Authors: Ashley Bartlett
We tried to watch TV, but the news kept mentioning me and that was weird. I gave up and went to bed. Which just gave me time to stare at the ceiling and think. Not a good idea. But it was better than sitting between two dudes who wanted to kill me. I heard Bobby go into his room around eleven. Sal waited until Alexis came back before going to bed as well.
I tried to sleep, but that’s a hard thing to do when there are people waiting to kill you. It seemed that Alexis had killed a number of people her uncle did not tell her to kill. Why would I be any different?
That was the lovely thought I fell asleep to.
*
The next morning, I fell out of bed and pulled my jeans back on. I remembered at the last second to grab my phone and pocket it. Wouldn’t want to forget my wire.
Bobby had retrieved my backpack from Vito’s. But I hadn’t packed much so I only had one more clean T-shirt. I wasn’t going to waste it when this one only had half a day and a night on it. I wasn’t too concerned with appearances.
There was coffee brewed downstairs. After opening every cabinet in the kitchen, I found the mugs. Fortified against everything except bullets, I went to find my keepers. Or guards. Or saviors. I wasn’t sure yet.
Bobby and Sal were playing Xbox. Cards were so passé. They barely acknowledged me, which I was fine with.
“Am I allowed to go out in the backyard?”
Bobby grunted.
“Keep the door open so we can hear you. And don’t let the neighbors see you. So no looking over the fence or anything,” Sal said.
I saluted them with my coffee and went out back.
It was nice out. Warm, not hot. Kind of sticky, but I didn’t mind it. I’d grown up in dry, hot heat. Sacramento was like that. So humidity was a novelty to me instead of straight up annoying.
I wondered where Alexis was. Only briefly. Then I realized that if she wasn’t giving me shit or beating the crap out of me, I was happy. Of course, the more she gave me shit, the easier it would be to piss her off and make her slip. If I could just get her to say something stupid, then I could get the fuck out of here. Go home, wherever that was. I’d never have to see these assholes again. Except maybe in court. That would be ideal. Actually, it would be ideal if they all just killed each other.
The only good thing this family had ever done was make Reese and Ryan. I’d thought once that the twins were my salvation. Maybe they were. In a weird, codependent sort of way. But like a healthy codependence. It was a little sad that the don never realized that the twins could save him too. Carry on a legacy that wasn’t built on hatred and fear.
That was his legacy. Alexis, in her depravity, was exactly the legacy he had created. Maybe that would be his undoing. If you build your life, your world on tradition, at some point all you’re left with is a dying regime. Alexis had changed the game, expanded it, but her foundation was crumbling. It didn’t matter how much she updated it. Something, somewhere was going to break.
I realized then, in that sunny moment on the porch of a mob safe house, that I had to win. Not just for my safety or that of the people I loved, but because the DiGiovannis needed to be taken down. Maybe some new crime family would take their place. I couldn’t control that. But this was something I could control. Maybe they would kill me. Maybe I’d be a footnote in Ogilvy’s case file. But I would do everything I could to change the outcome of this contest. Simply because it was the right thing to do.
Ryan would probably knock up some girl. Maybe one day I would knock up Reese. And maybe my actions would make this world a safer place for them to grown up in. All I had to do was survive the next week.
A door inside slammed. I knew somehow that it was Alexis. She stopped and spoke with Sal and Bobby. I could hear their voices, but I couldn’t really hear what they were saying. I didn’t give a fuck either. I just drank my coffee and enjoyed the sunshine.
I wondered where Reese and Ryan were. Probably in that same hotel room driving each other and all the Feds crazy. Thinking about them must have made me reach for my necklace because, when Alexis stormed outside, she found me dragging the charm back and forth across the chain. She stared at the necklace and looked like she might hurl. For a devious bitch, she was surprisingly bad at hiding certain reactions.
“I thought you should know that you’ll be out of here in two days,” she said.
“Okay.”
“Shouldn’t you be happy?”
I shrugged. “I find very little to be happy about.”
