Determination (13 page)

Roxie sat up. Thanks to her healing powers, warmth was returning, but Mom’s touch brought warming to a stop. She raised her sword and pointed it at her mother’s face. “Let go and back off.”

Mom surged to her feet and backed up several steps as the ground and walls shook.

Still shivering, Roxie pushed to her feet, sword ready. She couldn’t stand up straight because she was shivering so hard. She hugged her shield arm to her side as she willed herself to keep her sword up.

“Don’t do this. I need to get out of here.”

Taking in the horns, the fangs, the roiling darkness enveloping her like a halo, Roxie gave her mother a look of disgust. “Do you have... no remorse... for what you’ve done to me?” She knew what the answer would be and that made her stomach drop.

“Please. I need all your energy. Think of what I’ve been through!” She held out her arms longingly, like a mother holding them out for a child to run to and receive a loving hug.

Roxie’s heart ached, knowing that would never be.

Sekiro stood beside her, watching Mom. “I’m sorry, Roxie. I didn’t think it would be this bad.”

“It’s not... your fault.” Lowering her shivering sword arm, she turned for the exit. “I’m ready to go.”

“
No
!” Mom wailed. She lunged for them at human speed, shadow hands leading the way.

Roxie held up her shield arm like an officer directing traffic to stop, halting Mom’s assault mid-stride. Mom’s eyes widened. Roxie slowly lowered her arm and held her concentration, rooting her mother in place. She took a deep breath and spoke in a low, furious voice. The walls and floor began to shake like they were being rattled by thunder. “You are going back to your hellhole to think. Nothing but think. And without my stolen energy.” Furious as she was, she still didn’t want to stab the one person that was her mother, but this was a necessary evil. Her eyes stung with tears as she took in the blood covering her mother. She twisted her body and drove her sword between the outstretched arms and through her mother’s heart. “Now go.” The ground and walls shook again.

Mom’s body lightened to human skin tones and the darkness pulled away from her as if the shadow people were pulling it to them. The shadow hands evaporated and her arms dropped at her bloodied sides. She looked at Roxie with absolute despair lining her face, and then her gaze grew unfocused. Roxie pulled out her sword and watched her mother’s body fade like smoke thinning over a dying fire. A diminished black specter whisked away down the hall and slipped into a room halfway down, leaving a trail of despair in its wake.

Roxie looked at her glowing sword, then sheathed it. Sekiro beckoned to her and together they left the hospital and stepped out into sunlight. The despair left every part of her body but her heart. Tears blurred her vision and she felt the intense glowing in her eyes soften to the familiar warmth.
Nope, don’t cry.
Crying would only take energy she didn’t have to spare. She wiped them away but more fell, so she let them fall freely. “Man, I’m crying so much lately.”

“It’s okay. Let’s put some distance between you and this hospital.” Sekiro took her hand. Together they leapt into the air and flew off. Roxie wanted to ask where they were going, but it was taking all her energy to beat her wings. She’d have her answer soon enough anyway.

The ground fell away beneath them and became a blur. With the sun on their right, they headed north. It felt like only seconds had passed by the time the ground came back into focus, yet continued to roll on by. The ground was all pine trees and snow, with patches of frozen water gleaming in the sunlight. Sekiro let go of her hand and veered towards a snowy island in the middle of a lake-sized body of water. They sank inside a circle of trees and alighted next to a pile of boulders worn smooth and cracked with time. Roxie didn’t feel the cold so she leaned against one of the boulders and slipped to the ground. “I’ll be right back. I really need...”

“I know. You’re safe here.” Sekiro gave her a sympathetic smile and took a seat on one of the rocks.

Roxie closed her eyes and meditated her way to her altar of food. Her heart sank at the sight of shadow people hovering maybe ten feet away. She picked up the smudge stick and shooed the shadow people away with the smoke it emanated. They ran off into the darkness. Roxie wanted to bawl her eyes out so bad. She couldn’t seem to find one place where she’d be left in peace.

She wiped her tears and returned to her food. Three slices of quiche, two granny smith apples, and two glazed chocolate doughnuts awaited her consuming pleasure, but she felt anything but hungry. She felt too heartsick to want any food. Instead she returned the smudge stick and picked up the small bouquet of jasmine flowers, hugged them to her chest, and sat on the dark, featureless ground. She leaned against one of the table legs which, to her surprise and relief, held her up. She breathed in the soft scent, enjoying the flowers her own loving grandmother had left for her. And that’s when she remembered she still had places to go and a god to take down.

