Dominant for the Night (For The Night #7) (9 page)

‘He’ll be devastated,’ I confirmed quietly, with a
nod. He’d confessed how crazy he’d been waiting to hear from me that last time,
when he’d given me the wrong number. Both of us had been so hurt over that mix
up, thinking that the other didn’t want us.

‘Tell me you at least left him a note?’

‘No,’ I whispered, feeling sick with guilt, as I
covered my eyes with my hands.
What had I done?

‘Seriously?’ she sighed. ‘You know this ranks up
there with me fucking Daron Beck, for stupid bloody moves.’

‘You slept with Daron?’ I gasped, momentarily
pulled out of my own drama. My co-star was repulsive. Good looking, but totally
slimy. I was sure he was the reason Lucas hung around set so much in his free
time. Daron had made numerous advances to me in the early days, but none since
the premiere, which was odd. I figured he’d just got the hint that I wasn’t
into him.

‘I was pissed, he was there, it had been a dry
spell, don’t make a big deal out of it.
This
is a big deal though, you
and Lucas. Why didn’t you leave a note?’

‘There was a card and a lily on the kitchen island
next to a breakfast tray and a … and a ring box, I panicked.’

‘He got you a ring?’ she squealed.

‘Stop! Stop getting excited, this is too fast,
it’s too fast for me.’

‘So let him know how you feel. Be honest, tell him
you love him and say the ring’s too soon. Put the phone down and ring him now,
before he wakes up and finds you’re gone, if he hasn’t already. Don’t ruin the
best thing that’s ever happened to you. He’s amazing, Summer. Tell him he’s
amazing and that you’re in love with him.’

‘What if it’s too late?’ I asked, as my stomach
twisted in nervous knots as I fought the nausea battering my senses.

‘You won’t know until you try. I’m putting the
phone down, ring him now. Then ring me back and tell me what happened, ok?’

‘Ok,’ I nodded. ‘Thanks, Mandy.’

‘Yeah, well waking me up at this ungodly hour
needs to come with benefits, so you’d better ring me back with good news.’

‘Give me a while, I need to think about what I’m
going to say to him, if I’m in that place too,’ I replied as I bit my lip. What
was
I going to say to him. ‘Mandy?
Mandy?
Are you still there?’ I
looked down at my phone to see she’d done exactly as she’d said and hung up. I
slapped my phone against my forehead a few times. ‘Stupid, stupid,
stupid
girl, Summer,’ I muttered.

I pulled myself up off the floor. It was make or
break. I either processed my feelings for him and came clean, or we were done,
he’d made that clear. I didn’t want to be forced into saying “I love you” in
return though. If I said it, it needed to be when I was ready, when it felt
right. Saying “I love you” to someone was a big deal and people just threw it
away, like an empty McDonalds wrapper, there were thousands of those lying
discarded. My love wasn’t a piece of worthless trash, my love was precious,
something that shouldn’t be given lightly, and when it was, it needed to be
cherished. I took the opportunity to strip and quickly hop in the shower to
clean up and get changed. I took a deep breath, I had two choices to make. One
was whether I was ready to give away my heart and say those three words, the
other was how I should tell him the outcome, by text, email, phone or in person
if I grabbed a taxi and went back to see him.

Logan

I woke up and could feel my
cheeks aching from over smile. She may not have told me that she loved me, we
may not have had the official talk, the one where she told me that she was
mine, that we were a couple officially, but she’d not fled after I’d shown her
the type of sex I liked to have from time to time. That had been the moment I’d
been dreading. Having her run from me again, of being myself with her and
having her reject me. My ego, when it came to Summer, was so fragile. Not that
I’d ever admit that to her. It was bad enough that I was in love. Lucas Logan
Steel in love! I never imagined I’d see the day, then again, I think I fell in
love with her the moment I first kissed her, but I’d been too scared to admit
it to myself. Now though I didn’t care, I’d even be prepared to sing it from
the damn rooftops. Dan was going to have a field day with this news, as were my
parents. They were all going to fall in love with her as well, I was sure of it.
Who was I kidding, everyone loved her. What was not to love? I frowned, as I
realised the thing I had my arm around wasn’t Summer. I opened my eyes to find
I was hugging a pillow. I could smell her all over it. I buried my face in it
and breathed deeply. I figured she was in the en-suite or had gone to get
herself a drink, but the smell on my pillow put her right here with me. I
needed to get it bottled, Eau de Summer, to spray on my sheets every time she
was away.

