dibs (24 page)

Jake was kneeling down whispering to a younger girl. She smiled up at him as he wrapped his arm around her. The precious girl’s face lit up as she hugged him back. I wondered if this was Peyton, Becca’s daughter.

Jake came toward us, reaching out for his mother with tears in his eyes.

“Mom,” he cried. “I feel so bad for Peyton,” he whispered.

“I know, baby. I know. She’s part of us now.”

Embarrassed, he swiped his hands down his face, erasing the tears. “Call me if something happens. Ok?”

From her tiptoes, Sam kissed his cheek. “You know I will. Peyton is going over to Bree’s for the night.”

Something funny happened in my chest as I watched them. So different than the last time I saw my own mother.

As Jake walked out with his piece-of-shit father, I knew that no matter how much I didn’t want to admit it, a part of Sam’s heart walked out that door with him.

I’d never seen anyone leave this world before. When Becca took her last breath, I experienced the most intensely emotional moment of my life. Four women brought together as friends…sisters by choice…losing one of their own. The girls wept as Blake and I watched.

Stunned when Juls, the badass girl, was unable to maintain and fled the room. Blake followed. Sam was more together than any of them, shedding tears but still playing her role as doctor. I watched as she hugged them, wiped her face and began making calls. Maggie, the nurse, teetered behind her waiting for instruction.

I wanted to go to Sam. Take control for her. Give her the break that she deserved. When I walked into the kitchen, she sat slouched on the soapstone counter with the phone to her ear.

“Time of death. 11:51pm. Yes. Cremated. Ok.”

Her head fell as quickly as the phone. She didn’t know I was there watching her…I stepped forward, making myself known. When her eyes focused on mine, her face broke…her spirit damaged.

“Mac,” she cried.

At superhero speed I was between her legs, smashing her against my chest. Her entire body shook with hurt. I knew her well enough from our nine short days together to know that she didn’t want to need me, but damn, I needed her to need me. All of me.

“Shh. I’ve got you.”

Time could have stood still or flown by…I’m not really sure how long we stood there, but I knew I’d stand there as long as she needed. Yet, when the doorbell rang, she immediately retracted to professional mode, smiling resolutely at me and pushing off the counter. Her phone still lay there.

I swiped the unlock button at the bottom, and her phone flashed open. She had no password. I opened the messages, and whether I should have or not, I sent Jake a message.

After the coroner left, a different emptiness set in—a reality of knowing I would never see my friend again. I would never hold her hand. I would never smell her scent. I would never laugh with her. I would never be able to give her shit for the horrible dates. I laughed alone, resting my head on the front door.

“What’s so funny?”

I cautiously turned toward Mac who rested against the frame of the doorway. Exhaustion coated his face, yet he offered me that damn sideways grin of his that made my toes curl.

“Remind me to tell you sometime about the dates she set me up on,” I said, walking toward him.

“Bad?” he asked with a cocked brow.

“Awful. Would you like to stay…” I said, casting my glance downward. “Stay the night?”

“Yes,” he said without thinking.

The lines between us were so blurred. His words from the cruise still haunted me about not wanting more.

I pointed up the staircase. “I’m the door at the end of the hall if you want to go up.”

He nodded. “Can I help you down here and we can go up together?”

“No. I’m done for tonight. Just grabbing a couple of things.”

“What about Peyton?” he asked.

I can’t say I wasn’t shocked that he didn’t ask about Jake, but his concern was understandable and heartfelt.

“Tomorrow. We will tell her tomorrow.”

With a simple nod, Mac headed up the stairs.

In the kitchen, I turned off all the lights, grabbed my phone and then tossed a blanket over Kat, who’d fallen asleep on the sofa next to Becca’s bed. After I’d checked the front door, I glanced down at my phone.

“Shit!” I ‘d missed a message from Jake.

Thanks Mac. I’ll stay here until morning.

I glanced at the text before walking up the stairs.

Hey buddy. This is Mac. Wanted you to know that it happened. Things are crazy here. Your mom’s exhausted. If you want to come home, I can come grab you. Let me know. Hoping your mom will be resting. My number 775-040-9898

My heart swelled, and the tears that had been at bay only for a short time overwhelmed me again. Fearing I would lose my composure in front of Mac, I slid down the wall trying to calm myself. What did he want? What was he looking for? Why was he being so…perfect? As if reading my thoughts, the door opened. His expression crumbled when he saw me sitting there with my phone in my hand. Before I could stand, he swooped down and picked me up.

