Dirty Billions: A Bad Boy Billionaire Romance: (A Chicago Suits Second Chance Romance) (15 page)

W
atching Jenny disappear
behind that elevator door was like a knife slicing across my chest.

She hated me, and I didn’t blame her. I lied to her when she asked me why I stopped drinking. She had every right to know about Raylene and Harlan, of course she did.

There was no point in trying to shield her from the crap in my life once things got serious. I fucked up, I should’ve told her the second we decided we were in a relationship again.

I should’ve told her before, so she could decide if she wanted to be in a relationship with me at all.

At the time I thought it was too big a risk, that she’d reject me until I got my situation sorted out. Now she’s rejecting me forever, and I don’t blame her.

The silver Audi A9 pulled through the gates and onto the grounds of my east facing property on the beach. Resembling a Spanish villa, the house sprawled across the center of the grounds, the middle section a full three stories.

I opened the door and strode through the entrance hall and around the house until I located Harlan and the nanny. I found them in the playroom, a room packed full of everything a baby could ever need and more. The massive, gurgly smile on Harlan’s face as he was played with a dump truck melted my heart.

Just seeing him took away some of the numbness I’d been engulfed in since seeing that door close on Jenny.

“Dada,” he said when I entered the room. For a moment everything faded away, Raylene’s death, Blake’s claims, even Jenny, and I felt whole again as I scooped Harlan into my arms.

He was the reason I straightened myself out. If it wasn’t for Harlan, I wouldn’t have had second chance with Jenny. I’d do anything for him and right now, giving him the best possible life is what matters.

But I could no longer ignore what Blake said on the plane. How long had he had a relationship with Raylene?

“Liv, did Raylene have a boyfriend, a great big guy?”

“I’m not sure, she had so many men here all the time with all the parties. I tried to stay out of the way.”

“Thanks,” I said, disappointed. “I have to make an confidential phone call, but I’ll be back soon to play trucks,” I told Harlan, kissing his soft head.

I set Harlan back on the floor and put his trucks in front of him. If there was ever a moment I wish I could freeze in time, this was it. The moment Harlan fully became part of my life.

Except now I might not. Not if Blake’s words were true and Harlan wasn’t my son after all. The possibility wrenched my gut. As I entered my study nauseousness overcame me and I had to sit and lean forward on my desk until it passed.

“Hey,” Daniel said into the phone.

“You’re not going to believe what Blake told me.”

“Try me. He already phoned me.”

“Fuck. What do you think?”

“I don’t know what to think. He said Raylene planned it from the start and he went along with it.”

“What do you mean from the start?”

“According to him, whenever you were really drunk you’d hit on her, calling her Jenny. When she found out she was pregnant, she thought she’d get herself a nice life by saying you were the father.”

The news was like a cannonball to my stomach. I leaned on the desk again, nauseous.

Think, did I sleep with her before she told me about the pregnancy? Sorting through the vague half memories, I could see myself and her in the Honolulu club after hours. I remember grabbing her ass behind the bar, kissing her against a wall. That happened several times. But did it go further? I’m convinced it did.

“We need to find out for sure.”

“Blake’s already demanded a DNA test.”

“This is a fucking joke. You’re telling me having another man take full parental rights over his son was fine and dandy for him? And now all of a sudden he wants the kid? He’s full of shit.”

“We’ll find out, relax, I’m sure Harlan’s yours.”

“How long is it going to take?”

“With your money? Twelve hours, maybe less. Seriously, relax about this, I’m sure Harlan’s yours and we’ll prove it. I’m arranging it now, someone will come get your sample in the morning.”

Daniel had made me feel marginally less worried over Blake’s claim. But not about the photos. I raided the house, searching through all of Raylene’s things. My efforts yielded nothing. Where would she keep the photos? She didn’t have the the knowledge of computers to be smart enough to stick them online, unless she’d posted them to her instagram.

After giving up on finding them under her dresser, I sat back on my heels, my breath heavy. Think. She wasn’t the brightest, but I had to look everywhere. I jogged down the stairs two at a time and opened the safe in my office. And there it was, a memory stick in plain sight.

I shoved it in my computer and sure enough, photos of several of my high profile, famous VIPs doing things they shouldn’t be doing.

The photos coming out would ruin my relationship with them, and threaten to dry up my bread and butter overnight because they wouldn’t trust they had privacy.

Blake had better realize the photos coming out would hurt him directly. It just meant I couldn’t fire him. And I really fucking wanted to fire him.

I went back to the playroom and spent an hour playing trucks and reading board books. The entire time my mind churned with both Blake and Jenny. The two people who destroyed my world today.

Jenny hates me and I don’t blame her one bit. What kind of guy springs the news of a wife and child on someone on the plane on the way to see that child?

Why did I think I could bring Jenny here and she’d waltz right in and be a wife and mother?

She hadn’t responded to any of my texts, turning the knife in my chest each time. Is this how she felt when I stopped answering her emails? What a prick I’d been. Both then and now.

