Marie was in her office playing catch up when Steve Marks knocked on her door. He was using this file as an excuse to get into her head. It was an open vessel.
“Hi, I hope I’m not bothering you,” he said when she told him to come in.
“What’s up?” she asked. “File causing problems again?”
He turned it around so she could see what he was referring to. “This is the only title here in the file, in spite of there being six buildings in the area. We ran a tax record search, and four of the six buildings are up to date. That might pose a problem, unless the developer has already approached them about selling. Not sure if we even need to go to this depth. Are we thinking too hard?”
She looked through the file, closed it, and handed it back to him. “Sit down. I have to think about this, okay?”
She stared at her computer screen for a few minutes. “Those buildings are already owned by the developer,” she said. “You’re thinking too hard.” She smiled at him and returned to her computer screen, dismissing him.
He wasn’t going to let her off that easily. “Would you have a cup of coffee with me?”
What the hell!
he thought.
I’m going to either get in or not, might as well find out right away
.
Marie hesitantly looked away from the screen. “You’re kidding, right?” She did not look amused.
“You only have to say no. Can’t blame a guy for trying, can you?”
She wanted to reach across the desk and slap the smug look off of his face. “Go back to work, Stevie, break time is over.” She went back to her computer screen. “Oh, and by the way,” she dug around under her desk and pulled out a small device that looked like a phone, “just in case you feel the urge to try to use this against me or pull any crap with that file, you’re on tape.” She stuck it back where she got it (he couldn’t see the source) and went back to whatever was fascinating her on her computer screen.
Steve Marks was concerned. He was a rogue, not a criminal. He’d be more careful around Miss Fabulous, but he wasn’t through with her yet. He got up and slightly bowed, which she did not miss, either.
“And close my door,” she told him.
After he left the office, Marie sat back in her chair, her hands shaking and teeth chattering. She had a vision of herself as being totally vulnerable now that Jack was dead. Arthur claimed to want to protect her, but she often felt like it gave him a sexual thrill to see her talking to
other men; he wanted the man! So now, in her very own office, the enemy was circling. She missed Jack. He would tell her to call the cops if she felt the least bit threatened. Steve Marks didn’t threaten her, but she thought his ballsy disrespect unnerving. Her thoughts were interrupted by the phone ringing; she had a call on line two. She hit the button and said hello.
“Miss Fabian, this is Joanne from the clinic. Am I getting you at a bad time?”
“No, not at all,” Marie answered. “I’m just surprised you are calling me already. I thought it would be weeks.”
“Because of your special circumstances, I pushed your case through as an emergency, and it is back already. Can you come back this afternoon?”
Marie already knew that nothing would be said to her over the phone, so she agreed to come over in a half hour.
“I’ll see you then,” Joanne said and hung up.
Maybe because asshole Steve Marks had already upset her, she was surprisingly calm for someone who was about to get what could be life-changing news. She cleaned up her desk, slipping her phone back into her purse, it having proved its value in the harassment department, and headed out the door. She decided to walk downtown. It was a beautiful day, and she needed the exercise. The upbeat mood persisted until she got to the building. Its official-looking facade was a grim reminder of the business that was conducted within.
Joanne was waiting for her, saving her from having to register again. She held her arm out in a gathering posture, inviting Marie to come in. She would be there to
try to protect her. But, in the long run, there was nothing Joanne—or anyone else, for that matter—could do to protect Marie. The damage had been done. She, too, had full-blown AIDS. Only, hers was worse than Pam’s. Her nutritional status had led to the vulnerability that would allow the disease to take hold, and she was really sick. Joanne had made arrangements for Marie to see a doctor that afternoon; they would prescribe the drugs she needed to get started right away, and she would give Marie a referral slip to have some scans done. There were opportunistic diseases that she was wide open to contract, and they wanted to make sure she didn’t have any of them yet.
