Devilcountry (33 page)

Claudia was a year older but five years more
experienced.  By the time they had finished highschool she had seduced
three teachers and gotten one fired.  It was impressive.  She’d get
Donnie to ditch class with her.  Taught him how to forge signatures, smoke
cloves, and water down booze.  She became a hero to him more than a
love-interest.  Claudia never really had any conception of that.  She
was always trying to impress Donnie.  She loved Donnie but it was a
strange feeling for her.  She didn’t quite understand it.
 Eventually, Donnie had swallowed all sexual attraction for her, which
gave him a lump he never could quite swallow.  A year ago, Donnie had
married Tess.  A sweet girl he’d met at community college and had been living
with for five years.  It was time.  He was in love.  He
cherished his wife.  Loved being in love.  She made his heart thump
and his wings spread too.  
Differently than Claudia.
 Claudia was the prototype, never allowed into full production.  Tess
was the floor model.  Claudia couldn’t be tamed and he’d seen how much
pain she had caused in herself.  He’d put Claudia back together several
times after things hadn’t worked out for her. He was always there for her.
 But as Tess and he got more serious he wanted no part of Claudia’s drama.
To the naked eye, Claudia was dangerous but Donnie knew better.  Claudia
was just lost. A broken home when they were kids had created a chasm for her.
 Claudia spent a lot of time at Donnie’s house.  Becoming a surrogate
member of the family.  Claudia even managed to reach
Darla
which
was no easy task.  Donnie wanted to help.

“So what’s up?
the
“up”
said with a click of the tongue, perfectly delivered.  Donnie was hesitant,
for the first time ever he searched around for Pudgie.

“Uh, PUDGIE?”  Pudgie couldn’t believe it.
 He responded like a
lap-dog
dropping his paper
and running over.

“
yep
?”

“Can we get Claudia a slice and a salad?”

“You got it.  Hey, Claudia.”

“Hey, you.”

“I heard you’re up for the new Wonder Woman
pilot.”

“They want me to play her secretary. The script
blows.  I’ll take a Diet Coke too.”

“Be right back.” Pudgie turned away.
I will
have her!
He thought.

Claudia leaned into Donnie. “He wants me.”
Another
touch-touch
as she said it.  
Her eyes
wide and unblinking.

“Who doesn’t, Claudia?” Donnie offered.
 Claudia smiled.  They began to discuss, first one hand pulled away
then another, then another and another and before you know it both of them had
hands around sodas, coffees, or salt shakers.  
Anything
to keep the distance.
 

“Claudia, I want you to do me a favor.
 This is strictly a favor.”

“Talk to me.” she said
motherly-like
.

“I want you to hang out with my dad.”  She
had a puzzled look sandwiched in between two interpretations.

“Uh...okay.”

“No
..
.
geez
, I didn’t mean....”

“Well, what did you mean?”

“Well, you know how he’s been since my mom...”

“Is he all right?  Don’t make me worry.”

“It ain’t like that.”

“Well, what is it like?”

“I just wanted you guys to spend some quality
time together.  I can be in the room, geez, Claudia.”

“Kinky.”

“That’s not what I meant.  You’ve got
magic.  He needs it.  Medicine, you know?  He’s just, hurtin’.
 It’s Pop.  He loves you.  He loves makin’ you laugh.
 Remember when you used to come over to the house?”  Claudia looked
down at her hands.  A slight smile crept across her face.  

“Remember gay Dracula?” Claudia asked.

“Let him do his gay Dracula on you, please?”
 Donnie had both hands up over his head as he spoke.  Claudia
laughed.

“Sure I could come over for dinner or something?”

“Well, that sounds good but I was thinking of
something a little more, uh, portable.”

“What?”

“A little more one on one.”

“Oh, so now I’m a whore!”

“I DO NOT THINK YOU ARE A WHORE!”  People
at the bar turned around.  Pudgie looked up from his
New York Post.

“
I WILL HAVE HER!
” whispered Pudgie under
his
breath
.

