Don't Look Back (14 page)

“Okay. Where were we?” Marcus asked as he went back on to the grass.

I followed him over. We stepped through several moves and I tried to focus on what he was teaching me and not get distracted by his closeness. We went through the movements slowly, Marcus obviously concerned about my baby.

“Okay,” Marcus said, stepping back. “I want to try something different. I want you to be the aggressor and I’ll be the defender. It’s helpful for you to try out both sides to really get a feel for everything.”

I nodded. “Okay.”

“You step toward me and try to strike me like I did with you before.”

I stepped toward him and swung my right fist upward toward his chin. Since he was a head taller than me, it didn’t feel like I was being effective. As my fist approached his body, he blocked it easily. I tried with my left fist and then with my right again, but he blocked each attempt.

Dropping my arms to my sides in frustration, I watched as he relaxed, probably ready to console me. Without any warning, I swung my closed fist into his stomach. It was like hitting a brick wall. “Ow!” I said, surprised.

He laughed. “Why are you saying ouch? You’re the one who hit me.”

I laughed, too. “I got you though.”

“Yeah, you did. Good job.”

“Not that it did any damage. I don’t know how effective I’d be if I actually had to defend myself.” Even though Trevor wasn’t quite as tall as Marcus, he was in good shape and was certainly stronger than me.

“You just need more practice, Kate. It’s really not about who’s bigger or stronger, but more about knowing the right places to strike.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“I don’t know about you, but I think it’s getting pretty hot out here. I think we should call it good for today.”

“Okay. But I feel like I could use more practice. Do you think we can do this again?”

“Sure. How about tomorrow morning?”

“Yeah, that works,” I said.

We agreed on a time that worked for both of us.

“I promised my mom I would take care of some projects around the house, so I need to get going,” he said.

“Okay. I’ll see you in the morning.”

I watched as he went out through the gate. I had enjoyed our time together and was beginning to feel a little more confident in my ability to defend myself, although I knew I had a long way to go.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Mid-morning the next day Marcus came over. Before we went out to the backyard, I dropped the plastic shield into the dog door to keep Greta inside.

“I’ve been thinking about today’s lesson, Kate. And I think it would be more beneficial to you if we focused on defense. So today I just want you to practice breaking away from me and then disabling me.”

“That sounds good,” I said, following him out back.

He stopped on the porch and turned toward me. “Okay. Let’s do the choke hold.”

Marcus stepped toward me and put his hands around my throat.

“How would you get out of this?” he asked.

I did the moves Steve had taught me in my self-defense class and was able to break out of his grip.

He smiled. “Very good. Do you know how to disable me so that you can get away?”

“Yeah. My self-defense instructor showed me how.”

“Okay. Let’s do it again. Only this time do the moves that would disable me.”

“All right.”

We went through the movements and Marcus seemed pleased with what I could do. We practiced a few more times and I really felt like it was becoming second nature.

“Now let’s  work on what you would do if someone came up behind you and grabbed you,” Marcus said as he walked onto the grass.

I followed him, then turned my back.

“I don’t want you to know exactly when I’m going to attack, but I know you’ll still be expecting it. Of course in real life you won’t be expecting it at all, but I’ll do my best to surprise you.”

My heart pounded as I waited for him to attack. A mixture of fear and anticipation rushed through me. I could feel my adrenaline pumping as I mentally prepared for him to grab me. But I also felt excitement at the prospect of having his arms around me. Day by day, my loneliness had increased and I yearned for the touch of another person. Though Marcus and I had been touching each other through our lessons, they’d all been relatively brief and I had been focused on getting it right. Now that I was feeling more comfortable with the various moves, I was able to think about Marcus’ closeness.

As my mind wandered,  I lost focus on what was about to happen. Marcus must have noticed my body relaxing, because that was when he struck. I gasped in surprise as his arms wrapped tightly around me and my arms were disabled. After about a second, I gathered my wits and reacted, going through the motions I’d learned. In less than five seconds I was free and Marcus was disabled. I hadn’t actually hurt him, but had gone through the motions.

