Dipping Into Sin (a BWWM Alpha Male Romance) (9 page)

“W
here are you going?” I asked her, as she started to slide off the bed. After our three round sex-fest, the last thing that I wanted her to do was leave. If I had it my way, I would keep her in my bedroom for the rest of the week and feast on her mouthwatering curves.

“I have to go,” she said, as she searched unsuccessfully for her black thong. I secretly held onto her black thong, and I had no intention of giving it back. Abandoning the search, she clasped her bra and pulled her t-shirt over her head, as I privately inhaled her scent that was left on her thong. Pushing the thin garment under my pillow, I watched her closely.

“Why?” I asked. My dick bobbed in appreciation of her beautiful curvy body, as she bent forward and exposed her fat bare pussy.

She blew out a helpless breath. “Classes start tomorrow,” she simply said, with her back turned to me. She seemed to scurry around the room to locate the rest of her belongings, as if she wanted to keep as much distance as possible between us.

“I’ll take you to class in the morning,” I said convincingly.

“I can’t stay. Besides, I don’t have a change of clothes, and my school bag is in my dorm room,” she said, making excuses.

Standing to my feet, I made my way to her as she slid her sweatpants over her ample rump. My cock jumped up eagerly, as I got closer to her. Wrapping my arms around her body, I stilled her movements and held her against my chest. We stood in that position for a brief moment, before she reluctantly attempted to pull away.

“I’m sorry, I can’t stay,” she said in a choppy voice.

Turning her around to face me, I noticed a trail of tears rolling down her cheeks. On instinct, both of my hands palmed her face—wiping her tears away with my thumbs. An alarming urgency and a sense of protectiveness flamed up in a full surge.

“
Bella mia,
why are you crying?” I asked, flushed with worry. She tried to move away, but my hard grip stilled all her attempts.

“Talk to me…please,” I begged.

“This is…what…the third time that we’ve fucked. I’m not your sex toy, and I don’t like that I lose all sense of control when I’m around you,” she said, in between tears.

“
Bella mia,
I lose myself when I am around you, too. I don’t know what it is that you do to me, but I can’t let you walk away from me. I just can’t…” I admitted as I hugged her.
Shit…that’s the last thing that I wanted her to know
, he thought, as he silently cursed himself out. He couldn’t deny the feelings that stirred within him when it came to
her
. But, he convinced himself that the feelings were lustful desires, purely based on sex. After all, she’s new pussy and just another conquest that will be added to my list.

“It can’t just be this. I have more respect for myself than to just be at your beck and call whenever you want to fuck me,” she said as if filled with anguish.

“Please, just give me a chance. I knew that if I asked you out on a date, you would most likely turn me down,” I spoke truthfully…at least it was partially true. Fucking her was the main reason why I wanted her initially. The more she attempted to reject me, the more driven I became. There was this eagerness to command Simone to fall in line with the rest of the other women that I fucked.

“Why would I turn you down?” she asked. She lifted her head and stared at me as if she was searching for the answer in my eyes.

“I don’t know what Victoria told you. I mean…this is new for me. I don’t do commitments because I like my freedom to fuck whoever I want. I’ve only dated…” I began. The only woman who I dated was Josephine, and even that was rarely done. As much as I convinced myself that Simone was just another pussy, a large part of me knew that she deserved no part of
me
.

“Josephine,” she said as she forcefully pushed her body away from me.

“Yes, Josephine. We’ve known each other our whole lives. Our families have known each other since the old country,” I explained. “Our families want us to be together. I don’t want to be with her,” I said, which was not a complete lie.

“So, are you and Josephine together or not?”

“No, we are not together,” I lied.

“Well, she has her mind made up about you. She threatened Victoria at the Christmas party. I don’t want Mr. Spillmore to be fired because of you and me,” she said.

Chuckling, I asked, “That’s what she said?” I laughed, knowing all too well that Josephine’s threats meant more than firing Donald Spillmore. Like many of the privileged pampered offspring whose family is in this business, threats like the one Josephine made were not to be taken lightly. One complaint made by Josephine could end the whole Spillmore bloodline, especially since they are not of Italian descent. They are what we refer to as associates. The process of killing them would be easier because no meetings or discussions with the council would be necessary. Donald Spillmore is one of our most loyal associates, who has covered our trail of money successfully for over twenty years. But the way to avoid bloodshed is to maintain a relationship with Josephine…and to minimize the appearances with Simone. Simone is not high maintenance or clingy; therefore, that will be easy.

“Not exactly, but she made comments to Victoria that seemed as if I was putting Mr. Spillmore’s job in jeopardy if I become involved with you,” she said, as she started putting on her sneakers.

“Don’t worry about her. Josephine is harmless,” I said, becoming even hornier as I watched her. With little effort, she exuded sex appeal that even a blind man could sense.

“Let me take you back to your campus,” I practically begged.

