Don't Label Me! (26 page)

“
We would like to bring some of the
Din across in the first wave too.” Simon made sure to make that
very clear from the start.

Eadaoin didn’t seem in the least surprised
by this. “Yes I understand. Your hybrids and even Polemarch.”

“
More eventually if we can convince
them to take the Goddess’s mercy to clear their karma and merge
their Din oversoul with their host, as the others have done. We
would then treat them with the retrovirus to reactivate their
connection with the whole, heal them and protect them from
Sakla.”

Eadaoin appeared thoughtful as she evaluated
their path forward “I like the minimal amount of confrontation this
plan involves. It doesn’t directly undermine their banking or
business systems and it doesn’t involve us facing down the
considerable might of their military. Let’s face it, he has
influence with most of the countries of the world and can easily
threaten their budgets, blackmailing them into doing his will. He
can undermine their economies or start a civil war in a heartbeat
and they know it. You must know though that once Sakla gets wind of
it he will conspire against you.”

“
It is to be expected but as you say,
we will start with those we trust. With a bit of luck he won’t get
wind of what’s happening beforehand. It may be useful to have a
cover story though. A global prayer day for world peace, timed for
the equinox. That way we’ll have an excuse for any otherwise
unusual looking assemblies of people.”

Eadaoin liked that. “At your sneaky best I
see Simon. Are the other sentient species on board with this
plan.”

“
The Shang definitely. The Delphines,
Arion is going to talk to them. The plan has the endorsement of the
Malakim high council.”

“
And the Translavians?”

Helena cocked her head, curious. “The
who?”

Simon grinned. He’d hold on to his insider
knowledge for a moment longer. Being a seer had to have some
benefits. “Well of course we won’t leave them out but we will have
to tread carefully. We don’t know what their new leader is like
yet. The last bloke just got done by the international court for
justice for ethnic cleansing and other atrocities.”

“
I hear the punishment options weren’t
too palatable.”

“
You might say that. His only option
to continue existing would have been to have been wrapped in silver
chains and welded inside a steel coffin that would have been thrown
down a very deep hole. Death by lethal colloidal silver injection
was an option but he chose plan C.”

“
He chose to fall on a wooden stake?”
Eadaoin asked.

“
Pretty much.” The wooden stake had
been a fixture on the floor of the execution chamber. The convicted
man had been positioned on all fours so that he laid over the
stake, its point against his bare chest. His arms and legs had then
been chained to the floor to stop him getting up. The cruelty of
the punishment was in the excruciating pain the man would suffer as
gravity and the man’s fatigue took over, his body slowly yielding
to the spike until it fully pierced his heart and he disintegrated
into a pile of dust. The guards witnessing this event though had
grown quickly bored and added their body weight to finish the
matter. Then the two guards had vacuumed up the grey dust and gone
home to watch the world cup soccer match they’d been missing out
on. At least that’s what he’d read from the akashic record. He
decided to keep those gory details to himself.

Melissa coughed to interrupt. “Surely we’re
not discussing what I think we are?”

Helena rubbed her chin thoughtfully. Could
the old tales really be true? “Are you saying the ex-Translavian
president was a vampire? But he was seen in public, often in broad
daylight.”

Eadaoin shrugged her shoulders. “Daytime’s
not a problem for vampires, as long as there’s plenty of cloud
cover and they’ve covered any bare skin in heavy duty, SPF 50 sun
cream.”

Melissa laughed nervously. She still
couldn’t believe they’d want to have anything to do with the
notorious creatures of legend. “And you want to let them into this
dimension?”

But Simon did want them. If they were to
bring the whole of the planet into this higher dimension and free
it from Sakla’s tyrannical reign they would need to involve
everyone. Anyone who didn’t come over would be left on a barren
rock of a planet, floating in space. “They’re not all bad you know.
Each sentient species has its own mix of degenerates, highly
enlightened and those in between. But we will need to be cautious.
I’m planning to send an emissary to them soon.”

Helena couldn’t imagine too many humans, or
even Malakim for that matter would want to be around that infamous
lot. “You know someone with an affinity for vampires?”

Simon smirked. “That I do.”

Why was she here again?

You know why Red. Because you’ve realised
you’re capable of reaching a higher potential.

Yeah, just don’t tell the nice therapist
about the voice in my head.

“
Some acquaintances suggested that I
might benefit from some behavioural therapy.” There! Nothing said
about any immortals telling her to get her act together.

“
What made them suggest
that?”

“
Well I tend to be a bit reactive,
overly assertive and in your face which is a bit contradictory
really because at home I’m happy to immerse myself in stuff that
doesn’t require being around other people. I’m not socially
phobic”, she hastened to add.

“
Hmm.” The therapist reached for a
piece of paper and passed it to Phoenix. “How many of the items on
this list would you relate to?”

Phoenix scanned the list and winced. “Um
well...yes I brood on past mistakes and pains, yes I worry about
doing the same mistakes in the future. Do I isolate myself to avoid
distressing situations? Well only outside of work, when I’ve got a
choice about it. Do I do drugs or sex with strangers? Nah, that
sounds pretty self abusive. Do I lash out and get excessively angry
at others or try to control them? Um, that would be a yes but I
hate myself afterwards. Do I take risks or seek out pain as a way
to punish myself? Well, I ride a motorbike but I wouldn’t call
myself particularly reckless. Um, the rest on this on this list is
a step too far. I really wouldn’t intentionally seek to harm myself
although sometimes I think about it when I’ve badly stuffed up or
I’ve hurt someone through one of my rants.”

The therapist nodded, as if it was all
making some sense to her. “And how do you feel about yourself? How
would you rate your self esteem on a scale of one to ten.”

