Authors: Steve Elliott
Chapter 14.
Stephanie and I abandoned the mystery of the
reversible
Janice and took to the water. The water temperature was cool, but pleasant, and it became a pleasure to swim the necessary hundred metres to the rocky outcrop. We arrived to find that Janice had already discovered the next note.
“It was sitting in this
box
,” she announced, holding up a small, battered tin container. Stephanie and I read the note over Janice’s shoulder. It was another cryptic effort from our poetry-minded, taunting admirer.
Opposite to sunrise and devils. Harmonies reign supreme.
Your admirer.
“
Worse
than before,” grunted Stephanie.
“This person is a
psycho
!” Janice told us loudly. “We should be reporting it to the
police
.”
“And just
what
do we tell them?” Stephanie wanted to know. “There’s been no harm done so far. It’s just a handful of riddles.” She carefully replaced the note in the tin and tucked it into the top of her swimsuit. “Let’s go back to shore.”
I matched Stephanie stroke for stroke and we reached the shore side by side. Janice had arrived moments before us but apparently had
lost
the upper half of her miniscule bikini during the swim, because she was parading around
topless
in front of a speechless Maureen.
“Uh, Jan, sweetie,” Stephanie said, “where’s the
rest
of your costume?”
“At the bottom of the lake, I imagine,” Janice casually answered. “Who
cares
? I can always make another one.”
“Are you
feeling
all right, Jan?” I asked, anxiously. “You don’t appear to be quite…..
yourself
.”
“I’m
fine
,” she snapped. “I’ve never felt better. Stop
fussing
over me. I’m going to the car to get dressed.”
“I’m not sure what’s going on here,” Maureen said, shaking her head. “Jan is acting totally weird. Do you suppose she’s
sick
, or something?”
“She doesn’t
appear
to be,” Stephanie answered, rubbing her chin. “Her health seems excellent. But
something
is definitely going on with her. I just can’t imagine what it could be though. I never dreamed in a hundred years that she’d
expose
herself like that. That’s not the Jan we
used
to know, that’s for sure.”
Stephanie and I dried ourselves and re-donned our clothing. Janice returned, respectably apparelled once again, and we decided to sit down for our lunch. We spread out the tablecloth and loaded it down with our food and began our meal. While eating, Stephanie informed Maureen of our latest mystery missive.
“
Wow
!” Maureen exclaimed. “That’s even
worse
than the previous message. This person, whoever it may be, is getting
stranger
.”
“
Weirder
, you mean,” grunted Janice, chewing on an apple. “I still think we should go to the police. God knows
what
he’s capable of.”
“Let’s just see if we can
solve
it first,” soothed Stephanie. “Now, what’s the opposite of
sunrise
?”
“Sunset, of course,” I answered promptly.
“Correct,” replied Stephanie, “but that doesn’t seem to help any. It must be something else.
Thinking
caps on everyone.”
We sat and pondered. Opposite to sunrise? Opposite……sunrise……? I couldn’t think of anything.
“Well,” Janice said hesitantly, “The sun rises in the East,
right
? And sets in the West? Could the answer be ‘
West’
?”
“
Ding
!” announced Stephanie. “Give that contestant a
banana
. ‘West’ it is.”
“How do you
know
that’s the answer, Stef?’ I asked, curiously.
“Because I’m
cleverer
than you lot,” Stephanie grandly proclaimed.
This was greeted with howls of outrage from the rest of us and a pre-emptive, full scale
food
fight ensued, with Stephanie pelted with comestibles from three sides.
“Stop, I
surrender
!” she admitted, waving her hands above her head. “Cease your bombardments.
Look
at me! I’ll have to have a
wash
in the lake now.”
“Serves you
right
,” I told her.
“Ah, to be truthful,” Maureen objected, “Stef actually
is
smarter than we are, you know.”
“
Maureen
!” Stephanie hissed. “I told you that in
confidence
!”
“What do you mean?” I asked, curiously.
Looking at Stephanie apologetically, Maureen said, “Stef has a near
genius
IQ. We were both tested some time ago before we met you and Janice. I was only average, of course, but Stef’s results were nearly
off
the chart.”
