Authors: Glorious Dawn
“
Sí.
We will go together, as usual.”
“Not this year, Luis. I’ll go alone. One of us must stay here.”
“Then I go.”
“They expect me. Be reasonable. Listen to your big brother for once. Which one of us is more capable of defending the ranch? And who is the sly fox who can sneak in and out of their camp, who trained the sentries we’ve got posted? Whose idea was it to organize the women—”
“He’s right, Luis,” Red spoke up. “Our women and kids would have a better chance with you here. I’ll make the trip with Burr this year.”
“Now you wait just a doggone minute,” Mooney said.
“We can decide that tomorrow. Codger, where’re the eggs?” Burr yelled.
“Keep yore britches on, they’re comin’.”
The front legs of Burr’s chair hit the floor and he reached over and knocked Luis’s feet off the chair. “What say we get married today, brother?” He grinned at the surprised look on Luis’s face.
Smile lines appeared around Luis’s tired eyes. “
Sí.
It is a good time. If the Apache come it will not be before they get the supplies.”
“I was thinkin’ that. Besides, the
padre
wants to leave in the morning. There’s sickness in a village in the mountains.”
“He will have no trouble. I will send Paco to show him the way. They will circle the big butte and go up.”
Burr robbed the stubble on his cheeks. “Do you think I ought to shave?”
“
Sí.
” Luis moved his chair a distance from Burr’s. “And wash off that cow smell, as well.”
“Eat up,” Burr said, taking the plates from Codger and shoving one down the table to his brother. “We’ll go break the good news to the ladies.”
* * *
From the moment Burr appeared in the kitchen door to announce that the wedding ceremonies would take place that afternoon, time had ceased its meaning for Johanna. An unalterable tide of events began its course. She went through the motions of preparing for the weddings without quite realizing what she was doing. Burr had explained that there was no immediate danger that the Indians would attack the ranch; but that because the Apache were there in the valley, the weddings would take place without the festivities that usually accompany such an event. This was perfectly agreeable to Johanna.
Jacy was beside herself with excitement. She and Luis had planned to be married at his hacienda, but because of the distance from the fortified ranch buildings, they had accepted the invitation of Red and Rosita to be married in their home. Burr asked Johanna if these arrangements were suitable to her. When she shrugged, he arranged for their wedding to follow his brother’s and Jacy’s.
With numbed heart and shaking hands, Johanna slipped the wedding dress over her sister’s head.
“I wish Mama were here,” Jacy said with a catch in her voice.
“Perhaps she is, honey.” Johanna blinked the tears from her eyes.
“Do you think she knows that in spite of . . . all that happened, I found someone to love me . . . and that I’m happy? The last time I saw her she was—”
“Shhhh, shhhhh . . . don’t think about it. I’m sure Mama knows, and wants this to be the happiest day of your life. Now, how about your hair?”
“Luis likes it to hang loose.” Jacy’s eyes gleamed and her cheeks turned rosy red. “I’m glad I washed it in rainwater. Oh, Johanna! The dress is beautiful!” She ran her hands down the sides of the full skirt. Johanna had cut off the bodice of the dress and moved the full, gathered skirt up so that it fit snugly beneath Jacy’s breasts. She had covered the seam with a strip of white tatting taken from a pair of pillowcases and had added a white satin bow.
Johanna brushed her sister’s hair, then placed the mantilla she had made out of four white handkerchiefs edged with lace from her mother’s petticoat over her head, allowing one of the corners to fall down over her forehead. She turned Jacy around so she could see herself in the small mirror.
“Oh, I really look like a bride! The mantilla! When did you make it? Oh, Johanna, thank you!” She threw her arms around her sister. “No one ever had a more wonderful sister. We’ll both wear the mantilla. I’ll wear it while I say my vows, then you wear it.”
Johanna dressed with a heavy heart and a shaky stomach. For her wedding she was going to wear a freshly washed white shirt and her gray skirt. She brushed her hair back severely from her brow, then twisted it into a rope that encircled her head—like a noose, she reflected wryly. A noose that would slowly tighten to cut off her independence and perhaps make her as bitter as old Mack himself. Beneath the silvery crown her face was pinched and white, her eyes shadowed by the realization of the enormity of the step she was about to take. In her frozen state she dared not think too far ahead lest the composure she had striven so hard to achieve crumble and spoil this most important day in Jacy’s life.