Liv came and got Harlan for his dinner. Alone, I retreated to my study and poured myself two fingers of 25 year old Glenmorangie single malt. I grasped the glass, staring into the amber liquid. Did I really want to go here again? To go back to what I was before I had a son and a girlfriend?

I lifted the glass to my face, inhaling the peaty scent. Not today, I walked into the nearby cloakroom and dumped the liquid down the sink.

Needing to deal with the stress and heartache somehow, I changed into my trunks and dove into my free form pool. I sank to the bottom and sat on the floor of the pool. The distorted sights and sounds of the world deadened my nerves. As long as I was down here, the rest of the world could go to fucking hell.

I surfaced for air and gulped in another big breath before sinking again. If I lost Harlan, it would be through no fault of my own. But I had to make this up to Jenny, somehow. I couldn’t lose her through my own stupidity.

A
world class
pounding head and queasy stomach woke me in the morning. Desperate for relief, I rolled over and buried my head in the pillow. Did they do room service for Advil?

Except no amount of Advil, or Tylenol or Aleve would fix the pain in my heart.

Being with Collin again made me feel complete. Like I didn’t waste the last seven years of my life, because he was worth waiting for.

He was worth waiting for. And I treated him so badly he’d never forgive me. He’s probably thinking about what a horrible person I am for ditching him in his hour of need. I feel like the most horrible person on the planet.

I dragged myself into the shower and turned it up as hot as I could bear. The steam helped alleviate the pounding in my head but it didn’t ease the pain in my heart.

The waitstaff hustled around the breakfast room, gathering up the remains of the buffet that closed at ten when I walked in at one minute past. I rushed to the coffee urn and poured myself two cups. On the way to a table I even managed to grab a danish off a tray being taken away.

Energized by the caffeine, I headed out on Waikiki beach. The azure water and sweeping white sand was as close to paradise as I’d ever been. But my insides felt the complete opposite as they festered in a wretched sense of hell.

I waded through the noisy crowd of sunbathers, trying my best to ignore all the happy couples and families that made up the hoards.

A little girl, perhaps aged three or four, in a Little Mermaid swimsuit ran in front of me chasing a beach ball, and I had to dodge her, touching her flowing hair in the process. The contact with her sent a twinge of pain rushing from my hand to my heart.

My heart speeding and my head numb, I remembered the excited look on Collin’s face when he showed me the photos of Harlan. Whatever else was going on in his life, it was clear he’s an adoring father that only wants the best for his son.

He changed his entire lifestyle for his son. He would do anything for his baby, what more could you ask for in a good father?

A tear escaped my eye and I wiped it away. The one thing I wanted most was in my grasp, and I shoved it away.

I gained no happiness from being here. Not one ounce of joy. I had to get home, to my bed and hide under my comforter.

Back in my room, my heart sank as I scrolled through flights to Chicago on my phone. It’s crazy expensive flying at such short notice. The cost of same day flights was outrageous. I settled on a slightly less overpriced one for tomorrow evening. It’d be a big dent to my savings but worth it to try and dull some of the pain and self loathing.

My phone rang.

“Hi mom.”

“Hi sweetie, I’m just phoning to see if everything is okay, you didn’t call yesterday.” Damn, I phone her every day. I can’t believe I forgot yesterday. Stupid mini bar.

“Sorry mom, I was in the air. Collin’s taken me to Hawaii.”

“How romantic, I’m so excited for you two.”

This is not the conversation I want to be having with her right now. I don’t want her to know how badly I’ve fucked up. And I definitely don’t want her to know how terribly I’ve treated Collin. She’d be so ashamed of me. Especially after how quickly he jumped in to help my mom in our time of need.

“So, how are you feeling?”

“Wonderful, I’m feeling so amazing. And your father is looking so trim after all of Colleen’s healthy cooking.”

“That’s great, I can’t wait to see you guys again.”

“What are your plans today? Relaxing on the beach together?”

“We had a fight,” I said, my voice quiet.

“Oh no, I don’t like the sound of your voice. What happened?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“No? Sometimes it helps.” I didn’t have much choice in lying, she’d be able to tell I wasn’t telling the truth.

“I treated him badly, and I’m so ashamed of myself. But there’s nothing I can do now, what’s done is done.”

“So go talk to him, apologize, he’ll forgive you.”

“No, he won’t. My behavior was unforgivable.” I choked back tears.

“Few things in love are unforgivable, sweetie.” She wouldn’t say that if she knew what I’d done. I’d never forgive myself.

We continued our conversation, but I had to get her to keep repeating what she’d said. I could not take my mind off what an awful person I am. Or how stupid I am. I had the man I’d always wanted back in my life, the man I knew no other could live up to.

I’d sealed my fate. The rest of my life would be empty and meaningless and I’d never be fulfilled. I would end up marrying a snake man from the internet.

“
D
ada
, dada!” Harlan squealed.

I woke with a crick in my neck and a cramp in my leg. Somehow I’d managed to curl my body enough to sleep on the small sofa in Harlan’s room. I didn’t want to be any further away from him that I had to be.

Would today be the day I lose him? I couldn’t bear to think about it.