Janice and I stared at our resident prodigy in amazement. “
Why
didn’t you ever tell us, Stef?” I questioned.
She flushed under our gazes. “
This
is why,” she explained. “I didn’t want to be the odd one out. I just wanted to be seen as an ordinary member of our little group and so I made up a few
stories
about myself.”
“So you’re actually
not
a laboratory assistant, then?” Janice accused. “You
told
us you were.”
“She’s really a theoretical physicist in charge of a whole
department
,” Maureen supplied, almost bursting with the need to tell us her news.
“
Maureen
!” Stephanie exclaimed, yet again.
“I’m
sorry
, Stef,” Maureen apologised, “but I
can’t
keep these secrets to myself anymore. I’ve always felt guilty about fibbing to the others all this time. They deserve to know the
real
truth about you. They’re our
friends
, for heaven’s sake!”
“So
that’s
why you’ve never invited us to your workplace,” I murmured. “I’d always wondered about that.”
“Yes, I couldn’t have you wandering around the
building
,” Stephanie confessed. “You would have found out the truth about me. Listen, you guys, I’m
sorry
about telling you all those little white lies about myself, but I wanted to
belong
so badly. Nobody wants to be around me when I start talking quantum physics, and I get
lonely
too, you know.” A single tear forced a path down her face as she spoke.
I went over to her and took her into my arms. “Come
here
, you big silly,” I told her, sympathetically. “
Nothing’s
changed. We
still
like you even if you
are
a brainiac. In fact, it’ll be
great
! You can fill out my income tax forms for me. I can’t make heads or
tails
of them.”
Stephanie laughed happily and hugged me fiercely. “
No
one can, honey, and that’s the whole
idea
. The government doesn’t want you to know how much money you owe so they can charge you whatever they want.” She looked at me gratefully and gave me a quick peck on the cheek. “Thanks for
accepting
the new me, sweetie,” she whispered. “I wasn’t sure you would.”
I looked at her kindly. “Stef, you’re still the
same
person you always were. Why
wouldn’t
I accept you? We all
love
you.
That
won’t change.”
Maureen and Janice crowded around at that stage and we commenced a satisfying group hug.
Finally, we broke apart and sat down to finish our meal. “Let’s continue the riddle,” Maureen demanded. “Stef,
you’re
the obvious one to lead us through it.
Go
, girl.”
Stephanie cleared her throat self-consciously and declared, “I don’t want to appear to take
over
everything,” she said. “I want to keep things just as they were before.”
“But you
always
took over everything before
anyway
,” Janice reminded her. “Now we know
why
. It’s because you know
everything
about everything.”
“No, I
don’t
,” disagreed Stephanie. “I’ve always
listened
to your opinions, haven’t I? You don’t think I’ve been a Miss Bossy Boots all this
time
, do you? Why didn’t someone
tell
me?”
“You haven’t been
anything
of the sort,” I comforted her, patting her hand. “You’ve always been the acknowledged leader of the group, that’s all. Carry on, sweetie, we’re listening.”
“Okay then,” Stephanie continued, a little nervously, “this is what I think, but shout me down if you think I’m wrong. The opposite of a devil would be an angel. So
where
are angels found?”
“
Heaven
?” I suggested.
“Yes, true” agreed Stephanie, “but we can’t
go
there right now. Anywhere else?”
“
Christmas
decorations?” Maureen volunteered.
“
Wrong
time of year,” Stephanie disagreed. “Janice? You were right about the
lake
. What do you say?”
Janice’s face became blank as she thought. “I think it’d be more of a
place
, than an actual angel,” she said slowly. “And the
one
place that represents the antithesis of evil would be a holy place - a
church
, in fact.”
Stephanie clapped her hands in glee. “I believe you may have hit the nail on the head, Jan,” she enthused. “Girl, you are
sooo
good at this. I didn’t think of a church, but now that you say it, the answer is obvious. It ties in with the rest of the riddle too. Well
done
, that girl!”
“How does it
tie
in?” I wanted to know.