“
Um, it varies. Probably about a four
but sometimes as low as two. So what does all that mean? That list
describes some profile doesn’t it? Does it mean I’m sick or
something?”

“
Not at all. There is no hard and fast
line between mental sickness and health. It’s more of a continuum
that describes your ability to function effectively in the world.
You’re very much in that borderline area of the spectrum. You
obviously have some coping mechanisms because you aren’t into self
harm but I suspect much of your behaviour which concerns others is
an attempt to overcompensate and hide even from yourself your
feelings of inadequacy.

“
It’s not exactly something I’m going
to brag about.”

“
As you shouldn’t. You should protect
yourself from all and sundry knowing your weaknesses but...” The
therapist was obviously pausing for effect. “Wouldn’t you like more
joy and love in your life? Wouldn’t you like to have more
compassion for others and the ability to judge them less harshly,
to refrain from devaluing them in a futile attempt to justify
yourself?”

“
Yeah I guess so although I can’t
really imagine what any of those things might feel
like.”

“
That’s because you probably keep a
tight rein on your emotions, up to the point someone stresses you,
tries to control or manipulate you or highlights something you’re
not good at. Then you lash out. The aftermath of such an explosive
and impulsive emotional release probably leaves you feeling empty
and at the mercy of a side of yourself you don’t like very
much.”

“
So this therapy stuff will help
me?”

“
There’s good reason to think it will.
Statistically it has been proven to be highly useful in cases such
as yours?”

“
Which is what?”

“
No I am not going to label you.
You’ll only use that as another way to devalue yourself in your
self talk. You are you and there is nothing wrong with you. Each of
us is unique and worthwhile. A few skills however could make your
life a whole heap better. We need to train your inner
warrior.”

“
Warrior? Me? I’d run any day rather
than fight.”

“
And yet you fight with your
journalist’s sword.”

Phoenix made a dismissive gesture with her
hands. “Pah, that’s just me.”

“
Yes, it is the core of what you are
but you can be more. Rather than treat what you are as an illness
to be despised wouldn’t you like to harness it for the greater
good? Use it constructively rather than
self-destructively.”

Say yes Red. Do it for me and the other
people in your life if you won’t do it for yourself.

I don’t even really know who you are.

We’ll fix that in time.

Phoenix noticed the therapist was still
waiting for her answer. “Yeah, count me in. Where to from here? Is
there a book or something I can read?”

The therapist laughed. “There are books I
can suggest but books will only give you knowledge and you need
skills. I volunteer my time once a week at the local drug and
alcohol rehabilitation centre training people in these skills. I
know the thought of mixing with others in your free time probably
causes you some discomfort but treat it like a job you would do for
your work. You seem to be able to put on a persona for your career.
Come along as if you were going to do an article about what I’m
doing at the centre, I’d be happy if you did, just respect the
confidentiality of the others there. All I ask is that I get to
approve or change the content of your final article. I’ll expect
you to do more than observe though, you’ll participate like anyone
else there.”

Phoenix mulled it over. “One day a week,
yeah I can do that.”

“
Good. You won’t regret it. While
you’re at it you might also consider getting your genetics done
through one of the online companies that analyse what we call SNPs
or autosomal genes. I think I already know what we’d find but it
might be insightful and help you to come to terms with all you
are.”

“
No problems, I actually know a
geneticist and I think he already has my genome on file. I’ll get
back to you on that. Anything in particular I should ask him
about.”

“
Ask him about the genes that control
a process called methylation. If he’s met you I think he’ll know
what I’m looking for.”

“
But you’re not going to tell
me.”

“
Not till I’m sure you’re ready to
accept yourself in your entirety.”

Roger watched Hideo with keen interest.

Kit pointed out the finer aspects of what he
is doing. “Notice how he is moving her rather than moving around
her as he ties the rope. It gives the both the rigger and their
subject a clear indication of who has the power. For some that is
all the art form is about, another kind of submission. Others
consider it a pure art, showing off the skill of the rigger and the
beauty of the subject. Photographers love it for the poses they can
get from models. But it is more than that.”

“
Like a kind of ‘Zen and the art of
tying someone up’?”

Kit gave him a half glare. “You’re being
flippant but actually you’re exactly right. Would you like to have
a go now with Lewis and I’ll explain as we go?”

Lewis shivered in anticipation but kept his
head down and stayed kneeling in submissive pose until told
otherwise. If not for having met Roger years ago he would never
have learnt to submit in this way. It gave him an absolute release
from decision making that few would understand. It was his deep and
abiding trust of the man that made it possible for him to let go
and hand over his power, a gift he laid in reverence at Roger’s and
now occasionally Sathi’s feet.

Kit brought over a selection of ropes to
show Roger. “For those with more delicate skin we often use silk
but jute has a subtle roughness to it that has its own sensuality,
a raw texture that is kind of primal. You still don’t want anything
in the rope that will scratch or snag so you should always run the
whole length through your fingers first, like this.” She paused to
demonstrate then she bunched some into a handful and gave it to
Roger. “Run that gently over Lewis’s shoulder. See what he thinks
of the feel of it.”

Lewis groaned in pleasure at the feel of the
fibres, the friction they made against his skin.

“
So you like that my
friend.”

“
It’s definitely not as soft as silk
Master but it kind of turns me on.”

“
Well I think we’ll go with that
then.” Roger nodded to Kit.

Kit opened a photo album showing off various
poses and quite ingenious, if not outright mischievous, ways the
knotwork could be used. “First things first, you have to have a
plan about what you want to do and why. Some styles lend themselves
to pure restraint, others substitute for clothing, using a kind of
macrame. Others still place the subject in poses that leave them
open to all kinds of sexual play.”