Roxie opened her eyes and studied the flowers’ white petals. Beautiful dainty things. With a soft sigh, she made herself get back to her feet. The food still didn’t tempt her but she forced herself to pick up a doughnut and start eating. Her mother was a huge disappointment, nothing more than a hole in her heart, but the pain would lessen with time. She had a feeling it would never completely vanish, even though she sorely hoped it would.

The first bite of food awoke her appetite. She set aside the flowers and began eating in earnest. She glanced around after the doughnuts were gone. To her relief, there wasn’t a single shadow person in sight. She felt like she could cry about that, too. But she didn’t. She ate everything on the altar, then picked up the flowers once again, lay on the ground with the bouquet tucked under her chin, and went to sleep with one of her wings draped over her like a blanket.

Chapter 8

Kara’s Secret

Baku materialized next to Aerigo’s corpse and took in the blood and lifelessness. Eyes closed, mouth slightly ajar with a line of blood across it where Roxie had passed a loving, heartbroken finger, arms at his sides, and his booted feet shoulder-width apart, never to bear his weight again. Roxie had lain him down with care but the rock offered Aerigo’s body no comfort. Blood had soaked through all of his shirt and dribbled into a pool beneath him. Baku knelt beside him, chest and throat tight.

He spread his arms, intent on embracing the corpse to his chest, but he stopped and took in the sheer amount of blood staining Aerigo’s clothes. With a thought and gesture of a hand, he wiped away the blood and sent it back into Aerigo’s body as if a vacuum were sucking it in. Then he pulled moisture out of the air and encased the corpse in ice.

He wasn’t ready to bury him yet. Sure, he could turn the body to dust and send it to more peaceful corners of the universe, but not yet. The death was still too near. He wasn’t in denial though. Having endured the lives and deaths of countless mortal creatures of his own, acceptance and grief management had been well learned. But one Aigis--his first Aigis--this was different. Felt different. It felt like a piece of his being had been killed the moment Aerigo had died. He’d felt it like a bullet to his heart. It’d left him physically, emotionally, and mentally stunned up to the moment Roxie had vanished. Not died; vanished. And now Nexus’s prophecy rampaged unchallenged.

Baku knelt over Aerigo’s head and pressed his forehead to Aerigo’s as tears bled freely. He clutched Aerigo’s head as memories played in his mind: the day they’d first met, snippets of watching him learn and grow as an Aigis and a mortal, all the training he’d undergone, wars he’d fought in, lives he’d saved, lives he’d taken, women he’d loved, yet Sandra and Roxie standing out far above the rest, the times with Daio and against him, the many a deep conversation between them, his loneliness from outliving so many mortals, the breaking of his heart and spirit after the loss of Sandra, the slow mending, and finally the moments after Roxie had entered his life. Baku sorely wished he hadn’t inadvertently interrupted their moment together on the ground in his realm. Such a beautiful thing to flourish between two mortal souls.

Baku sent Aerigo’s corpse to his realm, right on the spot in the grass where he and Roxie had cuddled together. He couldn’t think of a more fitting place before bringing himself to let go of the mortal husk that had hosted a good, kind soul. Baku’s hands sank to the rocky ground as the corpse disappeared out from under them. He took a moment to absorb what he’d done, then forced himself to open his eyes and take in the bare rock before him. There was no blood; just rock and dust. He passed a hand across the sandstone and made himself get up. He had a lot of questions for his son, including Roxie’s whereabouts. None of them would get answered while he sat there, lost in grief, with a mortal war waging nearby.

Din materialized in front of him, his normally bright blue eyes a stormy grey, and fiery red hair faded almost to a strawberry blonde. He had taken on the form of his mortals from Sconda, the people Aerigo and Roxie had gone to for speed training. Din wore funeral ceremony attire: white shirt with wide long sleeves that fell just past his fingertips, and golden buttons down the front, a circle of white cloth draped over his shoulders with black-thread embroidery depicting running mortals with swirls of lines representing wind, and white gaucho pants with more black embroidery on the cuffs. “What did you do with Aerigo’s body?” His voice came out tight and emotional.

“I safely stowed it on my realm. I’m not ready to part with it yet.”

Some color returned to Din’s hair. “Oh, thank you. I want to pay my respects to him when the time is right.”

