Discovering Dalton (Manchester Menage Collection #2) (29 page)

Chapter
31

L
iam spent three hours working out some of his anger with his sparring partner in the local boxing ring, but it hadn't helped, and finally, after wearing out his friend, he turned to the punching bag, wrists aching, knuckles pulverised, body caked in sweat.

Any other time Liam would be spent and ready to call it a day, but not that day. No, this was the day after he and Dalton agreed to end their fling. They’d stay friends, but who were they kidding? It wouldn’t happen. Liam would be lucky if Dalton turned up and renewed next year’s gym subscription.

Never fuck around with a client. The one big rule he’d broken. That seemed small compared to the bigger issue playing on Liam’s mind, though, the issue which he’d only realised as Dalton gave his little speech about meeting someone. Had he been so arrogant and confident, he thought no matter what happened, Dalton would be with him? How had he been so stupid and why had he let things go so far?

Liam wasn’t ready for the type of pain which cut through him when Dalton said he’d met someone else. Even just remembering it seared through him like a big knife straight to the chest. Liam couldn’t breathe, and it wasn’t caused by his constant punches to the bag, it was caused by his heart hurting in his chest.

He loved Dalton. There, he’d said it. He fucking loved him.

Liam was so mad, mad at himself and everything else in the world. He shouldn’t have fallen in love. That didn’t happen. When did it happen? Liam laid in bed all night, staring blankly into the darkness, knowing it had always been there, but he’d denied it for so long and for so many different reasons it was hard to say when he’d developed such strong feelings for his beautiful blond.

As soon as he’d seen the guy four months ago, it had been there. Not love, okay, Liam wasn’t some fluffy puppy lover who fell in love at the drop of a hat, but there was something which held his interest, and through the months where they’d worked closely together, that grew into something more. More than admiration and respect, more than the need to just be with him to help him work out. Liam just needed to be with him. He’d missed him, wondered about him when they were apart, daydreamed about him. Then that shower shit happened and his world got spun around again. He had a chance, and he grabbed hold of it, but not tightly enough.

Now Dalton had met someone else, and that person was another man. The anger built up again and Liam punched the bag all wrong and too hard, his wrist screaming at him to stop. Knowing he could injure himself, he stopped, huffing and puffing, bending over and trying to still his mind and just breathe.

He’d been stupid to let Dalton go. How could he just drop him off and watch as Dalton closed the door to his house? No matter how hard Liam told his legs to move, to walk to that door and grab hold of Dalton and kiss him, say how he felt, what would he accomplish?

Dalton connected to this new guy in a few hours and in a way he didn’t with Liam. Liam was the one hurting and Dalton was the one walking off into the sunset with this fucking prick who Liam hated more than any other person in the world.

Liam didn’t give a shit about who he was, but he was sure as shit going to find out because Dalton needed someone who would treat him like their whole world and give him the type of love he deserved. Liam was positive he could have done that, but then he was also positive he would hurt him too, and not just him, but Troy.

Fuck! Liam slumped to the floor and breathed hard. How could he give up Dalton for Troy? Why did it have to be like this? How long would they continue this ridiculous dance and why did he not listen to Troy when he told him to find someone?

Was he that afraid to lose Troy he would give up Dalton? The answer was yes, because that’s what had happened. He’d given up Dalton, and okay, not just because of Troy, but because of his own inability to see a life without Troy beside him.

They were symbiotic. They couldn’t live without the other, and despite how they tried, this was it. They were stuck with each other. He had no idea what to do about it.

The tipping point had come and fucking gone, and there they were. Liam growled as he stood up, hands fisted by his sides and his need to beat the living daylights out of something returning.

He’d been so mad the past two days he’d kept out of Troy’s way, and the idea of going back and meeting him while he was still so wound up just couldn’t happen. Liam was going to be like a bear with a sore head for a long period of time, and Troy would suffer the brunt of it. Liam wasn’t going to tell him just how much this was hurting, or why. He wanted to sulk in his room and come out when he felt more like himself.

