Determinism (Cara & Abel's Story) (22 page)

“Hey, it’s Troy. Sorry I didn’t get a chance to call you last night.”

“It’s cool. Did you talk to the other guys about going to help the other station?”

“Yeah, Matt is going to come with us. We were wondering when you wanted us to be there?”

“We need to be there tomorrow. If that’s alright with you guys, let’s say eight o’clock?”

Warm, tiny hands wrap around my stomach from behind and I know that she just heard me. I wanted to sit down and tell her that I was leaving, because I could be working for at least a week straight. It’s too late now. I turn and kiss her on the nose. A frown is spread across her face as she looks up at me and I know why.

“That’s good with me.”

“Cool, I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

Hanging up the phone, I take a breath and try to read her expression. She looks better. She’s wearing a tank top and some of my sweats. Her hair is messy and in a bun on top of her head, a few small pieces are framing her face and I can’t stop myself from moving them out of the way.

“You look like you’re feeling better,” I say.

“I am, thank you. I guess all I needed to do was get that crap out of my stomach and a good night’s sleep. Who was on the phone?”

“It was Troy. I got a call from Tom, my Battalion Chief, yesterday when you were sleeping. We lost a group of guys at a local station. He asked me to assemble a team to go help out.”

“Oh,” she says with a worried expression on her face. “How long will you be gone?”

“I don’t know, probably a week. I need to call Tom. I know he will have some new details on the situation.”

“Okay.”

“Do you feel like eating anything or having some coffee?”

“No, thanks, I’m going to keep things light today. You make your call and I’m going to hop in the shower.”

I nod my head and kiss her behind her ear. She walks off pushing the loose hair behind her ear again. I call Tom as the coffee stops brewing and I pour myself a cup. Hammering out the details with him is easy. The short and skinny of the situation is that he doesn’t know how long we’ll be gone for. He’s hoping no longer than a week, like I thought, and I couldn’t agree more. I take my coffee upstairs and hear the shower’s still on. I quickly undress and walk in the bathroom. Cara’s silhouette catches my eye as she rinses her hair. She is the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. Her perky boobs are pushed out and her back is arched, accentuating her ass.

I pull the door open and she looks over at me, moving out of the way to allow me to step in. The water is perfect just like we both like. She hands me the bar of soap and I start to wash myself with it. As much as I want to do more, I don’t want to push her. My mind easily drifts as I stare at her body. I want to wrap my mouth around each of her nipples and then slide my hand in between her legs.

She looks me in the eyes and moves her arms around my neck. As we stand staring at one another, our chests touch and move as we breathe. My dick is getting hard and growing between us. “Sorry about that,” I say.

“That’s not something you should be sorry for,” she says kissing my neck and then starts to suck in the way only she can. I close my eyes and can’t help my hand from grabbing her nipples. The hardened peaks make me ready for her. Sucking on my neck, she moves her hand and clenches my dick, tugging and rubbing him on her clit.

I can’t stop myself anymore and say, “Guide him inside of you, so I can slowly fuck you.”

She listens to my command, like she always does. The pleasure spreads throughout my body as I slip inside of her. Once I’m buried deep, I wrap my arms around her tightly, probably more so than I should have. But I can’t control myself with her – she’s my greatest indulgence. Slowly I pull out and the slickness of her pussy mixed with the water causes a ripple effect. As I move again, the same ripple happens, causing us both to moan. I continue my movements, in and out, over and over, taking my time with each thrust. Our noises become a pitch higher, and we both hang on to our releases by a thread. The orgasms that are pulsing through our bodies are too much to handle. My balls tighten and I know there is no going back. I keep my movements steady and let go.

Fuck, her pussy is tight.

I pump myself inside of her using slow, long strokes. Her body trembles under my hold as she cries with pleasure. Her eyes are closed and she has her bottom lip tucked tightly in between her teeth. A few moments pass while I stare at her. She’s a frozen statue of perfection being held in my arms, tiny trembles moving through her from what we just did.

