dibs (4 page)

***

As we stepped off the stinky, stale smelling shuttle, I took in a fresh breath of air, trying not to touch the disgusting door. If this were any indication of what the boat would be like, then I was screwed. Then I spotted the big, white boat. Boat? This thing was massive. Beyond massive. HUGE.

“Oh wow,” Kat said. “Look at that thang.”

“Jesus, you guys. Today may as well be April 15, 1912, and that right there may as well say RMS Titanic because there is no realistic way this thing can float.”

“You’re right Sam. We’re goin’ down. So you better find your very own Jack Dawson who can save your life,” Jules joked, edging in front of me.

“Find a car down below to fuck him first!” Kat said way too loud.

“Mr. Dawson, at your service.”

We all three spun toward the baritone voice behind us. Some twenty-something-year old kid stood behind us with a sexy grin. He winked at me.

“Dibs.” I heard one of the girls say as I fought a smile.

“That’s cute,” I piped in. “You’re like fifteen. When you’re done watching Scooby Doo reruns, then we can talk.”

“Oh come on. I look more like Leonardo than I do Shaggy or Fred.”

I had to give it to him, he was hot, but adorably young, yet his perfectly confident smile drew a grin from me.

“Son, can you help your mother with her bag,” a distinguished looking gentleman with manicured sideburns directed toward…Leo. Son? Oh. My. God. The father reminded me of Limp Dick Jay.

“Son?” I questioned chuckling as we all made our way to the inevitably ill-fated ship.

“Celebrating my parents’ silver anniversary.”

Being 40…I quickly calculated our possible age difference. Leo couldn’t be over twenty-four.

“So honestly, screw Scooby Doo, right?” I joked. “I’m dealing with the Brady Bunch?” I laughed and his older than me father eyeballed me.

Leo stepped away and nabbed his mother’s bag, and then hoofed it back up to me. I wondered if he even knew what the Brady Bunch was.

“You know. Mrs. Brady did have an affair with her much younger son, Greg.”

Obviously he did. Laughing out loud, I admired his conviction.

“Sam, come on,” Juls said waving her hand directing me toward the line she was in. “Rule 26,” she said. “Work hard, play harder. Right now we have to get this done…then you can play tinker toys with your little friend.”

“Goodbye, Greg Brady.” I grinned. When he started to say goodbye, his mother smacked him in the back of the head. We all three giggled.

The enormity of the ship was an understatement. Bryan and I had talked so many times about taking a cruise, and well, it just never happened. Life happened. Medical school. Residency. Jake.

Following the directives of staff, we were immediately up on deck with our lifejackets waiting for instructions. There was some bullshit, half-assed briefing on what to do if the ship was going down…with assigned life rafts…like it would be some orderly procedure? While the crew was pointing to a different group of people, I slid the jacket over my head just to make sure it fit.

The snugness around my neck was somewhat suffocating, so I pulled a strap that I thought would loosen it, but the damn thing tightened like a freaking python. Now, the harder I tried to maneuver my way out, the tighter it got.

“Juls!” I squeaked out, but she was talking to some damn guy. I frantically tapped her shoulder with extreme urgency, but she flipping held up her finger making me wait. DYING HERE! RULE 31: Never interrupt your friend when talking to a hot guy. There was no clause about pending death.

“Was there something about trying on the floatation devices because I don’t see another soul with theirs on.”

When I spun around, a freakishly gorgeous man with a sarcastic smirk and dazzling blue eyes hovered over me. Damn…another young one. His hair was longer than I’d seen on a man in a while, but not…long. His perfect mane was gelled back flawlessly.

After clearing my throat and every attempt at trying to withhold the brewing panic attack, I glared at him.

“You look like you need me,” he said with hidden innuendos lurking in his words as he gently inched the strap and shifted it in a way that allowed oxygen to my lungs. Blood once again pumped into my noggin.

“Need you?” I was finally able to speak. How arrogant. He knew how perfect he was. “I need you like a guy on a ledge needs a push.”

A crooked grin seeped lazily across his lips. Jesus.

“You were about thirty seconds away from brain damage through asphyxiation. I saved your life. No need for a thank you.”

I yanked the life jacket over my head. With a few strands of hair sticking to the sweat on my face, I blew the rest of my hair out of my eyes only to find his sapphire ones gazing into mine.