I blew out a deep breath. This was a pretty
momentous day in my life. Was this really it? The morning after sex and I had
no client evaluation to do? I may have met her as a client, but I’d never think
of her as one, I never had. She was too pure, too beautiful a soul. Us being
together was fate, I was sure of it. I’d never been so sure of anything in my
life. She was the woman I was going to marry and have a family with one day.
Maybe three kids. They’d be cute as hell, great looking with both of our genes,
of course. Yes three sounded good, but definitely two at minimum. The thought
of owning her, possessing her from here on out, had all the blood flow to my
cock.
Where the hell was she?
If she thought she was spending anytime
out of my bed today, she’d need to change her plans. I quickly lay back on my
side of the bed, propped up against my pillows, with my hands behind my head,
striking a far more manly pose, one befitting of the macho Lucas Steel, than
the one who sniffed his girlfriend’s pillow and had girly romantic thoughts. I
smiled to myself at the term.
Girlfriend.
It had been six and a bit
years since I’d used the phrase. I hadn’t realised how much I’d missed normal
things. Holding hands in daylight, watching TV together, going on dates in
public, dates that didn’t involve the planning of sex, not having to leave or
kick them out the next morning. I could be spontaneous again. Use my romantic
and sexual skills that I’d learned over the years, to make sure she never
lacked for anything. Sexual skills I’d very much like to put to use now.
Where
the hell was she?

‘Summer?’ I called. I frowned as I didn’t get a
response, flung the duvet back and went to knock on the bathroom door. ‘Angel,
you’d better let me know now if you’re on the toilet, as I know that’s not the
sort of thing you’d want me to see, but I’m worried about you, so I’m going to
be coming in.’ I waited a while before poking my head around the door, but she
wasn’t there. I grabbed a towel and tucked it around my waist, my erect cock
making it a hell of a lot shorter than it was supposed to be. I started growing
more anxious when I didn’t find her in my large open plan kitchen, lounge and
dining area. ‘Summer?’ I yelled, as my muscles started to tense.
Where the
fuck was she?
I checked that the door to the balcony overhanging the canal
was locked, breathing a sigh of relief to find it was. At least that ruled out
some freak accident, though I couldn’t seem to rid myself of this nagging
feeling that something was horribly wrong.

I cocked my head to see if I could hear the
washing machine going, maybe she was doing her knickers, I had made them rather
damp last night. When she wasn’t to be found in the utility, I flung the door
to my spare room open, the one we’d spent most of the night in. My heart sank
to see that her shoes, bra and knickers were gone. I raced back to the lounge
to look for her coat, which she’d thrown on the sofa at the beginning of the
night, but that was gone too.

I sank down onto the sofa in disbelief, as a sharp
pain invaded my chest.
She’d left me?
She’d really left without saying a
damn word? I’d just told her I loved her for God’s sake. I’d never said those
words to anyone, well not since I was a child to my mother, and she’d run from
me? I pinched the top of my nose, salt stinging my eyes. This couldn’t be
happening. She may not love me yet, but she cared for me, I knew she did. Right
now Logan Steele would have a tantrum, thrown his rattle out of the pram, or done
something stupid to make himself feel better, to get over his shattered ego and
wounded pride. But I was
Lucas Steel
now. I’d changed.
She’d changed
me
. There had to be a reasonable explanation and I was going to get it. I’d
break down her fucking door to get it if I had to, no way was I giving up on
us, not after everything we’d been through. I wiped my eyes and strode back to
my bedroom with determination, checking the pillows, the bed and the bedside
tables to see if she’d left a note, disappointed to find there wasn’t one.

I quickly dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, grabbing
my leather jacket as I headed to double check the kitchen island in case she’d
left one there. Nothing. And my note, flower and velvet box containing the key
to my apartment, so she could come as go as she wanted, were still sitting
there untouched, ready to go on the breakfast tray when I woke her up. I ran my
hand over the box containing the key and sighed. I’d even cleared out space in
my wardrobe for her to leave some clothes, a drawer in my bedroom too. That’s
what couples did when they got serious, they made room in each other’s lives
for the other, but she’d run from me. And it hurt like hell.