“I understand.” Baku glanced at the plateau where several gods stood, watching the war unfold. Nexus wasn’t among them. He had run off with Kara to his temple. Baku was about to join them, but one thing first. He glanced at the carnage, then focused on Din. “Why did I do nothing but watch?”

Din tore his eyes from the war. “What do you mean?”

“What just happened to my two Aigis... I did nothing but watch. Kara’s the one who had the wit to stop it.”

Din gave him an understanding nod. “I understand where you’re coming from, but you’re forgetting how costly it is for gods to fight each other, especially Creators. Our mortals suffer with us when we fight. They’re already suffering enough with this prophesied war, and then we’ll all have to deal with the outcome when that comes to pass.”

“But Aerigo and Roxie were the last two Aigis,” Baku said, anger building. “They were the only ones who could stop this war from being played out in full.”

“It was a long shot, Baku. We really needed more than two but, to our great misfortune, they all died off over the past few thousand years. Aigis aren’t created lightly. You know that.”

“I do, but...”

“Really think about it, Baku. If you’d jumped in before Aerigo had died, then what? What would stop other gods from jumping in to protect Nexus? Suddenly your two Aigis would’ve had more opponents than they could’ve possibly handled. That’s what stayed my hand and voice.”

Baku’s mind unfolded a scenario with dozens of gods jumping into the fray to either protect Nexus or the two Aigis. That would’ve turned into a huge fight that would’ve dwarfed the unfolding mortal conflict. He winced at the idea. “You’re right.” Still, the current scenario wasn’t much better. He was going to have to salvage what he could without the help of any Aigis. “I think I stayed back because I truly believed things were going to turn out better. But when only Roxie was left...” He thought a moment. “Dozens of scenarios played out in my head.” He shook his head. “Aerigo and Roxie had talked about what needed to be done for the greater good right before they came here.”

“The best option had been to let her die,” Din said with his gaze downcast.

“Yes,” he whispered.

“What happened to her? Where’d she disappear to?”

Memory of a winged Roxie falling out of the air and vanishing replayed in his mind. “I have no idea. She’s alive somewhere--somewhere perilous. Her life force keeps waning and waxing, but she’s alive.”

Din’s grey eyes turned a light blue and his hair a brighter orange. He straightened his posture and spoke in an energetic whisper. “Then maybe there’s still hope after all. She’s harnessed Frava. We should search for her!”

“No,” Baku said firmly. “I’m going to have a serious talk with my son and he’s going to tell me where he sent her.” He faced the plateau. A handful of gods were staring down at him, watching.

Din zipped over and stood in front of him with his arms out. “Don’t. You’ll have to beat the answer out of him. Your form says you and your creations can’t take much more of a beating. They’ll fall into an era of despair.”

Baku took in his bare arms and torso. His muscles had filled back out, but his body was still covered in bruises. His form looked like it had the vitality of a man in his forties. It was improvement from mortal weeks ago. “I won’t be fighting him. I’m done with all the fighting. We’re going to talk, him, Kara, and I. If he throws any punches, I won’t fight back. We’ll see what happens. Kara’s not her usual detached self all of the sudden. I have a feeling things will unfold differently than they have in millennia.”

Din stepped aside and placed a hand on Baku’s shoulder. “Good luck.”

Baku nodded, rose straight up into the air, and paused once he crested the plateau. Deities of all shapes, sizes, and forms followed his movements with scrutinizing gazes. Hopefully none of them would build up the gall to interfere with family matters. Sure, one or more of them might already have. His talk with Leviathan in Phailon made it sound quite likely. So which one--or ones--had corrupted his son?

Pushing the thoughts aside, he flew off to Nexus’s temple and alighted on the granite platform leading to two marble doors ten times taller than him. So egotistical of his son. The doors had stationary carvings in four sections of each door, the sculptures depicting mortal creatures from numerous worlds, all of them either reaching upwards or fighting another mortal. In the top four panels, four massive hands clawed downwards, as if crushing everything beneath them. A calligraphy script ran between the panels.

With a hand gesture he willed the doors open. They parted outwards with a weighty groan, making way for the vaulted hall within. The hall was barren, save for a muddy amber glow seeping in from the vaulted windows, and a throne on a dais. This room was just as empty as his son’s heart.

