Don't Read in the Closet volume one (42 page)

CHAPTER 6

Jackson stepped
inside the club door, his ears rebelling against the jumbled
beat,
that
in his opinion, was a sad imitation of music. Looking at the dance
floor packed with churning bodies, it seemed he was the only one who thought
so. He was also pretty sure he was the only one in the entire place wearing a
cowboy hat. But not matching everyone in dress and taste in music was the least
of his problems. How the hell was he going to find Ash?

He decided the
bar was as good a place to start as any. He really hoped he wouldn’t have to
push his way around on the dance floor searching for him. He saw the club had
an upper level, and decided if he didn’t have luck at the bar, he’d try going
up there to see if he could spy him.

Jackson reached
one end of the bar and started down it. A little less than halfway, he spotted
two familiar faces, drummer, Devin Hayes, and guitarist, Jeremy Shimoda.
Jackson moved toward them as quick as he could with people bumping into him and
veering in his way. He kept his eyes locked on them, determined to not lose
them in the crowd.

Jackson reached
them as they were collecting fresh beers. They turned, and he saw the surprise
on both their faces. He decided he wouldn’t bother with niceties since he was
certain they knew why he was there. “Where’s Ash?”

Devin shrugged.
“Damned if I know. This is a big club.”

Jackson gave
him an exasperated look. “Don’t play games. If anyone knows where he is, you
guys do.”

Jeremy spoke
over the music. “I saw him a few minutes ago, but I don’t think you want to see
him right now.”

Jackson turned
his attention to Jeremy. “I know he’s mad at me, but I need to talk to him.”

Devin jumped
into the conversation again. “Yeah, I don’t think him being pissed at you has
anything to do with why you shouldn’t bother him.”

“What do you
mean?” Jackson asked.

“Last I saw, he
wasn’t alone.”

Jackson’s
stomach twisted, his heart clenched. Ash wasn’t alone. He was already working
on getting someone new in his bed. And why not? He hadn’t even gotten to Ash’s
bed. It’s not like his spot was going to get taken away.

Jeremy laid a
hand on Jackson’s shoulder. “He hasn’t done anything yet except dance. But if
he’s sticking to his usual pattern, once he comes off the floor, he doesn’t
hang around long, so you might want to haul ass. He was by the restrooms when I
saw him.”

“Thanks,”
Jackson said, turning at the same moment to find the restrooms. He spotted a
blue neon sign on one wall indicating where they were and rushed toward it.

He stopped
outside the restrooms, looking left and right, his eyes quickly scanning faces.
Even knowing the general area where Ash should be, with all the people crammed
around, it seemed an impossible task to find him. He found himself wishing Ash
still had his yellow and red mohawk. No way
he could
miss him with that.

Wondering if
Ash was in the restroom, Jackson started toward it. Out the corner of his eye,
he caught a glimpse of Ash’s profile, Ash smiling as he put his arm around the
shoulders of young man and steered him toward the club’s exit. Jackson froze,
the hurt at seeing Ash getting ready to leave with the guy made it so he
couldn’t move, could hardly breathe.

The crowd
shifted around Ash. Jackson lost sight of him, and it spurred him to move. He
shouldered between bodies, ignoring the angry protests and glares. He spotted
Ash again. The guy with Ash pressed in closer to him and kissed his cheek.

Desperate,
Jackson found his voice. “Ash!”

Ash stopped and
turned, but not toward him. He faced the other guy, looking as though he was
about to return the kiss.

Jackson rushed
a few steps forward. “Ashton!”

Ash snapped his
head around, his gaze locking with Jackson’s.

Jackson pushed
through the crowd, finally reaching him. He flicked his gaze to the guy beside
Ash, and while Ash didn’t bother to hide his surprise, the guy didn’t worry
about hiding his annoyance as he stood glaring at Jackson.

“What are you
doing here?” Ash asked.

Jackson brought
his gaze back to Ash. “Looking for you.” His voiced shifted to a sharper tone
as he looked at the guy again. “You don’t waste much time, do you?”

Holding a beer
bottle in one hand, Ash placed his other on his hip. “I didn’t realize there
was something I was supposed to be saving my time for.”

The sting of
Ash’s words silenced Jackson. It seemed since he’d met Ash in person, he’d made
mistake after mistake, said one wrong thing after another, and at this moment,
he’d surpassed all of them together. He wanted to turn away, leave the club,
and pretend none of this ever happened. But even more, as he looked at Ash
before him, his dark hair perfectly styled, his blue eyes shadowed in make-up,
dressed in a tight black shirt and black leather pants, he wanted to pull Ash
into his arms. He wanted to lie down with Ash on top of him and feel what he
did earlier that day when they were together; warmth, passion, affection. He
felt trapped. Not wanting to walk away, but not sure if he was welcomed to move
forward.

The young guy
let out a loud, derisive snort. “Well, since bumpkin boy doesn’t seem to have
anything else to say, let’s get out of here.”

“Hey!” Ash
snapped. “Watch it. He’s a friend.”

The guy wrapped
his arms around Ash’s waist, bringing his lips close to him. “Sorry, I didn’t
know. But let’s still get out of here.” His voice lowered, but Jackson still
heard him. “I want you to do what you said you would, fuck me until I’m
screaming your name as I come.”

Ash lowered his
head and turned it away from the guy, and also from Jackson.

Jackson dropped
his gaze, feeling as though Ash had moved beyond his reach, even though he still
stood so close.

The guy took
Ash’s hand, giving it a tug. “Let’s go.”

Ash stood
still.

Jackson waited,
his heart pounding, not wanting to see Ash walk away from him.

