Divide and Conquest (Grimm's Reapers Book 4) (5 page)

Canada is cold.  Alaska is even worse.  I had the heat cranked up the highest it’d go, but that was useless.  My man nipples were freezing as we rolled into Nome, one step closer to our final destination (spooky huh?).  It was late afternoon, but because of it being winter time, it was already dark outside.  We needed to find someone who could help us and quick.

My first thoughts were to the docks, as we needed to cross the icy sea between Alaska and Russia, but my last experience on a boat wasn’t pleasant.  If the Almighty was watching over us, I was hoping for a better way to Russia than by boat.  So instead, I took my little coalition downtown, towards the bar scene.

Little known fact about Alaska – there was a lot of booze.  Bars were excellent places to dig up dirt, as alcohol made people loosen up and if anything slipped, well they wouldn’t remember it the next morning either.  It didn’t take long to find one that I thought would meet our requirements; The Bering Sea Bar.  The sign also said it had good food.

Jacar, being shirtless, kinda stuck out.  “Buddy, if you’re going to come with us, you need to dress a bit more like a local.”

He appraised himself.  “What is wrong with being proud of one’s physique?”

“Nothing at all.” Roxanne was looking at him like a fat kid looks at a cheeseburger.  “Shut up Derrick and let the man show off.”

He was everything I wasn’t and more.  Was there a bit of jealousy?  You’re damn right there was.  But I was also trying to be sensible.  “The locals will notice us even more if we have Heracles walking around like that.  At least put a coat on.”

“I don’t have one to wear.”

Of course he didn’t.  Looking at the window, every Tom, Dick, and Harry had a jacket but our buff Pride demon didn’t.  Then a plan hit me.  “Roxanne, go seduce one of those guys into giving you his jacket.”

“Why is it when you need something done you want me to use sex?”

“Because it works?”

There was no arguing logic.  She left the car and sauntered over to a pack of guys.  It was like watching a pitcher throw a masterpiece.  Within minutes, one overly eager one handed his coat to her and she gave him a kiss on the cheek.

When she returned, she thrust the coat back to Jacar.  “That was like taking candy from a baby.”

With that obstacle cleared, we were ready to go into the bar.  The patronage here seemed a bit rough and tumble, definitely fishermen by the smell, but they didn’t cause a stir when the three of us walked in.  I walked up to the bar and took a seat.  A grizzled man came up to take our orders.  “Whatcha drinkin’?”

“I’ll have a tall boy, the lady would like a rum and coke, and as for the other guy, he’s buying his own.”

Jacar ordered a tall beer as well, which sent the barkeep on his way.  I scouted the place, looking for someone who might be useful.  You know the town idiots no one believes?  They tend to be the ones really telling the truth.  It didn’t take me long to find one.

Over in the corner was a small guy surrounded by three larger dudes.  I’m not sure what started it, but the bigger guys were pushing him around.  He had that kinda look to him, mousey and a little weird.  He certainly didn’t fit into the ideal fishermen that flocked to a harsh environment like Alaska.

When the barkeep sat my beer down, “Who’s the little guy in the corner getting shit?”

“That’d be Jenkins, Billy Jenkins.  He ain’t right in the head if ya catch my drift.”  I did, just like I said.  “The Massey brothers always give him shit about the tales he tells about the Bering Sea.”

Interesting.  “Anything good?”

He let out a grunt.  “Only if ya like bullshit topped with fucking more bullshit.  He never saw half the stuff he claims.”

I thought I’d be the one to decide that.  “Roxanne, Jacar, I think Billy could use our help.  You guys in?”

Roxanne was sipping her drink like a lady.  It’s been determined that was a lie.  “I’m wearing seven hundred dollar pumps.  I don’t think so.”

“Jacar?”

He slammed down the empty glass.  “This brew is excellent!  I’d like another!”  His words were already starting to slur, fucking wonderful.

Well, in times like this, a man has to do what a man has to do.  I got up and walked over to the corner.  I tapped the nearest brother on the shoulder.  I didn’t get a death vision, so I guess he wasn’t dying tonight.  Big and ugly turned around and looked down at me.  “What do you want punk?”

His two brothers stopped heckling the small man and waited expectedly for my response.  “I’d like to talk to Mr. Jenkins if you don’t mind?  We have some business to attend to.”

“Wait your turn.”  He pushed me in the chest.  Big mistake.

I grabbed his hand and flipped him hard to the wooden floor below.  Before his dumbass brothers could do anything, my foot was placed firmly on his windpipe.  “Everyone’s going to stay calm okay?”

The entire bar was looking my way, that is except for Roxanne and Jacar.  One was playing a game on my cellphone and the other was slurping down more beer like a pig.  I looked down to the rapidly bluing face of the Massey brother.  “We’re going to play a game; it’s called you run for your life.  I’m going to let you go and you’re going to run for your life, understand?”

He choked out a gasped that sounded strangely like a yes.  I lifted my foot and he scrambled to his feet.  The three brothers looked at me one last time before leaving the bar in a big hurry.  “Well that went better than expected.”