After a shower and checking the time, Liam decided eight was late enough to go home and go to bed without Troy bothering him, so he headed home on the bike, parking it up in the garage and storming to the loft. Troy wasn’t even there. The place was in darkness and Liam huffed. It had to be a new guy. That wound him up even more and he punched the wall, his fist going straight through the plasterboard and leaving a nice big hole there when he pulled it out.

Troy would attempt another soon-to-be-failed relationship and there Liam was hurting over giving up Dalton just to save Troy’s feelings. Something about the whole situation was wrong, and maybe it was time for it to end. Something had to change, and Liam sat in the dark, pondering how it could happen.

He loved Troy. The parallels of how he felt for Troy compared to Dalton were what Liam looked for. He’d never experienced love like he felt for Dalton, and therefore all his love for Troy over the years had been brushed into the ‘he’s my brother and I love him’ category, and there, as Liam sat in a stunned, painful silence, another realisation hit him. He didn’t just love Troy, he was
in
love with him.

He was in love with Troy. In love with his foster brother. His best friend. The only person he called family anymore. He was in love with him. He had been for a long time, and although Liam couldn’t pinpoint when it happened, it didn’t change the fact at all.

So, he loved two men and had none.

How had that smart little miracle happened, and how could he sort it out? Having both was out of the question, so it was time to talk to his
brother
and get things out into the open. He needed to know if Troy felt the same way as he did, and if not, then it was a fucked up, one way thing and Liam was out of there.

This was ending. It had to.

If it didn’t, then Liam would be the one who was clinging onto Troy because of his one way feelings. Feelings he didn’t know were there until now, but there it was, and all those failed relationships Troy suffered through could be down to Liam. It could be
his
fault and nothing to do with Troy.

Liam had been pushing men away and pulling Troy back, comforting him when they were gone and all in some sort of selfish, sadistic way to keep him close and alone. Well, Liam loved him and he was done hurting him, so they either agreed this was more, or they agreed it was one fucked up situation and Liam would leave, hopefully convincing Dalton to be with him and not the new guy.

Liam laid his head back, a headache like he’d never experienced before clouding his brain. Love was supposed to be this wonderful experience, but all it brought him was pain so far. He didn’t want it to continue, he wanted to flick a switch and have it all go away, but he wasn’t one for running and he was ready to stand his ground and sort it out.

He had a conversation that had to happen with Troy, and Liam planned on doing it as soon as he walked through the door.

Chapter
32

D
alton winced as Troy wiped down his arm. The top of it was now fully coloured and looking gorgeous, if not a bit red. Troy had been right about the colours hurting more than the outline. The circular motion and the constant stinging as he coloured in several shades over the same spot took the enjoyment out of the session. Dalton closed his eyes and just got on with it. Usually they spoke, but not much conversation had passed between them.

Troy was working on the very first outline he’d done of the Koi’s head, and now it was all bright blue, muted pinks and yellows. He’d done a fantastic job, and Dalton would be proud to show it off.

So far, he’d not mentioned to anyone about getting it done. He was sure when he said how big it was and how much he was spending on it, people would freak out, thinking he was having a further mental breakdown, but this was the only thing he was one hundred percent on in his life. Everything else was confused and shifting around his brain like he was on a merry go round.

“You okay?” Troy ran his hand over Dalton’s head, and he smiled up at him as Troy stood.

“I'm fine, just stinging. It was just sore before, but it’s worse now.”

“We got a good couple of hours work done on you. We have to wait for the outline on the others to heal a bit before I colour those in but I can start on the outline for the orchid. It’s not a race though, so take your time. You’ve been here a lot.”

“I'm impatient to see this finished and I miss you.”

“You don’t have to be here to see me.” Troy passed him a can of cola and smiled. “Not that I don’t love our little sessions.”

