DIFFERENT (Different Series Book 1) (7 page)

              I thought that this time things would be different, but really it was just the same as the others. Right now it was lunchtime, yet I was sat alone in the classroom, staring out of the window as I picked at the cheese sandwich that I’d raced in and out of the school canteen to buy.

              I felt like I was falling down a tunnel that never seemed to end. Leo hadn’t tried to make it up with me because Leo didn’t care. He had Megan now, beautiful, popular Megan.

            A girl like me wasn’t meant to have friends. It was amazing that Leo had ever bothered with me in the first place. Had I just been someone to preoccupy his time before he started going out with Megan? Had I ever meant anything to him at all?

            People changed friends, and only the strongest friendships survived. It had been this way back in the care home: kids fell out, some made up and some didn’t, and some went along with others just so they felt like they were included. I had always been on the side lines, watching, but then I came to Oakwood, and Leo found me. He gave me a chance. Good things never lasted forever, especially not for a girl like me. They had to end eventually.

              I was starting to feel like there was nothing in Oakwood for me anymore. Maybe I was better off on my own, maybe I always had been. At least then it’d be safer for everyone. At least then I wouldn’t get angry and harm them.

***

It was the end of school, and I was rooting through my locker, looking forward to getting out of this place. I slung my bag over my shoulder and was about to join the stampede of students in hurrying up the corridor when Megan appeared in front of me, Leo reluctantly trailing behind her.

              ‘Hi, Celeste,’ she smiled.

              ‘Hi,’ I replied, my gaze changing from her to Leo.

              ‘Right, this is ridiculous, you two are best friends, and you need to sort it out,’ she huffed as she grabbed Leo’s arm and dragged him towards me.

              ‘Why do you care, anyway?’ Leo mumbled out. He had a point. I didn’t get Megan’s change in behaviour either; until yesterday I’d never even had a proper conversation with her.

              ‘Because you’re clearly both miserable and it’s giving me a headache. Just sort it out, will you? I’ll be back in a few minutes,’ she said before she walked up the corridor, her ponytail swishing behind her.

              Leo and I both stared awkwardly at each other. I really didn’t want to have to deal with this right now; I had enough on my mind. Besides, he was only here because Megan made him. He clearly wasn’t really bothered about our friendship because I hadn’t received one text or call from him since we’d argued. I’d needed a friend, and he hadn’t been there.

‘Look, I’m sorry, okay? I was a jerk.’ He eventually broke the silence.

‘Yeah, you were,’ I sighed as I picked at my nails.

‘But you need to stop being afraid that people won’t like you and talk to other people besides me sometimes.’

‘Why bother, when I know they won’t like me?’

‘Well, you’ve managed to win Megan round, no idea how you managed that one,’ he grinned.

‘Me neither.’

‘Friends again?’                                          

‘Yeah, I guess so,’ I half smiled.

‘Good, you two haven’t brutally injured each other, so I’m guessing you’re made up,’ Megan said as she reappeared by us.

              ‘Yeah, we’re okay now,’ Leo said.

              ‘Great, you want to come into town with us then? We’re going to get a milkshake,’ Megan said as she grabbed onto Leo’s hand.

              ‘Thanks, but I can’t today. I said I’d help Louisa with her homework.’

              ‘Oh, okay. Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then,’ she said.

              ‘Okay,’ I replied, hoping that I didn’t look as uncomfortable as I felt.

              Leo gave me a wave before he walked up the corridor, still holding Megan’s hand. He was completely smitten, and it made me want to vomit. Guess that explained why Megan was being nice to me, so that she didn’t look like the jealous girlfriend. She was cleverer than I gave her credit for.

              I started to walk up the now-quiet corridor on my way to meet Louisa by the gates. Normally Leo walked with me, and then he made the effort to talk to Louisa and make her laugh before we either all headed into town or went our separate ways home. He’d been my best friend, and now I’d lost him to some girl who looked like she belonged on an MTV show.