Alexis rolled her eyes. “He was a useless little shit. Let it go.” My hands started to shake. I tried to hide the tremble, but she saw it. “Oh God. Why did you even like him? He was a pansy ass stoner. He didn’t have a single redeeming quality.”
“Fuck you.” I stood to go inside.
“What’s the matter, Cooper? Don’t like hearing about how pathetic your little friends were?” She was trying to piss me off. Hell, if she wanted to pick a fight I was cool with that.
I spun back to face her. “They weren’t just my friends. They were my family. They were my whole fucking world.”
Alexis laughed. “What a sad little world. Trust me. You did us all a favor. The only thing you could have done better was kill Reese too.”
I was suddenly furious. “Shut the fuck up. I don’t want to hear any more of your shit.”
“Maybe I should just do you a favor and kill Reese myself.”
I bitch-slapped her. Hard. I’d like to say I wasn’t proud of slapping Alexis. Violence wouldn’t solve my problems. But it was one of the most satisfying things I’d ever done.
In an instant, Sal had me locked in an iron grip. I didn’t know where he had come from, or how he had gotten there so fast. I decided not to fight his hold. Wouldn’t get me anywhere.
Alexis stared at me with something icy and terrifying in her gaze. Every inch of me was suddenly very, very cold. She slid close to me. I started to squirm in Sal’s grip. I didn’t know what was coming, but I knew it was bad. Alexis twined her fingers into my hair and yanked until my ear was pressed to her lips.
I expected to her whisper. She didn’t. She didn’t yell either. I think she just wanted to touch me as she delivered her threat. As if forced intimacy would make it more threatening. It did. “You pull that shit again and I will kill your precious Reese.” With every sentence, she tugged on my hair. “I’ll get off on it.” I tilted my head to take off the pressure. “I’ll track her down and watch her die.” She pulled hard enough to bring tears to my eyes. “Just like I did to her mother.”
I was suddenly filled with a sort of pure happiness. Followed by utter panic. Alexis had just told me she was a murder. Would that be enough to put her away? Was she making shit up just to get to me? Would I live to testify?
I didn’t know.
Almost as an afterthought, I realized that Alexis had killed Carissa. That the warm, vibrant woman who had taught me to swim, and played endless games of hide-and-seek, and given me hugs when I fell was deliberately taken by the fucker standing in front of me.
All of my quips and clever threats escaped me. I felt such emptiness that I couldn’t breathe. I went completely slack. Sal let go of me and I crumpled to the ground. They left me like that.
*
Bobby got takeout for lunch. I couldn’t eat. I didn’t try. I just sat outside, wishing I could run away. When I had enough, would the Feds pull me? Why hadn’t they done so already? Maybe Alexis’s confession hadn’t been enough. Maybe there wasn’t evidence to back it up. Maybe someone else had killed Carissa. Maybe no one was even monitoring my wire.
That night I couldn’t sleep either. But when I finally crashed, I crashed hard. Blissful, dark sleep. That was probably why I didn’t notice Alexis coming into my room. It wasn’t until the next morning that I realized that something was off. Literally.
I rolled over, sat up. And something was missing. A slight weight on my chest. Its comfort had followed me from Vegas to Spain. My hand went to my throat, as if the act of reaching for it might bring it back. It didn’t. The necklace was gone. I didn’t know how she had managed to get it off me while I was sleeping, but I knew Alexis had taken it. Why would Sal or Bobby have any use for it, any need? But Alexis required a trophy of some sort. A tie to her family. A severing of my own tie to her family.
But that St. Christopher was mine. And I was getting it back. I was so pissed about what she took, I didn’t even think about what else she might have done.
I ran downstairs. “Alexis!” No response. “Alexis, where the fuck are you?”
“She went out.” Sal met me at the bottom of the stairs.
“Get her back here. Now.”
“She’ll be back,” he said.
“Now, God damn it.”
“Sorry.” He walked away.
I realized I didn’t have my phone. Or pants. So I booked it back to my room. I punched in Vito’s number with one hand and pulled on my jeans with the other.
“Hello?”
“It’s me.”