In that moment, I want to tell her that I love her. But I don’t, I puss out, and instead pull my dick out of her and turn off the water. Stepping out, I hand her a towel and then grab one for me.

“So you are feeling better?” I ask.

“After that, how could I not be?”

“I’m being serious, babe.”

She dries herself off and says, “Yeah, I feel good. Did you talk to Tom?”

“Yeah, he said we need to be at the station tomorrow and we should plan on at least a week.”

She nods her head and walks into her closet. “Okay. Will I get to see you at all while you cover there?”

“I’m not sure, but you know I’ll be thinking about nothing but you. And I’ll text you like a first class stalker.”

“You better only be thinking of me,” she teases and throws her towel out to me.

“You know it, kitten. Do you mind if I run home and pack some stuff for the week and feed Puss? Then we can spend our last night together.”

“Sure, that would be great. I need to do my laundry and run to the bank.”

“Cool. Would you mind feeding Puss while I’m gone?”

“Of course I will,” she says.

I get dressed and walk into the bathroom. Cara is fighting with her hair and I just have to laugh at her.

“What are you laughing at?” she scolds.

“You and your hair?”

“You better wipe that smirk off of your face or I’ll beat you with my hairbrush.”

I put my hands up to signal defeat. She points her brush at me and I kiss her cheek. “I’ll be back soon, baby.”

As I walk out of her condo, I lock the front door behind me. Deciding to call my dad while I drive home, I dial and he answers right away.

“Hey, Dad.”

“Son, is everything okay?”

I chuckle, knowing I’ve earned the question. “Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”

“Just checking. I never hear from you anymore. How’s my oldest son?”

“I’m good. Listen, I need your advice. I want to tell Cara that … well, that I think I love her and I don’t know how to say it.”

“I can tell you
not
to start the conversation out with, ‘I think I love you.’”

“You know what I mean. I’ve wanted to tell her for a while, but I don’t know how or what the right words are.”

“I get that those situations are hard, but I honestly think going into them with an open mind and no agenda is best. You’re overthinking all of this. When it feels right, speak from your heart. Let every word come as it does. That’s what I did with your mom.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I looked at her one day and couldn’t stop the words. They just came out. That’s what happened with your brother too. Don’t think so much about it, Son. The time will come and you’ll know when it’s right.”

“I never thought about it like that. Thank you.”

“Of course. Speaking of, how is Cara?”

“She’s okay. She had the flu, but is finally feeling better today. I think she got it from the hospital.”

“She’s not pregnant is she?”

“Oh, hell no. She’s better today. Why would you even ask? It was just a twenty-four hour bug.”

“Just thought I’d ask. Send my love to her and tell her that I’m happy she’s feeling better.”

“Will do, Dad. Thanks.”

After we hang up, I think back to his comment. Could she be pregnant? God, please no, I’m not meant to be a dad. I’ve been down that road once and vowed to
never
do it again.

My bags are packed and I have one errand left. After that I can’t wait to spend one last night with Cara. The drive across town takes about thirty minutes, but Vincent promised me this was the best jeweler for what I need in the quickest turnaround time. As I pull in and park, there aren’t any other cars. I walk into the small, standalone building in the center of the strip mall parking lot. I don’t see anyone working and start to look through the cases.

“Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in.”

I look up to see a short, elderly man who has a thick pair of glasses on. “It’s okay, I was just looking around.”

“What brings you in?” he asks.

“I was hoping you have infinity bracelets”

“Oh yes, I do. They’re on this side.” He walks to the other counter and I follow him across the store. Vince was right — tucked in the case is a huge selection. I’d heard about these and never knew exactly what they were ‘til I talked to Alexa. I scan over the selection of bracelets with the well-known figure eight design, searching for the one and then I spot it.

