Authors: Watt Key
“Maybe.”
“I need you, Caboose. You know how to get around this place. Maybe there’s a way into the infirmary through the basement.”
He didn’t answer me.
“There is, isn’t there? You went out some back way. And you have a key to get down there. You didn’t use the one the Ministers had.”
No reply.
“Come on, Caboose. What about the infirmary? Can I get in there from the boiler room?”
“Yes. But if you get caught, you might as well move into solitary.”
“I gotta try. I can’t stand here and do nothin’.”
“Yes you can.”
“I ain’t givin’ up.”
“Who says anything about givin’ up? You just need to be smart. Make them think you gave up.”
“So you got a plan?”
“Yeah, I got one,” he said. “I’m gonna do my time and walk out that front gate and go straight to a phone book and look up the home address of every guard in this place and kill ’em one by one.”
I was about to respond, but my mouth just hung open and the words wouldn’t come.
“Kill ’em all for what they did,” he said.
“What the hell, Caboose?”
“You can piddle with those medical documents all you want. I don’t need any of it.”
“Man, they’re gonna give you the death sentence.”
“They already did that when they killed my brother.”
“That’s crazy. You gotta stop thinkin’ like that.”
“You done?”
“No. What if I can get those medical records and there’s really somethin’ to it all? What if we can get Mr. Fraley in trouble—maybe get him put in jail—would that be good enough?”
“No.”
“You killin’ everybody doesn’t get all the lies off our records. You thought about that? We’ll be screwed.”
He didn’t respond.
“You’re just kiddin’ me, aren’t you?” I said.
“I don’t have the key. It’s Paco’s.”
“Man, you and Paco have somethin’ goin’ on, don’t you? I swear there’s somethin’ between you two.”
Caboose didn’t say anything for a few seconds. Finally he said, “I can get the key for you, but that’s it. You do what you have to do, I’ll do what I have to do.”
“I’ll get it myself. I’ve got my own weird thing goin’ on with Paco. And I know you’re not serious about all this killin’.”
Caboose got out of his bed and began walking away.
“Thanks,” I said after him.
He didn’t answer.
During supper the next evening, I watched Paco across the room. When I finally caught his eye, I moved my chin slightly in the direction of the confessional. He studied me for a second and looked away.
I waited in the confessional until Paco entered, then I shut the door and put my foot against it.
“How was your stay in solitary?” he said.
“Like a nice vacation.”
Paco chuckled. “Good for you.”
“Was that your dad I saw you with in the visiting room?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“I thought he’d be bigger.”
“I take after my mother.”
“How often does he come see you?”
“Once a month. It used to be more. He has to drive several hours from Huntsville. But I don’t think this meeting is about my father.”
“You’re right. I saw your other friend Caboose while I was on vacation.”
“And he spoke to you?”
“Yeah, he did. You talk to him too, don’t you? And you sent him down to the basement, didn’t you?”
“It was a contest, my friend. He lost.”
“What kind of contest?”
Paco smiled. “You’ll have to ask him.”
“Whatever, Paco. What is it between you two?”
“We’re concerned about our future. I get out right after him. We’ve discussed business opportunities.”
“Yeah, what are you gonna do about him wantin’ to kill every guard in this place? You gonna get caught up in that?”
Paco shrugged. “I told you Mr. Fraley walks a thin line. He crossed it a year ago and does not even know it.”
“You guys are just gonna go back to jail for the rest of your lives?”
“What else do we know?”
“Man, what’s wrong with you? Is this one of your head games again?”
“And surely this meeting is not a lecture.”
“I called you here to talk about another way. You and Caboose may be leavin’ this place soon, but the rest of us gotta figure somethin’ else out.”
“Caboose is going to take care of all that for you.”
“What good’s that gonna do? That still leaves our conduct records that they’ve messed with.”
Paco didn’t respond.
“Listen, Paco, there’s somethin’ you haven’t figured out. Sure they’re messin’ with the conduct reports. But they’re messin’ with the medical records too. And I think that’s the dirt Jack has. My lawyer says if Hellenweiler reports too many injuries the state’ll investigate. Then they’d blow this place wide open.”
