Authors: Suzannah Daniels
“I
don’t want to end up like my parents. I don’t want to bring a child into this
world when I’m not ready for it.”
He
gently kissed my lips. “There are ways to prevent a pregnancy.”
“I’m
not ready, Stone.”
He
put some distance between us. “All right. Then let’s talk about something
else because right now, all I can think about is getting you out of those
jeans.” He sat up and slid his feet to the floor, his back facing me.
“Are
you mad?” Not that it mattered, but if he was, I wanted to know.
“No,
I’m not mad. I just need to change the direction of my blood flow, if you know
what I mean.”
I
laughed. “I made an ‘A’ in human anatomy. I know what you mean.”
I
changed the subject. “The prom is less than two weeks away, and I still
haven’t found a dress. Do you want to go shopping with me Saturday?”
“I
thought I wasn’t supposed to see it ahead of time,” he called over his
shoulder.
“It’s
a prom dress, not a wedding dress.”
“Oh.”
“I
want you to go with me and help me find the perfect dress. I want our prom
night to be special, one that we’ll always remember.”
He
lay back on the bed, his hands tucked beneath his head, but his eyes met mine.
“It won’t matter what dress you buy. It won’t be the dress making you look
beautiful. It’ll be you making the dress look beautiful.”
I
lowered my lashes, touched by his words. “I still want you to go.”
“I
can’t go. I’ve got to run some errands for my parents, and I have to work at
the bookstore after school for the rest of the week. I promise that I’ll love
any dress you buy.”
“Are
you going to run errands all day? We could go when you get finished.”
“I’ll
be tied up all day. Sorry, babe. Why don’t you see if Crimson or Scarlet can
go with you?”
I
was disappointed, but I tried not to show it. “Okay.”
“Now,
tell me about the book club,” he said.
“I
thought it might be an interesting thing to add for your customers that are
avid readers. We could simply call it Luke’s Book Club as a tribute to him. I
know you don’t know which book was his favorite, but I thought we could kick
the club off with one of his books as the first month’s selection. Every
month, you could have a sale on whichever book is the club’s pick for that
month.”
“Luke
would love that. When we get finished eating, we can go to my house and check
out his bedroom if you want to and see what we can find.”
In
all the months that Stone and I had dated, I had never been in Luke’s bedroom.
I had never asked to see it, and he had never offered to show it to me. It
seemed very personal, and I was a bit shocked that he was offering me
admittance now. I was surprised to realize how much I wanted to see it.
“Your
mom won’t care?”
“No.
Mom will think you’re an angel for suggesting this idea. She won’t care if you
go in there, but she does like everything to be kept in the same place he left
it.”
“I’ve
already added a section into the next newsletter, just in case you agreed to
it,” I said, turning over on my stomach, so that I could look at his face.
“Then
it sounds like we just need to pick out a book.”
“Good.
We can have that done by the end of the day.”
***
I
thought supper would never end. Between another embarrassing conversation
about protection and my eagerness to get a glimpse of what Luke was like, I
wanted to grab a chicken leg and eat it on the run. To make matters worse,
Stone seemed in no hurry at all, taking Granny’s comments in stride as he
assured her he always carried protection and savoring every bit of his meal. He
also engaged Mr. Milton in a detailed conversation about the health benefits of
tomatoes and praised Granny over every forkful of coconut cake.
When
we finally pulled into his driveway, I refrained from running to the front
door.
I
followed Stone through the silent house as he went to his bedroom to put up his
backpack. “Are your parents gone?” I asked, a little nervous about whether his
mother would want me in Luke’s room.
“Yeah.
They’re at a charity auction,” Stone said as he put his backpack in his desk
chair. “They probably won’t be home until late tonight.”
“Are
you sure your mother won’t mind if I go in Luke’s room?”
“If
she minded, I wouldn’t be taking you in there. Okay, yes, I would, but I
promise you that she won’t care.” He grabbed my hand and gave me a quick kiss
on the temple. “You worry too much.”
I
supposed he was right, but poking around in Luke’s room seemed like a very
private matter.
“Come
on,” Stone urged, as he tugged on my hand. “Let’s go to his room before you
get your nerves in a knot.”