Joanne read down the list of do’s and don’ts for the disease: Don’t have sex without a condom, or better, practice abstinence; use a rubber dam if she was going to engage in oral sex; don’t share needles; be careful kissing if she had any open sores in her mouth. She was appalled as this stranger recited intimate things that Marie should refrain from. She hadn’t intended on ever again having sex with a soul after Jack died, but that was her melodrama talking. She fully intended on getting Jeff into bed as soon as possible. Now this! When their talk was over, Marie stumbled out of the clinic and started walking back uptown toward her apartment.
Each step closer to home brought her to the realization that someone who she had devoted her life to, even more so than her sister had, had betrayed her in the worst possible way. It meant giving up the promise of having her own children, a husband, and a life. By giving her AIDS, Jack had sealed their love with an unbreakable bond. She was bound to him forever by the virus. No matter what,
Jack’s DNA would always dwell within her. No one could possibly love her because of it. She was ruined completely.
That night, she had horrible dreams about Jack being alive and refusing to see her or marrying Sandra and flaunting the baby in her face and divorcing Pam. She had one in which Pam changed into a demented crone, a hermit who shunned even her own children because they continued to worship the man who was their father. Twice, Marie woke up screaming. The next morning, she walked to work as usual but in a fog. Her life wasn’t going to change much. She had these drugs to take, and aside from practicing safe sex, if she ever found a mate again, there was nothing that she had to do differently except try to have a healthier lifestyle. She kept to herself when she got to the office, closing the door, as was the practice now, and getting down to work.
Around 11:00, Steve Marks knocked on her door again.
What is this guy up to?
she thought. He was looking at her through the sidelight, so she wriggled her finger for him to come in.
He slid through the door like a snake and closed it behind him. “I’m sorry about yesterday,” he started. “That was tacky of me, for sure. Can we start over?”
He looked sincere, but she didn’t know. She was getting a vibe from him that he was a player. She had been sleeping with one since she was a teenager; he couldn’t hide it from her.
“What exactly is it that you want from me?” she asked.
“Nothing, really. I’d just like to get to know you better—outside of the office.”
She frowned. “Haven’t you ever heard the old saying, ‘Don’t shit where you eat’? You should practice it,” she said to him. “Plus, aren’t you a little old for this?”
That comment threw him, and he started laughing, a boisterous, hearty laugh. “You really know how to hurt a guy!” he responded.
“Well, you have been here a week and you are hitting on someone who has more seniority than you. I would think you would have more common sense,” she said.
“There are no laws against asking a coworker out for a drink.” He had a grin on his face that said,
No matter what you say, I am going to hound you
.
“It’s obvious from your arrogance that you don’t realize what sexual harassment is.” She had a smirk on her face now.
“I’m not harassing you!” he said.
“If you keep making unwanted advances toward someone at the workplace, that is harassment,” she explained. “This isn’t anything new, for God’s sake.”
“I don’t feel like this is unwanted.” He smiled his smirky smile at her.
“So now you can read my mind? You better get the hell out of my office before you get reported, and trust me, I will not hesitate to take it as far as I need to.”
He didn’t move, and that pressed the wrong button.
Marie screamed at the top her lungs, “GET OUT OF HERE!”
Steve flashed her at dirty look and got out of there quickly.
The receptionist and employees who were in the area came running. Marie stood up from behind her desk and straightened her clothes.
“Are you okay?” the receptionist asked.
“Just a misunderstanding,” Marie said.
Why are men such assholes?
she wondered.
P
eter was on the warpath at Lane, Smith & Romney, and it was all Sandra’s fault. Since she took over Jack’s clients, they were down a researcher, and she had been trying to do both jobs for months. Several important files should be near closing, yet she was nowhere near finished with them. He had been hiding in his office for weeks, and finally, that Thursday, he came out looking for her. The receptionist had warned Sandra the day before.
“Just an FYI, Pete is in a snit about the Riverside Garden file. It’s still out.”
