Dirty Billions: A Bad Boy Billionaire Romance: (A Chicago Suits Second Chance Romance) (14 page)

M
y head hurt
. We were not even over the Pacific yet and I would have done anything to get off this plane. Maybe I could demand they land it, and I get out wherever we happen to be. Because a random place was better than being here.

Why didn’t Collin tell me he had a baby? Or that he was in the middle of a divorce? To a woman who looks just like me. Unbelievable.

“Baby, you’re right, I should’ve told you. I’m sorry.”

“How could you leave your child?” If he can leave his baby, what chance have I got of him not leaving me for the next city on his list?

“Huh?”

“You left him. Did you promise him you’d be back to get him in six months?”

“I had to leave. It was the only way to straighten myself out.”

“I don’t believe that. It was just you being you, leaving behind the people who love you for the next city.”

“What? No, it was nothing to do with that. Trust me, it was the only way.”

“He’s right,” Blake said looking at me, his eyes ringed in red.

“Thank you, Blake,” Collin said, not taking his eyes from me.

“He was fucked up bad. Mister playboy partier. He needed to be away from Harlan,” Blake continued.

“That’s enough now, Blake,” Collin said, still not taking his blue eyes off of me.

“So you’re telling me you left for the sake of the child?”

“Yes. Raylene and me, we shouldn’t be in the same room. But I stopped the partying because of Harlan. Raylene didn’t. She might’ve lived under the same roof as the baby, but she saw him less than I did.”

“So who’s raising the poor thing?”

“The nanny. Only until I can get custody.”

“Which you have, now she’s dead?”

Collin cleared his throat. “Yeah.”

“Let me guess, that’s the reason for this trip, to get him? And you brought me to, to what exactly?”

“To include you. Jenny, babe, I want you to be part of my life.”

“By springing a baby on me?”

“He’s mine,” Blake said through gritted teeth.

“What?” Collin flung himself back in the chair and spun the chair to face Blake.

“Harlan’s mine.”

Collin closed his eyes and tapped his fingers off his forehead. “What do you mean, Harlan’s yours?”

“He’s mine. I want him.” Blake snarled.

C
ollin punched
the wall of the plane with enough force that for a minute I worried the plane would open up and we’d all be sucked into the air.

“I said I want him.” Blake stared Collin down.

“Holy fucking hell. How is this happening?” Collin stood directly in front of Blake, his nostrils flaring as he screamed.

If my head was spinning five minutes ago, it entered an out of control g-force tumble now. Whatever kind of life Collin’s been living, it’s not what I’d expected of him all those years ago.

A marriage to a woman he clearly hated. A woman with an uncomfortable resemblance to me. A baby he clearly adored. One that now might not be his. How much longer is this flight? I want off.

Unintimidated, Blake’s eyes bore into Collin. “I said I want him.”

“How do you know he’s yours?” Collin demanded.

“She was my girlfriend. She got pregnant. It happens.”

Collin’s body twisted to me. My heart broke at the anguished look on his face.

He turned back to Blake, positioning his body over the giant man. “Then why did she tell me it was mine?” he asked, the strain in his voice unmissable.

“It was her idea.”

“What was?”

“To make you think he was yours.”

“And why would she want to do that?” Collin didn’t let up his interrogation.

“It doesn’t matter now, I want him.”

“But you didn’t want him before?”

“Before I had Raylene, now he’s all I have left of her.” As he said it, Blake broke down sobbing again.

“I’ll ask again, why didn’t you want him before?”

“Is there someplace else on this plane I can go sit?” I asked.

Both Collin and Blake turned to look at me, and I squirmed under the weight of their gazes. Collin shook his head and turned his attention back to Blake.

“I’m waiting. Why didn’t you want Harlan? Why did you let another man marry your girlfriend?” His voice was measured, but it was impossible to miss the seething quality of it.

Blake stared straight ahead, as if Collin wasn’t standing three inches from him, raining down a verbal barrage of questions on him.

“I suppose you were in on the photos too? I hope you drop it, because you’d only be hurting yourself, it’s your own fucking bonus and pension that you’d be hurting if you release them.” Collin said.

Photos? Drop what? Hurting his pension? What the fuck?

Blake said nothing and Collin eventually sat down.

No one said another word for the remainder of the fight. The six most painful hours of my life.

“
Y
ou can find
your own way,” I said to Blake as I held the Audi A9’s backdoor open for Jenny.

She hesitated. For a moment I worried she’d go with Blake instead of me but in the end she got in the car. I walked around to the other side of the car and slid into backseat beside her.

As the car pulled away, I took her hand. She didn’t pull it away, nor did she return my reassuring squeeze.

