Double Take (19 page)

She smiled and passed him a plate of fresh fruit. Finally, as they ate, she explained about meeting Madison on her way to her aunt’s, and the life swap.

“Anna, that is unbelievable.” He stared at her in wonder.

“Yes, and I must admit it was unwise. I regret doing it now.”

“Why?” He helped himself to another portion of macaroni salad.

“I feel badly that I have deceived my family.”

He frowned. “What if they’ve been deceiving
you
, Anna?”

“What do you mean?”

“Just that we were taught some things that aren’t actually true.” He took one of the little sandwiches, examining it closely.

“Such as?”

He began to ramble on about things like doctrine and theology and world history until Anna felt completely lost and frustrated. It seemed that Jacob was questioning everything, including God and the Bible and the future of the universe. Did he really believe what he was saying? If so, how could he sleep at night? She would be terrified.

“What are you really saying?” she finally asked him. “I mean about our community.”

“Just that I think the church leaders are not only mixed-up but also misleading.”

Anna wasn’t sure how to respond. As much as she cared for Jacob, she knew he was greatly changed. Not just in appearance either. What made this even more unsettling was that she felt she’d just reached her own spiritual crossroads. How could she turn away from what felt genuine and important? How could she back out of her promise to be baptized? She’d made it not only to her parents but to God.

Madison felt torn on Friday. Of course, she was glad it was her last day on the farm, and she would be so happy to take a long hot shower, wash and condition her hair, and sleep in a comfortable bed. Yet there was something about this simple lifestyle that appealed to her. Enough to give up her other life? Probably not.

There was also Malachi. As she and Rebekah, who had thankfully come for another day, finished up the laundry, Madison could not stop thinking about him. She couldn’t erase the image of his disappointed face. The way the sparkle had seemed to be extinguished from his eyes when she’d made her confession yesterday. She knew she had hurt him deeply.

Rebekah stood up straight and squinted up at the sky. “The clouds look dark, don’t you think?”

Madison nodded. “It feels like it’s going to rain.”

Rebekah tossed a sheet onto the top of the laundry basket. “We better haste to hang this. Maybe it will partly dry before the rain comes.”

They both grabbed one handle of the large wicker basket and ran it to the clothesline near the garden, where together they hung up the sheets. Madison was surprised at how much easier this task was with someone else helping. It looked much better than when she’d done it earlier this week.

“I can finish hanging the diapers,” Madison told Rebekah, “if you want to go help your mother with lunch.”

“
Ja
, das a good idea.” Rebekah headed toward the house.

“Here, Elizabeth,” Madison called to the toddler, who had wandered into the garden. “Come and help.”

Elizabeth turned, but not before she had grabbed and pulled up a baby carrot and popped it into her mouth with a wicked little grin.

“No, no.” Madison went over to fetch her. “Your mamm said wait until the carrots get bigger.” She used the edge of her apron to wipe the dirt off Elizabeth’s lips. “Come now, I need your help.” She set Elizabeth under the clothesline and handed her the can of clothes pegs. “You hand them to me.”

Elizabeth didn’t seem to grasp the concept of working together. Instead she dumped the pegs onto the ground and sat down to play with them. At least it kept her busy and nearby.

Eventually, Madison got the last diaper hung. “It’s no wonder disposable diapers caught on so well,” she said to Elizabeth as she helped her toss the pegs into the can. “Now let’s go help in the kitchen.”

Madison had noticed that the house not only looked much cleaner, but it smelled better too. She would never say as much to Rachel, but she suspected that some of the rumors about Rachel’s housekeeping had been based on truth. Not that it made it right for her neighbors to treat her like that. Hopefully things would start to change now that Rebekah and her family had decided to take Rachel under their wing.

“Here, Anna.” Rebekah’s mother had a tray with lunch ready. “You take this to Rachel now.”

“Denki.”
Madison picked up the tray, careful not to slosh the soup as she carried it up the stairs. She hadn’t seen baby Maddie since this morning. So far Daniel had not commented on the baby’s name, so maybe Rachel would get her way this time. She had confided to Madison that he had chosen the names of the other four children. “Oh, dey are good names, all right,” she said last night. “Only dis time I get to pick.”

Madison pushed open the door with her elbow, glancing in to see if Rachel was sleeping, but she was sitting in the chair by the bed, brushing her hair.