“You’re high if you think I’m gonna...”

“None of the kind. Claudia, don’t be silly.
 Just hangin’ out.  You’ve hung out with him before.”

“When we were kids, maybe.”  Claudia wasn’t
as offended as she let on.  She loved Donnie’s daddy.  She seduced
teachers because she knew she could.  But not
Pop
,
she loved him.  She brought a hand to her chin.  “Okay, Donnie, I see
what you’re after.  
A little bit of Claudia therapy to
get him going.
 I feel you.  But you gotta do something for
me.”  Donnie looked at Claudia blank-faced.  

Claudia wanted to screw Donnie, hard.  None
of her attraction had dissipated for him since Ben Gold had vomited everywhere
in front of them. Even with the introduction and marriage of Tess.  She
didn’t care.  She wanted Donnie.  It was a point of pride.  The
first time she wanted to do him was when she saw him coming into the building
where their Honors English was.  He was so adorable she wanted to pop his
cherry to George Michael’s
Careless Whisper
the first chance she got.
 She’d worked it all out in her head.  It didn’t happen.  She
remembered one time she and him on Ben Gold’s couch both of them pretending to
take a nap.  She was behind him.  
Her head resting
on his back.
 She could hear his heart thumping.  She wanted
desperately to turn him around and kiss him. Actually, what she really wanted
was for him to turn around and make the move on her.  She was aggressive
with her men, but not with Donnie.  She loved Donnie but she knew if she
came onto him he would soon be thrown out of her world.  She didn’t want
him to exit, ever.  So, they sat there.  Spooning on the couch.
 
Until Ben Gold ran in and puked everywhere.
 

Then, later, in High school he had been invited
to the senior prom as a junior.  She saw him show up at the prom with
Laura Adamson. Her heart sank because she wished she’d gone with him instead of
her idiot boyfriend who was a varsity volleyball player from a different
school.  Donnie looked great.  She’d never seen him all cleaned-up.
 She felt a strange blending of pride and jealousy of Laura Adamson.
 But Claudia exercised restraint.  She walked over to him during
Duran Duran’s
Rio
as being interpreted by Planet Earth - A Duran Duran experience.
 A
four piece
cover-band who were up and comers
in the tribute band movement.  She hugged Donnie and diplomatically hugged
Laura. “You look great, Donnie. Really great.”  

“Thanks, Claudia.  You too.”  Donnie
stared up and down at Claudia.  Claudia did the same.  It was as if
they were seeing each other for the first time, both of them fully-grown and
flying around, stunned by each other’s plumage and grace. Donnie retreated as
Laura grabbed his hand to go dance.  Claudia stared off as he exited and
for the first time felt a pang in her heart that she wasn’t quite sure of.
  He was her project.  Proud, excited, aroused.  Two years
later Donnie would meet Tess in a Political Science class and Claudia would be
in Superbowl ads.  It never lined up.  Now Claudia was ready to collect.

“You know what I want, Donnie.”

“What do you want?”

“I was supposed to be your first.”

“What?”

“You were my project.  MINE!  Then
that slut Laura Adamson swooped on in and grabbed you up.”

“You were dating half the volleyball teams in
the city!”

“This is unfinished business.”

“I’m married.”

“Tess will understand.”

“No she won’t.  This is not gonna happen.”

“Yep, you’re right it ain’t gonna happen.”

“Claudia, I am in love with my wife.”

“Not my fault.”  A quiet pause erupted over
the table.  Both parties looked down.  

Donnie
looked at his watch.

“It wasn’t fair, Donnie.” Donnie was blank.
 He couldn’t believe she was saying this.  

“Well
this presents a bit of a problem.”  
he
said.

“Why?”

“Pop’s on his way down.  I told him you
were coming, he’s actually late.”

“You son of a bitch.”

“What do you want from me?  I learned this
from you.”

“What?”

“Twelfth grade.  You wanted to go out with
Dean Rice but he had to babysit his sister. So you had me show up and I had to
take her to Castle Golf.”