“That was very good, Kate,” he said, grinning.

I smiled back, proud I had done well. “Thanks.”

“Do you want to try it again?”

I agreed and we did it again several times and each time I became more confident.

“I think you’ve got it down,” he said.

“Thanks for teaching me all of this, Marcus.”

“You’ve been a very good student.”

I heard Greta barking. “I think someone wants to join us,” I said. After letting Greta out, I came back and sat next to Marcus, who was sitting on the porch steps.

“You sure have been serious about this whole self-defense thing, Kate. I know you said it’s because you live alone, but are you sure it isn’t because you have some stalker you’re worried about?”

He smiled when he said it, but he didn’t know how true his statement was. I forced a laugh. “Come on now, Marcus. That’s just crazy. Don’t you think it’s just a good idea for women to know how to protect themselves?”

“Oh, absolutely. I was just wondering.”

I got up and grabbed Greta’s ball, then threw it for her. She chased it down and brought it back to me, dropping it at my feet. “So, what else do you have planned today?” I asked as I threw the ball again.

“I just need to finish up the projects I started yesterday. What about you?”

“Run a few errands. Pull weeds. Stuff like that.”

“Sounds like we both have very exciting days planned.”

I laughed. “Well, my life just isn’t very exciting. But I like it that way.”

“Yeah. Keep it simple, right?”

“Yep,” I said as Greta chased after the ball again.

“If you’d like, I can help you pull weeds for a while.”

“Oh. I wasn’t hinting earlier,” I said as I turned toward him. “You don’t have to help. That’s one thing I can do myself.”

“No, I want to help.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” he said, as he stood. “Where do you keep your gardening tools?”

“I’m not that fancy,” I laughed. “I just have a pair of gloves and that bucket over there.” I pointed to a five gallon bucket sitting in a corner of the porch.

“That’ll work.”

“Before we start, let me make us something cold to drink.”

“Okay. While you do that, I’m going to run home and grab a pair of gloves.”

When he left, I went into the kitchen and began making lemonade. As I stirred the yellow liquid, Marcus knocked on the back door.

“Come in,” I said. “I’m almost done.”

He had a funny look on his face.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I’m really sorry, Kate. It looks like I’ll have to help you pull weeds another time. My mom needs me to take care of some things for her.”

“I see how it is,” I joked. “Trying to get out of the hard work.”

“Yeah. Now you’re getting to know the real me,” he said, grinning.

A thought occurred to me. “Did your mom know you were here?”

A quizzical look crossed his face. “Actually, no. And she was kind of mad that she couldn’t find me. I had left my cell phone at home.”

“Well, thanks for offering anyway. I can guarantee there will be weeds to pull the next time you’re in the mood.”

“Okay. See you later, Kate.”

As I sipped my lemonade, I thought about Trish and our recent conversation. Was she now actively trying to keep Marcus from spending time with me?

Chapter Twenty-Five

Over the next two weeks I didn’t hear from Marcus at all. Surprisingly, I didn’t hear from Trevor either, which was nice. I kept busy most mornings working at
Billi’s
boutique and in the afternoons I frequently took long naps.

One afternoon, as I entered my sixteenth week of pregnancy, I woke with a start. At first I wasn’t sure what woke me and I listened carefully, but all I heard was the sound of the air conditioner, which seemed to run constantly. Trish hadn’t been exaggerating when she said how hot it got in the summer.

I closed my eyes, my head on the pillow, and tried to fall back asleep. My eyes shot open as I felt fluttering in my womb. I could feel my baby moving! That’s what had woken me.

“Greta! I felt the baby!”

Greta, who was lying on her pet bed, lifted her head and her tail started wagging.

I placed my hands on my abdomen. I couldn’t feel anything with my hands, but inside I could feel a slight flutter that I was certain was the baby moving. My heart swelled with love as I pictured my little baby moving around inside me. I wondered if it was a boy or a girl. I had an appointment with the doctor later in the week, and then I would make an appointment for my twenty-week ultrasound.