“The
harmonies
, my dear,” she answered. ‘The harmonies reign supreme’. In a church, you always have a
choir
singing hymns. The clue must be the choir loft.”
“But
which
church?” Maureen questioned. “There are at least three or four around where we are.”
“You’ve forgotten the
first
bit of the riddle, darling,” Stephanie advised. “The bit about being ‘opposite to sunrise’, remember? How many churches are to the
west
of us?”
“Just the
one
!” Maureen interjected, excitedly. “The Ecumenical Hall! It must be in
there
!”
“Very well done!” Stephanie congratulated everyone. “We’ve all played out part in the answer. Now, let’s enjoy the rest of the day. Thanks to
you
lot, my first job will be to have a bath.”
“I’ll give you a hand, Stef,” I said. “There’s cake all though your hair and everything. You look a
right
mess!”
She poked her tongue out at me and I grinned. “That’s
your
fault,” she argued. “I saw you throw that cream cake.”
“No, that was
Jan
,” I objected, “I deny any responsibility for your
cakeicide
.”
Chapter 15.
Stephanie stripped off her clothes and commenced to wash herself. I knelt beside her and tackled her cake-
caked
hair ( tricky wordplay, eh?), endeavouring to tease her locks into some semblance of order.
“Maureen has a royal
crush
on you, you know that,
don’t
you?” she murmured, as I sloshed water over her head. I paused in my head rinsing action.
“She
does
?” I asked. “How do
you
know?”
“Honey, it’s so
obvious
,” Stephanie replied, with a small smile. “Don’t tell me you haven’t
noticed
it? She can’t keep her
eyes
off you. When you were getting into your bikini, she was staring at you so hard I thought her eyes would pop right
out
of her head. Face it, sweetie, you have an
admirer
.”
An admirer……? I inhaled sharply. “Stef, you don’t suppose that
Maureen
is the one writing those notes?”
“It’s
possible
,” Stephanie replied thoughtfully. “I know she has a
thing
for you. And she
is
shy. Has she said anything about being in
love
with you?”
I shook my head forcefully. “No, not a thing.”
“Well then, it’s quite possible that’s she
is
the culprit.
One
: she’s too shy to tell you, and
two
: you do have her admiration.”
“But what are all these weird
clues
all about, then?” I asked.
“God only knows,” Stephanie replied. “People in love do the
strangest
things.”
“What are we going to
do
about it then?” I asked, restarting my hair washing procedure.
“Nothing, right now,” Stephanie replied. “We have no
proof
and nobody’s been hurt so far. Let’s just wait and see.”
The wash finished, Stephanie dried herself and dressed. We all decided that we’d had enough excitement for the day and so we packed everything into the car and drove back to Stephanie’s place and from there to each of our respective homes, agreeing to meet in the morning at Maureen’s house.
Paul was there to greet me as I walked in the door and asked if I was any closer to solving the secret admirer mystery.
“Not as such,” I informed him, throwing myself into an armchair. “However, Stef and I think it may be
Maureen
.”
“Maureen?” echoed Paul. “Why
her
, of all people? I’ve always thought she was the
sanest
one of your little group.”
I threw him a sour glance, and he grinned at me. “Well, for one thing,” I informed him, “I’ve just discovered that she may be……in
love
with me.”
Paul raised his eyebrows at that little piece of information. “Really?” he exclaimed. “Are you
sure
?”
“Stef seems to think so,” I assured him.
“Well, then she probably is,” Paul agreed. “From what I
know
of her, Stephanie appears to be correct in most of her assumptions. So, Maureen has been struck down with one of Cupid’s arrows, eh?
What
are you going to do, my sweet?”
“I’m not too sure,” I answered doubtfully, scratching my chin. “We did share
one
impromptu kiss that felt like the real thing, but that’s all so far.”
“Not a lot to go with, then,” Paul mused. “How do you
feel
about her as such?”