              ‘You stay away from my sister,’ someone behind me said. I spun around to see Brandon standing there. His hair was flattened down today, and he had a severe expression on his face.

              ‘She’s the one who keeps talking to me, what am I meant to do?’

              ‘You stay away from her, else I will ruin your life, you understand me?’ Hatred was in his eyes, and his cheeks were flushed red.

              I didn’t reply, instead I turned around and headed up the corridor.

              ‘I mean it, Celeste,’ he shouted after me.

              I could have made him slice his nails into his skin and drag them all the way up his arms. I could have shoved him into the wall with such force that his bones shattered. I could have caused him to strangle himself to death. Instead, I walked away, trying to stop the tears from overflowing in my eyes and trickling down onto my cheeks.

              What if next time I didn’t stop myself? That was the problem with me, I was unpredictable. I tried to be normal, but it never quite worked out. I didn’t know who I was anymore, but then again, I’d never known, not really. I wanted someone to tell me that what I could do wasn’t weird, that it was okay. I wanted someone to tell me that I wasn’t alone.

              As I walked out of school, I saw Louisa leaning against the wall by the gate as she fiddled with her phone.

              ‘You’re late. I thought you’d forgotten about me or something.’

              ‘As if. I just had to sort my locker out and stuff.’

              ‘Where’s Leo?’

              ‘With his girlfriend,’ I sighed. ‘Come on, let’s go.’

              ‘Woah, he has a girlfriend? Who? I thought you two would get together.’

              ‘Nah, we’re just friends. He’s with Megan.’ I started to walk and she followed me.

              ‘Megan, as in Brandon’s sister Megan?

              I nodded, really not wanting to talk about that bully right now. Just the mention of his name made me want to shout out. He was vile and dangerous, and worst of all he seemed to enjoy being the way he was. Thinking about it, I was more dangerous than he was, and sometimes I enjoyed what I did. What if I was a worse person than Brandon? If I was, then I knew that I definitely needed to leave Oakwood. I didn’t want to hurt people, yet I already had, and I knew that I would again.

              ‘Wow, does this mean that you’ll see more of Brandon? If so, you’re so lucky!’

              ‘I don’t know.’

              ‘He’s so cute, and he seems a really nice guy, too. He helped Summer pick her books up when she tripped and dropped them all over the floor. We all reckon she did it on purpose, although I’m kinda annoyed she thought up that plan and I didn’t. Now, every time he passes her in the corridor, she’s convinced he smiles at her.’

              ‘I don’t know, Louisa, can we talk about something else please?’ I bit on my lip as I tried to stay calm. I didn’t want to think about Brandon. I still had the bruises on my arms that he’d caused, and the warning he’d just given me was swirling around in my head.

              ‘Now Megan’s all cosy with Leo, you could put in a good word for me with her. You know, tell her how good I’d be for her brother and stuff. We could go double dating, or triple dating if you dated one of Brandon’s friends.’

              ‘It’s never going to happen between you and Brandon. He is a horrible person. Besides, you’re just a silly little kid,’ I screamed at her.

              She came to an abrupt halt and instantly started to cry.

              ‘Look, Louisa, I’m sorry, okay?’ I pleaded.

              ‘Just stay away from me,’ she sobbed out as she hurried up the road.

              I stood there and watched her walk off until she was no longer in my sight. I’d managed to mess things up with the only person in this stupid town that I had left. I hadn’t made her harm herself or encased her in a box of fire; instead, I’d managed to hurt her just with my words. I’d hurt her by just being myself.

Chapter Six

I arrived home to Gloria standing in the hallway, her arms folded and a serious expression on her perfectly made up face.

              ‘Celeste, do you know why Louisa came home crying and has now barricaded herself in her bedroom?’ She confronted me as soon as I stepped inside. I hadn’t even had chance to take my shoes off. ‘Celeste?’ she repeated, after I stood there silently.

              ‘It’s my fault, but I didn’t mean to upset her. I will go and talk to her now.’

              ‘I don’t think that’s a very good idea. Just go to your room and I’ll deal with it.’