At the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs her nerves tightened and the butterflies in her stomach went berserk. She had eaten little. Not even Ben’s scolding had induced her to tackle more than a few mouthfuls of food at each meal. Now she suffered waves of weakness and clutched hard on the iron rail of the bedstead, willing herself not to allow Jacy to see her in this condition. A tap on the door set her heart racing and a few seconds elapsed before she was able to call, “Come in.”
Ben opened the door. “Lovely ladies.” He bowed. “Your future husbands have given me the honor of escorting you to your weddings.”
Both stared at him in amazement. He wore a dark suit, white shirt, and string tie. His black shoes were polished until one could almost see a reflection in them, and his hair, parted in the middle, was slicked down on each side. He limped into the room, his neck held stiffly away from his starched collar.
“Johanna,” he said shyly; keeping his eyes averted from hers. “Will you give me the pleasure of seeing you wear Anna’s brooch on your wedding day?”
The tears Johanna had managed to hold back all day suddenly flooded her. She went to Ben and kissed his cheek.
“Ben, I’ll be proud to wear it!” She took the small cameo from him and pinned it to the neck of her blouse.
Beaming with satisfaction, he said, “If you ladies are ready, we should be leaving.”
They had reached the bottom of the stairs and were waiting for Ben to take the last few painful steps out of the house when Johanna saw old Mack standing in the doorway of his room. Johanna paused. For one heart-stopping moment she thought he meant to attend the ceremony, but then she saw that he was leaning against the door frame without his sticks. The look on his face made her feel sick. It was the self-satisfied look of an animal that has made a kill and is gloating over it before tearing into its flesh. His face was flushed and his eyes were overbright.
“You said you couldn’t be bought, but I bought you, didn’t I, missy?”
His words had a steadying effect on Johanna. She lifted her brows haughtily.
“If you want to think so. Only a fool would turn down such a bargain for a few principles.”
She looked toward the door and saw Jacy and Ben standing there. The thought flashed through her mind that she’d been cornered and would be forever branded a bought woman by this old man and his bastard son. For one wild moment she was tempted to send Jacy and Ben on without her. But she wasn’t going to let Mack Macklin stand in the way of Jacy’s happiness. She knew she was sacrificing her own, but that was her choice. She forced a smile and went toward them, and the three went out into the bright sunlight.
“What did he mean, Johanna?” Jacy asked anxiously.
Johanna laughed lightly. “Who knows? I think he’s slightly drunk. Does he drink much, Ben?”
“Hardly at all,” Ben said thoughtfully. “But let’s forget about him. This is your wedding day.”
Every ranch hand who wasn’t on sentry duty was waiting for them when they reached the bunkhouse. They stood somberly in a half-circle, their hands awkward with nothing to do. To them, the ceremony was sacred, and each and every one of them wished to witness it. These hard-looking, hardworking men were shy to the point of boyishness, Johanna thought, and found it hard to keep her own face somber. Each wore his best, be it a colorful poncho or a clean flannel shirt. Boots had been wiped clean of dust and spurs had been removed. Some showed small cuts on their faces where they had nicked themselves scraping away a week’s growth of beard. Without exception their lean, tanned faces wore expressions of solemnity.
“I didn’t see Mooney,” Johanna said, glancing back at the men who followed a discreet distance behind them. She almost smiled at the pained looks on their faces: cowboys despised walking!
“Mooney drew watch. He’s up by the spring. Luis thought we should have extra patrols.”
“Where’s Bucko?”
“He went on ahead with Burr.”
They walked on slowly and silently. Ahead Johanna could see groups of people standing in front of Red’s small adobe house, staring intently in their direction. To Johanna’s relief, Isabella was not among them. The garb of the men and women could hardly be called elegant. All had the air of practicality, of making do with what was on hand. They stood quietly and waited for the wedding party to reach them.
Jacy broke loose from Johanna’s hand and hurried to Luis the moment she saw him standing beside the small, balding
padre.