I
knew where Luke’s room was, on the other end of the hall from Stone’s, but I
had never seen his door open or seen anyone going in or coming out. Stone
placed his hand on the doorknob and paused. I could sense that he was
conflicted about entering, and I placed my hand on his arm. “If you don’t
want….”
“No,”
he interrupted. “It’s fine.”
He
turned the knob and pushed the door open, his feet rooted to the spot as he
acclimated himself to the scene. Finally, he flipped on the lights, took my
hand, and led me in the room.
The
dark wood furniture gleamed, making it obvious that someone had polished it
recently. The bed was neatly made. The navy comforter boasted two, wide lines
in brilliant white that reminded me of racing stripes. Matching curtains
flanked two windows, which allowed the evening sunshine to flow through the
panes of glass.
A
pair of wire-rimmed glasses rested upside down on the desktop, their arms
outstretched as if he had just removed them. I ran my fingertips along the length
of one arm, and my attention shifted to two framed photographs sitting directly
behind them. I picked up one photo, smiling at the three boys who grinned at
me with their arms snaked around each other’s necks.
“That’s
me in the middle,” Stone said quietly. He then pointed out Luke and Dylan.
Stone couldn’t have been more than nine or ten. Seeing all the brothers
together caused a shot of melancholy to rush through my body. Knowing that
they’d never be together like this again made me realize the pain that Stone
and his family must go through each and every day. Knowing that my father was
the reason for their pain tormented me, creating another level of agony in my
soul as I watched a myriad of emotions cross Stone’s face. His jaw clenched,
and he turned his attention away from the photo and pretended to examine the
scenery outside the window.
I
carefully returned the photo to its proper spot and picked up the photo beside
it. Even though he was a teenager in the photo, I immediately recognized Luke,
who looked a lot like Stone. It was the girl beside him who caught my
attention. Her blond, waist-length hair looked like it had been kissed by a
sunset with its streaks of strawberry. Her smile made her whole face sparkle,
a happiness that reached the dark blue depths of her eyes. Her flawless
complexion and high cheekbones added to her beauty.
“Is
this Tiffany?” I asked, watching as Stone’s line of vision dropped to the
picture in my hand.
“Yes.”
He quickly diverted his attention away from the photo.
“She’s
beautiful,” I said. “No wonder you were infatuated with her.”
“I
was an ass.”
“You
were a teenager smitten by a pretty girl,” I countered. “You didn’t cause the
accident. Don’t take any responsibility, no matter how minute, for something
that was completely my father’s fault.”
I
returned the photo and went to Stone, wrapping my arms around his waist from
behind him. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “I wish I could make it all go
away.”
He
faced me, remaining silent and pulling me into his arms. He rested his cheek
on the top of my head and hugged me tightly to his chest, wrapping me in his
embrace. “Luke would’ve liked you,” he whispered against my temple.
“I
wish I could’ve met him.”
“So
do I.” He smoothed my hair away from my face. “The two of you would’ve had a
lot in common. He was quiet and contemplative, much like you, and the world
was a better place because he was in it. My world was a better place because
he was in it. Both of you have a positive effect on people.”
He
hugged me tightly a moment more, and then he released me. “Let’s look at his
books.”
Stone
walked to the tall bookshelf in the corner of the room. Rows of books were
neatly arranged on the shelves.
“Can
we touch them?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
He
had a lot of classics, like Last of the Mohicans by James Fenimore Cooper, The
Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas, and Dracula by Bram Stoker. There
were also many contemporary novels, but to kick off the book club, it seemed
appropriate to start with a classic. I assumed that there were probably a lot
of people like me, people who wanted to read them, but just never seemed to do
it. Some of the classics might even be on Quail Mountain High’s summer reading
list.
I
carefully eyed each and every book, noting their colors and textures. Finally,
I placed my finger on a copy of
Frankenstein
by Mary Shelley. I
carefully pulled the book from its resting spot.
“
Frankenstein
,”
Stone read.
“What
do you think about starting the club with it?” I asked.
“Pick
whatever you want. I’m leaving it up to you. Just as long as I don’t have to
read it.”
I
scoffed. “How can you not read the first book in Luke’s Book Club?”
“Trust
me, Luke would forgive me for that one. He knew how much I hated to read.
I’ll watch the movie.”