“Look, Andre. I’m sure you’re used to women bowing at your feet…who also come fully equipped with natural brain limitations… but I am not a woman who falls victim to the flirty blue eyes of a man, nor am I a woman who needs saving.”

At this point, I’d missed the full instructions for the life rafts and my life jacket saving me was suspect itself. When a chuckle roared from the gorgeous Greek God, I narrowed my eyes.

“Andre? And don’t tell me you don’t want some of this,” he asked between laughs.

“The Giant?” I asked like it was a question. Maybe he was too young to know Andre the Giant. “And I’m not interested in the slightest.”

With his index finger and thumb, he rubbed tears from his eyes. Was it really
that
funny?

“You know, Rose was thankful to have Jack Dawson on the Titanic. He saved her more than once,” he threw out.

A second Titanic reference. Not a good sign.

“Are you gay?” I asked, my eyes taking a path down his flawless jaw line. I mean what guy makes reference to Titanic. “And Jack Dawson died and sank!”

“You are like a ray of fucking sunshine, sweetheart.” his words were insensitive, but his smile blanketed the harshness.

“Well…you’re welcome, and don’t call me sweetheart,” I said.

“I’m sorry,” he said with narrowed eyes. “Did I upset you by being kind and helping a poor woman in distress?”

For whatever reason the word woman hit me wrong. I had a feeling he meant it in a menopausal sort of way.

“A
woman
in distress? Oh my God. Quit while you’re ahead, ok?”

“Ahead? There’s clearly no chance of that with you.”

The veins in my neck throbbed in sync with my pulse, which coursed through my body. Then…he raised an eyebrow. My guess is because I didn’t have a comeback. I’m not sure who he thought he was dealing with. I ALWAYS had a comeback.

“Are you on this cruise alone? I can’t imagine you have many friends?”

His arms crossed over his chest—perfect defensive position.

“This coming from the woman who doesn’t play well with others—especially those trying to help her.”

“Look Mr. McNasty, surely there is some other
young
damsel in distress that needs saving.”

The full lips on his portrait-ready face pulled into the sexiest side smile ever.

“Maybe she’ll know how to appreciate a man.”

A gasp snuck out of my throat as I flipped around, pushing past Kat and Juls, and away from
Andre
. When I chanced looking back, both girls were facing away from me and directly at him.

RULE 11: Always, always have your friend’s back—whether you know the story or not.

What the hell just happened? I laughed out loud as soon as she beat it away from me as fast as she could. Her friends spun around and eyeballed me like I had done something wrong. Quickly, my hands darted out to the side.

“I come in peace,” I said.

Wow, all three of them were beautiful, but I decided right then and there I’d stick with life jacket girl. The smartass. Her soft perfume still lingered, though her sassy red hair was a clear indication of her temper.

“What did you say to her?”

“She got stuck in her life jacket, and I helped her out. With little to no thank you.”

“Were you mean to her?”

A huff roared up from my throat. “Please. She’s like a female Mike Tyson. My head is still spinning from all the jabs and hooks.”

The thinner, muscular girl chuckled, nodding. The other kinder looking one gave me a tight-lipped smile.

“She doesn’t mean to be that way. She wants to be nice,” she said.

I peeked around the girls to see if Iron Mike would be making a reappearance. Nada.

Muscle girl nudged me. “She doesn’t play nice with me either.”

“Oh shut up, Juls. Come on.”

This Juls girl saluted her friend and gave me a dreadful look before saying, “Whatever you say, Kat.”

They both walked off.

“I’m going to make that ass mine before this trip is over.” Blake leaned into me and nodded toward the Juls girl.

I snickered and turned back toward our group.

I was going to have to wrap up and glove up for the girl I’d set my sites on. This guy was ready to rumble. That kind of banter with a hot woman was my kind of foreplay. Damn…my palm stung thinking about the way I was going to light up her ass. A slow grin crept over my lips at the thought of the fight
that
might cause.

***

“You gonna fuck Larissa tonight?” Blake questioned.

“Nope! Have at it.”

He slapped my back. “She’s wet for you, bro.”

“Intercept that pass for me buddy, you take her.”

Our locker room banter bordered on disrespectful. I cast a glance over my shoulder to make sure no one was within earshot.