“I told you it was a double date!”

“She wore a helmet!”

“It was in case of seizures.”

“She was also rather generous with the N word.”

“She had tourrettes.”

“Remember what you said to me, Claudia?”

“About what?”

“About that.”

“No.” She was playing dumb.  She knew exactly
what he was talking about.

“When in doubt take away the element of choice.”

“I never said that.”

“You backed me into it and before I knew it I
was baby-sitting a rascist retard.”

“So your Pop is a helmet kid?”

“Don’t turn this around.”

“I want a piece of you D.”  Her eyes
appeared moist.  Her voice cracked as the words barely got out of her.
 She loved Donnie. He had learned all she had taught.
A
pause at the table.
 Finally Donnie interrupted.

“You know what?  Maybe you’re right.
 Maybe this was a bad idea.  My dad is too

fragile
.  Maybe you’d
better not hang out for too long.”

“Oh, so now I’m poison?”

“I’m just sayin’ you can’t eat my dad the way
you...
”  
There was another silence at the table.
 Claudia had a defeated look.  
Then a smile.
 
A touch of the hand.

“I taught you well didn’t I, D?”

“Yes, Claudia, you did.”

“I’ve done my work well.”

“Yes you have, Claudia.”

“Maybe it’d be good to see Pop.”  She
dabbed her eye with her index finger.  She sniffed a bit.

“Get a little pop time in.
”
added Donnie.  Claudia smiled.  

“This ain’t over between me and you D.”

“I know, Claudia.”

Pop’s giant Lincoln Town Car pulled in.
 They could hear it from a block away.  
V-8, mean.
Old school.  The Tony Bennett was cut off mid-way through “San
Francis-...” He entered.

“Hey, Dad, over here.  Pudgie, hook him
up.”

“Got it.” said Pudgie.  Pop looked a bit
dazed.  
Tired around the eyes but awake, dressed to kill
as always.
 
Salt and pepper hair that was
perfect.
 
Perfect Hugo Boss shirt.
 Nice jeans, Bruno Magli’s.  He looked great.  His face lit up
as he saw Claudia.

“Hey, Pop!” Claudia offered as she stood up and
hugged him.  

“Claudia!  So good to see you.”  You
look great!”

“Claudia’s up for a pilot.”

“A pilot?  Well look at you over here.
 Do you know
who
it’s for?  I can make a
call.”

“Paramount.  I don’t know if I got it or
nuthin’ we’ll see.  You look good.”

“I’m trying, babe.”  Pop had a tired look
to him.  It seemed to wake him up a bit to be near Claudia.  First he
spoke in just words.  “Yes.” “No.”  
“Yeah” and
“Sure”.
 But that led to sentences and then full paragraphs.
 He had Claudia on the floor laughing.  Then he whipped out the gay
Dracula bit and she was done.  

“Bleah, boo scary Dracula need the Liberace
record, now!”  Claudia was on the floor.  Her focus turned to Pop.
 Donnie started to feel excluded.  He took it as a cue.  They
had done twenty minutes all together, the three of them, talking.  
A smooth twenty.
 It ticked by, one huge click of the
clock.  Donnie realized he was having too much fun.  He felt the next
beat come around and when the talk subsided just for a moment he made his move.

“I gotta run guys.  I just realized Tess
needs me to shop.”

“Whaddaya doin’?” said Pop.  His tone
elevated a bit nervously.  

“Tess needs me to cover dinner.  She’ll
kill me if there’s no food.”

“Just get McDonald’s or something,” said
Claudia.

“Tess is vegan.”

Claudia made a whip gesture with her arm and
hand.
  
She added the sound
effect as well in order to both visually and audibly convey to Donnie’s dad
that Donnie was whipped. “SHWPPPPPPTTT!!!” whispered Claudia to Pop.  Pop
broke up. Claudia continued.  “Seriously, Donnie, that girl needs a nice
piece of meat in her.”  Pop was on the floor.  Claudia looked over at
Donnie with a bit of satisfaction.