“We eat out after.” Dalton stood up, stretching out his legs.

Troy took hold of his hand, leaning up and placing a feather light kiss on his lips. Dalton wanted him in his arms so much it hurt, but Troy stepped back, waving a bottle of the healing gel in his hand and pointing to the chair. “After care is important.”

“I know.” Dalton sat back down, letting Troy carefully spread the gel over his tender skin, wincing several times as he did it.

“Talk to me. Tell me what’s on your mind.”

It had been two days since Dalton last spoke to Liam. He thought it would feel like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, but instead, he felt worse. “I'm just tired from all the packing up at my dad’s place. It’s been emotional.” That wasn’t a lie, it wasn’t the truth either, but Troy hugged him and Dalton melted into his arms. “I'm sorry I'm so… I'm not the best company, and I understand I'm… If this is too difficult for you—”

“It’s not.” Troy was the only person in Dalton’s life who he could talk to, and although Dalton wanted to be with him, the need to be elsewhere was also there.

He missed Liam, and knowing they wouldn’t be the same, they wouldn’t have the closeness or the type of friendship they used to have was difficult.

“Tell me his name.” Troy tilted Dalton’s face, those big green eyes, so deep and understanding, melted his walls and Dalton sighed. “I’ve seen that look before too many times to recall, Dalton. Just tell me if I should be running, because how you feel right now, I don’t want to feel in the near future because you’ve gone back to him.”

“It’s not what you think. You know I've not been seeing anyone, it’s just a friend. A good friend, someone who… He’s the guy who started this whole new life changing experience for me. He’s the one I told you about.”

“Right. So, what happened?” Troy sat on his stool, looking up at Dalton as he leaned against the wall.

“It was just casual, not my thing, but I had no idea what to do, and just went with it. It was all new, and he was… he’s…”

“Hot?”

“Yeah, he's hot.” Dalton frowned at himself and Troy smiled softly. “That’s not what attracted me to him, it was everything else. He was there for me through all this. I turned to him when I couldn’t go to anyone else and he cared for me.”

Troy folded his arms across his chest and nodded. “By caring, you mean sexual stuff or just talks?”

Dalton shrugged. “It started off with talking.”

“So, why was it a fuck buddy thing in the first place if you don’t do that sort of thing?”

“He doesn’t have relationships. He was truthful about that. I was… he wanted to be my first.” Dalton smirked recalling how turned on they’d both been when Liam growled out those words. “I wanted that too, but then I wasn’t ready for more and everything seemed okay to explore those feelings with him, but I'm not that type of person and when I met you, when we connected, it felt wrong to see you both.” He held up his hands and smiled. “I don’t want to add pressure onto you, this is just how I felt. I felt like I was cheating on you both, and the last thing I ever wanted was to hurt either of you. I know this between us isn’t anywhere near sorted out, and I'm not sure how you feel about me and my outdated ideas of dating, but it didn’t feel right.”

Troy stood up, hovering close to him before leaning and kissing Dalton, winding his arms around his waist and sighing when they parted. Every kiss with Troy was an experience Dalton couldn’t get enough of. He wanted to climb inside his skin and be part of him. “Do you regret it? Ending things with him, I mean?”

“I regret I've lost a friend.”

“Why have you lost him if he was up for this fuck buddy thing? Surely if he’s playing the field, you can still be in touch?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what to think right now. I sent him texts, checking up on him, but he’s ignored them. I called in to see him at work, but he wasn’t there. I don’t know if I've caused him to disappear or if it’s just a coincidence.”

“Is there something else between you?”

“Like what?”

“Dalton, you care for him. A lot.”

Dalton sighed, stepping from Troy’s arms and looking at his feet. “I care, of course I care, and he said it was returned, but he didn’t want a relationship.”

“Did you?” Troy’s voice was a little higher and Dalton turned back, catching the hesitation and hurt in those expressive eyes.

