Authors: Watt Key
I didn’t take but a few steps before I broke out onto an old tram road that ran the high ground above the creek. I’d stumbled upon a path out of the forest. I wished I’d found it earlier, but there it was.
I still had those dogs waiting on me at the clay pit. They’d done all they could to help me. But it had always been up to me. I was the only help I had.
I rolled off the mattress and got to my feet.
“Caboose!” I yelled.
No answer.
I searched for the mirror, found it, and stuck it out the slot. The corridor was empty and quiet. Then I heard him say, “What?”
“Stick the mirror out and talk to me.”
After a minute I saw Caboose’s arm appear from the slot. Then I saw his face in the mirror.
“I gotta get out,” I said. “I gotta go home. I came too far for this.”
“I can’t keep gettin’ up. The stab wound bleeds when I move too much.”
“They lied about me! They can’t do this to me!”
Caboose didn’t reply.
“They’re stealin’ my life! I’ll be damned if I’m gonna play by anybody’s rules when the guards let me out of this dog box.”
Caboose’s arm withdrew.
“Fine,” I said. “Go ahead and lay down. I’m gonna get my own dirt on these people if it’s the last thing I do.”
I pulled my arm back in and sat on the floor. “This ain’t happenin’. No way in hell. They ain’t seen trouble until they’ve seen what I can bring ’em.”
* * *
A guard came for me late Monday morning. He escorted me by the arm from solitary, and we stepped into the hall again and the familiar smell of disinfectant and bleach rushed into me.
“How’d you like seg?” he sneered.
“I don’t know what all the yellin’s about. You’re gonna have to do better than that if you wanna impress me.”
He stopped and looked down at me. “You wanna be a smart-ass?”
“I don’t see what difference it’d make.”
He let go of my arm and hit me across the back of the head. I took a step forward and got my balance. Then I turned and looked up at him and locked eyes. I thought he would hit me again, but a smile slowly spread across his face. “Thata boy,” he said. “Now Mr. Pratt’s really gonna have a good time with you. Get out of here. Stay in the bunk room until lunch.”
I lay on my bed until I heard the others file into the hall when class let out at noon. After they passed and everything was quiet, I slid off my bunk and went after them.
The mess room was louder than I remembered. Things were getting back to normal since the gang fight. Preston was sitting in Jack’s old chair at the Ministers’ table and he glanced at me a few times as I got my food. Leroy gave me a half smile and I nodded at him.
I faced the Hounds while I ate. Paco tipped his fork at me discreetly and I raised my cup and twitched it in response. “That’s right, you crazy Mexican,” I mumbled. “I’m back. I’m back and pissed off.”
* * *
Preston approached me on the play yard the next day. He was eating a candy bar from the canteen. I remained leaning against the fence and watched him until he stopped before me. “What do you want?” I said.
“You know the Ministers need a leader?”
“I don’t care what they need.”
“They want me to be their leader if you won’t do it.”
“Fine. Be their leader.”
He studied me for a second. “I’d like to hear Jack’s side of what happened down there.”
“What’s your point, Preston?”
“I just don’t know how you did it. He’s bigger and meaner than you.”
“You want me to show you?”
He didn’t reply.
“Then go on over there and be the leader and play your stupid little game.”
“We’ll be strong again. We’ve got some tough guys.”
“Good for you,” I said.
“They’ll forget about what you did after a while.”
“Maybe I’ll come kick your ass and remind ’em.”
Preston started to say something, but didn’t. He shifted his feet nervously, then turned and started walking back.
“And the next time you get in my face,” I said after him, “I’m gonna lay you out.”
He kept walking like he didn’t hear me.
“Yeah, you heard right, you little wuss. Just try me. I don’t have anything to lose anymore.”
Daddy looked bad when I saw him on Thursday. His eyes were red and I don’t think he’d showered in a few days.
“You didn’t start up again, did you?”
He shook his head. I held out my hand to him and he grabbed it limply. “They ain’t gettin’ away with this crap,” I said.
We sat across from each other. “What happened?” he asked me. “I thought it was all clean.”
“They lied to Mr. Wellington. I didn’t do any of it. This place is illegal as hell.”