“You texted Jake,” I cried.

Immediately, he sat me down; a look of apprehension flashed across his face. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to upset you. I thought that…”

Without thinking, my fingertips covered his lips, shushing him. Bless his heart; he thought I was upset. Things had never felt so intimate between us before.

“Mac. Don’t apologize. It overwhelmed me…in a good way.”

Taking my hand in his, he kept my fingers pressed against his lips and began kissing the tips…softly…slowly…erotically. Gently, he tugged me toward the bed.

A small gnawing in my gut roared up at me not to do this. Bail. Make him leave. Send him to the guest bedroom. This Norse God will only hurt you.
DO YOU WANT MORE, MAC? NO!

“Raise your arms.”

I did exactly as he asked. My best friend had just died…this was not what I wanted…Yes, it was what I wanted. What I needed. I craved the comfort of his arms. Anything to lessen the pain.

After unfastening my bra, Mac tossed my shirt to the floor and then pulled his undershirt up and over his head. Surprising me, he tugged his warm shirt over my head; his scent swam through my nose, robbing me of breath.

“Sit.”

I sat. Staring at him for any sort of direction, I was a mute. He knelt and removed my shoes one at a time.

“Lay back.”

The blinks of his eyes were slow…deliberate…hypnotizing. I’d been under his spell since the first moment I met him. I laid back. After unbuttoning my pants, he inched them down, leaving my panties in place. The covers on the bed were next. He drew them down smoothly, nodding his head for me to slide into the exposed triangle of sheets. I did. I watched as he shed his body of everything but his boxers. God, Becca would be cheering in heaven at this.

Mac slid beneath the covers on the other side of the bed and then edged toward me until he spooned…cocooned me.

Following the gentlest of kisses brushed over my forehead, his sea blue eyes gazed down at me with the most depth I’d ever seen in them.

“Sleep,” he whispered.

Those were the last words I expected to hear, but he left me no choice as he snuggled me closer and closed his eyes.

“Mac…”

I heard the voice lulling me from my sleep.

“Mac…” she drew it out.

Had I fallen asleep with a client? Jesus, what was wrong with me? I’d been all sorts of whacked lately. More alert, I composed myself and gathered my poker face. I opened my eyes.

Instantly, all of her hit me at once. Her beauty. Her scent. Her breath. Her. All of her. Sam…

“Hey,” I whispered, regretting my sleepy thoughts.

Her green eyes penetrated me—my vulnerabilities exposed to her. I closed my own eyes for a moment.

“Mac,” she repeated.

Conceding, I opened them again, glancing at the clock, which read 3:30.

“What’s wrong?”

She shook her head. “Nothing.”

That was one of those nothing’s that meant something, I just knew it.

“Tell me,” I continued.

Her long inhalation made me nervous, fully waking me.

“Mac.”

That was the fourth Mac. This was not going to be good.

“Please…make love to me…”

No. No. No. No. My mind reeled. Did she have a clue the intense restraint it had taken three hours ago when I undressed her? Her beautiful body at the tips of my fingers, yet I forced myself to let her sleep. And then, her body right next to me, tangled with mine, my cock at complete attention. Her green pools of lust greedily begged me to sink myself into her.

My cock had been in hundreds of women, yet I knew in my soul she was my missing puzzle piece. I needed her humor. I needed her spunk. She challenged me in a way no woman ever had.

“Baby, listen…” I roughly whispered.

When her hand cupped my cock, I pulled a sharp breath between my teeth. I don’t know who I was trying to convince more that I could be a gentleman and not seduce her…her or me…but it was a battle I was losing.

“Jesus, woman.”

“Please, Mac. Make the pain go away. Just for a little bit.”

In a matter of seconds, I tucked half her body beneath mine, every ounce of me ready to possess every ounce of her. I’d make her forget the pain. I’d make her forget every man from her past. I’d make her forget my words to her on the cruise when I hurt her with my “no”…about wanting more. I didn’t want more…I wanted it all.