Jenny stared out the car window, I don’t know whether it was to ignore me or take in her first look of Hawaii. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking and it was driving me crazy.

As much as I examined her during our silent flight, I wasn’t able to read her reaction. Did I lose her again?

Did I just lose my son on the same day? Was my son even my son? My body threatened to erupt in anger and I didn’t like it. How did this happen?

Though it was virtually the only thing I thought about for the remainder of the flight, it was still impossible to understand the situation.

What did Blake mean it was all Raylene’s idea? Why would he claim with such certainty that it was his baby? The anguish was almost too great to bear.

“Can you drop me off at a hotel?” Jenny said, not taking her eyes off the window.

The words cut and for a moment I was powerless to answer. She didn’t look over at me, but I stared at the back of her head anyway. Her dark hair tumbled over her shoulders, taunting me.

I cleared my throat. “Baby, if that’s what you want but please, can we talk about this first? I know all the stuff on the plane was a massive shock to you.”

“A shock? A wife and baby is a lot more than a shock.” She still didn’t take her gaze from the streets of Honolulu.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve told you before. There’s no excuse.”

She let the silence between us hang for a painfully long time, because the six hours of it on the plane wasn’t enough. I didn’t push her to speak, no news was good news as far as I was concerned.

We drove along, the bright sun a stark contrast to my gloom.

“I’m going to go to a hotel.”

“Sure baby, I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.”

“Thank you.” That sounded entirely too formal for my liking.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come meet Harlan first? I can take you to a hotel afterwards. The best on Waikiki beach.”

“I, um, I’m sorry, I think it’s best if I go to a hotel.”

“Right,” I said, unable to finish my sentence for fear of my voice breaking. I took several deep breaths before leaning forward. “We need to stop at the Royal Hawaiian.”

“Yes, sir.”

* * *

T
he car pulled
up to the historic pink hotel. As I stepped out, I could hear the roar of the waves on Waikiki beach. I went around to the trunk and pulled Jenny’s suitcase out.

She came around the back of the car. I turned and pulled her case into the hotel before she had a chance to stop me.

“Collin,” she called after me, “I don’t think I can afford this place.”

“Baby, I’ve brought you all the way here, I’m not about to make you pay for a hotel.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. We tried it, we really did, but it didn’t work. It’s best now if I find my own way.”

The finality of her words took a minute to sink in and when they did I wanted to scream and yell and throw stuff. Instead I said, “I insist.”

I marched into the hotel before she had a chance to object. They knew me here well because I sent them many of my VIP clients. I went straight to the executive check in counter.

“Hey, Judy, how’s it going?” I forced myself to sound friendly and interested, something my years schmoozing with clients has taught me.

“Collin, nice to see you back in town.”

“I have a friend here that needs a room.” I waved my hand towards Jenny.

“Hi there,” Judy said.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can afford a room here.”

“Well let me see what we can do. Collin is a good friend to the hotel, and I’m sure we can comp you a room but let me confirm it with my manager.”

I stared after Judy as she disappeared through a door. Jenny stood just behind me, and to my side. I had to try again.

“Baby, do you want to take a couple of days here, enjoy the beach, while I sort some stuff out? Then I can come back for you, and we can fix this, we really can.” I ran my hand down her arm and tried to take her hand but she pulled it away.

She shook her head. “No, I don’t think we can fix this. You lied. A great, big whopper. Which might be okay, except you seem to have too much going on in your life. Too much that you’re not even aware of yourself. Something’s going on with some photos. You need to focus on straightening out your situation.”

And there it was. I knew from the start not to drag her into my fucked up life, and I went and did it anyway. I didn’t blame her. Not one bit.

There was nothing more for me to say.

Judy returned, and rushed over to us.

“Good news…” she started but when she looked at me she stopped herself. “Collin? Is everything okay?”

Unable to form words from my constricted throat, I nodded and offered nothing more. Judy looked to Jenny and back to me.

“Well, good news, we’re able to let you friend have an ocean view suite in the tower on the house. I wasn’t sure how long you wanted it for, but you’re welcome to stay up to a week on the house.”

“Great, thanks Judy.” I managed to force the words but couldn’t make them sound anything other than dead.

“Free?” Jenny asked.

“Yes honey, no charge.”

“Thank you, that’s amazing.”

“Let’s get you checked in.”

“Here are you card keys, the elevator’s through there. I’ll have your bag sent to your room.” Judy passed me the cards and pointed to her right.

My heart raced as I marched to the elevator, terrified of what Jenny would say next. She caught up to me, and we stood in front of the elevators.

“I can find my way from here,” she said, her voice flat and her eyes on the elevator doors.

“Jenny,” I tugged at her hand but she wouldn’t look at me.