That evening after dinner, as I was relaxing with a book, Marcus stopped by. After not hearing anything from him for the previous two weeks, I was kind of surprised to see him on my front porch.

“Hi, Marcus. How have you been?” I asked, happy to see him. “Come in.”

“Good. Work’s been keeping me busy though,” he said as he followed me into the living room.

“I hope you’re still enjoying your job.” I sat on the couch and Marcus sat near me.

“I am, but it hasn’t been leaving me much free time. I’m a little worried about school in the fall. I’ve signed up for evening classes, but I’m nervous about how I’ll fit in homework.”

I thought about my own fall schedule. I would work in the mornings and attend classes in the afternoons. It would be busy, but at least I only worked part-time. “I’m sure you’ll make it work,” I said.

He smiled. “Are you always so optimistic?”

“I try to be.”

“Kate, the reason I stopped by was to see if you wanted to go to dinner with me on Friday night.”

“Oh.” I wondered what Trish would think about this. I could only assume she didn’t know. But Marcus and I were adults. We could go to dinner if we chose to. “Sure. I’d love to.”

His ever present grin widened. “Awesome. I’ll pick you up about six.”

He stayed a while longer. When he left, the emptiness of my house seemed more apparent than before. But I knew that soon I would have a little one around to keep me busy. I smiled at the thought.

On Friday night, as Marcus and I drove to the restaurant, he told me about his work week. He had asked about my days too, but I didn’t want to talk about my job and I encouraged him to talk about his.

“It looks like I’ll have the opportunity to travel once in a while, which would be really exciting.”

“Sounds like fun. Do you know if you’ll be going anywhere soon?’

“I’ll probably go somewhere next month. It’s not for sure yet though,” he said as he pulled into a parking space.

After he opened the door for me and led me inside, we were taken to a table. After we ordered, there was a lull in the conversation and I decided to ask a question that had been in the back of my mind.

“So, Marcus,” I started.

“Yes, Kate?” he asked, smiling.

“Can I ask you a personal question?”

“I guess so. But I can’t promise I’ll answer.”

“Fair enough.” I paused. “I was just wondering why you don’t have a girlfriend.” When he didn’t respond, I tried to fill the silence. “I mean, you’re a great guy and everything, so I was just wondering.”

“And everything?” he asked, a twinkle in his eyes.

“Now you’re just fishing for compliments.”

“I actually had a girlfriend not too long ago.”

“Had?”

He picked up his water glass and took a drink. “We broke up.”

I nodded, hoping he would give me more information. Since Trish had told me he’d had his heart broken, coupled with the fact that he seemed to like me but had never tried to kiss me, I had become curious about exactly what had happened.

“How long ago was this?” I asked.

“You don’t really want to hear about my boring love life, do you?”

“Actually, I
am
interested.”

“Why?”

Resting my forearms on the table, I leaned forward and spoke softly, forcing Marcus to lean closer to me. “You and I have spent some time together and I think we’ve both enjoyed that time. I don’t know if it’s going to lead anywhere, but I just need to know what kind of a person I’m spending time with.” As I thought about Trevor and the time I had spent with him and then the pain I’d suffered because of him, I felt tears fill my eyes. Annoyed with myself for getting emotional, I looked at my lap and blinked a few times, getting my emotions under control. When I looked back at Marcus, he looked concerned.

“Are you all right, Kate?”

I nodded. “It’s just that I’ve been in a bad relationship and I . . .” I shook my head. “Never mind. It’s none of my business.” As I spoke, I realized how truly scared I was to get close to anyone. When I’d opened my heart to Trevor, he had stomped all over it. I realized now how terrified I was that that would happen again.

“Look, Kate. I don’t really want to get into the details of my past relationships. Suffice it to say that with betrayal comes pain.”

From the way he said it, I could only assume his girlfriend had betrayed him. Obviously that experience had left him wary. I completely understood how he felt. Somehow, knowing he had experienced feelings of betrayal too made me feel closer to him.

“You know, I think we understand each other,” I said, smiling tentatively. “We’ve both been hurt by someone we trusted. It’s hard to get over.”