I kissed where tears fell earlier, tasting a hint of salt on her cheeks. With eyes closed, her neck arched, giving me full access to her face. While one elbow supported my head, my other hand skidded down her face, committing every mark, every shape to memory. Since meeting her…since falling for her…a metamorphosis had taken place inside of me. A transition so vast—everything I ever knew, ever believed in was no more. I didn’t understand it. I couldn’t explain it. But I also couldn’t fight it. .

Taking the utmost care, I dropped gentle kisses down her neck until I reached my t-shirt she wore. As if reading my thoughts, she whipped it up and over her head, baring her breasts to me. A dry swallow got stuck somewhere in my throat. Before my mouth tasted her nipple, I leaned down and released the softest of kisses against her lips.

Surrendering to my wishes, her legs fell open welcoming me. Her thighs were warm from our body heat, and as my lips glided over them, she bowed toward me. She wanted this as much as I did.

As I stared at her glistening lips, the only thing that crossed my mind was how much I needed her to be mine…only mine. The thought of another man touching her, pleasing her, taking her in any way, made me shudder with rage. I wanted to be the only man to ever please her again.

When my tongue grazed up her center, a harsh exhale seeped from her lips. This pleased me. Spreading her lips with my fingertips, my tongue circled her swollen clit. Her entire body quivered at the touch.

“Mac…please…make me come,” she whined.

I stopped the stimulation. “Baby, I just got started.”

“No. Please. I need this now. Then I need you inside of me.”

My cock was about to detonate. Control was mine, but tonight, what the lady wanted, she got. Lowering my mouth over her throbbing clit, I swirled around that swollen nub until her hips began to rock. Her hands fisted in my hair, keeping me in place. I slid my finger, between her slick lips, delving two of them inside of her.

“Oh!” she moaned.

As I sucked and swirled, I could tell by her groans she was close. The sound of her wetness as my finger slid in and out of her only fueled my fire.

“Mac!” she softly cried.

As she came, the insides of her pussy gripped my fingers, pulsating around them like her fucking heartbeat. Jesus Christ…she was everything.

Dropping kisses on her belly, her breasts then her neck, I hovered over her mouth to see if she was hesitant to kiss me. A lust fog coated her eyes as they rolled back into her head.

“God, Mac.”

“I prefer Thor, baby.” I winked. “Kiss me.”

Zero hesitation. Her fingers fisted in my hair as she forced our mouths together. Our tongues danced a slow, sensual reunion—the best fucking reunion ever, as her taste fused both our senses.

Already wedged between her legs, I slowly tilted my hips until my cock pressed against her wet pussy. When I had left Carson City earlier, I had no intention of fucking her. My only thought had been one of comfort. I didn’t have a condom, and here I was with a cock knocking at her door.

“Sam…”

“Just pull out, ok?” she whispered, desperation clung to her words.

My only response was to deliberately slide into her as brutally slow as I could, watching her expression change as our bodies became one.

The day she bolted was the day I knew I wanted her fully. I knew what it was like to lose her. That feeling, that loss, was something I never wanted to experience again. I’d do as she said.

Oh my God…the pure uninhibited, carnal pleasure of her body surrounding my cock—latex free—was intensely gratifying. As I steadily pumped in and out of her, stealing my breath, I memorized every inch of her insides as my head rubbed against her walls. Her pants of hot air against my ear heated me more.

“Jesus, Sam.”

Suddenly her hands palmed my ass pulling me deeper.

“Sam…” Stars speckled as my balls tightened. I was going to come. Fuck! I didn’t want to pull out. I wanted a part of me inside of her. My cock expanded to it’s fullest as she cried out on my final thrust. I pulled out, releasing a pile of come onto her stomach. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. This precious woman beneath me…I had to tell her about who I was before I lost her. I would—soon.

Staring out at the backyard, watching Peyton and Jake in the pool playing together through their grief, warmed my chest. All part of the healing process. One week had passed since the funeral. Everyone had gone home. My new life as a mother of two was beginning.

Mac and I texted and talked every day, but the thought of seeing him today fired off synapses in my brain that had been dead for awhile. The hormonal roller coaster I’d been on for a couple of years steadied out, and I now lived on a peak I never wanted to fall from.