“Why are you calling me?” he asked. At least he recognized my voice.
“Alexis took my St. Christopher. I want it back. Fucking now.”
“Why would she do that?”
“You really want me to speculate on that?” I asked.
“No. I’ll make some calls. Stay there.” And he hung up.
He sounded pissed. It was probably stupid to call him. But he was my best chance. And I was getting that necklace back.
Alexis was a stupid motherfucker.
*
It was late when Vito finally showed up. Well past dark. He was alone.
“Come with me,” was all he said.
I didn’t hesitate. Just grabbed my jacket and followed him. Probably shouldn’t have. If a mobster orders you to do something, do the opposite. Also, run.
The car ride was oppressively silent. We didn’t go to Alexis’s house like I expected. We ended up somewhere downtown. It was Thursday night. Warm enough and close enough to the weekend to be busy. People were out. Going to dinner. Hitting the clubs. I remembered being one of those people. Simple, in a way. Unencumbered. I didn’t want the weight I now carried. Like some sort of grotesque interpretation of adulthood.
Instead, I was here. With Vito. Wearing two wires and praying that this time, this conversation, would be enough to put him away, would be enough to keep the twins and me safe.
Vito pulled into a parking garage and drove to the top floor. It was empty. Except for two cars filled with Alexis and Vito’s guys. Bad sign.
“Uhh, Vito, what the hell is going on? Why are Lorenzo, T, and Georgie here? And why did Bobby and Sal and Alexis meet us? Why didn’t they all just go to the safe house?”
I didn’t need to list off all their names. And I had a decent idea of why we were there. I wasn’t going to live through this night. Unless the Feds were listening to my list and following my GPS. They needed to haul ass, because no one else was coming to save me.
Vito didn’t answer me. Instead, he carefully pulled the car in next to the others so they formed a loose triangle. They thought I was going to run. They were right. I tried to open the door before Vito stopped, but the locks were engaged. We stopped. Bobby waited until Vito popped the lock and opened my door. He hauled me out with an iron grip on my arm.
“What the fuck, man? Let me go,” I shouted. Where the fuck were the Feds?
Bobby put his hand over my mouth and held tight. Georgie yanked my jacket down my arm. Bobby pulled me back against his chest so I couldn’t get away while Georgie worked the jacket off my other arm. I squirmed and twisted and kicked, but Bobby was bigger than me. Way bigger. Alexis sauntered over and patted down my pockets. She took out my cell phone and handed it to Georgie. He walked to the edge of the building and tossed the jacket and phone over the chest high cement wall. Bobby let me go.
“What the fuck?” I shoved Alexis out of the way and ran to the edge. I planted my hands and hauled myself up to look over. The wires were gone. Five useless stories below me. “God fucking damn it. Why the fuck did you do that?” I shouted. There were people down there. Maybe they could help me. “Help. Please I’m being—” I was going to say kidnapped. It felt dramatic, but it was true. I didn’t get to finish though because Bobby and Georgie grabbed me and pulled me from the ledge. Bobby clapped his hand back over my mouth. They carried me back to cars and set me down.
“You walked into my house with a wire,” Vito said.
“What the fuck did you expect me to do?” I asked.
Vito punched me. In the stomach. I doubled over. Shit. I’d been here before. It wasn’t pretty. But maybe if I took the beating, it would give the Feds time to show up and arrest their asses.
“You stupid bitch.” Alexis.
The second I straightened, she punched me in the face. Right below my eye. My cheek got warm. It was going to swell. Or was it? Would they execute me before I had a chance to show the evidence of this beating?
“We need to move this,” Vito said.
Alexis nodded. She and Sal climbed into one car. Bobby picked me up and shoved me in Vito’s trunk. I started screaming. He closed the trunk. It was dark. I heard car doors slam and engines start up. I stopped screaming.
I was going to die tonight. I felt around the trunk, but there was nothing in there. No weapons. Not a damn thing. Vito probably had experience transporting people in the trunk of his car. He probably knew to empty it when he was planning on putting in a body. Or at least the live ones.