The little man who I just saved from torment and humiliation didn’t seem all that thankful.  “Who are you and what do you want?”

“Hold your horses there fella, I just helped you out and that’s how you’re going to say thank you?”

His ungrateful attitude didn’t change.  “I was fine.  They do that to me all the time.”

As much as I wanted to punch him in the face, he may have information I need.  So I sat down and leaned in.  “Listen, my name’s Derrick and I might be the only person in this place that’ll listen to the stories you have to tell.”  The resentment turned to curiosity.  “Me and my friends need to get to Russia, but we really can’t do it the traditional way, if you follow me.”

“Are you fugitives, on the run from the law?”

“Billy, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

He looked over at Roxanne and Jacar.  When he came back to me, something new danced across his face.  “Are you one of them?”

Now what the fuck was he talking about?  “One of them?  Who’s them?”

It was his turn to get all hushed on me.  “I had a dream a few nights ago that visitors from another planet were among us.”  Oh great, I’d found a genuine nut job.  “It would make sense, as someone of your size shouldn’t have been able to flip Ted Massey like that.”

He thought we were aliens?  Almighty help me, I didn’t have time for this.  “We’re not aliens you nimrod.”  My voice got a bit loud, but no one really cared.  I bet this was a common occurrence.  “Can you help me or not?”

“Possibly, but I doubt you’ll believe me when I tell you what your option is.”

At this point, he was probably right.  “It can’t be any crazier than thinking I’m an alien.”

“Only an alien would be so against me finding out the truth.”  I rolled my eyes.  “Your best option is the ice bridge.  It’s a magical bridge that opens the gateway to all the realms.  And Russia I think.”

The barkeep, along with half the bar (including Roxanne and Jacar) all began to chuckle.  I guess noise does travel well in this place.  Well fuck me good.  “You’re not high by chance are you?”

“It’s…,” grunting, “been…,” more grunting, “too...,” nail scratching, “fucking long!”  Roxanne was in the midst of an orgasm, a really big orgasm.  Her hips were going a million miles an hour, slamming down on my like a jackhammer.

I couldn’t have agreed more.  The wonderful feeling of her going up and down on me was euphoric.  My eyes started to roll back in my head and I was preparing for my own moment of bliss.

A hand slapped me across the face.  “Don’t you fucking cum yet!”  She moaned and tightened up on me.  “OHHH… I’m not done with you yet!”

Before you ask if we should be fornicating right now, we had time to kill.  Billy Jenkins told us to meet him outside the city at two in the morning to prove to us the ice bridge was very much real.  So Jacar stayed in the bar, drinking all sorts of weird beers with moose labels and Roxanne and I found a hotel to do dirty things in.  Everybody won.

She stopped moving just as I was about to empty my payload into the receiving dock.  Almighty she looked hot, still wearing her skirt but her breasts had flopped up.  Her heels were rubbing against me legs the entire time.  How was a guy not supposed to lose it?

Sliding off me, “I want you to fuck me good, not me fuck you.  Make me your bitch master.”  She got off the bed and leaned over, offering herself to me.

I was so caught up in the moment that I didn’t even respond.  Running over, I entered her and began grinding at a fever pitch.  For added effect, I pulled on her hair – something I knew she really liked.  That did the trick as between the hair tug and the fast paced pounding; she was about to orgasm again.  As jerky as it sounds, I didn’t really care.  I was about to have mine finally.

Boy did I!  All my energy was sapped into her and when I finished, I hung back there like a dead fish.  “Holy shitake mushrooms,” needed a second to catch my breath, “that was fantastic.”

Standing up, which caused me to move, “That is was Derrick.  In hindsight, a girl shouldn’t need to beg to be taken care of.”

“We’ve been busy!  I promise that if we weren’t facing another apocalypse,” which apparently were a dime a dozen these days, “you would’ve been getting fucked every day.  Twice a day even.”

A coy smile was the return of our little exchange and she walked into the bathroom.  We had about two hours before we met Loony Tune, so I kicked back on the bed and turned on the TV.  Due to advances in satellite television, I had a decent number of options and settled on an old sitcom about best friends who constantly ended up having sex with each other.  What a fucking hamster cage…

I must’ve dozed off because Roxanne gently woke me up.  “We best get going if we’re going to meet this guy on time.”

“Ughhh, why did I agree to this?”  She tossed me the car keys and I slid on my heavy jacket.  “I guess our first stop will be back to the bar to pick up Jacar.  I wonder what kinda tab he ran up.”

When we got there, Roxanne took the intoxicated Pride demon to Khloros while I settled up with the new bartender, Wyatt.  When he placed the bill in front of me, I almost shit my pants.  “Seven hundred and eighty dollars?  How the hell did he do that?”

“Considerin’ he bought most of the drinks these kind people are currently drinkin’,” he waved his hand towards the crowd enjoying everything from bottles to top shelf, “I’d say yer lucky the bill wasn’t higher.”