“Here you go.” Madison set the tray in Rachel’s lap, then took her brush. As Rachel started to eat, Madison worked on her hair. It was long, nearly to her waist. But the color seemed faded and Madison suspected that it would be turning gray soon. “How old are you?” she asked as she brushed out the tangles.

Rachel chuckled. “I feel old, old today. Maybe one hundred.”

“No, really, how old are you? I’m just curious.”

“I will be twenty-nine in May.”

Madison was shocked. Rachel was only twenty-eight? She could easily pass for ten years older. In fact, Madison’s mother was forty-six, and she looked a lot younger than Rachel. But money could do that.

“It is all set for you tomorrow,” Rachel said quietly. “I told Daniel I need you to run an errand. He says you must go early, at sunup, so Malachi can be back here to work by midmorning.”

“So by this time tomorrow, the switch will be complete.”

“You two girls.” Rachel chuckled. “You crazy, funny girls.”

“Anna will pick up where I left off,” Madison said.

“
Ja
. The real Anna dis time.” Rachel’s voice sounded a bit sad.

Madison sat down on the edge of the bed. “The Lapp girls came to help again today,” she said. “Their mother too. I like them a lot, Rachel.”

“They are good people.” Rachel set the spoon beside the empty soup bowl. “Good in the kitchen too.” She grinned at Madison. “You did not cook today,
ja
?”

Madison laughed. “No, I did not.”

“This is good.”

“I think the Lapps want to be better friends with you, Rachel.”

“I would like that too.”

They talked a while longer, Rachel asking questions about what Madison’s real life was like, Madison giving somewhat vague answers. Really, the less said seemed better. But she did tell Rachel about her parents getting divorced a few years ago.

“That is sad.” Rachel shook her head. “I am sorry.”

“
Denki.
Yes, it was sad. For all of us.”

“Sometimes it happens here,” Rachel said. “There is trouble . . . a marriage is not good. When one wants to leave community and one wants to stay. That is sad too.”

“That would never happen to you and Daniel?” Madison suddenly felt worried. They didn’t seem to have a very good marriage, but hopefully Rachel wasn’t thinking of leaving him.

“No, no. Daniel will never leave.”

“And you?”

“Oh no, I could not leave. I could not do that to my children. Never.”

“You are happy?”

Rachel smiled over at the sleeping baby. “
Ja
,
ja
. I am happy. Happy to have baby Maddie. Such a good baby too.”

“Would it be all right if I sent you something for her?” Madison picked up the tray of empty dishes.

Rachel’s expression was hard to read. “You know how is here, Madison. If you send something that is English, I must hide it.”

“Like the way you hide the dandelion wine and the hair shampoo?” Madison teased.

“Ja.”
Rachel laughed. “Like that.”

“I will see what I can find.” She smiled at Rachel. “You should probably get some rest.”

“
Denki
, Madison.
Denki schoen.
”

With the Lapp girls around to help with the kids and cooking and cleaning, Madison decided to put her best effort into getting that dress for Elizabeth sewn. It was slow going, and for some reason—maybe the machine did not like her—the thread kept getting all bunched up and then she would have to rip it out again. Finally, just before dinnertime, she had it nearly finished. She folded it neatly and placed it on Rachel’s sewing basket. All it needed now was the hem.

To everyone’s surprise, Rachel came down for dinner. When Daniel bowed his head to pray, after a few moments of the usual silence, he actually prayed aloud, giving thanks for his wife and their new child. Madison peeked over in time to see Rachel smile. Maybe there was hope.

After dinner, Madison cleaned up in the kitchen, then helped the children get ready for bed, but it was Rachel who came in to hear their prayers. While she was doing this, Madison heard the baby crying, so she went to check on her. She changed her diaper, which thankfully was only wet. She still wasn’t sure how to deal with the other. She wrapped the baby back into the tiny quilt and walked her over to look out the window, out toward the pond, which was already glistening in the moonlight.

“Baby Maddie,” she cooed as she rocked her in her arms. “You will grow up to be a fine young woman someday. I wish I could be around to see you. I will miss you.”

“We will miss you,” Rachel said from behind.

Madison turned to see Rachel with tears in her eyes. “I will miss you too,” she told Rachel. “More than you can imagine.”

“You will take us with you,” she said, reaching for the baby, “in your heart.”