Paco backed against the sink and pushed himself up until he was sitting. “Go on,” he said.
“Jack told me it didn’t matter how bad he hurt me, no one would know. Which is the truth, right?”
“Mostly. Yes.”
“So it all makes sense. Mr. Fraley doesn’t want us to get out of here. The only way he can be sure of that is to keep us bad on paper—let the fights happen. But then he has to cover up as many injuries as he can.”
Paco studied me without replying.
“Don’t you get it?”
“Of course I get it. But how do you prove it?”
“I can’t prove the conduct—that’s just their word against ours. But I’ll tell you how you prove the medical records. When I was in the infirmary the nurse wrote her report and I looked at it. It was all the truth—the whole damn truth on four carbon copies. Then she gave it to Mr. Pratt. It has to change sometime after that. After administration gets it.”
“She gave him all four copies?”
“The whole thing. It had a possible concussion on there too. You’d think they’d have to report that.”
“So you would have to get a record of what she wrote before it changes?”
“Right. I need your key to the basement. And I need you to show me how to get into the infirmary. That’s where it all starts.”
“But you would have to wait until someone was hurt.”
“Yes. I need to get in right after.”
“So we need an initiation?”
“Yeah.”
Paco raised his eyebrows. “What does Caboose think about this?”
“He doesn’t want anything to do with it.”
“Of course not.”
“What do you think about it?” I asked.
“I think it’s a long shot . . . I’ll consider it.”
“What do you have to lose?”
Paco rubbed his thick hand over the top of his head. After a moment he said, “I only have a few months left here, Hal. Let’s say you get caught. My boys will know I gave you the key.”
I wanted to say something, but didn’t. Paco watched me and I got the feeling that he read my thoughts anyway.
“But I will consider it,” he said.
For several days I watched Paco, waiting for some sign that he wanted to meet. But he seemed to be making an effort to avoid me. Finally toward the end of the week he made his decision. He glanced at me across the mess hall and twitched his chin toward the door.
After supper I went into the confessional. There were already two Ministers talking and using the urinals. They glanced at me and got quiet as I walked behind them. I stood against the wall until they left.
I heard the door open a few minutes later and Paco entered. He pointed to the door and I went behind him and put my foot against it.
“It sure does take you a long time to make a decision,” I said.
“Sometimes,” he replied, moving toward the sink.
I waited for Paco to continue, but he didn’t. He turned on the water and began washing his hands, considering something.
“So what’s it gonna be?” I finally said.
“I asked myself why I find friendship with a new boy. And I think, maybe I am still like a new boy myself. Although my body may be bigger, I stopped growing inside myself the day I walked in here. I have learned only how to be a thug. And I will take that away from this place. I will never be a forester. I will never go back to school. It’s too late. I am finished.”
“Come on, man, you—”
“It is true. I have failed. But you, my friend, have something strong inside that I haven’t seen here before. I don’t know if it is ignorance, stupidity, or courage, but you have it. And they have not been able to extinguish this thing in you yet, but they will. I don’t want to see that happen.”
“So you’ll help me?”
Paco reached in his pocket and pulled out a key. “Yes,” he said. “I’ll do what I can. Which is not much. Are you ready?”
“Of course I’m ready. Can’t you ever just get to the point?”
After we made sure the hall was clear, Paco let me into the utility closet. Once inside, he closed the door and locked it behind us. Then he flipped on the light and we started toward the back.
“My father used to read to me,” Paco said as he strolled along.
“Read what?”
“Stories. James Carlos Blake, Gabriel García Márquez, John Steinbeck.”
“I never heard of any of those guys.”
“That’s unfortunate.”
“That how you got to be so smart?”
“It is not how smart you are, it is what you learn that matters. Outside of this place I have only made-up stories in my head.”
“Why won’t you tell me what happened to you?”
“I told you, I don’t even remember the truth.”
“Like hell.”
“I was this boy and then I was someone else.”