I pocketed my car keys and looked around for my
phone. It was where I left it last night, on the lamp table next to my
armchair, where I’d sat watching her stripping off her coat. I closed my eyes
and shook my head to get rid of the visual. I was used to playing roles, well
today I was Lucas Steel, Private Investigator. A real life James Bond. I had a
mission, to find out why she’d fled and nothing was going to stop me getting to
the bottom of it. If she thought I’d let her get away from me that easily, she
had another think coming. I picked up my phone and saw that I had an iMessage.
I felt my heart rate spike. If it was her, if she was messaging me to say it
was over, that would kill me. To not even say it to my face? Something like
that should be said in person. Surely I deserved that much? I tapped on it with
a shaking finger, swallowing hard as I saw it was from her.

Lucas, please don’t be mad with me, it’s not
what it looks like. I panicked. You told me that you loved me and I panicked
and ran. I’m so scared of you breaking my heart. I hurt so badly that time we
were apart for a week and we barely knew each other then. We’re further down
the line and you’re confessing your love for me, how would I feel if we took
this further and you broke my heart now? I don’t think I could handle that, so
I ran. I need to talk to you when you wake up, as long as you’re not going to
punish me. I’m feeling emotional and vulnerable, so I don’t want to be punished
today. I know I may deserve it for doing this to you, but I really need to talk
to you. Not by phone. There are things that should only be said face to face
and I’m sorry I didn’t have the courage to try to be honest with you before I
ran out on you. I contemplated coming to you, but in case you wouldn’t hear me
out, I couldn’t face the humiliation of another journey home with David, while
I was in floods of tears again. I’m at home and I’ll be on tenterhooks waiting
to hear from you. Don’t make
me
run out of oxygen this time Lucas Steel.
Summer x

I read the message a few times, my heart cantering
in my chest. What was she trying to say? I couldn’t work out if she was telling
me that she needed to see me tell me it was over, even though technically we
weren’t an item yet, or if she was telling me, without saying the actual words,
that she was in love with me and terrified of it. When I’d asked her out she’d
had a panic attack and had told me that she needed time to think it over. That
time it had been me that told her not to make me run out of oxygen, as I waited
for her answer.
Was that what this was?
She was having a panic attack
again and just needed some space to work it through? There was a link at the
bottom of the message to a song, which I clicked. I played it once and had to
sit down in my armchair as my legs gave way, my hands trembled and my mouth
went dry. I sat in a stupefied daze for a while, thinking about what I’d just
heard and relating it to us, as my heart beat like a bass drum against my rib
cage.

I played the track again, just to be one-hundred
per cent sure I’d not misunderstood her message. The song had been edited, so I
could only hear a part of it.

You catch me in your eyes

That beauty on my pillow

That holds me in the night

And I will find my strength to untame my mouth

When I used to be afraid of the words

But with you I've learned just to let it out

Now my heart is ready to burst

'Cause I, I feel like I'm ready for love

And I wanna be your everything and more

And I know every day you say it

But I just want you to be sure

That I'm yours

And if I've been feeling heavy

You take me from the dark

Your arms they keep me steady

So nothing could fall apart

And I will find my strength to untame my mouth

When I used to be afraid of the words

But with you I've learned just to let it out

Now my heart is ready to burst

'Cause I, I feel like I'm ready for love

And I wanna be your everything and more

And I know every day you say it

But I just want you to be sure

That I'm yours

My heart didn’t just shatter into a billion tiny
pieces, it disintegrated, into fine molecules of dust that I’d never be able to
reassemble. I didn’t have a heart anymore, she’d completely desiccated it
without even saying the actual words that I’d longed to hear, with just a
promise of them being on the tip of her tongue, via a love song. And I didn’t
have a single issue with that, I didn’t need my heart anymore anyway, if I
didn’t have her I’d have no further use for it. She’d owned it from that first
kiss, whether she’d wanted it or not, but I was overjoyed to think that it
seemed that she was giving me hers in exchange. I blinked a few times as my
eyes stung with emotion. She was right, those three words needed to be said in
person, even if it wasn’t today, I could wait. For her I’d wait forever. For
now, she was mine regardless.