Sandra knew just what she was referring to; it went to Marie’s office weeks ago. Then they had some trouble with it because it was incomplete. Sandra felt like Marie wasn’t doing enough to fill in the gaps and said so. That caused hurt feelings, and now she was afraid they were sitting on it.
“I’ll call over there,” Sandra said. She dialed Marie’s direct number.
She picked up with a loud “What!”
Oh great!
Sandra thought. “Marie, is that you? It’s Sandra.” She waited, and there was no response. “Are you okay?”
“I’m sorry. Yes, I’m okay. What can I do for you?” She knew it was probably about the Riverside Gardens file and said so.
“Yes, my secretary just told me Peter is having a fit about it. Is there any way you can release it today? I’m sorry it has caused so much trouble. I don’t know what I was thinking when I did the research on that file,” Sandra confessed.
“Peter can be a real asshole. I’ll find out where they are with the file and bring it down to you. I have to get out of this office right now, anyway.”
Sandra was grateful and said so. There was no reason not to be nice when it was warranted. It seemed like Marie was having a rough day, yet she was willing to go out of her way.
They said good-bye, and Marie hung up, got her purse, and left her office, locking the door behind her. She wasn’t taking any chances with Mr. Personality. She went to the office where they were working on the file she needed.
“Gather everything up. The client wants the file back now. You did a great job in the time you had it; it’s not your fault that it was so much extra work. Trust me, they will be billed for those extra hours by all these extra people.” Marie stood there as Steve and his team put the file back together.
He came to her and held it out like he was offering it for a blessing. “What do I get if I give it to you?”
The other staff members in the room looked at him like he was nuts.
“You get to keep your job,” Marie said. She held out her hand, and Steve reluctantly handed it over. “It’s almost five, so you all go ahead and leave early today. Thank you so much for your effort on this file; it will mean a lot to the
client.” She put the file in her briefcase and left the office, happy for a chance to get out in the fresh air, but nervous about seeing Jack’s office; it had been a long time since she had been there.
What a hell of a day
, she thought as she rode the elevator down twenty floors. Between learning she had AIDS and then being harassed by that creep, she was surprised that she had handled it all so well. “Maybe I am finally growing up,” she said to herself. She hailed a cab; it was too close to rush hour to take the train downtown. Traffic wasn’t great, but she still got there before 5:30. Jack’s offices were in a beautiful art deco building. The view from his personal office was breathtaking, encompassing all of New York Harbor. She wondered who was using it now. When she was in her twenties and just out of college, she met him there on a Saturday afternoon, the excuse was to sort through some old files. She remembered walking across the threshold of the office and him dragging her into his arms, kissing her passionately like he rarely did because they were always hiding or sneaking around. This would be the first time that they had freedom, and they took advantage of it. It was total abandonment, complete and utter joy. She had loved him, of that she was sure. Of course, none of it meant a thing anymore. It could have been the love affair of the century, and it still would have been looked upon as a torrid, disgusting, and illegal union, almost incestuous. And now she knew that it meant nothing to him. He was using her totally, and there had been no feeling in it for him at all.
The cab turned onto Exchange Place, and she got out, looking up at the tall building, trying to get some
of that excitement back that she had years ago when she was going to meet him there. She walked into the lobby and felt nothing. It was gone for her, thank heaven. It had been banished, along with memories at the beach. He killed it. She rode up the elevator and got out on his floor. The reception area was small, but there was a huge brass sign spelling out Lane, Smith & Romney. Mr. Lane had sold out to Peter and Jack years before, but they kept the name. It just sounded right. The sign was imposing, well lit, and large scaled. The receptionist was new and didn’t know Marie. She approached the desk and asked for Miss Benson. Within sixty seconds, Sandra came out to get her. Marie was surprised that her belly wasn’t very big. She was hiding her pregnancy well. Sandra asked her to come back to her office. The carpeting was new, soft and thick. There was recessed lighting down the length of the hallway, which gave the space the feel of an airplane. She wondered if they had done that on purpose. She didn’t remember it from her youth.