It’s gold, like Cara loves, with a double infinity symbol, both of which are diamond encrusted. It leads into a thick gold band — exactly what I want. “Can I see that one?”

“This is by far one of my favorites,” he says as he hands it to me. Holding it in the palm of my hand, the metal is heavier than I expected. Looking it over, it’s perfect.

“I’ll take it. I heard you also do engraving?”

“Absolutely.”

“Can you do it for me now? I can pay extra for the rush.”

He looks at the clock, and then hands me a pad of paper and a pen. “I would be happy to. Just jot down what you had in mind and I’ll do it while you wait. Maybe fifteen minutes.”

“Great, thank you so much.”

While I write what I want the engraving to say, he says, “I take it this is for someone special, considering you haven’t asked me the price.”

I hand him the note and say, “Yeah, she is special. When it comes to her, money doesn’t matter. She has changed my perspective on life, so little things like this are the least I can do.”

“That doesn’t happen often these days. I’ll have it right out for you.”

“Thank you. Do you think all of the words will fit?” I ask.

He looks over the note. “Yes, sir, I believe they will. Let me key it in the computer to be sure.”

While I wait and check my phone, I have a text from Alexa.
Everything good there?

Yup, I found the perfect one. Cara’s going to love it.

The words fit and the bracelet looks amazing. I can’t wait to give her something
real
as a symbol of my love. Today I’ll finally be able to speak the words I’ve been scared of saying for far too long. The drive across town is quick and I’m anxious as I pull into her driveway. Before I head inside, I take a deep breath and clutch the box containing her bracelet in the palm of my hand. I know I can do this and she is going to say the words in return. I just know it. But Cara is nowhere to be seen. “Baby?” I yell.

“I’m up here.”

Excitedly I jog up the stairs. She’s not in her room so I go into the bathroom. She is sitting on the corner of the tub. Her head’s hung low and she doesn’t make eye contact with me.

“Hey, are you feeling sick again?”

She shrugs her shoulders and I notice the box sitting next to her.

Please don’t let that be what I think it is.

“You’ve got to talk to me, Cara. What’s going on?”

She hands me the test that she’s holding and looks at me with guilt-filled eyes. Her cheeks are flushed and tear-stained. I take it from her and clearly printed across the digital screen reads
pregnant.
The box I’m holding slips from my grip and wallops on the tile floor. Looking down at it, I’m frozen. My body goes numb and it feels like all of the blood is rushing out of me. Suddenly it looks miles away, as my vision narrows and my heart starts pounding in my ears. My eyes move back to the test in my hand and I can see out of the corner of my eye that she is staring at me.

Fuck, NO! This is not possible. Why is this happening to me again?

“Say something,” she begs.

I just shake my head, trying to calm the adrenaline spiking through every nerve ending. Finally I blurt out, “How did this happen?”

“I don’t know. We’ve never used protection.”

“But you told me you were on the pill.”

“I am on the pill, but it’s not 100% effective.”

“Damn it, Cara, you knew I didn’t want kids.” There is anger in my tone but I can’t help it. One of my worst fears is coming true. Again.

Tears stream down her cheeks like waves of the ocean and she places her face in her hands. “I know,” she whispers.

I can’t control the anger inside of me as I chuck the test at the mirror. It bounces off the glass and pings across the room. Cara flinches but doesn’t look up at me, and I turn and walk away. As much as I love Cara it scares me how good it feels to get away from her.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck
. I slam the front door and get in my truck not thinking twice as I start it and drive away. I’m not sure where I’m heading, but I need to be alone.

Why didn’t I see this coming sooner or catch the warning signs? Maybe if I wasn’t so blindsided I could handle things better. Even when my dad mentioned it I didn’t think for a second that it could be true. I decide to go home and stop at the liquor store on the way. I grab one thing — a bottle of Patrón. I know that I’m going to need this to get through the night, then hopefully work can consume me for a while as I figure out what to do.