“You’ll
do no such thing, at least not until after you’ve read the book.”
Stone
took the book from me and flipped through the pages. “I tell you what. I’ll
let you read it to me. How’s that?”
“It
won’t be the same as if you’d read it yourself.”
“You’re
right,” he admitted, handing me the book. “It’ll be much, much better. I can
watch your sexy, pink lips while you read the words in your silky, feminine
voice. Now that,” he said, pointing at me, “would never be boring. You could
read me a sewing machine manual for all I care, as long as I get to watch those
lips in action.”
“If
you want to watch these lips in action, then you’d better read the book,” I
warned playfully.
“We’ll
see,” he said, turning to the bookshelf. “So is that the book you want, or do
you want to keep looking?”
“Let’s
start with this one,” I said, fingering the embossed, gilt lettering on the
burgundy cover.
“
Frankenstein
it is.”
I
followed him to the door and turned to glance around the room one more time
before I exited into the hallway. I hugged the book to my chest, honored that
I’d gotten to peek into Luke’s existence. The book was a tangible symbol of
him, and I felt that by allowing me into Luke’s room, Stone had also allowed me
a little deeper into his heart, that he had offered me a tiny sliver of his
soul that had remain untouched.
As
we settled on Stone’s bed to read, I thought perhaps I was closer to him right
now at this moment than I had ever been.
I
flipped open the cover and turned to the first page, thinking that Luke had touched
these very pages, read these very words, and filled with emotion, I began to
read
Frankenstein
by Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley.
“Letter
1. To Mrs. Saville, England, St. Petersburgh, Dec. 11
th
, 17--.
“You
will rejoice to hear that no disaster has accompanied the commencement of an
enterprise which you have regarded with such evil forebodings.”
Stone
Shit.
The alarm on my phone alerted me to the fact that it was seven o’clock on
Saturday morning. I struggled to shut it the hell up before I had the urge to
sling the annoying device across the room. As exhausting as the previous week
had been, I still had a huge to-do list looming over me. Prom was next
weekend. Final exams were the week after that, and I desperately needed to
study if I wanted to walk across the stage at the graduation ceremony, which
was less than a month away. And on top of that, I had vowed to myself that I
would find Dara’s mother in time to ensure that she would be in the audience
watching Dara get her diploma.
I
rolled my sleep-deprived body out of bed and stumbled to the shower. Relieved
that the hot water seemed to improve my mood, I quickly toweled off and
dressed. Sitting at the desk in my room, I flipped open my laptop and pulled a
folded piece of paper out of the middle drawer. Over the last few days, I had written
everything down that I knew about Dara’s mother, and I had gleaned additional
information from Dara as discreetly as possible. I wasn’t ready to tell her
that I was going to try and find her mom, mostly because I didn’t want Dara to
be disappointed if I failed or if her mother had decided that she didn’t want
to be in Dara’s life.
As
I unfolded the paper, every detail that I had written about Yvonne Golding over
the last few days came into view. Dara didn’t know her mother’s address, but
she knew she lived in a small town in East Tennessee by the name of Oakley, and
she knew she worked at the front desk of a hotel.
I
couldn’t retrieve any information on Yvonne Golding in Oakley, Tennessee, so I searched
the Internet for hotels in Oakley and printed out a list of eleven hotels with
addresses and phone numbers.
Since
Ms. Golding’s number had been disconnected, the only thing I could do at this
point was to start calling the hotels to see if I could figure out where she
was employed.
I
dialed the number to the first one on the list and was promptly told that they
did not have an employee by that name. Five hotels later, I still didn’t have
a hit.
By
the time I had crossed ten of them off my list, tension began building in my
neck as I stared at the last phone number. Either I was about to locate her
employer or I was about to be shit out of luck. I knew very little about
Dara’s mother. She could’ve changed jobs multiple times since she last worked
at the hotel, or she could’ve just upped and quit. She could’ve moved. She
could be shacking up with a boyfriend. The endless possibilities made finding
her a daunting task.
I
wiped my palms on my jeans as I began dialing the last number. Like the other
hotels, someone answered quickly.
“Do
you have an employee by the name of Yvonne Golding?”
“Uh…I’m
new. Hold on, and I’ll check.”