Slowly, Ash
pulled his hand from the other guy’s. He stepped forward to Jackson’s side, not
looking back at the guy as he spoke to him. “Go ahead and take off. I’m hanging
with him tonight.”

Letting out a
loud huff, the guy whirled away. “Fine. I don’t even like your music, anyway.”

His back to the
retreating young man, Ash flung up both hands in disbelief. “Are you freakin’
kidding me? You know, with the shit people say, it really doesn’t pay to be
famous.”

A smile slipped
onto Jackson’s lips. Ash had chosen him. He looked at him, meeting Ash’s gaze
direct and unwavering.

Ash shook his
head at him. “Look at you, all smiles and so proud of yourself for scaring him
away.”

“I hate to
break it to you, but you’re smiling, too. And I think you’re the one who scared
him off.”

“Yeah, I guess
I was.” Ash laid his hand on Jackson’s back. “Come on. I’ll buy you a beer.”

“I was kind of
hoping we could talk.”

Ash sighed.
“Since we’ve been hanging out, you’re always saying that. Why don’t you ever
come to me and say, ‘I was kind of hoping we could fuck’?”

“Well, I was
thinking of trying to work my way around to that.”

Ash stepped
close to him, his chest nearly touching Jackson’s. He leaned toward Jackson’s
ear, his voice deepening to a sensual timbre. “Instead of trying to work your
way around to it, just say it.”

Jackson wet his
lips. His breathing came quicker. All he had to do was say what he wanted.

Ash started to
pull back. “I guess you don’t want to, after all.”

Jackson grabbed
Ash’s arm, stopping him from drawing away. He looked into Ash’s eyes. “I
do
want to.”

“You want to
what?”

Jackson glared
at him. Obviously, Ash wasn’t going to make this easy on him, as the smirk on
Ash’s lips further revealed. Paybacks for him being an ass earlier that day, he
supposed. Jackson dipped his head toward Ash’s ear. “I want you to fuck me.”

Ash’s smirk
broadened. “Not bad. But how would you like me to do it?”

Jackson’s voice
lowered to a growl. “I’m not going to start talking dirty in the middle of the
goddamn dance floor. Get me alone, and I’ll tell you everything I want.”

Ash took a sip
of his beer, contemplating him. “You know, this is an awful public place for
you to be seen with me. And if you leave here with me, just think of the
innuendos you’re opening yourself up to.”

“Innuendos are
one thing. Facts are another. But either way, I said things in the wrong way
earlier, like it seems I usually do when I’m talking to you. I want to explain
myself better.”

Ash glanced to
the side, mumbling near the bottle top before taking a drink. “More talking.
Great.”

Jackson started
to turn away. “Forget it. I shouldn’t have even come here.”

In a single
graceful step, Ash cut in front of Jackson and blocked him from going further.
Jackson stumbled to a short stop, but still bumped into him. As he met Ash’s
eyes, he saw the same look in them he had that morning, one holding tenderness
and care.

Ash exhaled an
exaggerated sigh. “I guess we can talk. For a little bit on the way to one of
our hotels. There won’t be anything else to do since I doubt I can convince you
to give me head or a handjob on the way.”

A smile spread
over Jackson’s lips. He bowed his head toward Ash as his voice dipped low.
“You’re right, since I want you to save it all until you’re inside me.”

Ash turned for
the exit. “Let’s get out of here.”

Jackson fell
into stride with him. They stepped out of the club to the warm night. Ash
handed his ticket to the valet, who sprinted away to get his rental car.

“What about
your guys?” Jackson asked. “Didn’t you all come together?”

“Yeah, but we
drove separate. Chad already found his company for the night and took off a
little while ago. We always arrive at clubs together, but never leave the same
way.”

A black Porsche
911 stopped in front of them. The valet jumped out, holding Ash’s door open.
Another valet moved to open the passenger side for Jackson.

Jackson slid
into the leather bucket seat, reaching back for the seatbelt. “Just a rental,
huh?”

Ash pulled away
from the curb. “Yeah. It’s a lot like mine back home in L.A.”

Jackson sat
quiet for a moment. “Are we going to your hotel?”

“That was my
plan. You want to go to yours instead?”

“No, yours is
fine.” Jackson took a deep breath. “This feels weird.”

“How so?”

“It’s like I
just became a random pick up for you. I was expecting…” Jackson paused, not
having the words to follow. Or at least, not wanting to say them.

Ash reached
across the car to lay his hand on Jackson’s thigh. “You’re not a random pick up
to me.”

“I guess you’re
not mad anymore about this morning.”

“I don’t know
if I’d say that. It’s just right now I’m
more horny
than I am mad. Once I get that taken care of, I’m sure I’ll go back to being
mad.” Ash glanced from the road to give him a teasing smirk.

Jackson
chuckled softly. “I’ll have to make sure to draw things out for a while, then.”

“That works for
me.”

Jackson laid
his hand on Ash’s that was on his thigh. “I’m sorry for what I said earlier.”

“It’s alright.
I was hurt that you don’t want to be seen with me in public, but I also came to
realize if the only time I can be with you
is
in
private, that’s better than nothing.”

Jackson stared
at him, made speechless by Ash’s words. He wanted to pull him into his arms, to
hold him and be held by him. He lifted his hand to Ash’s cheek, caressing along
it and down to his jaw. “I didn’t mean that I don’t want to be with you in
public. It’s just, maybe I’m afraid to. Things are a little different for me
than they are for you. I’m not open about my sexuality like you are, and you
don’t know how much I admire you for that. But my fan
base, a
lot of them have
different values than your fans. I don’t know how
they’d react.”