“Hey.” He took Troy into his arms and held him. “I went to him because of what I want from us. Yeah, I care, and if he’d wanted to try and we hadn't met… I’m with you.”

“I don’t want to be your second choice, Dalton.”

“You're not. You're no one’s second choice. You're want what I want, and we may not be there yet, but we both want that to grow between us. I wanted to try, Troy. I wanted to see if what we feel when we’re together can become what I think it can. I'm not made of stone. I care about him because we had a close relationship. I just… I owe him a lot.”

“He didn’t want you like me. I know men like him, Dalton. Fuck, I
live
with one.” Troy chuckled softly. “I have first-hand experience in this and I know players. He was up front about it, which means something, and maybe the guy’s not a complete prick, but come on, he’s not moping at home without you. He's probably out, making up for lost time by fucking something shiny he picked up on Canal Street. Don’t waste your energy on him. Sure, be friends if that can work out, but I don’t think you should trust his intentions where you're concerned, Dalton.”

“You don’t know him. If you did… He's a good guy, Troy. I know you’ve had shitty times with men, but he’s not one of them. He was… he was a friend and I respect him.”

Troy stepped back, this time glaring into his eyes, studying him. “Maybe you should be with him.” He spun around, attempting to walk off, but Dalton grabbed his arm.

“I'm with you.”

“No.” Troy shook his hold off and stepped into the hallway. “You’ve not been here all night, Dalton. You’ve been with him, in there.” He tapped Dalton’s chest with his fingertip and Dalton took hold of his hand and squeezed. “I'm not ready for all this hurt. I don’t want it, and I'm not willing to keep thinking of more with you when you're in love with someone else.”

“I’m not in love.” Dalton’s mouth snapped shut. “I'm not. I never said… I'm
not
in love. That’s not love. What we had, it wasn’t love, Troy.”

Troy leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. “Why is nothing in my life ever simple?”

“The simple things are never what we really want.” Dalton caressed his cheek, kissing those succulent lips, teasing them both with a slow, sensual embrace. “How I want you, how I need you, I shouldn’t feel like this so quickly, but, Troy, there's something between us. I know there is, and I'm here, asking you to give me a chance. I know I'm not an easy case, I know I have issues and this is bad timing for us both, but I'm
right here
with you, and I'm ready to be whatever you need me to be and give you anything you want. All I'm asking for is a chance to see if this could work out. Just one chance.”

Troy met his gaze, green eyes hazy, chest rising and falling too fast. “Dalton, things with me, they never work out. I don’t know why, maybe in time you'll see, and if you do, tell me what it is before you leave, huh? That way I know for later.” He grinned at Dalton. “I want to try. You know I do. I'm holding off so much with you. I always move too fast and I don’t want that to happen with us, but it’s fucking difficult.”

“You think I don’t share those feelings?”

“You care for this other guy, Dalton, I don’t know if you realise just how much you care for him, but if we try this out, I don’t want you and him to be too close. You know, not at first, not until things have settled down between us and I have some trust there. I don’t just mean you, I’d need to trust him too. I'm not okay with sharing and I'm not okay with him using you.”

“He didn’t use me.” Dalton huffed. “Look, I'm good with easing off for a bit. Obviously he needs this space and I guess I should try to keep some distance while everything settles down. I want you to trust me, and I’ll earn that trust in time, but he’s a friend, and I'd like to keep him in my life. I know you don’t trust me, or probably anyone right now, but I swear you will do.”

“That will be a first. There’s only one person I trust left on this earth, and Dalton… He’s gonna hate you.”

“I’ll win him around.” Dalton kissed Troy again, and then grinned. “Besides, isn’t it what
you
want which is important in life?” Dalton was still peed off about Liam’s foster brother. He chose someone else’s happiness over any Dalton and Liam could have found, and it cut Dalton deep in his chest. “I’ll show him how much I'm going to look after you.”

“You think I need looking after, blondie?”

“What I do know without question, is I
want
to look after you, Troy.”