My
heart was thudding in my ears louder and louder as each second ticked by.
After what seemed like an eternity, the girl on the other end of the line
finally picked back up. “Sorry. There’s no one here by that name.”
“Okay.
Thanks for checking.” I hung up, aggravated. Trying to determine my next move,
I ran my hands through my hair and exhaled loudly.
I
didn’t have much to go on. I searched for hotels again, but I didn’t come up
with any new information. I mapped out the distance between Quail Mountain and
Oakley, a four-hour drive. I groaned as I realized that would be an eight-hour
round trip, not including the time I would need to poke around the town.
I
thought about all the things that I needed to do today, and the time it would
take to hunt her mother would force me to push most of my list to the
backburner. An involuntary grin erupted across my face as I thought about me
having a list, even if it was only mental. A year ago, I wouldn’t have
bothered. I would’ve done whatever random act occurred to me at the moment,
and it would’ve been tough shit for anyone else who needed something from me.
A
lot had changed since I met Dara, and guilt slithered into my brain when I
thought about how I blew her off when she wanted me to help her find a prom
dress, even if it was because I wanted to find her mother.
Damn
it. Thinking that I should call her, I stared at my phone lying on the desk.
If I was going to locate her mother before graduation, I needed to allow myself
as much time as possible to deal with any unforeseen circumstances or a lack of
success. But at the same time, it was our senior prom, and I knew it meant a
lot to Dara.
Well,
hell. I’d just experienced that awkward moment when I realized that I had
definitely been whipped by a tiny female with a soft voice and a good heart.
She was more than I deserved, and I picked up my phone and dialed her number.
“Hello,”
she answered.
“Hey,
beautiful.”
“Good
morning. You got a busy day scheduled?”
“Actually,
I do,” I answered. “It seems you’ve had a stroke of good luck. My errands
have been postponed, and I’m now available for the day.”
“Lucky
me,” she said, her voice laced with sarcasm.
I
ignored her jab. “Were you going shopping with Crimson and Scarlet?”
“No.
They’re busy at the salon today. I was gonna go by myself.”
I
was glad I’d had a change of heart, for her sake. “Why don’t I pick you up at
noon? I’ll drive Mom’s or Dad’s car, unless you want to carry your new prom
dress on the back of a motorcycle.”
She
laughed, and even though scouring the area for a prom dress was definitely not
my first choice of things to do, I was looking forward to spending time with
her.
“Assuming
I get lucky enough to find a prom dress I like that doesn’t need alterations, I
don’t think I want to chance it on the back of a motorcycle.”
“It’s
settled then. I’ll see you at noon.”
“See
you then. Bye.”
“Bye.”
I hung up, glad that I had decided to go and wondering how the hell I was going
to get things with her mother worked out. I could drive to Oakley tomorrow,
which meant I needed to come up with a game plan tonight.
I
sighed, yanking my backpack up from the floor. If I wanted to make the best
use of my time, then I needed to get some studying done, so that I wouldn’t
have to repeat another year of high school and so my dad could get the hell off
my back. That man was relentless when it came to school.
I
pulled out my chemistry book and flipped it open to the periodic table,
memorizing as much of the information as possible. Boredom quickly set in, and
shopping for prom dresses began looking a lot more fun, at least that would include
Dara in some sexy outfits.
I
was pretty damn proud of myself when I finally quit studying. I checked the
time on my cell phone and was surprised to find it was nearing eleven o’clock.
I’d just set a freaking record on the amount of studying I’d accomplished in
one sitting, ever. I leaned back and stretched my arms, allowing myself to
savor the victory because it was a record that I had no intention of breaking.
I
put on my socks and shoes and went to find Dad.
I
opened the door to the fitness room in our basement and saw Dad curling a
dumbbell. “Hey, Dad.”
He
looked up. “Stone.”
“I
was wondering if I could borrow your car.”
“It’s
not raining. What’s wrong with your motorcycle?”
“I’m
taking Dara to shop for a prom dress.”
He
moved the dumbbell to his other hand and began curling again. “How’s school
going?”
“I
just spent about three hours studying for my chemistry exam.”
His
eyes opened a little wider, and I knew that sentence would be at the top of his
things-I-never-expected-my-son-to-say list.