“What are you talkin’ about, son?”
“I’m talkin’ about the people that run this place do whatever they want and tell people on the outside a whole ’nother story.”
“Mr. Wellington said they’ve got you written up for knife fightin’.”
“That’s a damn lie too.”
“He doesn’t know what he can do.”
“I know. But I’ll tell you one thing, I ain’t sittin’ back and lettin’ this happen, Daddy. I’m through playin’ by the rules. I ain’t never done a bit of good in my life, but I’m about to start.”
“You ain’t doin’ nothin’. If there’s some ass-kickin’ that needs to be done, I’ll do it.”
“They ain’t gonna let me out of here before I’m eighteen.”
“You need to watch your temper.”
“Screw my temper. Get Mr. Wellington to come see me. I need to talk to him. I need to tell him what I know.”
Daddy started to say something, but stopped himself. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll see if I can get him over here.”
“And don’t you start drinkin’ again. Whatever they said, I been keepin’ my side of our deal. For now, at least.”
Daddy nodded. I clenched my jaw and breathed heavy out of my nose and tried to calm myself.
“Don’t tell Carla about all this.”
“I won’t.”
“Maybe you can go ahead and get Moon’s address for me.”
“I can do that. You said you wanted to give him a little more time to adjust to his new family.”
“Yeah, I know. He’d probably try and come bust me out or somethin’. Forget it.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, forget it. He’d know by my letters I was in trouble. He don’t need that right now.”
“Well, I’ll work on it anyway and you’ll have it when you’re ready. I’m sure he’d like to hear from you.”
I put my hand through my hair and looked around and took a deep breath.
“You know,” he continued, “I told you things picked up at the clay pit. Got that new construction project up the road. We’re tryin’ to hire another driver, but they want me to work overtime until we get somebody. I might not be able to come by as much until we do.”
“That’s fine. You need to keep your job and stay straight. I’ll be all right.”
“Well, you know I’m thinkin’ about you every day.”
“I know.”
I was surprised to hear I had a visitor Saturday morning. When I entered the visiting room I saw Mr. Wellington waiting for me at a side table. Off to my left I saw Paco sitting and talking quietly with a small, neatly dressed man. The man had Paco’s round face.
Mr. Wellington didn’t have his briefcase with him that morning.
“That was pretty fast,” I said, sitting across from him.
He smiled politely, but I could see the disappointment in his eyes. “Your father said you wanted to see me.”
I looked around the room. A guard stood against the far door, biting his fingernails and studying his hand. “There anyplace we can talk in private?” I asked.
“I’m not sure that would help. I don’t know what else I can do for you, Hal. I’m sorry.”
I leaned in close to him. “They lied to you, Mr. Wellington. I know it’s hard to believe comin’ from a guy like me, but they flat out made it all up.”
“All of it?”
“All of it. You gotta believe me.”
“It doesn’t matter what I believe, Hal. I’ve seen the conduct report. That’s the evidence.”
“It’s all a lie.”
“Can you prove it?”
“I don’t know how. How would I do it?”
He shook his head.
“This place is so corrupt you wouldn’t believe it. They got boys that need to be in the hospital and they won’t let ’em go.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I know a guy that got stabbed in here. They just wrapped him up and stuck him in solitary until he got better.”
“Why would they do that?”
“I don’t know. This whole place is screwed up.”
“The state would investigate if there was an unusually high rate of injury.”
“But not if they cover it all up and don’t report it.”
“Hal.”
“What?”
“You’re going to have to start accepting your situation.”
“Don’t start that, Mr. Wellington. You got to listen to me. I got nobody else. You gotta help me figure this out.”
“I’m out of options, Hal.”
“Tell me what you need. I’ll get it.”
“Listen, I’m going to shoot straight with you. It’s going to be at least a year before the judge is going to reconsider your case.”
“A year!”
“Yes. You need to focus on that. You need to stay clean.”
“How many times have I gotta say it! I am clean!”
Mr. Wellington stared at me, unmoved. I took a deep breath and looked around the room. Paco was watching me. I turned back to Mr. Wellington. “Sorry,” I said.
“It’s okay. I understand.”