Madison nodded. “Yes.”

“And we will keep you here with us . . . in our hearts.”

Madison reached out, hugging both Rachel and the baby. “Thank you, Rachel,” she whispered, “for taking me into your home like you did, even when you knew I was a stranger.”

“Das what we are taught,” Rachel said, “when we welcome a stranger, it is like welcoming the Lord himself.”

“Denki schoen.”
Madison kissed both Rachel and the baby on the cheek. It wasn’t until she was in her room that she realized she was crying too.

“Jacob has promised to take me to see the sights of New York,” Anna told Lucinda as they met for coffee on Friday morning. “After he finishes classes at noon.”

“Tell me everything,” Lucinda urged. “How did it go? Was Jacob happy to see you? Is he going back with you? Are you—”

“Slow down.” Anna held up her hands. “One question at a time.”

“Okay.” Lucinda stirred her coffee. “Let’s start with Jacob. What kind of classes is he taking?”

“He said it’s GED program. I am not sure what that means.”

“It’s a way to get a high school diploma.”

Anna nodded, pretending she understood what this meant.

“Was he glad to see you?”

“I think so.”

“You
think
so?”

“It was difficult to know. It is not like before. We are different—changed.”

“Yes, but do you still love each other?”

Anna swallowed hard. “I do not know.”

“You mean you don’t love him now?”

“I love him still.
Ja
, sure. I cannot stop loving him so easy.”

“Do you think he loves you?”

Anna frowned. “I am unsure.”

Lucinda gave her a sympathetic look. “Maybe you’ll know more after you spend more time together.”

“Maybe.”

“Do you think he’ll return with you?”

“No.” Anna firmly shook her head.

“Really? You know that for sure?”

“For sure and for certain. Jacob said he will never go back. Not to live there, though he said he would like to visit his family someday.”

“Oh.” Lucinda set down her coffee. “How do you feel about that?”

“I am confused.”

“Yes, I can imagine. You want to go back, don’t you?”

“I think I want to go back. But seeing Jacob . . . it makes me question things.”

“What things?”

“The way our families live—and believe.” She pressed her lips together, unwilling to say more.

“Yesterday you seemed quite certain about those things.”

“I felt quite certain—yesterday. Before I saw Jacob. Now I am unsure of much.”

“If Jacob asked you to stay here with him, if he asked you to finish your schooling like he’s doing, start a new life, would you?” Lucinda looked hopeful.

“I—I don’t know. I could not stay here with him unless we were married. That would be wrong.”

“But if he asked you to marry him, Anna, would you stay here? Would you marry him and start a new life?”

Anna felt close to tears, as if something inside of her were tearing. “I do not know for sure. Maybe.”

“Wow.” Lucinda shook her head. “That just blows my mind.”

“Blows your—”

“Sorry. That’s an old expression—something my dad says a lot. I mean it’s just incredible to think that you’re the same age as me and that you might give up everything to marry a guy you love. It’s so romantic.”

“Romantic . . .” Anna considered this. She supposed there were some things about her situation that were similar to some of the novels she had read. But for some reason it did not feel quite the same. Perhaps because this was real life, not a storybook. Maybe her father had been right all along about reading storybooks. She felt torn.

“You know, Anna, if you decided to stay in New York and marry Jacob, my mother would probably hire you for sewing. She was really impressed with your work.”

“Really?” Anna blinked. “She would give me a job?”

“I think so.”

Anna thought of Daed and Mamm, of Katie and her brothers, of the land, her home, the life she would be saying goodbye to. Then she thought of Jacob—how long she had loved him, what their life here might be like. She felt completely and utterly bewildered. Which choice was right for her?

“You could probably stay with me or Madison until you and Jacob got married,” Lucinda said. “Maybe you could start working on your GED too.”

Anna nodded, only partially listening as Lucinda rambled on about all the reasons it would be good for Anna to remain in New York City and eventually marry Jacob. The more Lucinda talked, the more believable it all sounded, until Anna was almost convinced this was a good thing indeed. Perhaps it truly was meant to be.

“What are you wearing for your big day?” Lucinda pointed to Anna. “Not that, right?”

Anna looked down at her clothes. “I dressed in haste,” she explained. “Madison’s phone kept me busy this morning.”

“Who called?”