“In
that case, my keys are on the coffee table. Return it in the same condition in
which you found it.”
“Deal.
Thanks, Dad.”
“And
don’t get too used to it,” he added, after I had turned around.
I
spun around and looked at him, grinning. “You, either,” I said, referring to
the fact that I had just voluntarily studied for the last three hours.
“I
tell you what,” he said, pumping the dumbbell. “I’ll let you borrow it on prom
night if you promise me that you’ll study and pass your exams.”
I
usually performed well on tests even though I didn’t study; although, I did
need to make sure my test scores were high enough to dilute the effect of a few
missed assignments. Why the hell not? If I could force myself to study for
three hours nonstop, I could manage to sneak in enough studying to perform well
on my tests.
“You
just got yourself another deal,” I told Dad, hoping that he would lighten up on
his badgering if he thought I would study on my own.
“Good.
I’m holding you to it,” he said.
I
nodded my head in understanding and turned to scurry up the basement steps. When
I reached the living room, I snatched the keys to my dad’s black sports car
from the coffee table and went to pick up Dara.
She
answered the front door in a pair of blue jeans just tight enough to show off
her curves and a pale pink, snug-fitting knit shirt, which matched her lips.
Her golden hair hung in soft curls, just past her shoulders.
The
faint scent of her cologne wafted through the air.
“Damn,
you look beautiful,” I whispered as she rose up on her tiptoes to meet my lips.
“Thank
you.”
I
took her by the elbow before she could turn toward the car. “Thank you? Isn’t
this the part where you’re supposed to say that I’m beautiful, too, or better
yet, that I’m a sexy beast?”
“You’re
right,” she said, smiling. “I’m sorry.” She cleared her throat. “I’m a sexy
beast. Now can we go?”
I
pointed my finger at her. “You’re lucky I like you.”
“Am
I?” she asked in a higher pitch than normal as she pressed her splayed fingers
against her chest.
“Damn
straight.”
She
giggled as she strolled to the passenger side door. I followed her and opened
her door, waiting for her to get in.
I
closed her door and hurried to the driver’s side. “So where to?” I asked as I
slid behind the wheel.
“Well,
there’s one shop on Quail Mountain and one in the valley. Which one do you
want to go to first?” she asked.
“Let’s
start on the mountain.”
I
drove up the mountain and pulled into the parking lot of the only store that
sold formal attire on Quail Mountain. My mother shopped here for all of her
formal events, and she had purchased a black tux for me a few months back for
her Christmas party.
When
we entered the building, an impeccably-dressed, young woman met us and offered
her assistance.
“I’m
looking for a prom dress,” Dara said.
The
woman smiled and pointed us to the front corner of the store. “I’ll let you
look around. Just let me know if you need any help.”
“Thank
you,” I said, pressing my palm against the small of Dara’s back and urging her
in that direction.
The
store catered to the wealthy and offered a vast selection of wedding gowns,
formal dresses, prom gowns, and tuxes, and that’s not even mentioning the
accessories.
When
we reached the large section that boasted rows and rows of prom gowns, I took a
seat on an elegant sofa and waited for Dara to browse.
“Aren’t
you going to help me?” she asked.
“Prom
is going to be your night, Dara. I want you to pick the dress that
you
want. I’ve already told you that you’ll be beautiful to me no matter what
dress you’re wearing.”
“I
want it to be
our
night,” she responded.
“Okay.
You pick a few that you like, and I’ll help you decide on the final dress.
Fair enough?”
“I
guess so,” she said, turning toward the rows of dresses in a myriad of colors
with sequins and tulle and all the other shit that transformed teenage girls
into princesses.
I
closed my eyes, thinking that this could take a while and it might be a good
time for a nap, but a couple of minutes later, I felt her tapping on my arm.
“What’s
wrong?” I asked, opening my eyes to see her standing in front of me with
absolutely no dresses in her hands.
“They’re
really expensive,” she whispered, sitting beside me.
“What
kind of price range were you looking for?” I asked, thinking I could help her
pay for it but knowing she probably wouldn’t let me.
“Mr.
Milton gave me six hundred dollars to cover the cost of the dress, alterations,
shoes, everything.”
“Surely
they have some dresses that fall into that price range.”