“Well, just don’t give up on me. I don’t know what I’m
gonna do, but I’m gonna do somethin’. I’m mad as hell about all this.”
“I won’t give up on you, Hal. But don’t make your situation any worse than it already is.”
Neither of us spoke for a moment. Finally I stood. “Thanks for comin’,” I said.
I went out onto the play yard and crossed to the fence. If the other boys were watching me, I didn’t notice. I sat and faced the field, studying the pine trees that Paco wanted to touch. I breathed deep through my nose, trying to pull in the turpentine smell. I just got dirt and asphalt and the sweat of Hellenweiler. Then all of the anger in me was smothered away by a blanket of gloom.
“He’s right,” I mumbled to myself. “I can’t prove anything. Who am I to beat the system?”
I lay back on the ground and let my mind go blank. The sound of crows came across the field.
“They can say whatever they want. They can make me into whatever they want.”
The basketballs bounced behind me and the boys yelled.
Was this how it would be for four more years? Me alone in no-man’s-land. Maybe I should take Preston up on the offer of leading the Ministers. Maybe I should walk over to Paco and give him the nod and get initiated.
And I saw myself standing among the Hounds, facing Tattoo. He would want to fight me. He would bloody me up and send me to the infirmary. Then I would go to solitary and return days later no different than all the others. A documented violent youth. A piece of trash. The conduct report full, the medical records . . .
Then it came to me. The medical records! I sat up and jerked a look over at Paco. He was watching his boys at their basketball game. “Medical records, Paco,” I mumbled aloud. “It’s the damn medical records. That’s the dirt!”
I kept watching him, but he wouldn’t look at me. I faced the fence again and felt my lungs swell with hope.
I wanted desperately to talk to Paco about my new idea, but he was off-limits, surrounded by Hounds. There was only one other person that could help me do anything about it. Fortunately he walked onto the play yard that afternoon.
Caboose made for his corner of the fence and took his old position. I stood up and started toward him.
“I’m comin’ over,” I said. “Like it or not.”
He didn’t move.
I covered the distance and leaned against the fence next to him and scanned the play yard. The basketballs stopped bouncing on both courts. The Ministers watched. Preston’s eyes grew wide and Leroy’s mouth hung open. I looked at the Hounds. Paco grinned at me and shook his head. “You see me now, don’t you?” I mumbled.
Caboose kept his head low, and no one but me could have seen his mouth moving. “You’re lucky you didn’t know me before,” he said under his breath. “You might not be so sure about this.”
“Don’t gimme that. I know your game.”
“We’re not talkin’ here.”
“Where then? I got an idea and I need your help.”
Caboose didn’t answer me.
“You don’t meet me and I’ll follow you around like I’m your best friend until you do.”
He scraped the dust with his shoe. “I’ll go to the bunk room after supper,” he said. “I’ll listen to you. But I don’t want you to get it in your head that we’re any kind of team. I got my own plans. I do things my own way.”
“Fine. Just hear me out.”
“I told you what I’d do. Now go back down there where you were. This is my corner.”
I sat a few chairs down from Caboose during supper. Afterward I went ahead of him to the bunk room while all the other boys went to the rec room. I waited on my bed until he entered and creaked down on his mattress. The floorwalker stepped into the doorway, watched us for a moment, then stepped out.
“Jack told me he had dirt on the guards,” I said. “What if we had our own dirt?”
“Jack’s got people on the outside. We can’t do anything from in here.”
“But what if the dirt is already in here?”
Caboose cocked his eyes at me.
“It’s got to be the medical records, Caboose. That’s got to be what Jack’s talkin’ about. I’ll bet if we could get the medical records we’d have our own dirt.”
Caboose looked away again. “Say you could get them. Who would you give ’em to?”
“My lawyer.”
“And what makes you think there’s anything in there you can use? If you’re right and Jack’s dad used ’em before, then Mr. Fraley’s not gonna let it happen again.”
“I don’t know. But it’s worth a try.”
“Not for me. I don’t need dirt.”
“Yeah? What’s gonna happen if you get in trouble with the law after you leave this place? They’re gonna pull up your records from Hellenweiler and lock you away for good. You know they’re gonna be on you like a cowbird.”