“Whatever, dude. You know our rule. Besides, I’d like to find that girl from earlier that you were chatting with.”

I slowed down. We were almost back to our cabins. “Which girl?”

“You know. That girl with the small tattoo on her shoulder.”

That would be the Juls girl.

“It’s a big ship but I bet we can find her.” I winked at him before I dodged into my cabin to change. There was a sexy, fiery redhead I was after, and I had no doubt that I’d find her. Challenge accepted. Game on.

The sun instantly warmed my skin when I came up on deck, already sticky with sunscreen. I hated sunscreen. My stomach was questionable after the night on the rough seas, but the sun immediately melted over me making me feel a little better.

Juls and Kat sat in the sun…no umbrella, no nothing. Idiots.

“I have two words for you dumbasses. SKIN CANCER!”

Not a single umbrella was free as I tossed my bag into the lounge chair they’d saved.

“What took you so long, whitey?” Juls asked—her perfectly tanned skin already looking even more bronze.

“I’m on vacation. I slept in.”

Kat slurped on a fruity looking drink.

“You girls drinking already? It’s bad for your liver you know.”

They clinked glasses, knocking the pineapple off one of the glasses.

“You let us worry about our livers. Your specialty is pussies not livers,” Kat said. She still had her shorts on. Even though she was heavier through her hips, I hated that she felt the need to hide her body. And of course, Juls could have competed for Miss America.

I covered the chair they’d saved for me with towels, relaxing back. The sun was hotter than I expected. Once situated, I noticed we were stationed right in front of the surfing thing.

“Why are we here rather than a pool?”

“Some guy told Juls that we have to spend one day by it because of all the wipeouts. So grab a drink.” Kat nodded at the bar. “Then sit back and we wait for the first wipe out.

“OH! MY GOD!” the loud, obnoxious squeal permeated the peace on the deck.

All three of our heads snapped toward the squawking woman in the turquoise barely-there bikini—her face all made up with layers of makeup. Filing in behind her were three more exact replicas of her—it was like Charlie’s Angels reincarnate—Kelly, Jill and Sabrina. Tootling behind, two semi-hot guys and then…him! Oh my God. The deliciously hot jerk from the lifejacket incident.

As quick as the girls snapped their heads to look at the squealing angel…they snapped like a rubber band back toward me when
he
appeared. My guess was they were eyeing the proximity of any surrounding dangerous weapons. Juls moved her half full glass away from me, arching a brow in my direction. This cruise ship was ginormous, and you’d think I could go eight hours without running into him again!

As much of a douche as he was…he was certainly a top of the line douche. Holy shit…that rock hard body. Extra large douche. I couldn’t imagine the size of vagina that man would fill! Jesus, he must have stood six-four, and his body was massive in a sexy...Chris Helmsworth sort of way. THOR! This man was Thor. And he certainly didn’t belong with Kelly, Jill or Bree. They seemed high maintenance. He was just the opposite. And watching him follow the angels—he didn’t seem to care that guys were checking out his girl. Whichever angel she was.

Thank God he hadn’t seen us yet, but I sure as hell wasn’t moving once he started taking off his shirt. I nestled back in my chair. He may be an ass, but he was a sexy ass. He and his cronies were pointing at the surf, and I had a hunch we were in for a show.

“Oh dear God!” Juls moaned watching him.

“Dibs!” I quickly said beneath my breath. “Never mind. I shouldn’t call dibs. He’s too young.”

“Dibs!” Kat spat out.

I slapped her arm. “You’re married, you ‘ho!”

She cackled with laughter, and my eyes instantly shot to Juls. Even though she knew I was struggling with the dates from hell, she knew how unhappy I’d been. My menacing glare clearly prevented her from calling Dibs. Juls was buff as shit, so I knew she wasn’t that scared.

“Yesterday, you wanted to punch him in the throat!” Juls announced.

“I still do. But maybe it could be very angry, aggressive sex.”

Kat giggled. “Here he goes.”

Our three sets of eyes focused at the top of the surf ramp as he stepped out into the water holding onto a rope. I swear to God on everything freaking holy…they didn’t make shit like that when we were younger. As he stepped on the board, every God forsaken muscle on his entire body clenched as he skillfully balanced himself.