              ‘I’m sure if I apologised she’d be okay.’

              ‘No, Celeste, you’ve done enough damage. Just go to your room,’ Gloria snapped.

              She’d never raised her voice before, and it caused a jolt of anger to rise up in me. I looked past Gloria at the large floral vase that was by the stairs, and it shattered into hundreds of pieces that scattered across the floor so that it now looked like an abstract piece of art.

              ‘How did you do that?’ Gloria said, looking stunned.

              ‘I didn’t, I was nowhere near it,’ I said before I started running up the stairs.

              Gloria didn’t shout after me or follow me, and I didn’t blame her. I was a freak who’d come in and messed up her perfect family.

              I closed my bedroom door behind me, fell onto my bed, and sobbed into my pillow. I hadn’t meant to break the vase. I’d just been so shocked by the way that Gloria had reacted, and I’d felt betrayed. I wasn’t Gloria’s daughter. I was just the outsider.

              I fiddled with my phone and lingered over Leo’s number before I let out a sigh as I placed it down on my bedside cabinet. Leo was preoccupied with Megan, but even if he weren’t, I couldn’t tell him the truth about what I could do. He wouldn’t have believed me, so I’d have to show him, and then he’d be so terrified of me he’d never want to be around me ever again.

              Whoever Finn was, he knew what I could do, yet he wasn’t afraid to talk to me. He seemed to know about me than I did, and I needed answers. I was going to meet him in the park later and I was going to find out the truth, even if I had to make him tell me it.

***

I thought that sneaking out of the house would have been hard, but I guessed that the Prestons weren’t bothered about what I did tonight as long as I stayed out of their way.

              I managed to walk down the stairs, across the hallway, and out of the front door whilst the rest of the Prestons were no doubt sitting around the kitchen table. I knew that they’d be relishing the fact that I wasn’t with them as they ate Gloria’s homemade chicken and bacon pasta bake.

              I knew what they were eating because ten minutes earlier I’d received a knock on my door and I’d opened it, thinking that it was Louisa forgiving me, but instead all that was there was a plateful of pasta bake in front of my door.

              I’d felt like I was a nuisance who they just wanted to keep out of the way. I just wanted to feel a part of a family; I just wanted someone to want me.

              I’d brought the food into my room, although I hadn’t eaten any it. Normally Gloria’s food was too good to resist, but this time the smell of heated cheese didn’t appeal to me. Instead, the stench seemed to fill my entire room, and I found myself longing even more to leave.

              As I stepped outside of the Prestons’ house in my blue skinny jeans and my black jacket, I walked up the driveway, and I was glad when I’d walked out of the neighbourhood.

              I imagined that I wouldn’t have much time left in Oakwood, and I wondered what would happen to me next. I was the girl that no one seemed to want, and this fact sucked. I’d really thought that this time things would be different. I liked the Prestons, and I liked having Leo as a friend. The problem was that the Prestons would always favour Louisa, and Leo would always like Megan more than me.

              It was a breezy, extra cold night. I found myself shivering through my jacket as I quickened my pace. Sometimes the cold was good, as it reminded me that I was alive.

              I arrived in the park early, and I wandered over to a bench that wasn’t far from the entrance.  Apart from the few people that were walking down the park’s path, the only other people in it were a bunch of teenagers that were sitting on the grass, but they were too far away for me to see if I knew them or not.

              I sat down and picked at my nails as I waited for Finn to turn up. I started to doubt if he would come. What if he turned out to be like all the others and let me down? After all, I hardly knew anything about him.              

              Finn was ten minutes late when he finally walked up the path and then sat down next to me. I had to admit that I was relieved to see him, even though I’d started to believe that he wasn’t going to turn up.

              ‘You’re late,’ I said, not meeting his gaze.

              ‘Sorry. Although I wasn’t sure if you’d actually turn up.’

              ‘Well I kinda want to know why you keep stalking me and telling me things that make no sense.’

              ‘I wouldn’t call it stalking. I am trying to help you’