Baku pattered down the middle of the hall, his bare footsteps echoing with emptiness. The sound ate at his anger, making room for pity. His son was trying to fill a void in all the wrong ways, but right now pity was the last thing anyone in this family needed. He headed up the few stairs, past the throne, to a normal-sized marble door leading deeper into the temple. He’d never gone farther in than the hall before. He’d never been invited, nor had he ever wished to intrude on his son’s personal space. Despite all that’d happened between them, he still respected the privacy of the temple.

Yelling carried from deeper within. Kara’s yelling. And Nexus’s exasperated and fearful replies. So many emotions were emanating from their location in waves. Baku steeled himself as he reached for the brass door handle and pushed it open.

“Please, Mother! Just talk to me. I don’t know how to help you if I don’t know what’s wrong.”

Kara stood in a corner with her back to Nexus and the door. Her long black hair wavered like a wheat field in a heavy wind, and she held her arms were wrapped around her midsection. Nexus stood behind her billowing hair, arms halfway up to embrace her, yet not trying to get any closer.

“Just get away from me! I can’t take it anymore!”

“But I want to comfort you.”

“You’ll bring me comfort by not touching me!”

“But--”

Enraged at the sight, Baku sucked in a deep breath. “What’s going on here?” Both his wife and son spun and faced him, eyes wide. Kara’s beautiful green eyes watered with a fresh wave of tears. She actually looked... elated. Was he seeing her expression right? It’d been so long since he’d see anything but emotionless indifference.

Nexus narrowed his dark eyes. “Father, what are you doing here? Get out.”

“No.” He stepped inside and closed the thick door behind him. “We are going to talk.”

“I have nothing to say to you.”

He took a step closer. “Oh, yes you do. And I have a few words to share with you.”

“I don’t care.”

“You do, now.”

Nexus came at Baku with a snarl and raised fist. Baku steeled himself and braced for impact. He didn’t feel like dodging or blocking the attack. He was so done with all the fighting. Defending himself would only prolong it. He closed his eyes. A meaty smack filled the silence but he felt no pain.

Baku reflexively opened his eyes and wrapped his arms around the body that stumbled into him. His wife’s hair filled his vision and he almost let go in surprise. His arms hadn’t held her in millennia. Kara raised a hand to her temple and leaned against Baku, and he hugged her tighter, his chest filling with rage.

Nexus froze with his arm outstretched and eyes wide with horror, his face pale. He recoiled and straightened up, mouth agape. Instead of looking like a man in his early twenties, his demeanor came off more childlike. He swallowed. “Mother, I...” His voice sounded younger. “I’m sorry... I didn’t--”

“Then stop fighting!” Kara’s voice came out sharp enough to make Baku wince.

Nexus regained some of his maturity as he narrowed his eyes again. “For now.”

“Forever. I can’t take it anymore. I will jump between the both of you if you ever raise your fist to your father again.”

“Kara...” Baku breathed, his voice tight with emotion.

Kara twisted around and pressed her body to his, hands resting on his bruised bare chest. “Baku, I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to be so distant from you all this time. I didn’t see any other way to keep you two from fighting any less. I’m--”

“Shh. Don’t worry about it.” He pulled her teary face to his shoulder and hugged her tight. “All is forgiven.” How could he hate or resent her for any of it? He couldn’t. There’d been subtle signs everywhere over millennia. The way she talked with him, sparing as those moments were, the way she chose to be present or not present when father and son clashed, and so many more little things. “We’ll talk about it later.”

“Mother?” Nexus’s voice reverted back to childish, yet his form remained of a man in his early twenties, his bruises mostly gone. Baku took in his son’s helpless stare fixated on Kara. He looked for any signs of divine meddling or possession, or any sort of subtle corruption. Would such things leave a detectable trace?

If they did, he didn’t see or sense any.

Kara looked at their son.

Nexus made and unmade fists, but there was no threat behind the gesture. With his knees slightly bent, he looked like he wanted to dart in and force his way between them again, but something rooted him in indecision. He radiated fear and confusion. “Do you still love me?”

Kara popped a sweet, sympathetic smile that made Baku’s heart ache. She slipped an arm around his waist and pulled him along as she crossed to their son. His wife’s touch sent his heart aflutter, but at the same time his heart wanted to pound in panic as they drew closer to their son. They’d done nothing but fight and argue for too long. He and Nexus hadn’t stood this close without throwing punches in millennia. Nexus eyed him warily and locked his hands in fists as he struggled to stop himself from shying away. Baku didn’t blame him. It was taking all his control not to lock up his legs and hold his wife back.