The elevator doors open and she stepped inside. I tried to follow her but she put her arm up, blocking me.

“I can find my way from here. It was nice seeing you again,” she said.

Her words ripped my heart from my chest and shoved it in my face. The doors started to close but I shoved my arm in them, holding them open.

“I love you,” I said, trying to capture her eye contact.

Jenny stared over my shoulder, to the lobby behind me. After several breaths I let go of the door and watched it close.

I didn’t blame her. Why did I even attempt to bring her into my life?

T
he second
the door closed I broke down in tears, having to lean against the wall for support.

How could he do that to me? All of it. Not telling me about the wife and child, that’s bad. He point blank lied when I asked him why he stopped drinking. Why?

Did he think so low of me, that I couldn’t accept a child from a previous relationship? Or did he bring me here to show me his baby and house and life in Hawaii because he wasn’t going back to Chicago?

Or did he not tell me because the previous relationship was messed up.

Whatever was going on between him and Blake was seriously messed up. The way he stood over Blake, barking at him the way he did, I didn’t know that side of him existed. Collin seemed oblivious to the hatred Blake clearly had for him.

I still couldn’t figure out the comment about Blake having the photos, and releasing them would be hurting himself. What was that about? No matter how long I turned it around in my head, I couldn’t understand.

I stumbled to my room, a glorious one bedroom suite in a tower overlooking the expanse of Waikiki beach. If I wasn’t so heartbroken, I might’ve enjoyed it.

I raided the mini bar for tequila, along with scotch and rum and vodka, and set myself up on the balcony.

Seeing all the couples walking hand in hand on the beach brought me to the brink of tears. Instead I focused on the waves rolling in and out, their sound soothing my aching heart.

A man on the beach used a stick to write the words ‘marry me Katie’ and covered them with a beach towel. I knocked back another shot of straight vodka as he led a blonde with a bob to them, went down on one knee and ripped the towel away.

I would never know that happiness.

On the verge of hyperventilating by the time she’d flung her arms around him, I went inside and threw myself on the bed.

How did I let myself get swept away by Collin again? I knew from the start it would never work. How could I be so stupid to ever think that it might?

Somehow I managed to delete all the text messages sent by Collin without reading them. That’ll teach him what it feels like to be blanked.

I wiped the tears from my cheeks and phoned Marla.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“I’m in Honolulu.”

“No way.”

“We flew here today on Collin’s jet.”

“What’s going on? You sound drunk. And sad. That’s not a good combination”

“Turns out he has a wife and a baby. We broke up.” I broke down.

“What?”

“Yeah. The wife just died. He brought me here to get the baby. He only told me on the plane.”

“He just sprung that on you? That’s fucking insane.”

“I know, tell me it’s not just me overreacting.”

“I can see why you’re mad.”

“Mad? I’m a little more than mad. He doesn’t even know if the kid is his. He thought it was, he’s all into the kid, and then on the plane this other guy said he was the real father.”

“That’s so sad.”

“It’s messed up.” I moved back to the balcony, seeking solace in the waves.

“Poor Collin. Imagine thinking you’re a parent, and loving the kid, then finding out it isn’t yours. I don’t know what I’d do. Talk about a mind fuck.”

“There’s more going on. Something neither of them said out loud on the plane.”

“Well did you ask him what it was?”

“No. I was too angry.” I took a moment to consider what Marla said, as best I could through my fuzzy, drunken head.

“I’ve gotta go.”

“Don’t you dare, I’m not done talking logic into you yet.”

“Shut up with your logic, I’ve been drinking.”

“No shit, I can tell you’ve been drinking. You’re also not being fair.”

“I called you to side with me. I knew I should’ve called Abbie.”

Marla laughed, not even attempting to hide her contempt for Abbie. “You know, your behavior is exactly what I’d expect from Abbie.”

“Yeah, because your relationship with Trent isn’t dysfunctional at all.”

“My relationship with Trent is fanfuckingtastic.” What’s got her in such a good lovey-dovey mood?

“I gotta go, bye.”

“Don’t you dare…” I ended the call.

All the little bottles from the mini bar were empty. I considered phoning down for more before deciding bed was a better idea.

Despite the amount of alcohol I’d drunk, each time I closed my eyes the images of the man proposing on the beach played on a loop in my head. Except it was Collin doing the proposing, sometimes to me, sometimes to my lookalike.

Each time he proposed to me, my heart raced and my entire body came alive with joy. Each time he proposed to my lookalike, I went numb, I was just another bystander.

And it’s all my fault. I turned my back on Collin. The situation with his dead wife, son and Blake had to be ripping him apart. And I blanked him when he needed my support the most. I am a first rate schmuck.

He’d never forgive me. I’d never forgive me.