Her face was radiant, and her shining eyes saw no one but him. He was breathtakingly handsome in slim tan trousers with a wide colorful stripe running down the side. Over his full-sleeved white shirt was an elaborately embroidered vest, and around his waist was wound a colorful sash. His black boots matched the shine on his carefully brushed hair. It was clear that Luis considered this the most important day in his life and had dressed for the occasion. He feasted his eyes on the beaming face of his beloved and then went to meet her with arms outstretched.
A sense of rightness swept over Johanna as she viewed their obvious joy in each other, and the great weight she had carried for so long lifted from her heart. How wonderful for Jacy and Luis! Two people who had been so cruelly wronged had found each other, fallen in love, and would live out the days of their lives together. She silently thanked God for being so kind to her sister.
“My . . . reluctant bride has arrived at last,” a voice whispered close to her ear.
“Burr, behave . . . please,” Ben said impatiently.
“Ah, Ben, let me have my fun. After today I’ll be hog-tied for life to a prissy, old-maid schoolteacher.”
“If you’re going to be sarcastic, Burr, I’d not blame Johanna if she left you flat,” Ben said crossly.
“She’ll not do that. I’m the only eligible bastard left in the valley.”
Ben sighed in exasperation.
Johanna glanced up and caught the gleam of mockery in Burr’s eyes. In spite of the devilish smile on his face, a nerve in the corner of his narrowed eyes twitched and the fingers that adjusted the silk scarf about his throat trembled. Johanna smiled and gave herself up to the pleasure of knowing that the big brute was nervous. He was not dressed as elegantly as Luis; however, he was a fine-looking man in his spitpolished boots, neat dark pants, and white shirt. The scarf at his neck matched the blue of his eyes, and without wishing to, Johanna felt a thrill of pride in his handsome appearance.
“You . . . ah . . . look very presentable,” Burr said as his eyes wandered down over the unfrilled blouse and plain skirt.
“Thank you,” she replied coolly and let her eyes roam insolently over him.
“Do I pass inspection, teacher?” he asked softly.
“You’ll do. At least you don’t smell like horse manure.”
Burr let loose a shout of laughter that caused all heads to turn in their direction. “You’re no prize, Johanna, but at least you won’t bore me to death.”
“Then I’ll have to think of something else, won’t I?”
She turned her back on him and scanned the crowd for Bucko. Finally she saw him standing with his back against the side of the house. She left Ben and Burr abruptly and went to him.
“I’ve been looking for you.”
It was the same as on the first day she had met him. He stood silently, with his head bent.
“I would like very much to have you at my side during the ceremony.” Dejectedly, he broke a small twig he was holding and threw it on the ground. “Bucko, please look at me.”
“You be Burr’s woman,” he said without lifting his head.
“Burr will still be yours, Bucko. It won’t make any difference in the way he feels about you, or the way I feel about you.”
“Isabella say you make me go.”
Johanna stood stone-still, almost speechless with anger. Why would that . . . hussy say that to Bucko? To make him feel unwanted?
“Isabella is wrong, Bucko. She’s disappointed because she’s not the one to marry Burr, and that’s the reason she said this to you. It is
not
true. When I marry Burr, we will be a family. You will be our little boy. I could never send my own little boy away.”
“You be my mama? Like Rosita and Harley?”
“Of course I will be. I thought you knew that.” She grimaced as she pictured Burr’s reaction if he could hear this conversation.
“Isabella say you lie, you will go away.”
“Have I ever lied to you, Bucko?” Johanna lifted his chin with her fingers, forcing him to look at her. “Have I?” He shook his head. “Well then . . . ?”
“I will stand by you.” He reached for her hand.
“Thank you.”
Together they walked back to where Ben and Burr were waiting.
“I’ve invited Bucko to stand with us,” Johanna said evenly, and looked into blue eyes that looked deeply into hers and then down at the small boy who held her hand tightly. He looked back at her for an instant and she thought he was going to say something, but then he shrugged and reached out and ruffled Bucko’s hair.
“That suits me fine, cowboy.”
“Come on,” Ben urged. “The
padre
is ready to start.”
“This is your last chance to bolt and run,” Burr teased softly in her ear when she turned to follow Ben.
Johanna choked back a retort. If he was so determined to have the last word, let him.