My credit card didn’t think I was lucky.  I was at least generous and gave the man a good tip.  It wasn’t his fault Jacar was a moron, a broke moron at that.  On the plus side, the crowd did cheer me when I left.  I did take a moment to soak that in.  Another job well done Death old chap!

Khloros was being insufferable when I got back into the driver’s seat.  “Not only does he stink of brimstone, but he threw up all over my back wheel.  Get this foul creature out of my backseat.”

“I understand,” Roxanne was trying to be soothing, it wasn’t working.  “We need him though, drunk or not.  I promise to make this up to you if I can.”

“Considering your evil vagina magic does not work on me, I do not know how you will repay me for this insolence!”  Did he just say evil vagina magic?

It was time for me to step in, because we really needed to go.  “Listen, Khloros, you need to chill (I’m here all week folks, try the veal!) and remember why we’re here.”  I did smell Jacar and boy did he make me nauseous.  “Besides, once we get to the outskirts, we can throw him in a snowbank or something.”

My best friend grudgingly went along with that plan, but only if he was the one to toss Jacar into said snow bank.  I agreed because I’m that kinda guy and we were off.  It took close to twenty minutes, but we arrived at the spot Billy told us too.  It was an isolated beach area right outside of Nome.  We’d gotten there first and Khloros found a huge snow drift to park beside.  The back door opened on its own and Jacar was sent flying into the fluffy white mountain of snow.  It was rather amusing.

By the time he climbed out and pitched a fit about being treated so terribly, the local nutcase arrived.  He was driving a snow machine and came right out of the wooded area to our left.  Was that foil around his helmet?  No wait, it was a colander.  I didn’t even want to ask.

He approached quickly.  “I’m glad you’re here on time, the ice bridge forms only at certain times.  This is one of the few instances I can accurately predict its arrival.”

Shaking my head at his ramblings, “It’d better show up or I’m going to dunk you into the sea.”

Maybe I’m not as threatening as I once was, or maybe this guy really thought I was an alien.  Either way, he didn’t seem worried at all.  He led us down to the edge of the sea where the wind was really starting to pick up.  A quick glance at my watch said it was two minutes after two.  “When does the bridge show up?”

“Patience.”

That was something in short supply.  I was cold, damp, and quite annoyed.  Honestly, in all of my millennia on this Earth, I should’ve known better than to chase some old tale about ice bridges and… “Whoa.”

It materialized out of thin air, a translucent sheet of ice that went out into the sea.  It was clear, yet looked remarkably strong.  Roxanne and Jacar were equally taken aback.

We walked down to the bridge and I took a test step on it.  “This thing’s solid.”

Jenkins seemed pleased with himself.  “I told you there’d be no problems.  But you must hurry if you wish to cross it.”

“Two questions, how long is this bridge and how much time do we have?”

He pulled out a little notebook that appeared to be very weather beaten.  He flipped a few pages.  “The bridge should be about seventy to eighty miles long, based on the distance between us and Russia.”  Turning another page, “By my best guess, you have approximately eighty-two minutes.  That’s the longest it’s ever stayed visible.”

We were wasting time then.  I had a lot of questions, but between confronting my son and saving Conquest, I’d have to go on faith here.  “Khloros, get down here.  We’ve got to get a move on it.”

Billy’s face was priceless when our car turned into a horse.  The big grey stallion just walked right by him and on to the bridge.  Our nutty human minion gasped and pointed a few times, but nothing intellectual came out.  Jacar, Roxanne, and I joined him up on the icy path.

Looking down, “Sorry I called you a nimrod buddy.”

He hollered back.  “Before you go, can you at least tell me who you are?”

“I’m the Horsemen Death, but you can just call me Derrick.”

****

“They are on their way Lady Sabrina.”

The captain of this platoon, William I believe his name was, had done his job well.  “Excellent work my follower.  Are the rest of your knights in position?”

I could almost hear him salute me.  “Yes they are.  The Order of Ruin will not fail again.”

It matter to me little if they did or did not.  Why Jacoby was so obsessed with having humans follow him was beyond me, but it made him happy.  “Very well.  If the Kraken does not kill them while on the bridge, your platoon will engage once they are in Siberia.”  The Kraken was a temperamental creature, so we needed to prepare if it decided to slumber in the ocean rather than attack.  I was unsure of the effects cold water would have on the beast.

“What about Sir Ruin?  Should we inform him his father is on the way across the sea?”

I thought about this for a moment.  Death would surely butcher the Knights again, their main purpose was just to slow him down and weaken him if possible.  Balrog was close by too, keeping an eye on them.  “No Captain Jenkins.  My son is needed at his current location.  I will send your knights help though, as a token of your loyalty.”

After he finished his report, I went down to the dungeon to see what array of demon I could send to Russia.  I wanted something horrible just for my slut of a mother.  “Ah ha, you’ll do just nicely.”  With the wave of a hand, a new piece was on the battlefield.