to know you better. Are you okay with the way things are right now?”

I wasn't really sure how to answer that. My gut told me not to rush into anything.
Do I?
“Yes.” As soon as I said it, I knew it was a lie.

He took my hand and brought it to his lips for a quick kiss. “Good, then let’s go eat.”

Jamison had picked one of the nicer Italian restaurants in town. I loved it here because they had the best bread sticks. We’d never held hands except at my house or in a dark theater, so we just walked side by side up to the door.
Maybe I embarrass him?
He opened the door for me and I gave him a smile because I thought it very gentlemanly of him. The restaurant had soft Italian music playing and candle-light danced on every table from inside oversized votives. The yummy smells of bread and spices made my mouth water.

Jamison asked the waiter to seat us in the corner. “It gives us more privacy,” he said. We ordered our dinner and I started telling him about my day.

“I've never met Scott, but I really don't think I like him. I'm afraid Alissa is getting a little too close to him, if you know what I mean. It’s weird to me that he’s talking to her so much, knowing she has a boyfriend.”

“Well, we
are only
in high school. Scott is new so it’s probably exciting. I like experiencing getting to know new people. Things are so different here compared to back home.”

His attitude was so cavalier about the whole situation that I finally made up my mind. I, scrunched up my nose and said, “Oh my gosh, I just realized that I left my phone at home. Can I borrow yours so I can call my mom? She should be getting off work soon and I don’t want her to worry about me.”

“Sure, of course.”

I gave him the number and watched him open his phone and punch it in before he handed it to me.

It started ringing so I stood up and said, “Excuse me for a minute.” I walked away toward the bathroom before he could object. Mom answered on the fifth ring.

“Hey, Mom, I just wanted to let you know that we made it to the restaurant safely. I left my phone at home on accident.”

“Are you feeling okay? You never leave your phone. It’s practically surgically attached to your hand.”

“I know, but I was in a hurry to leave. Talk to you later, okay?”

“Thanks for calling to let me know. I love you, Kat.”

“Love you too, Mom.”

As soon as the screen lit up to show the call was disconnected I started pushing buttons. I looked at the last phone calls made and saw my number a few times and a few calls to a Kimberly. I didn't recognize the area code. He had never mentioned her but for all I knew, she could be a family member. I quickly opened up the texts and there was Kimberly again. The last couple texts were all I needed as my proof that my gut was officially spot on.

Kimberly: Miss you. Love you. xoxo

Jamison: Miss you and love you more.

Acid started creeping up into my throat, burning so much that I gagged. Thank goodness I hadn't eaten yet. I stared at the floor trying to control my breathing so tears would stay away. I needed to go home and I needed to leave right-fucking-now. There was no way I could sit at that table and eat knowing what I knew. The restaurant was too far away from home for me to walk but there was no way I could stay. I refused to make a scene and relive the mall all over again.

I walked back over to our table and handed Jamison his phone. “I'm not feeling very well. Please, take me home.” I held my stomach like it was upset, which it was.

“What's wrong? We haven't eaten yet, are you sure we need to leave?”

“Yes, I need to go home. Right now.” I walked away from the table toward the front door and the hostess held it open for me as I stepped into the crisp night. When I got to the car I took a couple of deep breaths, the air cold but perfect against my flushed cheeks. Jamison came out a couple of minutes later with a worried look on his face. He unlocked the car but didn't get into the driver’s side. Instead, he walked over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“What is it? What hurts?”

I wanted to throw him off me, but I just stood there frozen. “Please, just take me home.”

“Okay.” He looked devastated as he walked to the other side of the car and got in. I didn't say anything the entire ride home and neither did he.

He parked the car but didn't turn it off. “Are you going to be okay? Can I call you later?”

“Why don't you just call Kimberly. She’s the one you really miss, right?” I reached for the door handle, unable to bring myself to look at his lying face. Actually, I was proud of myself for being able to say anything at all.