“First of all,
you
called to invite me for coffee,” she reminded Lucinda. “Then Madison’s father called, asking about my cold.” She made a coughing sound. “I told him I was still sick but that I would call him as soon as I was better. He told me all the things to do for a cold and offered to come take me to the doctor. It was not easy to make him believe that was a bad idea. After that, Garret called.”

Lucinda frowned. “What did Garret want?”

“To see me—I mean to see Madison.”

“Did you tell him about finding Jacob?”

“No. I was worried he would want to come meet him. He was curious to see him before.”

“Yeah, that would be complicated.”

“Ja.”
Anna sipped her coffee.

“Back to your outfit,” Lucinda said in an urgent voice. “You can’t spend your big day with Jacob dressed like that.”

Anna shrugged. “I do not know how to dress.”

“Sometimes you do okay.” Lucinda cocked her head to one side. “And sometimes, like today, you could get arrested by the fashion police.”

Anna blinked. “Fashion police?”

“Just kidding. But seriously, if you go running around the city like that, you could get photographed by paparazzi and really embarrass Madison.” She chuckled. “Although that might be worth seeing.”

“I do not want to embarrass Madison.”

Lucinda looked at her watch. “Then we better get moving. It’s already 11:30 and you are in need of a fashion intervention. Let’s go up and give you a makeover.”

Anna considered asking Lucinda for an interpretation for all that, but since Lucinda was obviously in a hurry, she decided not to. They had barely gone into Madison’s closet before Lucinda was pulling out one item after another, finally carrying them all out to the bed and heaping them there. She went through the pile of clothing, finally deciding on a skirt with a black, pink, and gray pattern, some black stockings, and black boots.

“It’s a good thing it’s cloudy today,” she told Anna. “You can still get by with black hosiery. But you will have to consider shaving those legs eventually.” She handed the items to Anna. “Start with these while I pick out something to wear on top. Then we’ll do your hair and makeup.”

By the time Lucinda finished, Anna looked just like a real New York girl. Wearing a pink jacket and some accessories as well as a different purse, Anna felt she was, as Lucinda said, “put together.” In fact, Anna thought she looked more like Madison than she had since the day Madison had helped her. Was that only a week ago? It felt like a lifetime.

Perhaps it was.

“You are good at this,” Anna told Lucinda as they both stood looking into the mirror. Even Anna’s hair looked right.

“Thanks.” Lucinda grinned. “I like helping at my mom’s fashion shoots.”

Just then Madison’s Blackberry rang, and it was Jacob saying he was downstairs waiting. “Thank you for helping me,” Anna told Lucinda as they rode down in the elevator. “It makes me not so nervous.”

“That’s right.” Lucinda nodded. “Good fashion is a great confidence builder.”

Anna did not admit that she was still nervous, just not quite as much as before. When she saw Jacob waiting in the lobby, looking even more handsome than yesterday, she wondered . . . perhaps she could do this. She introduced him to Lucinda and the three of them talked for a bit in the lobby.

“Well, you two better get going,” Lucinda said. “There’s a lot to see in the city.”

Anna thanked her again. Lucinda asked her to call when she got home, then she winked at Anna as if they had a secret.

“You look very pretty,” Jacob told Anna as they went outside. “Just like a real American girl.”

“Thank you.” Tingles went down her spine as he cupped his hand around her elbow, walking her down the sidewalk.

“I thought we would take the subway,” he said.

“The underground train?” she asked.

“Yes. It’s a good way to get around.”

“Better than taxis?”

He laughed. “Cheaper anyway. Maybe quicker too.”

“You have learned so much in such a short time,” she told him as he led her down a stairway tunnel.

He nodded. “It was like I belonged here, Anna. I felt it almost as soon as I arrived.”

“Oh.” She tried to comprehend this. “What did you do?” she asked as they got into the back of a line of people. “Where did you stay? Did you have money?”

As they rode the underground train, he explained how it was a little rough at first, but he quickly made some good connections. “We aren’t the only ones who have left home like this,” he told her. “There are good people who help people like us.” He told her about a man named Robert who had found a place for Jacob to live, a house with a lot of other young men, and helped them to find jobs and to get into the GED program. “I take the test next month,” he said as they emerged back up a tunnel stairway and onto the sidewalk. “Robert is already helping me to find some scholarship money.”

“Scholarship money?”