“I like her for sure as a friend, but as a potential
girlfriend
? Well, I’m just don’t know yet,” I replied. “I mean, her
personality
is ideal - she’s caring and loving and considerate, with a dash of
funny
thrown in to make it interesting. She’s tantalisingly
innocent
and shy, and now that she’s trimmed down, her
body
is sensational. And her
hair
! I could play with that all day…….” I looked across at Paul in dismay. “Oh my god, have I just
talked
myself into loving her?”
Paul smirked. “You’d better
stop
describing her attributes right now, I’m thinking, otherwise that will happen for
sure
,” he informed me. “And if you say any more,
I’ll
be falling for her myself. She seems ideal girlfriend material, and you have been
single
for quite some time now, you know.”
“I know,” I glumly agreed. “Paul, why can’t I ever keep someone with me?”
“We’ve been down this road on numerous occasions, honey,” he told me gently, “but we never seem able to find a solution to that question. You’re beautiful and generous and the most
loving
person I know, but that doesn’t seem to
count
where you’re concerned.” He shrugged. “I can’t even
begin
to work out why no one will stay with you. It doesn’t seem right or justified. I’m sorry, sweetie, I just don’t know. Maybe you’ve been born under an unlucky star.”
“Not much help there,” I moped, “but
thanks
for the kind words.” I sighed sadly. “Maybe it’s
me
after all. Maybe I just don’t know
how
to love properly.”
“Of course you do, honey,” Paul objected strongly, coming around and hugging me. “Don’t
talk
like that. Everyone you love is
privileged
to be with you. Things simply don’t work out. It happens. But one day you’ll find the perfect match, I guarantee it.”
“Do you really
think
so?” I asked hopefully, snuggling closer into his embrace for temporary comfort.
He stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head. “For
sure
, sweetie,” he reassured me softly. “A loving girl like you? Of course you will. Just you wait and see.”
Our little group met at Maureen’s house the next morning, all eager to continue with our search. I kept an eye on Maureen, seeking any telltale signs that she was the secret note writer, but, of course, I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. I did, however, find a plethora of clues that she was feeling the bite of Paul’s Cupid arrow - small giveaway signs like lingering glances, almost inaudible sighs, ‘accidental’ touches and the quivering smiles that littered the landscape. Why hadn’t I seen these clues
before
? They were so
obvious
now that I was looking for them. But what was I going to
do
about it? Should I
encourage
Maureen and see where our affiliation led or should I take her aside and tell her to stop wasting her time on me? I stood back and surveyed Maureen dispassionately. She
wasn’t
beautiful, but that didn’t matter so much to me. I’d take personality over
looks
any day. What was the point of having a beautiful partner on your arm if they drove you crazy with a
grating
personality? No, prettiness wasn’t an issue.
What
then? What was stopping me from marching over to her right now and
kissing
her? Was I lonely?
Yes
! Did I ache to hold someone in my arms?
Yes
! Would I be ecstatic to run my hands over her body at night? Yes, yes,
yes
! So what was the
problem
here? I knew that Maureen would be overjoyed if I asked her to be with me.
Wouldn’t
she? A tiny doubt crept into my musings. Maybe I was
wrong
about her feelings, although they appeared to be fairly apparent. But, by her own admission from when we’d found the second love note, she’d never been in a relationship with a
woman
before this. Would I be leading her astray or frighten her off if I professed that I wanted to be with her?
I threw my hands up in disgust. Questions! All of the time
questions
! And so
many
of the wretched things. I
hated
the first stages of romance. What would the other person do if I did that? If I approached it
this
way, would they leave or stay?
Bah
! Trying to second guess someone else’s reactions was enough to drive you around the bend.
We piled into Maureen’s car and made our way to the church. It was late morning, so all of the services had ended. We casually made our way inside the building but the place was empty of worshippers. Sure enough, the church boasted a choir, judging by the raised loft at the back of the hall. Glancing around for observers, we climbed up the stairs leading there and scattered around, seeking the note.
“
Found
it!” Janice whispered, a few moments later, brandishing another small metal tin.
“We’ll read it later,” commanded Stephanie. “Let’s head for home before we’re caught.” One by one, we descended the stairs and fled the building in a guilty fashion, obscurely feeling as if we’d just desecrated the place.