“I’m fine with taking the train,” she said, as she zipped up her jacket.

“I’m not going to let you take the train,” I said, as I started to put on my clothes, “…and please don’t fight with me.”

“Were you born in Italy?” she asked, as I stopped at the red light.

“No, my sisters and I are first-generation Italian-Americans. We did spend every summer in Florentine, Italy. When I turned eighteen, my family sent me to live in Italy for two years,” I said with much regret after saying the last statement.

“Wow…two years? Why?” she asked. I could feel her eyes staring at me.

“I went to school out there,” I said emphatically, even though my statement was far from the truth. I had to live in Italy for two years to lay low after murdering five people. In order to become a “made man” and move up the ranks, I had to commit murder. I took out five members of the Costanzo family to ensure that there was no lineage left.

“So, that explains your subtle accent. I mean, you do have a New York Italian twang—but it sounds different,” she said, with laughter in her voice.

“I suppose you’re right. My mother taught us Italian first, and we learned English in school. While in Italy, I had to speak Italian the whole time. Why do you dislike the Italian language?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

“Honestly, it is not a practical language that I can use, especially in the field of medicine. It’s not that I don’t like the Italian language—I’d just rather learn a language that is in high demand…like Spanish or Haitian Creole.”

“I…should be reason enough for you to want to learn Italian if we are going to be together,” I said without even thinking. It is as if the statement poured out from my heart.

She laughed softly, before asking if I was serious. I pulled up in the front of her dorm, parked, and turned the car off. Shifting my body sideways to face her, I saw a flicker in her questioning eyes.

Is she really afraid of me?

“I am serious. I want you to give us a chance,” I said, as I reached out and held her trembling hand.

“You do know that I am nineteen years old, right?”

“You do know that I am twenty-six, right?” I asked sarcastically.

“I don’t want to state the obvious, but I am an African American woman, and there is a seven-year age difference. We don’t run in the same circles, and we come from two different backgrounds. I should have never crossed that line of being intimate with you. A relationship will be an unnecessary complication,” she said, as she pulled her hand away from my hand and unbuckled her seat belt.

Blowing out a harsh breath, I began massaging my temple with my index and middle finger.
As much as I hate to admit this…she’s right.

“This was a big mistake. I have to go,” she said, as she placed her hand on the door handle.

“Wait.”

“What is it now?” she asked.

“Just give
us
a chance. I’ll do anything to convince you to take a chance with me. You’re different. I knew that the moment I laid eyes on you. It was not that you were the only African American woman in the VIP section,” I began. “You gave off this unusual aura that commanded my attention,” I confessed. “I knew that I had to have you.”

“And you did,” she mumbled under her breath.

“If sex was all that I wanted from you—I could get that anytime from you,” I said casually out loud and immediately regretted those words. Whipping her head up at me, she gave me a piercing look of disgust. She pulled the handle and jumped out of the car. Quickly exiting the car, I walked around the car and caught her by her fingertips and pulled her frame towards my body. Her breathing changed immediately after I drew her to me.

“I’m truly sorry. What I said came out wrong. I have never had a woman who affected me the way that you do. Please give us a chance, and I will show you that there is more to
us
than just sex. I know that you can feel it.” Leaning forward, I couldn’t resist the urge to kiss her any longer. Capturing her lips with my greedy mouth, I kissed her deeply and reveled in the subtle moans that escaped her lips.

Breaking away slightly from my body, she looked up at me as if searching for any reason to remain apprehensive about us pursuing a relationship. “If we are going to move forward, I want you to actually court me. Show me that there is more to
us
than just sex. I don’t find it attractive that you go around beating up guys all because you cannot control your jealousy. So please, reframe from doing it. Also, I need you to respect that my education is my main priority, and everything else is secondary. Most importantly, material things and monetary values do not impress me. I don’t care about your money or your social status because it is not benefiting me,” she said firmly. Her forwardness was a complete turn on.

“Fair enough. But, I need you to understand that I am going to take care of you regardless because that is what
real
Italian men do. I need you to promise me that if you need or want anything, you let me know first,” I said staidly as I got lost in her beautiful eyes, and she nodded her head slowly.

S
he looked breathtakingly gorgeous in her red silk shirt and black leather shorts. Her hair was pulled up in a high sleek ponytail, and she wore little to no makeup on her flawless cocoa skin. She wore black peep-toe stilettos that enhanced her thick thighs and toned legs. I stood outside of my car speechless, as she walked closer to me. When she was finally within arm’s length, I pulled her body towards me and kissed her sweet lips.

After three months of dating, she still had the same effect on my entire body—a bolt like spark that shocked me everywhere.
I don’t know how I am going to ever give her up when she holds my heart,
I thought each and every time my mind drifted off to how my life would be once she was gone. Surely, I knew that it would never be the same. But, I couldn’t…
NO
…I refuse to accept it.