“For college, Anna. I plan to go to college.”

“Oh yes.” She nodded.

“I want to get my law degree.”

Again she nodded, but she really wasn’t sure what that meant. “Where are we going?” she asked.

“This is Battery Park,” he said. “I thought you might like to take a ferry to see the Statue of Liberty.”

“A ferry?”

“A boat.”

Anna had never been on a boat before. The idea of being out on water like that made her uneasy. “I would like to see the Statue of Liberty,” she admitted.

“Robert brought some of us here a few weeks ago,” Jacob said as they walked. “I thought you might enjoy it too.”

When they reached the place where tickets were sold, Jacob looked uneasy. “I didn’t know it was so expensive,” he whispered to her.

She looked down at Madison’s shiny black purse. So far she had been very frugal with Madison’s money and credit cards. But this was her last day in New York, and here she was with Jacob, so she decided to set her worries aside. “I will buy our tickets,” she told him. She used Madison’s credit card, trying to remember how Madison said it worked, and told herself she could repay Madison with the money that Lucinda’s mother was going to pay her for sewing.

As they waited to get on the boat, Anna told Jacob about what Lucinda had said about working for her mother.

Jacob looked surprised. “You are thinking about staying in New York?”

She smiled. “Maybe.”

It was exciting to get on the boat, but when it started to move, Anna got queasy. Her legs felt wobbly and she was afraid she was going to vomit.

“Are you all right?” Jacob peered at her.

She held her stomach and shook her head.

“Come out in the fresh air,” he urged, tugging her toward a door.

Being outside helped a bit, but the wind was cold and Anna began to feel that this boat trip was a mistake.

“You stay here,” Jacob told her. “I’ll go get you something to drink.” He returned with a soda. “Here,” he said, “drink this.”

She didn’t care much for soda, but after a few sips she did feel a bit better. When Jacob pointed out the majestic green statue standing on a building right in the middle of the water, she nearly forgot her queasy stomach. “She is so beautiful,” Anna said.

Jacob told her about how the statue had been a gift from France and how all the immigrants to the United States had come past her, arriving on Ellis Island. “But not our ancestors,” he said. “They came to America
before
the Statue of Liberty.”

After the boat trip, Jacob asked Anna what else she wanted to see. “Nothing by boat,” she told him. “I want to stay on solid ground.”

He laughed. “No more boats.” He decided on the Empire State Building, which was another tall, impressive building, but when he asked her if she wanted to go to the top of it to look down, she firmly shook her head. “It makes me dizzy to look down from the penthouse. I would not like to go all the way up there and look down. I keep my feet on solid ground.”

“Maybe another time,” he said. As he was taking her back toward another stairway tunnel, she stopped him.

“Can we ride in a taxi instead?”

He shrugged. “If you want to pay for it.”

“I will.” Going so fast underneath the ground made Anna nervous. It took a while for a taxi to stop, but finally they were riding inside one and she began to relax a little. At least the taxi didn’t go as fast as the underground train.

“Grand Central Terminal,” Jacob told the driver.

“What is that?” she asked. He explained that it was the train station, but well worth seeing. They walked around the enormous building for about an hour and then went back outside and waited, even longer this time, for a taxi to stop for them.

Anna was tired now, but she didn’t want to admit it.

“Saint Patrick’s Cathedral,” Jacob called to the front seat.

It wasn’t too long before the taxi stopped in front of an ornate-looking old building. “Wait for us,” Jacob said to the driver.

They got out and walked around, looking at the giant structure. Yes, it was pretty, and yes, it was huge, but Anna felt like a child who had eaten too many pancakes with syrup. She was full. Too full.

Back in the taxi, she let out a tired sigh, closing her eyes and leaning back. “I think I have seen enough sights for today.”

“We’re not too far from your building,” he told her. “Do you want to go home?”

Home? Did she want to go home?

“Anna?”

“Ja?”
She sat up and opened her eyes.

“Are you all right?”

“
Ja
,
ja
. I am fine. Just tired is all.” She realized she hadn’t eaten lunch. “Hungry too. Are you hungry, Jacob?”

He was, so he told the driver the address of the penthouse building, and when they got there, Anna paid him. As she slipped the wallet back into the purse, she realized that Madison’s cash had dwindled considerably today. “We can eat in the penthouse,” she told Jacob.