“Whatever, man.”
We turned the corner and started down the corridor to the boiler room stairs. About halfway, Paco stopped and reached above the overhead pipes. His hand came away with a flashlight. He switched it on, saw that it worked, and continued.
We were soon descending the stairs into the strange blue flicker and the breathing and wheezing of machinery. I thought back to the terror of the place the last time I’d seen it. I waited for the fear to grip me, but with Paco I wasn’t scared.
We stepped into the water pooled at the base of the stairs. I began to feel the wall for the switch and Paco grabbed my arm. “No,” he said. “There are places in this building where you can see the light down here. Remember that.”
“Preston turned it on.”
“Preston’s a fool,” he said.
“Yeah, I know.”
He flipped on the flashlight. “You must use this. Follow me.”
We made our way across the floor, Paco occasionally shining the light back so I could see my way through the machinery and pipes overhead. We traveled deep into the room until the blue flickering was behind us. Finally we came to another set of stairs. Paco turned to me.
“No talking past this point. We are close.”
“Can you bust out of Hellenweiler from here?” I asked.
“No. But these stairs will lead you into another utility corridor similar to the one you saw before. Open the door at the end of it and you will be three steps from the infirmary. To your right will be the offices and the visiting room. As you know, there is another set of locked doors beyond that.”
“Why don’t you just get a key to those too?”
“I should tell you the story of the keys sometime.”
“Sure. I guess whenever you decide to tell me about how you got sent to Hellenweiler.”
Paco got the key from his pocket and gave it to me. “You have what you need now. If you get caught, the guards will finish you off in solitary. Your first stay was easy. A week in there will suck you dry of any spirit you have left. There will be no more hope for you.”
“Thanks for the encouragement.”
Paco turned to go. “It’s only truth. Let’s get out of here before we’re missed.”
All I needed was another initiation. I was sure my plan would work. It had to work. It was all I had left.
Every time I stepped into the bunk room, I studied the bunks in no-man’s-land to see if they’d been recently made. But the days slipped by without any sign of a new boy. I went about my routine—breakfast, school, lunch, school again, play yard, bunk room. No one talked to me, no one watched me. Occasionally I glanced at Paco and Caboose, and even though they ignored me, I let myself believe they were my friends, acting out their own strange games of survival in this place.
The blue skies and heat of an Alabama summer were starting to burn away the cool spring weather. The play yard became dry and dusty and smelled of burnt rubber. I sat with my face against the fence, watching meadowlarks in the field, no longer concerned with what was behind me. Sometimes a man on a tractor would pull a disk across the field to kill any young sprouts that tried to grow there. The dirt was always kept bare and loose, waiting to record the footprints of anyone that tried to cross it.
One afternoon I studied the far trees where frenzied
blackbirds flocked in the top of a giant live oak. I didn’t have long before the buzzer called us in to supper. There was no way to tell time, but I’d developed a strange sick feeling that rose in my chest—some kind of internal clock that anticipated that awful sound.
I saw a car moving slowly in and out of shadow along the turn row at the far end of the field. The car looked familiar, but I couldn’t place it. When it approached the live oak, the blackbirds lifted from the tree. I watched them until the last one disappeared into the depths of the forest. Then their calls were lost to me and I returned my focus to the car. It parked under the shade of the oak. After a moment I heard two doors slam.
“Hey, Hal!” someone shouted.
I sat up straight and strained my eyes. Carla took a step into the field and waved at me. My heart leaped and I stood and clenched the wire with my hands. I looked over at Caboose. He was turned and watching.
Carla’s older sister, Rhonda, stepped up behind her.
“Your daddy said to tell you he misses you!” Carla yelled.
I squeezed the wire. She looked so good and fresh it made me want to cry.
“I’ll be waitin’ for you!” she yelled.
A Hellenweiler maintenance truck was coming up fast behind them. Rhonda gave Carla a tug on the arm, but she didn’t move. I felt a knot swelling in my throat.
“I miss you too!” I yelled.
She blew me a kiss. “Don’t do that,” I mumbled.