We spent the first two months dating and learning about each other. I don’t know how I managed to keep my hands off of her for two months, but I had to convince her that it was more than just sex between us. I did feel a hint of guilt—mainly because she did not know me. I gave her little to no information about me by keeping the focus directly on her. She’d opened up about her mother and stepfather and why she decided to go away to school. I had to resist the urge to kill her stepfather, Henry, with my bare hands. Without consciously knowing, I had adopted her problems, and I felt a level of responsibility to make her world perfect. The amount of hardship that she experienced in life has made her unbreakable. But, I know that I was playing a dangerous game by being with her.

I never knew the exact moment when I had fallen in love with her, but I knew that I wanted to turn that emotion off. Everything that I knew about myself became unclear. I was so engrossingly eager to fulfill my duty to my family and La Cosa Nostra. I lived and breathed everything that this lifestyle represented. If loyalty was not my strongest suit, I would have chosen her…my
bella mia
. Though, I’ve never vocally revealed my feelings to her, I couldn’t hide how I felt physically. Her beautiful spirit was refreshing and all too new for me. She was not superficial or fake, like most other women who surrounded me.

Simone will never understand how beautiful she is on the outside, as well as on the inside. She’s completely down to earth and has a heart bigger than life. Even Reed appreciated her refreshing personality. Every other Friday, all three of us would cook dinner together and joke around until the early morning. Reed was the only person who knew about Simone, and I intended to keep that part of my life a secret.
She will never know why we could never have anything permanent
. The thought of her moving on after our relationship was unsettling. A large part of me knew that if I ever found out about the new man in her life…let’s just say that I should not be held liable for any harm that “just so” happens to come his way. I know—selfish of me, right? But that’s what love does to you.

Before her, I accepted my marriage arrangement to Josephine Capparelli. Josephine and I knew each other our whole lives. Our families were closer than blood, and this marriage would create a strong alliance that would ensure the birth of even more powerful generations. She’s beautiful and accustomed to our life, but she didn’t hold a torch compared to Simone. Josephine asked no questions about my business because she knew that her role was to breed and maintain an image. Most men would find that to be a blessing…shit, I thought so too, before Simone. Simone wanted to know my every thought—she wanted to know
me
. But, I couldn’t let her.

Sex with her was unbelievably intense. She was inexperienced; yet, she was the best that I ever had. Even my favorite and most stable fuck buddies couldn’t compare to the chemistry that we shared.
I don’t think that I will ever get tired of making love to her,
I often thought as I explored her body. I used to be able to tolerate women throwing themselves at my feet, but now it became utterly annoying. Her scent and taste damn near caused me to go insane, as I craved her 24/7. Keeping our relationship a secret was harder than I anticipated because I wanted to show her the world. One night, she showed me a scrapbook of all the places that she would love to travel to. I listened as she talked about the history of the different cities; however, instead of feeling enlightened, I felt more angered. I hated the fact that I had to limit the places that we could go.
It’s for her safety,
I would continuously remind myself.

Right now, our driver is taking us to a surprise private rooftop dinner in Rhode Island. As we got closer to the location, I pulled out a black scarf and managed to get her to comply with me blindfolding her. Just as I finished blindfolding Simone, Susan, my event planner, forwarded the pictures of the decorated rooftop. For the past two weeks, while Simone was completely focused on her exams, I contacted Susan. With an unlimited budget, Susan was able to fly over performers from India to entertain us with their native dances. For an additional $20,000 I flew in India’s most popular chef to prepare our meal tonight. We came up with a Bollywood and Indian enchantment theme with a luxury tent that had a clear roof so we could look at the stars. The elaborate Indian décor transformed the rooftop into our own piece of India.

“We’re walking straight onto the elevator,” I said, as I directed her.

“Baby, where are you taking me?” she asked for the tenth time tonight.

“You’ll see,
bella mia
,” I said once again, as the elevator doors closed.

The moment we entered the rooftop, I guided her to the center of the open space and untied the scarf. Her eyes lit up with excitement, as she spun around the room and took in the sight.

“Oh my God,” she said repeatedly, as she brought her hand to her mouth. Tears glistened in her eyes, as she stood in shock. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I hugged her from behind and placed a soft kiss on her neck.

“Hello, Ms. Sinn. I’m Susan,” said the voluptuous pretty woman, as she extended her hand. Still in shock, Simone took a moment before she grasped her hand.

Susan and I have worked together for the past three years. In fact, she is the event planner for my up and coming proposal/engagement party in September. Today, I had to pay her double for her silence. Yeah I know…fucked up, right?

“You did an amazing job,” Simone said, as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

“I hope that you enjoy tonight’s performance,” Susan said, as she smiled and walked onto the elevator.

Wrapping her arms around my neck, Simone nearly squeezed the life out of me. We sat down on the soft burgundy carpet and leaned against the plush wispy pillows, and awaited our first appetizer.