“Morning big man.” I walked to the crib and scooped Harlan into my arms.

His dark curls framed his face, his big brown eyes bright with the excitement of a new day. I ran my finger along his cheeks.

“Beep.” Harlan giggled when I pushed in his nose. A laugh I could listen to all day.

After a light knock, Liv came in.

“I’ll take him and get him ready.” She put her arms out and he twisted his little body, reaching out to her.

My first instinct was to keep him and get him ready myself, but felt ashamed when I realized I didn’t know what getting him ready entailed.

“Thanks Liv. I’m going to shower.”

As the water pounded off me, I stretched out my neck and leg, trying to recover from my cramped sleep.

Today we would find out the real father. Another thing I tried not to think about. Effectively selling her child for a big payout is exactly the sort of thing I would expect Raylene to do. As much as I wanted to believe Blake was full of shit, I know her too well, this was something she would do.

But my right hand man doing this to me? Betraying me? Using me for money? It was yet another twisting knife in my back.

I squirted the shampoo that happened to be in the shower in my hand, and a blast of coconut hit my nose. Jenny. As I lathered up my hair, my body hollowed out to absorb the pain.

How would I get her back? Was there anything I could do to get her to forgive me? There must be some way. A thousand options rolled through my mind as I finished my shower.

* * *

I
threw
on a pair of navy shorts and a blue, loose fitting t-shirt. In the kitchen, I made a large pot of coffee and bit into a banana.

Liv appeared with Harlan just as the doorbell rang. I took Harlan from her and she went to answer the door.

“Want some banana, big guy?”

Harlan grabbed at my banana as I held it to his mouth. His eyes widened and a big grin spread across his face, melting my heart. He took a bite, squishing the fruit in his mouth. I grabbed a paper towel and wiped away the mushy bits that escaped his lips.

“What will I do if they take me from you?” I asked him. He smiled up at me with an open mouthed squeal, revealing the mushed banana still in his mouth.

“This man has come for a test sample,” Liv said entering the room. It sounded more like a question than a statement. A man in a cheap suit carrying a leather satchel followed her in.

“Yes, hi.” I extended my hand to him.

“Mr O’keefe, nice to meet you, I’m Barry.” He transferred his satchel to his left hand and we shook.

“Here, I’ll take Harlan and get out of your way,” Liv said, putting her hands in Harlan’s armpits. I held tight to Harlan.

“We need him, I’ll keep him.” Her brow creased and her mouth fell to the point where I thought it would actually open.

“Oh, okay. I’ll get out of your way then.”

“This won’t take a minute,” Barry said to Liv. She stayed frozen on her spot.

Harlan took another bite of banana as Barry opened his satchel and pulled out two long tubes. He unscrewed the lid of one and pulled it off, revealing a cotton swab attached to the lid.

“Open,” he said to me. I opened my mouth and he ran the swab around my cheek for far too long. “That’s it, you’re done.” He screwed the lid back on the long tube.

“That’s it?”

“Yep. Now for the baby.” Barry looked at Harlan and his lip snarled in disgust. “I’ll need a clean mouth, can you get rid of the banana in it?”

Liv jumped into action, striding to the sink and wetting a cloth. She stuck her index finger into the cloth and stuck her tongue out at Harlan. His squeal of delight pierced the air, a sound that eased some of the pain inside me.

His laughter soon turned to tears as Liv put her finger in his mouth and washed away the banana. I bounced him in my arms but his crying continued.

“Don’t worry big guy, it’s okay, it’s all okay,” I said into his ear.

Barry placed the swab in Harlan’s mouth and rubbed it over the inside of his cheek. Though it didn’t seem possible, the volume of Harlan’s crying increased and his face turned red.

“How long does this take?” I asked.

“I have to make sure I have a good sample, especially since he just had food in his mouth.”

“Make it quick.” I had to raise my voice to be heard over Harlan’s screaming.

“Yes, sir. I’ll be fast as I can.”

Barry finally took the swab away, and I grabbed the cloth from Liv and wiped the tears and snot from Harlan’s face. The tears and screaming continued, and I swung Harlan in the air, dangling and bouncing him over my head.

He’s tears turned to laughter and I shook my head, I wish I could turn Jenny’s tears to laughter as easily.

“You wanna go for a swim, big guy?”

“Here, I’ll take him and get his swimsuit on,” Liv said, extending her arms to him. This time I let her take him.

As soon as she’d left the room, I asked Barry, “How long until you’ll have the results?” I leaned against the quartz countertop of the island.

“Tomorrow afternoon, most likely.”

“I don’t want to wait that long, I want them today.”

“I’ll have to speak to my boss.”

“Tell your boss I have to have the results today. I won’t take no for an answer. My lawyer Daniel will sort out all the costs.” I stood straight and took a step toward him as I said it.

“Yes, sir, I’ll let him know.”

“Great.”

Barry followed me as I walked him to the door, craning his neck to look in the various rooms we passed on the way. The door snapped shut under the weight of my hand.

In need of more coffee, I turned back to the kitchen and pulled my phone out of my pocket. I had to make some calls.