So I did the logical thing. I started screaming again and kicking, punching, beating on the top of the trunk. Maybe someone would hear me. Maybe they wouldn’t.
After what felt like a really long time, but was probably only ten minutes, I stopped yelling. My throat was raw. My hands hurt. More bruises that would never come to fruition. I started to cry. This was not what I wanted. I’d never really had a plan for my life, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to live it.
I remembered that last summer before Reese and Ryan and I left home. I wanted ten more of those summers. No, forty more. I wanted camping trips. And beer and darts. I wanted that feeling back where I looked at Reese and my stomach dropped. I wanted to return to the airport in Sacramento and tell Reese to get back on that plane and graduate from Yale. I wanted nights of six-hour movie marathons with Ryan. I wanted to dance with Austin and have him mock me. I wanted to be Derek’s wingman. I wanted to play football with Carson. I wanted all of the meaningless things we did to fill time. All of the silly entertainments that make a community. Our group was small and it was arbitrary, a collection of kids who didn’t quite fit in with the other first graders, but it was ours.
I missed my mommy and daddy. I still kind of wanted to slap my little sister, but I also wanted to hug her. Hold her tight and tell her that this wasn’t her fault. I was going to die tonight, and she would carry that forever. Are there support groups for that? Sending your sister to the grave. Would Mom and Dad forgive her? Would they forgive themselves? My grandparents were going to have to attend my funeral. No grandparent should bury their grandchild.
More than anything, I wanted to tell Reese I was sorry. I wanted to give her a lifetime. And all I’d offered was a year and a half. I should have told her in second grade that I was madly in love with her. I should have told her in twelfth grade that I wanted to grow old with her. I should have given her a decent proposal. Had I showed her that I loved her? I’d tried to show her. I had never told her. I’d told Ryan I loved him. I’d told Ryan I loved Reese. But I’d never actually told her that I loved her. I wanted to so bad and now I never would.
I wanted it all back and it was gone.
The tears ran down my face and collected in my ears. Snot ran down the back of my throat. I coughed and choked.
Was this how I would die? Sobbing over my own demise? Shot in the back of the head by a thug? Reese would have to identify that body. That faceless sack of meat.
No. Fuck that. I wasn’t done yet. I was going to get out of this. And if I couldn’t, I would die trying. I wouldn’t die waiting and dreading a bullet.
I turned onto my side to do a second survey of the trunk’s interior. A pressure eased from the center of my back. That was when I remembered the spare tire. In most trunks they were under the mat. I felt along where I’d been laying. There was a small ring. I scooted back as far as I could and pulled up. The mat was attached to a piece of board. From where I was, I couldn’t reach around it to get to the juicy insides. So I kicked the board. It jerked out of my hands. I pulled it back up and tried again. After about twelve kicks, it started to bend. With some effort, I managed to get it folded down a bit. Just enough to reach over it. There was a spare tire. I could feel a toolbox of sorts beneath it. I had to get to that toolbox. But no matter what I did, I couldn’t lift out the tire. Not from this angle. I just didn’t have the leverage.
The road we were driving on got bumpy. Like it hadn’t been paved in a while. It probably wasn’t noticeable while driving, but from the trunk, it was very apparent. I gave the tire one last-ditch effort and failed. The car stopped and the engine turned off.
There was a series of car doors slamming before the trunk was opened. I heard Vito’s rumbling voice, but couldn’t understand what he was saying. I couldn’t see him because I was barricaded behind the now bent floorboard. The board was jerked down. Two hands reached in to grab me. I kicked out and connected with an arm.
“Fucking bitch,” Bobby yelled.
He reached in again and I kicked again. My kick pinned his hand against the edge of the trunk. He screamed and yanked it out. The third time he tried someone else was ready. When I kicked at Bobby, two hands grabbed my leg and pulled. It was Georgie. Lorenzo reached in and grabbed my other leg. Then Bobby took my arms and pulled me out. Bobby threw me on the ground and kicked me in the side. I started to retch, but held it in. They waited for me to get up. I got onto my hands and knees, spit a little, and looked around.